Come closer, I must tell you
Something before this all ends

I see a despair that dances in your eyes
A weight that burdens your shoulders

It screams through your gaze
Yet your mouth stays shut.

Let me tell you something
About this pain

Pain comes in many forms
It comes as loss and betrayal

It comes as failure and sometimes pure accident

Sometimes, pain takes the form of you

And that kind of pain
Where you have convinced yourself
That you are the source



Can ****.

Enjoy the pause and delay
The times you stare into the day
Feel the breathe that you intake
The sun rays beaming while awake

Enjoy the shade that comes from trees
Listen to the working bees
Speak softly to the flower beds
Enjoy the colors of their crowned heads

Enjoy the simple
And be present today

Be content
Embrace the delay

Hello my love, please be well
Ignore the ringing of the bell

For though I’m still in quiet sleep
I wait for you in caverns deep

I wait for you in waters warm
In the roaring of a storm

I wait for you in golden sun
In the soil in which you run

I wait for you in softest silk
In the life of a mother’s milk

I wait for you in the stars
In the glacial crystal shards

I wait for you from now till then
Till we may embrace again.

I show you the stone in my hand
Oh how it glitters and sparkles so
A priceless crystal in all the land
A trap now set that you don't know

I show you a light that shines bright as the sun
Yet behind you the darkness hides a thousand knives
How easy it is to deceive with one
When I have captured all wandering eyes

Like moths that pursue their demise
Ignorant of the rallying cries
You fools, you fools, keep staring at my hand
For in my other, the blades cut up your land

Thread by thread
One brick at a time
Look at the stones atop my head
Look and be amazed how dazzling they shine

I have witnessed the oppressed become the oppressors
And in the name of justice, sentenced thousands to die
Without remorse and void of empathy for another

I have seen the war of words
As narratives warp and definitions change
Without sympathy to push nefarious agendas

I have witnessed the world who once cried out "Never Again"
Turn their backs to those who needed it
And thus, let it happen again

I have seen it, with saddened heart
A hijacking of conversation
And the silence the oppressors wish to create

To cover the eyes of those who seek truth
And to muzzle those who speak it.

Your words feel like a warm embrace
Comforting me in this space

Like a fire, like a hearth
Keeping me grounded to this earth

You gave me light when the sun would dim
Holding my hands and numbing limbs

Thank you for the light you shared
Your extra love was always spared

Please hold me here and not let go
I'll be cold without your glow

Precious orb of tan complexion
How are you perfect beyond comprehension?

Oh to be a cat
Nestled tightly in bed

No drop of anxiety in your head
I look to you with jealous eyes

If only we could just switch sides

Do I burn the world?
Or burn my tongue?
With the sorrows that I have clung

For if I choose to keep them in
I shall surely burn within

But if I loose them on the world
To free them from me unfurled

I fear the world will burn away
So in my heart then they shall stay

Do I burn the world?
Or burn my tongue?
With this grief that I have won.

We try so desperately to find purpose on such grand scales
That we miss the fact that even the smallest details that exist
Within this reality
Are the building blocks in understanding that purpose is a system
Rather than a state of existence

"What is the Purpose of Life?" we all ask.

Why do we assume that Life has a purpose to begin with?

Well that's rather sad to think about; Life without Purpose is quiet and melancholy...

But take that as liberation rather than a bleak epiphany

Purpose is shaped by the relationship of the interaction
And love is the natural phenomenon that forms
When you accept it for what it is

Strip away what I have read
What I have seen and what I've said
Tear down the fears I have led
And all the ideologies bled

Reveal the pale and fleshy skin
Beneath the armor I am within
Scrape off the scabs of rotting sin
Unveil the fragile state I'm in

I am a reflection
And nothing more
An echo coming through the door
I am a mirror
And nothing less
I am what you say, I must confess.

To say one is a survivor implies
That they are the remainder
Who lived through unsurmountable odds
Where others did not

Survivor implies the hardship has past

But the survivor's journey does not end
Even when the ashes settle
And the bodies are counted
When the funerals are held
And grave stones are set

The survivor survives

They survive the guilt
The **** within their spirit
That haunts there conscience and steals all comfort

For the Survivor knows
They will bleed to the day they die

We have become accustomed to believe
That what we make
And create
Must follow the directions that come in the box
Or else we hate it
For being wrong

We have set a standard to our lives
That our accomplishments must fall in line
And fit perfectly into the boundaries we conjured

But there is something beautiful in chaos
When we shed the delusion for the need of order
To let go and free fall into the unknown
We finally see what can be
And the hidden potential
Is something beautiful to experience

How funny to think
That all this time

As I have scribbled words onto pages
Yearning to find a purpose
Yearning to find a person

Dreaming that when I found them
Pages and pages would be filled

With words bleeding onto the paper
And countless volumes written about us

But in reality, I was wrong
In reality, there is no room for words

For I have been living the moment
And ironically, did not think to write for awhile.

At first we try to understand
We probe around the idea
But our biases get in the way
And smudge the lenses we look through
We weigh our morality
Trying to fit it within what we believe
To be right
Eventually we hate it
And then it becomes our enemy
Because we fear
How it will change us

Look now and see your own demise
When in the past you were full with pride
Gluttonous on the spoils of accomplishment
As you consumed without fail, without end

But as all things are
Like crests and troughs
The highs always reflect the lows
And your consumption became a weight
That now drags on your legs
Like a ball and chain

Those who fly too close to the sun
Who ride on the winds of favor
Singe their wings and fall back down to earth

I write this to welcome you back to reality
To remind you that all kingdoms fall
And that your prideful gluttony has now taken its toll
Chaining you to the ground
Beneath all those you once looked down upon

What if we never died?
What if there was no such thing as a brief life?
Nor a tragic end?

Would we feel meaning in the things we do?
Or value in the loves we cherish?
If nothing ended, would anything retain its value?

Could we really live for the end of days?
And find the light as radiant as always before?

If we never feared an end to it all?
Would our experiences diminish to nothing?
Perhaps the loom of death gives a gentle push
And the grim reaper waits idly by
Watching with fervor to see our many accomplishments
As we race against his pocket watch of destiny

The ruthless will devour you
Yet you will not even know it happened
Until the jaws begin to close
And the light begins to dim
The curtain draws and the clapping ends
By the time you realize
What that ruthless man has done

It will be utterly too late

For the pieces will have been moved
The pawns all sacrificed
And the dreaded realization will set in
That you were just a spectator to the game

And not even worth being called a piece
At all

When something truly awful happens
Why does home
Feel so strange to be in?

Why does tragedy
Make us strangers
To our own beds?

Perhaps you won’t be everything that you wanted to be
Perhaps you will fall more times than you want
Perhaps she won’t love you back
Or perhaps your best will never be good enough
Perhaps you won’t get hired by your dream job
Perhaps you’ll be mediocre at what you love to do
Perhaps you’ll sweat and cry for little results
Perhaps you think these things weigh you down
And sink you to the bottom of the sea
Or perhaps
They won’t, as you refuse to stay down.

So far from what I've seen
Is that life is about ebbs and flows
Forces of all natures
Push and constrain you

And life asks you daily,
"Where will you be when I rage against you?"
"What will you be tomorrow after I beat you down today?"
"When I tear at you and rip off all that you use to shield yourself?"
"How will you respond to my punishment?"

Some are quiet
Some are mute

Yet some step forward against the current
Daring life to hit harder
And they laugh
For they know that if they withstood yesterday
Why should today be any different?

He sought revenge
On all those who wronged him
So he dug a grave for his enemies
And one for himself
For he had nothing left to lose

We revel in the hero
Who would selflessly sacrifice himself for the good of all
For that is the essence of a hero
To sacrifice the one for all
One for all and never all for one

We despise the villain
Who would selfishly sacrifice the world for one
For that is the essence of the villain
To sacrifice all for one
All for one and never one for all

But how peculiar that thinking is
For if faced with the choice to save you
The hero would sacrifice you for the world
And the villain give up the world to save you.

For in that instance, who really is the hero or villain?
Is it ever so simple to label?
How peculiar indeed.

In time, the sapling grows
And sprawls above the dirt it once trembled on.
It braved the storms and vicious winds
And raged against the surging tides of fate.
In time, the sapling grew
And it reached the apex of its existence.

Why should we be different?
When the natural cycle allows us to grow.
Shall we cower in fear of adversity?
And forestall our ascendancy to glory?

Mankind will grow like that tree
And in time we shall reach the precipice of destiny
In time, we shall become gods
And our triumphs shall rewrite reality anew.

There are people like libraries
Full of books without words on their pages
Ornate and majestic
Without anything inside

And there are people like mud huts
With fires that warm others who enter
With cracked walls and dirt floors
Who can offer you all the wisdom of modesty

There are people who show and there are people who give.

I know nothing of many things
And in that I find my solitude
Comfort in knowing that I know I do not know much
Though I tip-toe on ignorance
And sometimes fall into arrogance
I am humbled by my foolishness
And aware that I know little

It is liberating to say I do not know
As I extend my invitation to understand more
Every chance I have is to grow
Against the inching tides of complacency

Some days I fear I learned little
But at least you cannot lose what you've gained
Though you may grow stale and dull
What you have will always be there

I know nothing of many things
And I am scared but well secured
I do not falter in the face of doubt
For I will learn to overcome it.

I have a problem that I cannot shake
Caught between tectonic plates
Where I love the world
But hate the crowds
I love the people
Yet hate their traits

I have a problem I cannot hide
All alone I fight inside
It withers down my patience few
So here I boil, here I stew
I tend to hate those I detest
Though I have never met the rest

I have a problem, this is true
Where I love to live
But hate to do,
Anything with anyone
For I can't stand give attention due

I have a problem, perhaps, so do you
For we are the unfortunate few.
Those who live behind a mask
Who cling so tight upon the past
We truly are a wretched crew,
But for now we are the unfortunate few

Life may very well be about taking
But not the kind that leaves others bitter
A taking that reciprocates with giving
And one realizes that one can take it all
But give it all back
Then they will truly master the world

Do you remember the cherry tree?
How it bloomed when the cold would recede?
Can you remember? Can you see?
When spring time came and the sun was freed?

Do you remember the pink petals soft?
Or the times we walked and it waved to us in the breeze?
Matched with the blue sky and white clouds aloft.
The whispers through its arms and leaves?

Do you remember that old cherry tree?
How on rainy days it braved the storms.
In the wild it grew happy and free.
Its outstretched arms, breaking all the norms.

Do you remember when we laughed and ran?
With ***** feet and playful bliss.
I remember that old towering fan.
And those times I surely do miss.

To succeed but at what cost
Bitters the sweet bite of success
And though the long fought battle not lost
Where we are is far from the best

If you sacrifice one million men
To proudly stand upright and shout that you've won
I guarantee a few billion more would send
Many letters that they miss their loved ones

We are told we are the heroes
Defenders of peace during these times
But though your victory stands grand and tall
The foundation is built upon crimes

They say a spiteful and cynical man
Was once a man who trusted too much
He believed in a cause or personal plan
But it soon became his crutch

The golden apple that seemed so delicious
Was now a weight upon his chest
From caring he became malicious
And now no longer cared about the rest

They say a hateful and villainous man
Was once a man who loved without fail
But he was betrayed and so he ran
His heart now cold and stale

I hold in my hand a goblet
Filled to the brim in hemlock
But I hesitate to sip
For it would surely **** me
I am in a state of pinnacle truth
Of pure control
For I can end it all
Or carry on

You carry the same goblet
Filled with whatever may **** you
Sometimes you are thirsty
And yearning to drink
To find comfort in that sip
When you feel like your life
Spirals into shredded paper
Or saw dust on the floor
But you hold that goblet
You control that cup
And no matter the moment
You are in control.

Unlike the flowers in the field
Or the trees within the grove
Loneliness is the crop I yield
Surrounded by many, yet still I rove

For flowers have fields of friends
An abundance of varied bloom
Beautifully blossomed at their ends
Loved for their perfume

Trees breathe life into the air
Magnificent and tall
Capturing all the eyes that stare
And mourned for when they fall

These thoughtless trees and silent herbs
Seem to be more loved than I
Like forgotten trashed kicked to the curbs
My purpose isn't worth the cry

I feel aimless in the wind today
Like a ship without a sail
Perhaps tomorrow that feeling shall flutter away
But today, no purpose seems to avail.

Even if
You may be the faintest flower
You shall always be
Beautiful to me

Not to be too macabre
But here I am in my own head again
With the haunting realization
That if you think of the most painful
Most gruesome way
Someone has suffered
It is likely
That it has happened on this earth
Am I the only one who thinks this way?
As I sit here pondering about death?
I realize and put it into words
To think that someone out there
Right now
Is suffering the most unimaginable pain

And I feel worthless for a moment
For I can do nothing to assuage their suffering
How pitiful I feel
For I cannot help them
How miserable I am, that even if I was there
Could I help them?

Suffering is a haunting song
With tones of rhythmic chaos
Created by our own acts
Created by others actions
But here I sit, unable to do anything at all

But if we could rid the world of suffering
And never have to worry about the nameless
The helpless and hurting people
What would be willing to give up
Would we give it up?
And now I wonder what is more wretched
That people suffer and I can do nothing
Or the question of if we could stop suffering
And give up all we had
In totale
Would we?

He cared so much it consumed him
Moderation was not in his creed
He sacrificed his soul and limb
To attain the goal to forever be freed

He cared so much it killed him
So much so he became a wretch
A villain in the story
Fixated on the stretch

He cared so much to help the world
But in the end he was seduced
Addicted to his plan unfurled
To a scoundrel he was reduced.

There's something inside of me
And I'm afraid of what I see
It matters not how it came to be
For I am here, For I am me

I cannot turn away from its glare
It's piercing eyes and slanted stare
I look inside my sins laid bare
These muted lies I dare not share

The broken glass of a shattered soul
A gaping void and endless hole
I sit awake at night, as the weight takes its toll
Searing pains like scorched coal

A wasteland sprawls across my war torn heart
Where no mans land has torn apart
And wiped away the canvas art
No longer sweet but bitter and ****

I see something inside of me
And it's too hard to admit you see
For when I turn away to break free
I see a world as bleak as me

Until we feel the softest rains
And sand between our toes
Till we see our breath on morning days
Or taste the wind that gently blows

Until we smell the earthy dew
Or feel the pebbles in our grasp
Till the lightning flashes through
Till the leaves all fall at last

Until the sparrow sings its final song
Or the wisteria finally blooms
Until we face the moon for long
We shall be fearful of what looms

We tend to think
That living forever
Would be a curse
But then I ask
What is heaven?

Perhaps it isn't the time
That makes it worthwhile
But the people
We spend it with

You can feel a tear welling up inside you
A pressure behind your eyes
And you know
Your eyesight blurs and your nose starts to run
And you try to hold those tears back

It's a beautiful thing to cry
To mourn
To sob quietly within
Because your mind is not in control
Your soul takes the reigns
And tears start to roll

Pure emotions start to flow
And for an instant
You are you
For an instant you realize
How much you cared
Cared enough to cry

Crying is something we tend
To be embarrassed by
But I think crying,
Releases your inner you
And it shows how overcome
A spirit can be