Here I am again, writing my thoughts.
If there was only a way to fly in the clouds.
Never to be seen again or found.
It is less likely to be true.
There is only one place I'd rather be.
Between the plains of reality and dreaming.
Where I could see you.

You come at me in my sleep...
I dream what you tell me to dream...
You control my thoughts and manipulate my movement...
There are these things I hear but don't want to see...
People tell me certain things that I ignore...
I put all my effort into you and yet I feel distant...
You tell me you love me but how can I be sure...?
I go to water you and help you grow...
You reject my thoughts and mind...
We are supposed to grow and become one...
At this point I fear not commitment but time...

Maybe I did fall in love with you too fast.
Maybe I should've just stayed friends with you so this could last.
Now I'm sitting here thinking about the past.
How I knew this wasn't going to last.
Jokes on me, I'm just a loser.
Now my heart is a bruiser.
It takes hits all day.
I walked around and carried all this weight.
Just to show you that I will end up sky.
Now I'm beneath the ground.
6 feet deep.
Now I can finally sleep.
Its time to count these endless sheep.

When rain comes, I form a boundary.
These grey gloomy clouds have feelings.
Rain pours down like a never ending rain forest.
The only time I feel warmth is with your smile, your eyes, your presence, your thoughts. There is more to this list.
You overcome the thunder that is in my head.
You turn any occasion into a bright day.
Your brown honey eyes make my hands sticky.
I miss holding your emotions like they were my own.
This is supposed to make me feel better but all I can feel at this moment is pure sadness.
I will carry your burdens anywhere.
I know you didn't ask for this.
I see you.
Please...

You make me smile like the stars shine...
Bright...
Beautiful...
You always present yourself for me...
Shine to the fullest...
You are my star...
My everything...

As I write these words, I'm falling down to my knees.
I put my hands together and pray.
I'm projected out my body where I can dance and play.
I feel so free and blissful.
I can only rejoice that I have made it to another day.
I'm on a new journey and path that will take me beyond this day.

Be carful when you walk on my path...
There are cracks that haven’t been fixed...
There are holes that need to be filled...
I’m working on it don’t worry...
I don’t want anyone to fall like I do...
Those are my mistakes and my responsibilities...
My relationship with myself will get better...
If you see me working don’t halt me...
Help me with your encouraging words...
Let me know I can do this..
If you give up on me I’ll continue to fix myself...
I’m doing this for me so I can better my life...
Please do the same with yours...

Lights in the night sky remind me of you
How far away they are but still so beautiful
They burn bright just like your smile
Continue to be bright until that's all they
Talk about at night
Even after your smile has faded away
Display that confidence that you once had

Crying is what I do when I think of you...
My sunflower is no longer with me...
I need to trim my leaves and leave you in the roots...
This will help me grow and nurture myself...
Since you are no longer here to do that...
Plant your seed else where and watch it grow...
Watch how the soil will be different...
Watch how they take care of you...
I will miss watering you everyday...
I now have to watch you grow from a distance...
Bloom into that flower no one expects...
Eventually people will seek your seeds for guidance...
Help bloom other flowers...
Help wilted flowers rise again...
You are my sunflower and now I must let you go...

You were there during the darkest times
Now I gotta sit back and watch you progress with a different mind.
I miss holding your hand and listening to your favorite band.
Now I gotta learn how to face the bend of my will so I can be complete without you so my heart can be still.
My eyes shift so many times I swear I had a gearbox occupying my brain.
I’m drifting so far away I can barely keep my eyes open so I just lay and focus on the pain.
I had pedal to the metal and realized I was on E.
I wasn’t even moving it was my mind playing tricks on me.

I can't wait for that first gust of crisp cold air.
To stand outside and embrace nature.
I can already hear the crackling of the firewood.
Followed by music and laughter from around
Smores are being made
Crunching sounds are followed shortly there after
The hint of rain is in the air
This is fall

I see you at the top of these stairs. Waiting...
Hands behind your back and a smile on your face.
I try to run up the stairs but I go no where.
Every step I take it’s like there’s another to keep me from you...
I keep trying and trying but all I seem to get is further away...
So far that all I see is the silhouette of your body...
I sat on these stairs and cried...
Cried until I felt a hand on my shoulder...
It was you...
You said “Come on, it’s time to go.”
You looked at me with those honey brown eyes and smiled...
You asked “How far are you willing to go?”
I answered. “To the end of the world.”

One more time hugging you.
One more time holding your hand.
One more time laughing with each other.
One more time laying next to you.
One more time staring into your eyes.
One more time cuddling.
One more time being goofy.
One more time with just you.

The sunset is so beautiful.
Just like you.
I can compare the two.
And it would be flawless.

The past stays the past.
There is no future with something from the past.
It didn’t work out for a reason in the past.
The past is just time folding in on itself.
So whatever you’re holding onto, just let it go.
The future will not hold your past because it already happened.
That’s why it’s a memory.
Eventually memories fade.
Just like your past.
Put it to rest.
I’ll do the same with mine.

I hope you know that I do everything for you because I care for you.
I wouldn’t lie about that to your face
My heart is very open to your needs and wants
Please don’t take advantage of me
Let me show you what’s it’s like to be free again
Let me show you what it feels like to be pain free
Let me help you let go of the past so we can begin our future
The only thing we have right now is time.

Love was the game.
I got finessed.
Followed my heart.
'Til I realized it was too late.

You were Aphrodite...
Had the stare of Medusa...
But had the power of Helios...
At night you turned into Apollo...
In rage you were Athena...
You became Hera...
So many gods and goddesses in one...
Multiple reason why no one can contain you...

I'm tired of sitting here waiting.
For the day that I become someone.
When I'm already someone.
The night time sky calls to me.
I can feel the intuition of my calling.
Something that requires more of me.
I can feel it in my SOUL.
I'll reach out for it.
Just know that I will become what I want to be.
Not what other people think/want me to be.
I'll set an adventure so high that I won't come down.
The altitude I'm heading is on a different level.
I guess this is how Famous people feel.
They strive for that excellence and greatness.
I Will do so much because I am CAPABLE.
So are you!
Follow what YOU DESIRE!!
Not what other people think is good for you.
Just be TRUE and be YOU.
The only thing that stands in the way is you.
Go forth and take point to your life.
It'll be WORTH it.
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My reality is trapped in a bottle.
I take out my glass and pour.
A shot is what I need.
Nothing more.

You don't miss them.
You miss the way they made you feel.
You miss their company.
You hate being alone.
Well I do to....
It's a lonely world out there...

Just remember when you want me.
It'll be too late.
I will have moved on.
I got tired of waiting.
When you didn't want me,
The universe had my back.
It sent me someone who did.

I was looking at old pictures.
I asked myself the important question.
"Do I miss you?"
I sat and thought about it.
Scrolling through endless pictures.
I didn't feel the need to cry.
I didn't feel my heart sputter.
I didn't get the butterflies.
I didn't get anything.
I guess it finally ended.

People say that flowers wilt faster when they aren't taken care of
The flower needs to feel the warm sunlight shine down on them
Water brings growth to the roots of that flower
Then come along weeds, or the "problem"
It grows around the plant and suffocates the life out of it
Once that **** is pulled out of the flowers existence
The flower can grow and bloom
See humans are just like flowers
We spend this amount of time developing
Getting the right amount of nutrients from our source of life
After we get older, weeds start to develop in our life
We may hold onto them for a little while not knowing their purpose
But for one moment in our life its another plant we grasp onto
Not knowing whether it can suffocate the life out of us or help us grow
We are not as gentle as flowers but we can blossom into something beautiful

No matter what the nature looks like
Its still really beautiful
The wind is damaging but also feels like freedom
The rain causes floods that are wrathful
But at the same time the rain
Feels so good against my skin
With each pitter patter it reminds
With each distinct sound that follows
Big drops little drops and small drops
All contain a way to bring life to this world
So when you ask about how I feel about you
I will tell you the same answer over and over
There's nothing that will change my mind from now until its over
I know I'm not a strong communicator but give me time
Things will change and I will learn how to be better for you
Change my mindset and set me free from this world to join yours

I can't wait til the leaves fall...
The change in color...
The atmosphere lightens...
Walking alone to mend your mind...
That nice breeze while you hear the leaves...
You can smell that faint hint of rain...