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 Dec 2013 Monique Olivier
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I have been trying to think of ways to say 'I love you' on paper
without writing outside the lines.
There is much more to the way the blinds paint sunlight on your body
than beat up notebooks and chewed up pencils.
I make a lot of mistakes,
the kind that rubber only smears but doesn't erase.
I didn't mean to crumple your delicate skin like paper.
I know that paper comes from trees,
yet all the poems that make me think of you do nothing
to help me breathe, and your touch only proves
that my breath is easier to take away than you'd like to believe.
Forgive me for being comprised almost entirely of errors and mistakes and strikethroughs with red pens,
While you are so clean and refined.
I think of you in cursive.
Take my trembling wrists in your strong fingers
and guide me with a steady and patient hand.
Teach me to love you in bold print and I will underline it three times,
and again,
and again,
and again.
In my head, you are a million brainstorms thrown into waste buckets,
and if for some strange reason Helvetica is the only way to make you almost understand my thoughts,
then I am typing furiously and waiting for you to see them all.
All I ever wanted was to fill the doubles spaces between your fingers with my own,
even though sometimes you wish you could
backspace the words you didn't mean to say to me
while I pretend I don't remember them.
I have been trying to think of ways to say 'I love you' on paper
without writing outside the lines.
Then I ripped up the paper, scribbled it on a napkin,
and wiped the blood off my face with it instead.
A smile on her face
But tears in her eyes.
She wakes up every morning,
Hoping to die.
Kneeling on the floor;
Head raised to the sky.
Praying to God,
And asking Him why.
“Why am I here?
When can I leave?’
Remembering the days;
She used to believe.
Cracks show
On her porcelain façade.
She plays her part well,
But some days it’s hard
To put on a smile
And act like she’s fine.
Walks around laughing
As she tries not to cry.
Home from school,
Rocking under blankets
Eyes clenched shut.
Waiting for a day,
Where they’ll let her give up.
Day after day,
With her broken pride,
Her heart is still beating
But she isn't alive.
They’ll be a day
When her eyes won’t open
No cries heard
No words spoken;
Her act will end
The curtain will fall.
Frail and broken she’s given her all,
And as her life
Slowly goes
Her mournful story
Comes to a close.
They couldn't save her.
What went wrong?
Now it’s too late.
Her life is gone.
Your art is the footprint you leave
On the snowy path to self discovery
Those beautiful, empty eyes.
They pierce the smoky haze,
staring into me.
Through me.
They see me
but with the intensity and knowing of a
blind man.
That anger, rage, and challenge in the eyes of my
beloved.
You are he, but he is not you.
My love,
you dismiss the world,
yet you cannot.
It has left its mark upon you.
A cruel paradox.
Seen.
Discovered.
Beauty captured
but in a moment gone.
Come to me.  
Let my hand upon your face
restore the warmth into those
cold, foreign eyes.
Who is this spirit that embodies you,
who imprisons my heart?
Cast it away.
Look upon me, beloved.
Let me find favor in your eyes.
There is no rage there.
You challenge me
to explore the depths of your love
and nothing more.
It is you who sees me.
 Dec 2013 Monique Olivier
mia
I lay alone in bed
Thinking of everything you said
And it makes me so sick
That you gave up that quick

Fell for someone who
Doesn't think things through
Now I'm paying for it
With my silver, I slit
My skin in two
Just like when you
Grabbed the sharp knife
And ended my life

My heart is broken
But the lust is still there
I hate you so much
But I love you and care
About you and your health
Your disgusting self
You kept me so strong
For so **** long
It just hurts that you moved on
It feels so wrong
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