If you have never seen a baby dream,
you know nothing bout longing;
About missing a divine place to come here.
Such innocence swaddled in such a small body without control.
They communicate with God
more effectively than any prayer I’ve ever heard.
So take a lesson from babies and children
to learn how to really be men
With a racing heart that should be in a marathoner,
he struggles to open his eyes and wake.
Their heavy breathing is the only sign of the errands
they still run in heaven.
They quiver their lips as if to tell you a secret only God knows,
but has been dying to share – he just needed more innocent lips
When their eyes close they revisit that heaven they just left;
seeing more than our eyes could ever tell
In their inexperienced bodies their eternal spirits struggle to move
Even as my arm goes numb
he’s the only thing that I should be holding in that moment
His sweetness makes me want to be a little bit... more
As I think “what will you be one day?”
I realize it doesn’t matter
That today he makes me a little better
The first time he squeezed my hand I knew it was God
who picked us a millennia ago
to live this life as uncle and nephew

I’m not good at being forward
I have this habit of becoming disordered
I let my emotions change the color of my sleeve
In my aspirations I hope to find belief
I walk through jungles and rainforests
Once in a while I see through the canopy
Into the skies of my memories
And request that stars dance to the rhythm of us
I keep them alive to avoid the gathering of dust
My memories, caught in the Pensieve of your eyes
Have ignored all the times I told myself lies
I may not be your ideal Superman
But I’d accept Peter Pan if you’ll go with me to Neverland
I’ve rarely been so captivated by a girl
Sure, Zooey Deschanel is quirky in New Girl
And Emma Watson bewitched me from the start
Anna Kendrick was perfect in Pitch Perfect
Alex Morgan is the luckiest 13 I’ve ever seen
But I choose you! To fill my canteen
You quench my thirst when the loneliness dries me
I was not made to walk in a desert
My heart is an amphibian
Living like a Floridian in the ice-cold tundra we call Rexburg
You still need the sun, no matter how much it snows
I’ll trudge on in the jungle; dormant in the night
I’ll carry on with you in mind, until the time is right
Once I’ve faced death, or even a spider
Then, I think I’ll top the greats; George of the Jungle, Aslan, Mogly, Tarzan, Batman, Peter Pan, Harry Potter, Genghis Kahn, Michael… Jackson or Jordan
They’re all kings and I’ll be in their league
As I shake off the fatigue and find courage in you
To make it through the awkward moment of simply saying
“You’re a real kind of gorgeous”
In that chorus, played on my rhythm of heartbeats
I found my way out of the back streets
From deep in the jungle I’ve come to know as Fear
A jungle that disappears when your presence is near
Sometimes I have to stop walking, stop thinking
I feel like I’m on the verge of something spectacular
Anything normal might ruin that

I have to tell my heart that I am worth living for
I argue with my legs that I am worth supporting
I promise them that one day I'll take them to new places
I tell my hand that I’m worth holding
But sometimes, I tell myself to let it go
Because I really don’t have reasons for any of them
All I have is hope
That they don’t leave me in my own shadow
My shadow only sticks around because Peter Pan stitched it to my feet
I don’t blame it… I would leave me too
That’s why I don’t blame the people who choose to not stick around
They choose another person's life to live in
I like going to movies by myself
I would rather read a book than write my own
I know that I’m weird and I accept that as "good"
So when others tell me what I already know
I pretend that they’re not saying it with negativity
Like it’s been done typically
I know that I stick out
I wear really bright clothes and I’m obsessed with my shoes
I’ve never listen to them, but I can feel the rhythm of  blues
I feel like Chicago blues get her lyrics straight from my life
I’m still trying to convince myself
That missing myself is worth fixing myself
I don’t have an argument that I’m worth all the effort
But once I stop… There’s no one left
I’ve been on my own for a long time
And my tears don't quench my thirst anymore
My arms are sick of only having me to hold
My chest has swallowed my pride
My mind and my body have left me alone
I would leave me too

Leaves are a little bit like girls
When I see a really crunchy looking leaf
I want to march up to it and step on it
Hear that sweet sound of spring’s death
Bringing way to autumn's beauty
With all her vivid colors
The changing trees swaying
In the chilling breeze

Leaves are a little bit like girls
When I see a really pretty girl
I want to march up to her and say something catchy
Something smooth
Something groovy, like,
“Hey darling.”
“Congratulations on your face. It’s beautiful.”
Caught off guard by such forward bravery
She’d be taken aback by my chivalry
Opening the door to opportunity

Although leaves are a little bit like girls
There are distinct differences
And I know you can all be my witnesses
A leaf is waiting to be crushed
Like a back waiting to be popped into place
Girls aren’t so fond of ginger boys
Or even ginger men
To come straight up and lift them on the pedestal of admiration
Girls are shy too; it's not just me
I simply want to say
Something to make her smile
Like, “I want to talk with you a while”

Leaves are a little bit like girls
No matter how hard you try to rake them in
They blow away in something
As light as the wind

I have a purple heart
I used to have so many strings attached
I was the marionette, and you were the master
And slowly, you got your strings around my heart
I never saw you, thread in hand, approach me with such deceit
As you started to pull my new heart strings
I felt the aches as you slammed my heart against the locked door
A cell of bones and blood there to protect from an attack like this
Now trapped from within and unable to escape
The strings keep pulling and the aches never dull

I took it for a long while thinking this was affection
But effective protection would have expelled this spell from hell
Cast out witches! Burn them like they did in Salem
It’s what they deserve for the worth that they earned
I cast you down with stones in hand
Cut my heart strings thinking I would be free
After 16 months, I took a look inside my chest
My heart was gone – replaced by a smooth river stone
I saw the runaways note addressed to me
It said;

"Hey, I liked those strings. I worked so ******* them. It took me the whole 22 years we have been traveling together to create. After all, what do you know of love? You just cut away the ties you had to me. So I’m sorry, I have to go. That woman always cared about us, cared about me. And you cast her into the flames of indifference."

The epistle was signed with a purple heart

So I got my purple heart
From the heart that quit it’s job
I held the letter and began to sob
The tears smudged the ink and the letters ran together
I saw in the river of words a “P.S.”

"PS – I told you about this girl. The one you never talked to because you didn’t have the courage. I told you she was the only one I could care for."

I have a purple heart
And I have no heart at all
A girl took it, without ever knowing

You never know when your pain only hurts so bad
As if it were screaming out loud
To get you to pay attention some how
About the greatness before
If you’re willing to leave the chartered shore
Be open to fear, to growth, to pain
In these opportunities of change you will rightfully reign
As king and captain of your soul
Bringing riches, treasures and glory
That “comfortable times” aren’t strong enough to teach

You define yourself by how you answer the door to Life
You develop yourself by how you knock on the door of Life

The world is waiting to offer a price on you set too low
Filled with can’t and don’t and wont
You can raise the price upon your head
By robbing Experience of her silver lining
In doing so, truly finding
How great you are and the change you can make
Don’t leave it to Fate – she’s just an excuse
To accept poor circumstances rather than create better ones
Stand strong – especially when you stand alone
Be the lone tree dwarfing fields of grass
Don’t give into the world and become another drone

Be yourself and have plenty
Define yourself and be happy

I’ve recently developed a hypothesis
It’s crazier than the idea of an atheist
The truth is the hardest pill to swallow when it stings like a vaccination
So I’m dealing with the fact that my love may be broken

I’ve had a broken heart but those can be repaired
With time, effort and divine intervention
The fibers of the heart can be re-stitched together
But my love – my ability to love – seems to be destructive

When you care too much, you lose what you wanted most
I wanted you; so I said so
That worked like a poison, numbing your feelings for me

My love is like a broken boomerang
I throw it out with heartfelt emotions
Hoping and waiting for your love in return
But my love never comes back at all
It doesn’t even come back as a letter ‘returned to sender’
It simply died when it was on its way

Whether in your negligence or on the journey love take us on
My love died like a single drop of water in the desert
I wish I could figure out the enigma of love and the defect mine seems to have
My love is broken like a bird without her wings
Grounded against her nature and denied to possibilities of true life

My love is withering in my own heart – you can only love yourself so much
I was ready to give you all I am
But somewhere along the way I feel like my love is not only broken…

I tried another time to love another soul
My broken love had a heart attack and died in route to the grave
It wasn’t taken to a hospital because my love was a lost cause
Something unworthy of its name; love

My love was never seen as love by any other being
It was seen as infatuations or crushes that crushed life out of attraction
So now that my love is dead, what do I have to offer the world?

We all respond to lost love in our own way
I would fight until I had no breath or strength – then again
Maybe it’s not my love you need, or even want

That’s the trouble with loving you
I overstep, overlook and over-wish
My love was just too strong for it’s own good
Now I weep in the arctic for the faithless cruelty

An arctic that I call summer from the frozen tundra of my heart
Hell has frozen over – hell has become my heart