the writer in me,
is just as bad,
as me.

i had so much to say,
but your voice caught my words,
hid them,
before i had the chance,
to let them out.

it hurts how you don't even count me,
as someone you had,
or as someone who had you.

i do not miss you,
i just miss who i was,
with you.

but no one once,
had what they lacked,
and for me,
that was love.

you broke me,
i broke you,
guess we're even.

i lost all senses,
can someone please,
tell me how i should feel.

she's everything i'm not,
while that doesn't mean,
i'm any less than her,
then why does it feel,
so much like it.

you were my all mid chaos,
i held onto everything,
because i had you.

and yet i wonder,
are you too toxic,
or am i.

everytime i think i am over you,
everytime i think i have my closure,
i go through the heartbreak all over again.

your rejection,
cut through my heart,
like a sword.

i don't mind what you said,
just the wording,
could've been better.

you called her your soulmate,
wasn't i yours,
or do souls,
change too.

we will never go back,
to how it was before,
right?

i miss talking to you about my day,
and hearing about yours.

in all honesty,
she's prettier,
bolder,
better,
than any version of me will ever be.

waiting for the day,
i write about how,
i do not miss you anymore,
that day is getting closer,
than we both think.

enough with puzzles,
if you feel what i feel,
please let me know.

if you do not,
let me know,
i promise i would understand.

tell me,
what we are,
i am losing my mind.

we fell in love,
i am still there,
are you?

little update,
for my heart,
if it is still there,
i finally got bored,
of reading our old chats.

the way you call,
to see if i still get jealous,
to see if i still like you,
then run to someone else,
breaks what was once,
my heart.

i'm trying to move on,
from the fear,
of never talking to you again.

you called,
but i don't feel anything,
anymore.

waiting for the day,
i wake up and get tired,
of reading our chats.

thank you,
for giving me closure,
not one i deserved,
but the agony woke me up,
from dreams of us,
or what could've been us.

when a heart beats for love,
the mouth will never tell,
them three words.

i want to leave you,
but my heart has held onto you,
for its dear life.

honesty,
is all there is,
to solve,
the lie of a relationship we had.

i hate how,
i keep checking my phone,
waiting for a call,
i know i won't get.

i do not miss you,
i just suffocate,
every minute,
without you.

if you are unsure about me,
tell me,
please.

empty words,
empty promises,
empty excuses,
is all you give me.

if you listen closely,
every word i utter,
screams i love you,
loud and clear.

but you never listen,
you never did,
you never will.

i miss your voice.

i am terrified at the thought,
of losing you,
but listen.

when i get a text from you,
my heart inaugurates once again,
every single time.

when you said you loved me,
i did not know how,
to say i have loved you for longer.

i just hope,
you're not just playing,
because a heartbreak is much worse than a loss.

i hate how weak i get,
when you're around.

maybe
just maybe,
if i said i loved you too that day,
things would've turned out different.

you confuse me,
you confuse my heart,
you confuse all there is to me.

somewhere along the lines,
of you knowing i like you,
and me knowing you like me,
we lost a couple of unsaid words.

when i see you,
my heart goes places,
yet i don't know,
how to act around you,
for you turn cold,
all of a sudden.

i just need a sign,
a hint or a word,
confirming or denying,
your feelings,
for my heart,
cannot take it any longer.

my silence is killing me,
but i have to know,
how far you're willing to go,
for me,
and it appears to me,
bright and clear,
you'd do nothing.

and just like that,
we stopped talking,
as if nothing has happened,
between what was once,
us.

your eyes,
make me want to stay,
forever.

they speak to me,
in a language i understand,
do you feel it too?

what broke me,
wasn't you,
it was me,
all along.