i do not miss you,
i just miss who i was,
with you.

each time i ask,
you say you never forgot about me,
yet you act like you did.

i had so much to say,
but your voice caught my words,
hid them,
before i had the chance,
to let them out.

i lost all senses,
can someone please,
tell me how i should feel.

you have been quiet lately,
and i just hope you're happy.

drowning in self loathe i am,
doing things i regret daily,
losing my peace by piece.

you called her your soulmate,
wasn't i yours,
or do souls,
change too.

you were my all mid chaos,
i held onto everything,
because i had you.

and yet i wonder,
are you too toxic,
or am i.

but no one once,
had what they lacked,
and for me,
that was love.

you broke me,
i broke you,
guess we're even.

everytime i think i am over you,
everytime i think i have my closure,
i go through the heartbreak all over again.

in all honesty,
she's prettier,
bolder,
better,
than any version of me will ever be.

i miss talking to you about my day,
and hearing about yours.

we will never go back,
to how it was before,
right?

your rejection,
cut through my heart,
like a sword.

i don't mind what you said,
just the wording,
could've been better.

waiting for the day,
i wake up and get tired,
of reading our chats.

the way you call,
to see if i still get jealous,
to see if i still like you,
then run to someone else,
breaks what was once,
my heart.

waiting for the day,
i write about how,
i do not miss you anymore,
that day is getting closer,
than we both think.

enough with puzzles,
if you feel what i feel,
please let me know.

if you do not,
let me know,
i promise i would understand.

tell me,
what we are,
i am losing my mind.

honesty,
is all there is,
to solve,
the lie of a relationship we had.

little update,
for my heart,
if it is still there,
i finally got bored,
of reading our old chats.

we fell in love,
i am still there,
are you?

thank you,
for giving me closure,
not one i deserved,
but the agony woke me up,
from dreams of us,
or what could've been us.

you called,
but i don't feel anything,
anymore.

i'm trying to move on,
from the fear,
of never talking to you again.

i want to leave you,
but my heart has held onto you,
for its dear life.

if you listen closely,
every word i utter,
screams i love you,
loud and clear.

but you never listen,
you never did,
you never will.

my silence is killing me,
but i have to know,
how far you're willing to go,
for me,
and it appears to me,
bright and clear,
you'd do nothing.

when a heart beats for love,
the mouth will never tell,
them three words.

i am terrified at the thought,
of losing you,
but listen.

when i get a text from you,
my heart inaugurates once again,
every single time.

when you said you loved me,
i did not know how,
to say i have loved you for longer.

i just hope,
you're not just playing,
because a heartbreak is much worse than a loss.

two days before my birthday,
that time,
my soul returned back to my soulless body.

reading over the words,
i could not believe,
my heart started beating fast.

unable to form words,
i ruined it all,
once again.

i hate how,
i keep checking my phone,
waiting for a call,
i know i won't get.

i do not miss you,
i just suffocate,
every minute,
without you.

i miss your voice.

empty words,
empty promises,
empty excuses,
is all you give me.

maybe
just maybe,
if i said i loved you too that day,
things would've turned out different.

when i see you,
my heart goes places,
yet i don't know,
how to act around you,
for you turn cold,
all of a sudden.

i hate how weak i get,
when you're around.

somewhere along the lines,
of you knowing i like you,
and me knowing you like me,
we lost a couple of unsaid words.

you confuse me,
you confuse my heart,
you confuse all there is to me.

lost count of words,
i haven't told you yet,
for you do not listen.

i just need a sign,
a hint or a word,
confirming or denying,
your feelings,
for my heart,
cannot take it any longer.

if you are unsure about me,
tell me,
please.

your eyes,
make me want to stay,
forever.

they speak to me,
in a language i understand,
do you feel it too?

my issues with myself,
are more each day,
maybe it is a good thing,
you're away.

what broke me,
wasn't you,
it was me,
all along.