if it's raining
I can't see
if it's raining
I can't feel

is it even real

the clouds of yesterday
don't look the same today


it's colder
it's grey

another sad weekend
without you

I can't feel
I can't see
I can't hear

I don't miss you
I don't miss you
I don't miss you

do I need you

do I even need you

I know you're not okay

I hate to see you going through all of this

but

I'm sorry

I don't miss you
I don't miss you

I don't ask about you
I don't think about you

truth is
I'm doing so much better
right now


I don't mind us slipping
further away

I hope you break free
I want to see you happy

I still love you

I just

don't miss you

I want to stop breathing

my mind feels like a thunder storm

I'm not scared

they can say

everything

I want to slice open my neck

when I get home

I want to leave my body

I hate this feeling

like I'm tired for anything

I can't do the things I need to do

I don't want to repeat this

I want to end it

it feels like everyone can understand

none can break free

my guilty conscious is running a million miles right now
I'm such a fool
um

look it's not my fault
even if it kind of is
I won't take the blame
I'll point fingers to someone else

um
it's your fault

all the scenerios
I'm making up
going through

I feel so bad
now what do I do
look I'm sorry

guess you can hate me now
it's not my fault
I promise

what can I do

I'm so sorry

um

guys think I

feel so bad

oh this guilt

will

e
a
t

m e

u p

a
l
  i
    v
      e

the most beautiful flower

can I keep all my wishes
inside my back pocket

forgot the place I started
where am I supposed to go now

calling my friend
just to cry

no one listens
they take advantage

pretty flowers
butterflies in my hair

ripping off the petals
without my permission
hurts so much

I've never felt like such a child
so scary how small you made me

keeping my tears inside
waiting to fall to the floor

everything is ruined now

didn't want to let you know

how do I tell you
something that hurts me to admit

don't have the heart to say
you didn't mean nothing to me back then

I forgot you easily
I let you go because I didn't care about you

I can't remember all the things we did
all the words I said

you told me
you remember everything

I remember the night
you told me you were depressed
on video call
while I sat down in my bed

I remember sitting down on the library floor
waiting for you

it's so hard to put the pieces together
dark times I chose to erase

now we reconnect
I promise I won't be the same like I used to be

you hate that my lips aren't red
I cut open to cover them in blood

do you love me
even if it's painful

I'm killing myself softly

you think I'm so beautiful broken

so sick in the brain
you love to tear me up and put me back together

making me believe
you're the only one who can love me
you save me from myself

I feel so ugly
how am I pretty to you

if you hate my skin
I'll rip it all off
grow it back soft for you