What do you do when you lose someone...
You pick yourself up...
You dust off your knees when you fall...
You wipe the tears away...
You suppress the memories...
You forget their touch...
You forget their voice...
You forget the things they loved doing...
All that stuff I said doesn’t apply...
You’re going to miss them...
You wish you could forget...
You want to move on but can’t...
You cry every night...
You miss their touch...
You miss their voice...
You miss doing the things they loved...
When you miss it’s hard to forget...

What are the cheat codes to life.
Can I get an extra man?
How many points do I need?
Can I make the leader board?
Can I be #1?
Do I get to put my initials?
Will I have a ghost?
Take my place and wipe my memory.
Claim my spot and be at the top.
You have to be good at it.
Otherwise life will always win.

Crying is what I do when I think of you...
My sunflower is no longer with me...
I need to trim my leaves and leave you in the roots...
This will help me grow and nurture myself...
Since you are no longer here to do that...
Plant your seed else where and watch it grow...
Watch how the soil will be different...
Watch how they take care of you...
I will miss watering you everyday...
I now have to watch you grow from a distance...
Bloom into that flower no one expects...
Eventually people will seek your seeds for guidance...
Help bloom other flowers...
Help wilted flowers rise again...
You are my sunflower and now I must let you go...

I stare at the sunset...
I see that haze of orange, red and yellow...
I see your figure outlined...
I see your curly hair...
I hear your laugh...
I hear your voice...
I see you walking toward me...
You disappear...
Mirages never last long...
You only see what you want...

You don't miss them.
You miss the way they made you feel.
You miss their company.
You hate being alone.
Well I do to....
It's a lonely world out there...

Maybe I did fall in love with you too fast.
Maybe I should've just stayed friends with you so this could last.
Now I'm sitting here thinking about the past.
How I knew this wasn't going to last.
Jokes on me, I'm just a loser.
Now my heart is a bruiser.
It takes hits all day.
I walked around and carried all this weight.
Just to show you that I will end up sky.
Now I'm beneath the ground.
6 feet deep.
Now I can finally sleep.
Its time to count these endless sheep.

You come at me in my sleep...
I dream what you tell me to dream...
You control my thoughts and manipulate my movement...
There are these things I hear but don't want to see...
People tell me certain things that I ignore...
I put all my effort into you and yet I feel distant...
You tell me you love me but how can I be sure...?
I go to water you and help you grow...
You reject my thoughts and mind...
We are supposed to grow and become one...
At this point I fear not commitment but time...

At times like this I wish I could fill this void.
But during times like this all I can do is think of you.
You were once my binding for my heart.
You kept everything structured.
Once you pulled the pin, everything just fell.
Back into this abyss that feeds on my pain.
It's like feeding myself poison little by little.
Expecting to build an immunity to it.
Just to turn around and find out I'm dying faster than normal.
I can't remember that last time that I actually genuinely smiled.
Believe it or not I'm actually running out of fake smiles.
I've tried shopping around for them but I couldn't find any.
I looked up how to be happy again on my browser and you popped up.
I cleared my cache and cookies in hopes of it being a joke but you were still there.
Next to the word happy.

These tears falling down my face are for you...
To not feel you in my arms causes pain more than you can imagine...
I know that you're no longer suffering from your pain...
You walked everyday, carrying that pain...
Smiling like theres no tomorrow...
You would cook, clean, dance, joke and at the end of the day relax...
I miss seeing you able to sleep on that couch in your favorite spot...
Feet kicked up and mouth open...
I miss it when you call my name...
I miss your voice.
I can still hear it through our hallways...
It echoes in my heart and soul...
I miss you dad...

You make me smile like the stars shine...
Bright...
Beautiful...
You always present yourself for me...
Shine to the fullest...
You are my star...
My everything...

I'm not happy...
I'm miserable...
I lied to people...
This shadow weighs...
Like the ****** souls...
That go into the abyss...
I'm not happy...
Its time to take a nap...
Forever...

When rain comes, I form a boundary.
These grey gloomy clouds have feelings.
Rain pours down like a never ending rain forest.
The only time I feel warmth is with your smile, your eyes, your presence, your thoughts. There is more to this list.
You overcome the thunder that is in my head.
You turn any occasion into a bright day.
Your brown honey eyes make my hands sticky.
I miss holding your emotions like they were my own.
This is supposed to make me feel better but all I can feel at this moment is pure sadness.
I will carry your burdens anywhere.
I know you didn't ask for this.
I see you.
Please...

I don't believe in love anymore.
I'm hurting and it doesn't even matter.
My soul has left my body and I feel nothing.
It went into that dark abyss.
Love is not what I thought it would be.
It chewed me up and spit me back out.
That line to hell seems a bit shorter now.
I would rather die than to be in love again.
I was a good guy.
Now I'm just a guy that feels horrible all the time.

People say that flowers wilt faster when they aren't taken care of
The flower needs to feel the warm sunlight shine down on them
Water brings growth to the roots of that flower
Then come along weeds, or the "problem"
It grows around the plant and suffocates the life out of it
Once that **** is pulled out of the flowers existence
The flower can grow and bloom
See humans are just like flowers
We spend this amount of time developing
Getting the right amount of nutrients from our source of life
After we get older, weeds start to develop in our life
We may hold onto them for a little while not knowing their purpose
But for one moment in our life its another plant we grasp onto
Not knowing whether it can suffocate the life out of us or help us grow
We are not as gentle as flowers but we can blossom into something beautiful

One tear...
I cry for you...
Two tears...
I cry because you left me...

Be carful when you walk on my path...
There are cracks that haven’t been fixed...
There are holes that need to be filled...
I’m working on it don’t worry...
I don’t want anyone to fall like I do...
Those are my mistakes and my responsibilities...
My relationship with myself will get better...
If you see me working don’t halt me...
Help me with your encouraging words...
Let me know I can do this..
If you give up on me I’ll continue to fix myself...
I’m doing this for me so I can better my life...
Please do the same with yours...

Where did I mess up at...?
When did you stop loving me...?
What caused this pain...?
Who else is there...?
Why did this happen...?
How do I fix this...?

The night sky fills with her eyes...
A sparkle here, a sparkle there...
Nothing can dismiss her light...
Her voice produces comets so bright...
You could look up all night and never get tired...
If I had a camera to capture every moment with you, I would need an eternity...
When asked about the stars at night I point towards the heavens above...
To show that you will forever be my light...during the darkest times