In this moment
Pleading
To be held in your arms
In your loving arms
To feel connected once again
Please
Scoop me up
Wrap me in all of you
Hold my hand and drag me around this country
Let me breathe in the warm dust that your shoes pick up as you stomp around these desert trails
Any shimmer of your sparkle
Give it to me
Put it in my pocket
For me to collect and to keep
Exist in my presence
I’m sick of these wispy memories
Like stop motion flipping in my mind
I’m trying to be grateful
I’m trying to be okay
With all this space you’ve given you and me
With all this silence for me to sit in
But god do I miss the sureness in your eyes
The validation that my soul has been touched, has been seen
Won’t settle for this being brief
Give me everything
Or nothing more than nothing
Indulge me, envelop me, bathe me
Or leave me be
I am boundless for your love

Stop dancing around the fire
It still licks and burns all the same
Your exhausted breath
Breathes oxygen into it

Why stoke the flame with hope
Why coddle the slowing flame

Take a handful of ash
Rub it on your body
Feel the earth between your toes
Scatter the ash upon your heart
And coddle the tender roots that surely will emerge

I am enamored
My ears ride the melodious arc
Pleased by your voice
Deep. Emotive.
The Fluency galvanizing
Feels like spring inside my ribs
Unearthing a knowledge
My tongue is too new to know
An invoking of my body’s roots
Unsettled in the constraints of present knowing
A deep desire to remember
A deep desire for new words
New music pouring out of my mouth
New sounds filling up my spaces
What a symphony I imagine it to be

I am just a being
Made of galaxies
And endless wonder
I am just a soul
Curious as is thee

I have just a body
That is wildly desirous
You say I’m a girl
Put a box around me

You don’t poke holes
Just write “fragile”
And put me in a corner
What is this
Let me out
Let me breathe

Let me think
Let me speak
Let me see without
Peripheral control
Let me learn
Let me grow
Let me be

Let me unbuckle my corset
Let my belly hang free
Let me ****
Let me laugh
Let me ******* believe
In a world that is cutting my wings
That there’s another out there for me
Let me free

What does wild mean
To the westerner
Perhaps
Freedom
As the rolling hills of golden grass and sunflowers
Carry you too by horse, foot, or car
Expansive to the horizon
A mind is only left to wander
To the edges of these panoramic views
To roam with the cows
To live a day naturally
Alongside Her
To feel a sure knowing
Among the setting sun that fades along the mountain ridges
To belong
Alongside Her

the sun peeks out from behind the clouds
as you shuffle down the same path trodden yesterday
wilted snow-covered grass lies flat
imprinted with lines from your heavy step
uneven footsteps trail
from your unsteady gait

sunlight shimmers on freshly melted dew-droplets
scattered on every blade
reflecting the days’ initial promises of spring
the beauty of the day
just out of focus

as you reach the edge of the path
where the sunlight glares off the frozen pond
and hits you in the eyes unkindly
you wipe the slush from your boots
and gaze across the white landscape

you trudge along
toward the line of old pine trees
with plans to reminisce
in solitude
I suppose

the ice crunches under your heavy step and you look down numbly
observing the cracks

the wind picks up
sweeping across the pond and gently presses against your chest
whispering resistance
you look ahead and see the trees, promising solitary release
and you lean into the challenge

the cracks stretch further
each time you
stumble on the thin ice
the wind howls through the trees ahead
and a girl’s voice echoes softly in the distance

Dad

crack
you trudge on
motivated by the burning in your belly
and the ringing in your ears
your fist grips your only friend
and the trees whisper their welcome

Crack

the girls voice lingers on the wind

Dad

crack
your favorite spot is so near now
crack
the ice begins to split
and you shuffle quickly
fear quickening your step
Spring
warning against your predictability  

one big leap and you’ll be at the tree line
you hear a girls sharp cry in the distance
and turn to look
and as you rub your weary eyes at the sight
the girl sharply disappears
gone

glass shatters at your feet
cracking the ice under you

Solitude

I see you
Messenger all around
A bodiless form
Limitless to culture and time
fluent In the universal language  
Shout your glorious truth from the rooftops
And let your message fall like raindrops
Over a busy city
Intimately Leaving a mark on those who choose to look up
Whispering the secret to the way through
You are the silent divine
And you shine all around me