Just hit rock bottom
Writer's Block
Irony
Wounds closed; about to reopen
No one understands the plea
Talk to me
Help

Solitary mornings along the maple avenue
Outer colors change , and so do I
Ground squirrels play a game of chance
with hawks at treetop level , the pious
hold their cards and bet the bank on forever
Acorns fall then roll down the concrete sidewalk ,
fully expecting to land in dirt
In tune with the Sparrows that seem to go out
of their way to maintain a secure distance from the
other birds
Gray sky refusing to rain , a smile concealing pain
Tiny mansions all look the same
Metropolitan moths circling the morning flame* ...

The rain pours and the thunder roars.
It's comforting, it's the sound of solitude
Despite the headlights rolling by
And the lampposts shining brightly orange.
Rain splashes gently, hitting the ground,
And there's no other sound I want to hear,
So I drown everything else out.
In silence and shadow I excel.
Retreating to the alleyway, narrow and foreboding,
Its harrowing nature is a sanctuary for my own self.
I become the darkness that surrounds me,
The nothingness, the non-existent threat.
I hear the sound of heels clicking on pavement,
Gentle splashes where shoe meets water,
Not too far off in the distance,
But it takes me only an instant to let the predator take over my mind.
Steadily paced, the footsteps grow louder;
The pheromones so strong that it's almost a taste.
I wait, breath bated, for the moment to arrive.
The gap between here and slaking the thirst feels too wide,
Like the pupils of my eyes, dilated,
And I'm overdosing on oxytocin when finally I strike.
Pulling the warm body into the claustrophobic alley,
The blackness engulfs us both.
We are nothing.
Nothing exists except for her heartbeat, thumping and drumming
Until it...fades.

I'm carelessly controlling my life
Or to my knowledge at least
I wish my will was free
So I could have an out for all my discrepancies
But that would mean I would have to believe
In you, and I don't want to
Cause your not real
Or so you say
Which I know is a lie
You prove it to many everyday

I am what I can see
I am what i can feel
I am the one in pain
It's my life you you had to steal
Knocking off hours, days, years
For short doses with no fear
I am in control
I control me
That’s what both you and I want me to believe
But only one of us knows the truth
Of how much you choose to control
How much of you power you abuse

I'm losing my functional being
My soul supreme
That light burning so bright in me
Fades
But what makes it dissipate
I'm losing touch with my creator
To my people I'm a traitor
Cause I have this beautiful soul
Handpicked
Has been in Kings
Has forever stayed lit
That is until they chose me
Hoping I'd be another King
But I live in despair
Unaware
Of the path that was set up for me
But I am aware I'm just weak
I see the righteous road and run
To live with the the ****
Who's souls are new
And more susceptible to abuse
Maybe one day I will burn
With all of my potential
But that day is not today
Maybe tomorrow
I won't let my glorious soul fade away

You know you've ****** up;

*When you cry over happy songs.