I want you to stop being calm
I want you to stop being stupid
stop pretending like none of it is happening
that we aren't in the middle of a disaster
stop being okay with it.

It isn't okay.

Sometimes, it really isn't.

she tells me
it gives her chills
to feel the trains rush past
on their way to places she'll never go

they carry wind
she says
from places she's never been
and she breathes a little deeper
when the rails start to sing

toes to the ledge
she stiffens her wrists
palms to the fury
catching blurs of blacks and whites and blacks and whites
and yellow

she shivers
a shake that loosens her bones
and she sits next to me
settling slow like the flow of her dress
in the fading stream of a north bound torrent

she tells me
there's nothing to be afraid of
and I believe her
though she spoke not a word

there's white ice in my ears
and I've tried to avoid this
pitter-patter palpitation for
so long, but it's here now

it's here now.

I acted for love
And won every award for
Your heart-breaking turn

Lately I just
               sit
               in    silence

I feel it mounting,
slowly, steadily building,
every little thing adds to the heat,
I feel,
that slowly rises,
to my head,
creating an ever growing red mist,
that clouds my vision.
That mist is hard to clear away,
once it comes,
and luckily I rarely see it,
but when it's there,
my rage becomes,
uncontrolled.
My fuse is long,
but once it's lit,
it can not be stopped,
i'm like a ticking time bomb,
ready to explode,
at any given moment,
and when I do explode,
I cause an impressive amount,
of damage.
But now I know I will explode soon,
I can feel the adrenaline,
rush through my veins,
and my blood,
roaring in my ears,
my body is shaking with
the anticipation,
of finally letting go,
of my anger,
and releasing all of my stress,
and feelings,
so I can start fresh again,
but until that happens,
my anger will be,
uncontrolled,
and never stopped,
until I can calm myself down.

Oh how it eats me alive
As the thought dances in my brain
Am I not good enough?
Do you want another?
Look at how much more beautiful they are,
Their skinny waists and sparkling eyes
And a personality to match.

we were young then, with eyes and smiles
brighter than the stars that we watch at night.
we did what we were told, back then, simply because
we were told to do it.

ah, but you,
you aspired to shoot down the stars,
to stick on our ceiling, ever-glowing-in-the-dark.
so we buy our guns and just go.

and then on this bitter autumn night,
lead defies gravity, with a loud bang launched into the sky.
and then the clouds came, and
our breath hung in the air like f o g .

'look,' i said to you then, 'its snowing.'

'no, look again,' you smiled, 'we killed the stars, they're ours now.'


look what we did:
exactly what they said we couldn't.