I feel the glare of the morning sun on my face and peel my eyes open
I stare right into the sun,
knowing she means best while my eyes adjust to the light

i started feeling uncomfortable in this skin a long time ago
itching for something bigger
i felt myself growing in so many ways
growing away from you
growing toward myself
I was so comfortable in this cocoon you helped me build around myself

i felt cozy being held so tightly
like nothing could hurt me
nothing could change
as long as i was tightly woven underneath your arms

but my wings had begun to grow
and for some time
I felt confined to the small space of our love
I knew that i wanted more for myself

bit by bit
i shed this old skin
caught a gust of fresh spring air
let my wings stretch out a little more
took a deep breath
And allowed the crisp fragrance of change
to fill my comfortable chamber

With the changing winds
Fear seeped from my being
and filled all the spaces around me
and made it hard to move
Hard to breathe
This can’t be right
painful growing pains
push through the sticky bits
plant a foot
stretch those wings
break open the chrysalis

That warm morning sun hit my cheeks
And
Fear evaporated from my skin
Chills ran down my spine
Resilience settled into my bones
And
I saw the sun peeking up from its resting place
Greeting me with a gentle reminder
That even she must go into darkness to be born again

I begin to feel wrapped in a warm tug
cradled in the soft caress of light
That I have manifested for myself
I have manifested for myself.

So I’m
steadying now
And
studying how
To be
In This freedom that lifts me into weightlessness
I feel stronger each day that I wake up on my own
And get to peer at the morning view
And Bask in the beauty of change

Prune my feathers
Grease my wings
Get rid of the soft down of scared old me
The winds are picking up now
And the horizon is calling my name

I was out at sea
For years
In an endless storm
That rocked my boat
Day in and day out
Too afraid to abandon ship
Paralyzed by the idea
That the captain must go down with his

Looking out at the choppy water
I decided to jump
And swim
In hopes of finding land
Desperate
To stand on solid ground again

I swam and I swam
And in the dark
While the sky fell to meet the waves
I saw something
A glimmer
A spark of hope On the horizon
A strong and steady beacon
Calling me to come home
To me

Days passed
And I persisted
Fighting the current in my head
That threatened to drag me further out to sea
A beam of bright white light catching my eye between every single wave
steadily reminding me of my own strength
My ability to ride the waves of uncertainty
And a call to follow my mortal desire for peace

So I stopped fighting so **** hard
And The waves still crashed around me
Pushing me in a new direction
As if the moon was on my side

I noticed how The sea foam cradled around me
And felt the rain slow
And noticed the light become brighter - closer

exhausted from the journey
I closed my eyes and floated on the slowing tide
Beginning to Trust the current of my life

I woke up this morning
Lying on solid ground
The waves barely grazing my feet
I could feel sand On my skin
And My face warm from the morning sun
I rolled to one side and cradled my naked body - in a doubtful haze
I grabbed the earth and clenched it in my hands
And began to weep

The sand endlessly welcomed my tears
And shifted to cradle my hollow form
The warm breeze gently reminding me
Of the changing season of my life

I looked up after a while
Realizing the beauty of my solace
The quiet of my breath
A heartbeat slow in my chest

My teary eyes began to focus
And just over the sand dunes
A lighthouse stood unwavering

Giver of light
My guide in the night
Calm washed over me
And peace settled into my bones

That afternoon I let my body rest
And gazed at the sky For some time
Re-discovering the sun and her piercing light
Letting her flood every corner of my being

there she was
In all her glory
There she’s been
All along
Sitting just behind the clouds
in my mind

She fills me with light and
Connects me with the truth of all that I am
That I am home
Now and always

Music and movement
Set my soul free
This is how I rejoice to the universe
And the god in you and me
Flowing to the same energy
Vibrating at the same frequency
Of Us . We .

Please
Take in my aching heart
And listen to all these voices in my head
Stick out my tongue?
Ok... I trust you...?
Take this and get some rest...
but...
It’s alright, see you in a month or two.
But...

There is sap inside my grandma’s mind
that steals her away every passing day
And she stuck out her tongue and did as she’s told
and blames it all on getting too old
And my friend hung up her sorrows
on a tree branch in the winter
taking her body from that tree
gave her whole family too many splinters
For Medicine to cure

Why is there no cure
for anxiety, depression, Alzheimer’s, ptsd
Minds taking lives that want to be set free
why is the mind so misunderstood
The intricacies of anatomy are well explored
but shadows cast on
the workings of the brain are elusive
Our medicine needs soul

It needs to look deeper
Into the abyss that is mental disorders
This mind-hijacking crisis is taking over
Leaving bodies left and right
Without souls
Making people get creative
with their diy ways to ******* die

What’s the body without the mind
What’s the beating heart that’s lost it’s soul
touch the elusive woven fabric
which brings to life each body being treated
Stop treating outside in
and look a little ******* further within

Your patient whom you’ve got no patience for
They’re asking you for something more
Than a ******* bandaid
Leaving each person without a clue
And you’re surprised when they end up shooting away their blues.

Give me the horizon
Until the sun’s orange glow is dripping from my lips
I want to feel adventure running through my blood
Pumping pure light out of my chest

I want to feel so alive I’m out of breath
knock me off my feet
And send me tumbling softly down a green hillside
Right into a huge rain puddle
to soak in the fresh water of the heavens
As it sends silky streams down to meet the Earth
In a beautiful downpour of life
I look up at the heavens pouring her soul out onto my cheeks
While I ******* smile
At the glorious experience of it all
The heart racing adventure of exploration

Excitement
Newness
Discovery
Breath
Light
Happiness
­
I want to feel
The ******* ****** of happiness
That comes from living so lushly
Freely
Deeply

I want every one of my cells to vibrate in the universe’s glorious stride
Until I’m filled with wonder
And my soul seeps out of my fingertips like glitter floating in space

Blow my ******* mind with the power of life
The potence of laughter
Flooding my body
Freeing the tangle of my mind
Set my soul free

I want to gasp for air
In the wilderness
Drench me in oxygen
Give me life
Shift my soul
As I soak in the magnificence of it all