it starts with such innocence
the roles of nurse/mother/babysitter
always have i slipped
into far too easily

it starts with a drunk man
a hurt man
a problem child
with giant man-child problems

it starts with a text
‘can we talk I’m lonely?’
‘can we talk I’m concussed?’
‘can we talk I need comfort?’

it starts with my answer.
‘sure let us talk and walk.’
‘awe don’t go to sleep.’
‘yeah I’ll be right there.’

it starts with small talk
small talk moves inside
inside moves upstairs
upstairs moves to a bed

it starts with sleep
simple chaste sleep
back to back sleep
under separate sheets
sleep

it starts with a roll
“you’re comfortable”
"you calm me down"
wrap me in strong, gorgeous arms

it starts with arms
arms and legs and faces
all tangled up and groggy
groggy with sleep and alcohol

it starts with awake
I am now awake
man-child kissing my face
still wrapped in his arms

it starts with surrender
surrender and melting
melting into man-child
all his beautiful problems mine

it starts with passion
sculpted chest heaving
hearts racing
lips and hands groping

it starts with leaving
now sober and guilty
satisfied and exhausted
handsome still

it ends with alone

Alone.
That's what it is
I feel so alone
sitting here

Doesn't matter how nice they are
or how handsome
I just end up here
in a state of solitude
emotionally drained

a vast empty
void of anything that resembles
the gregarious, gorgeous girl
of last night

but isn't this really me?
empty
empty and alone