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eileen 1d
your sad eyes haunt me
how can you look so miserable

if you're not okay
would anyone know?

if you're not well
would you tell someone else?

your eyes haunt me
you looked so dead
not in a good way

maybe you lost your soul
can't find it?

maybe your heart stopped
did you feel any heartbeats when we talked?

your eyes haunt me
the lonely boy
all alone inside that room

i can't help him
can't make him better
can't give him what he wants either

i had a shoulder for you to cry on
i had space to keep your darkest secrets
i would digest your shame and guilt

but i can't take your ego
your pride

so stay away from me

keep your haunted gaze
far away from me
eileen Jan 25
prince charming

will come and save me

because that's how the story goes

I was made to suffer
and for him to be the hero

I wait in my tower
full of despair
rotting away

prince charming
will find me soon
or so they tell me

but I know
prince charming is far from home
he's somewhere playing with someone's heart

I suffer and
wait for my savior

let me die in my bed
waiting for true love's kiss

prince charming
can't you come over
are you busy or did you give up

I'm tired
of this sick
twisted love story

know it's
unfair

god punished me
and made me a girl

with this heavy heart of misery
oh prince charming
please come and **** me

change the story
and end my life

save me
and become the villain

just this once
eileen Jan 17
it's not enough
to burn myself for you

it's not enough
to lose my mind and body

it's the missed details
all of the unseen marks

I can't wake up today
so close my door if you decide to stay

I'll hate myself again
when I realize I can only write in pain

here it starts
this is where it begins

from the top to the bottom
of a page

it's not enough
to be addicted

it's not enough
to lose my reality

when all I want to do
is sink further into
a suffocating abyss

this one is different than the rest
it's a different type of darkness

even if it hurts and kills me
just as the others did
eileen Jan 17
you've got someone to take care of you
and i do not

why am i giving you love
when you're better off

it's happening again
I'm so used to it
so I let it continue
while it ruins my whole life

gave you all my money
gave you my heart
why am i so wasted
the bottle keeps spinning

you've got someone
to sleep with
and i sleep alone
losing perspective
of it all
of us

where does this leave us

unable to say it
i try and wash it down the drain
i still do it for you at the end of the day

i separate
i let go

why must it be
something hard to process

i want to begin my life
alone
without you

i guess it's hard to
commit
hard to say out loud

the days where
i gave myself up
to stay happy
in our bubble

i want to get out
leaving you
isn't a crime

but it seems
I'm already a criminal in your eyes
nothing i can do to redeem myself
nothing to prove my innocence

you've got someone
you've got something
you've got somewhere

and i have nothing
no one
no where
eileen Dec 2023
letting the feelings sit
I can't rip them in half
like I did to your note

I'll let them stay
till they rot
in the back room

never will settle
you've got to tell me
to go
before I do it myself

so unbalanced
uneven picture frame
of us in my mind

I wish I could just erase
all the precious moments
I can't get back

unsatisfied
or glorfied
there's no peace
with you

if you could say sorry
would you?
bury me if I asked you to?
eileen Oct 2023
our winter
is looking blue
just like the last

this is the last time
we'll spend an october together

every day
feels like a countdown

for a sick separation
I know
this is going to hurt

I'm searching for a new home
and you've got your own

he doesn't have a ring
for you yet
hoping he finds one soon

I'll be so far away
by the time
you realize
this is all a big mistake

our last autumn
ending soon
we died faster
than the falling burnt leaves

this is going to hurt
what else can I do
try and move on

no distance
or time
can cure this heart split in two
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