From my first scream
The light was dying.
Boy to man
A slow decay,
Bled into me
Boiling away the days
To the bone.
My love was a
Haemorrhage
After you.
Yet I remain
A spectre in my room.
With tears and dissatisfaction,
Forgotten
Like warmth and laughter,
Squandered
Like the years
That never cease.

Cold tiles under feet;
Midnight.
Say goodbye and make
Your plans.
The future has nothing left
to warm you.
It's okay to cry
Just don't expect a miracle.
The love you crave is in the grave.
Be happy for the joy you felt,
The skin that pressed against yours.
The ecstacy you gave
Selfishly.
Slipping through your fingers.
It is no more.

My mistake.
Forget the signs of
vulnerability,
My tender soul
And all the errors
That slipped
from my lips.
I wouldn't fit in your world.
The beast within
Would tear
hot throats
Beneath the silver moon.
I cannot play nice
Or fit in.
Jealousy, rage —
Impropriety
Betray this honest man.

I can't explain
My foolish intrigue
Your words are
Kisses stitched into skin.
You leave me
Branded,
Waiting to be known.
****** but not forgotten.
I lose each waking dream
Only to begin anew —
Loveless. Irrational.
Would you want
a hapless man
Who
wandered from the path?
Can you
understand the pain
that forces me to laugh?
I want to belong
In your smokey realms
Conjured at your fingertips
Reckless inbetween
your thighs.

Divine beastie —
There is wonder in your fine eye.
A wild nature,
Ancient and unfurled.
Chaos and smoke,
Night and dagger.
You! Sweet familiar,
Cruel wanderer.
I have known
your heart
A thousand lives.
Never stray too far.

In this low permanence
I miss my desire —
The luxury of sin
That filled the void
Between pain and loss.
The blissful anaesthetic
of your mouth,
Always hungry
Bitter in its vulgarity
Unafraid.
In those moments
we were endless,
Aching into oblivion.
I don't care what you want
Just tell me,
Your secrets
Moaning sweet obscenities
in my ear.
I don't miss the feelings,
Your hand in mine.
Just those three little words.

Can't sleep tonight.
I feel her touch,
Her heated whisper in my ear.
A memory half real
upon those brief waking seconds.
An ancient forgotten myth —
Alive and panting,
Graciously demanding attention.
"I am still here.
   Forget me again,
When the night is kinder.
Tonight my horror
          Is yours to keep."