"I am not depressed."
Lie.
It is easier to say,
I still don’t believe myself.
What can I say?
I’m a liar.

She jumped from love to love
Faster than falling rain

You feel like the dark night sky
Making the rest of us shine like stars
When the morning crosses horizons
You think you fade away
But without knowing
You have always been the sun

My vocal chords are exhausted
Sound no longer escapes my mouth
Yelling for help
Screaming for hope
For so long has taken it’s toll
Except I have never made a sound
Because depression is not something
People want to talk about
So I’ve kept it to myself
Shouting so loud my mind has gone deaf
And maybe that’s why
All it can think about
Is silence

I
will
quietly
slip unnoticed
out
of this broken
world

Sometimes when people write my name,
They write GREAT
And it reminds me
It’s not so bad to be a mistake

It's humbling to realize
How quickly
How often
How easily
We are forgotten.

Trying
To be a legend
Won't
Get you into heaven

i do not care
how loudly you speak to me
as long as it's true

I have all my stories left to tell
But I may not make it
I'm pleading with God's angels
To pull me from this hell

A haunted house
Because
People are
Always
Looking for the exit

The blurry world in my eyes
My flimsy knees like grain of rye
Open mouth and silly yawn
Snap my fingers and I’m gone

Depression means
I don’t swim in the ocean anymore
Because I’ve spent days drowning
In my own bed

Depression means
I don’t hug people anymore
Because every time I let go
I feel guilty for letting go
Too soon
Or too late

Depression means
I am difficult to love
Because I need you to be with me
But not too close or too long
But don’t stay away
Because I get lonely but also
Need isolation because I’m an introvert
Because my love language
Says I like receiving gifts
But whenever I get a gift
I feel like a burden
And I’m not worth whatever you paid for this
Because I have put a cost on myself
On my happiness
On my mind
Because anything more than $75 an hour
Won’t get me a return on my therapy investment
Because I sometimes see myself in the mirror
And wish I could disappear

Depression means
Life and death don’t feel all that different
Because they’re both terrible ******* options

It's okay to close your eyes
I will see you through the night
And the world will come crawling
But I am here; you will be alright

So lay your soul into bed
I know your days have felt so long
Like the weight of worlds is yours to hold
I hope your dreams come with this song

It's okay to be afraid
I know the world is ****** up for you
But baby you have angels
My God and these angels, we will get you through

You will find no cross
There will be no stone
On the side of the road
On your way back home

You spent so long
telling me
To go **** myself
I should forgive you
Or forget you
In whatever order
That doesn’t make
me question
What love is supposed
To feel like

When I go
Take this body
Burn it to ash
Forget what I
Looked like
And suddenly
The world will be
Dustier,
But
Better

"I love her," I wrote my friend.

"Why did you tell me?" he replied in the end.

"I don't know how to say it," I said full of shame.

"The first thing you do is start with her name.
Pluck out the her, replace it with you.
Put down your pen and pick up your voice.
Say those three words and give her a choice."

buried deep
inside
of me
this grief has
gravity
be gentle with my
memory
it’s the only piece you’ll
have
of me

I can hear my life
Complaining
About all the things
I have not
Let it be

I can hear my potential
Chastising
My laziness and mediocrity
In a single
Breath

I walk as though the destination doesn't matter.
I'm never in a hurry;
the end cannot be better than the trudge.
Walking after midnight
my pillow is tired of hearing all the words hanging themselves on the tip of my tongue.
Which is weaker, people or love?

broken people
break people
and baby you
*******
shattered me

Could have convinced me
I am not
Irreparably broken
It would have been
You