I watched her smoke her cigarettes,
Outside her bedroom window;
All day long.
Morning, noon and night.
Her records spinning,
Projected the sound of,
The Smiths, The Doors, The Beatles.
She never left that room,
Until one day.
That last day.
I never saw her since.
Remind me of my past.
Sometimes, when I'm alone sit down
and view every scar on my skin.
This was caused by a kid in high school
this was because of my parents
and this was for when you didn't love me back.
They're still there.
Forever I will be reminded that you was here and what I went through.
Yes, I made them myself.
And unlike the majority of regret,
in those moments everything felt right.
I'm not in it for the upset, or to create regret.
But just to get it done. I was going to do it. I needed it.
As I was lying there
on the empty mattress
that had been wandering lonely
in the middle of the room,
the phone rang.
In a matter of seconds
my dreams had been crushed
and I mean crushed
dropped from three thousand ft and trampled on
by people who couldn't care less
those ******* heels ripping the holes into my dreams.
''you'll never be good enough.
you're never going to make it.
you're wasting your time.
are you really that stupid to think you're going to be a star?''
The words that escaped his mouth
repeatedly hummed through my mind.
those words were ingrained in my memory.
I wouldn't allow it to become a reality.
I had lost my mind that night.
and all I did was sing.
Nobody can ever take away my dreams.
All those feelings you read about
have hit me all at once
and I feel emotionally, mentally and physically drained.
Being home helps some, but does not
fill the void left in my heart
or the loneliness when I walk in the door.
Tears flow without reason, smiles are hard to come by,
and love will be lost for what I am sure will feel like eternity.
I have never been a perfect lover,
way too many faults
but I have always tried to be the best I could be
I am afraid my well is dry.
I am broken, and there is no quick fix to mend my heart.
I lay alone in bed
Thinking of everything you said
And it makes me so sick
That you gave up that quick
Fell for someone who
Doesn't think things through
Now I'm paying for it
With my silver, I slit
My skin in two
Just like when you
Grabbed the sharp knife
And ended my life
My heart is broken
But the lust is still there
I hate you so much
But I love you and care
About you and your health
Your disgusting self
You kept me so strong
For so **** long
It just hurts that you moved on
It feels so wrong
My bambi baby
My adorable honey
I love the way you kiss me
I love you, don't you see?
Your eyes are so lovely
Your words are so tender
Don't let me go, please don't surrender.
You say I'm infatuated
But it's much more complicated
These feelings I get
Aren't normal I bet
It's not infatuation
If when there is no communication
Between us two
I thinking about nothing but you
Not only is it that
But without you I feel fat
I feel worthless and poor
Like you're the only cure
I watch the blood pour
From my limbs to the floor
And if you're saying I'm infatuated
Then explain why it's so complicated