Belting hot breath into cold atmosphere
Where still molecules grasp in delight at my warm wet offering
Ecstatic in its heat and vibrating wavelength
Attempted vibrato
Soft winter hues vibrant under a thin sheet of frost
Timid in their pause or perhaps effervescent vibrant just unnoticed
Lending inspiration to my animalistic undying expression
Magnetizing the door of inspiration slamming open
Whooshing out
Up and out up and out
Effervescent bubbles surface to my skin
Pop pop popping
Hair standing on end
Tingles from cervical spine to elbows to ribs
Racing roots down my bones fast and satisfying
Goosebumps and ******* unable to soften
Sharp. Cold. Bold. ******. Blissful. Loud baby
LOUD
Winter purple hues
Against pale sky and pale evergreens
Heat in my heart
Stoked by the fire of winter
Subtlety offering expression and visibility up to me

Surrounded by Spanish moss and cypress knees
Ripples filled with sun
Cold water that I don’t mind

I want to float blue flowers on the surface of the water
Plucking stem from armful bounty that I’ve humbly been gifted
The heavens choosing a blue so deep and so true
Like the color of the ocean when you’ve gone out too far
I want to let the water hold my love for you
A wake of buoyant violet teacups
Filling the surface delicately
Tastefully
Truly

Catch my gaze
For a moment long enough
the love I hold for you surely apparent in my smiling eyes
Teary, surely, and heart filled

This lasting love pure as clear aquifer filling and pushing current forward
Boundless as waters without borders
Cycling and crisping with movement through ecosystems, through time
And while I grieve our eyes not holding each other
While I grieve yours not falling on mine to rest
I’ve got nothing but armfuls of blue flowers
To float around you
As you paddle on

Viscous and tender
These moments around 9pm
Upside down and gazing
Feet like a rowdy symphony
All moving in raucous allyship
I simmer in the delicate effervescence
Teeming vines thrilled and dancing
Swimming through viscosity
Thickness perhaps birthing from relief
Oneness poured on hands cupped
Oneness, soupy with depths as rich as each commits to be changed
Devotional maillard reactions
Steam and aroma and fond and breath and hum
Seasoned bounty poured, glazed, caked, sprinkled, contained, admired, held, extracted, celebrated, loudly slurped
the rah crescendos, ebbs and flows surely settling as the hours pass
Doors open and close part way
Grateful glances bid adieu
Oneness composted little by little
I’ll meet you again, perhaps anew and teeming with new spirit
Until next Thursday

i feel so held in the cradle of the canyon
the dips in the earth
the way she swells and wants my eyes to know it
the way she bathes my breath
in tiny ice crystals
as i stare
frosty-eyed, at her
dusted in snow

it all is a caress -
soft as sheets
floating, fluttering, onto skin
as lover makes the bed around you

her voice softens
to a whisper of pine needles in wind
as cold dampens, assuages, sound
every cell is called to calm
drawn to a hush
i think i can close my eyes and rest here
i think i can open my ribcage to more breath

sweet and crisp inspiration
hushed sip
i think i can soften into the blankets laid out for me under these trees
a sensational winter picnic
a cordial invitation
from earth and saraswati

Let me disarm you
Let me flood your senses
With the sureness of my desire
Pulling the stars of ecstasy
Down to earth to meet your body
Sipping the freshest water from the heavens
A dense fog draped over this city now
Drizzly
Cold
******* hard
Body shaking with anticipation
Tender lust
Damp desire
Warmth on your breath from your sweet promises
Fumbling
Tumbling
There is a velvet purple cherry on your lips
A confident swing in your hips
A ***** glimmer in your magnetic gaze
****
My jaw clenched
The room unmistakably quiets when we kiss
Tender sureness
A deep untethered momentum
Drags us along

You pull
Like a magnet
Backward
On the webbing of my mind

Drawing me through time and space
Reverting
Away from here
A metaphysical delusion

An ache in my belly
A catch on my breath
as you pull on the threads that make this moment

And all I can do
Is lean forward
And let it stretch

Lean into now
Here
What is
Me and My life
Now

I lean into what I can
I try
To run
And swim
And laugh
And cry
And not get pulled
Backward
Into you

I lean in
I love
I breathe
I take in this beautiful world

I feel you pull
Sometimes
But mostly
I lean forward
And feel myself
Moving on

In this moment
Pleading
To be held in your arms
In your loving arms
To feel connected once again
Please
Scoop me up
Wrap me in all of you
Hold my hand and drag me around this country
Let me breathe in the warm dust that your shoes pick up as you stomp around these desert trails
Any shimmer of your sparkle
Give it to me
Put it in my pocket
For me to collect and to keep
Exist in my presence
I’m sick of these wispy memories
Like stop motion flipping in my mind
I’m trying to be grateful
I’m trying to be okay
With all this space you’ve given you and me
With all this silence for me to sit in
But god do I miss the sureness in your eyes
The validation that my soul has been touched, has been seen
Won’t settle for this being brief
Give me everything
Or nothing more than nothing
Indulge me, envelop me, bathe me
Or leave me be
I am boundless for your love

Stop dancing around the fire
It still licks and burns all the same
Your exhausted breath
Breathes oxygen into it

Why stoke the flame with hope
Why coddle the slowing flame

Take a handful of ash
Rub it on your body
Feel the earth between your toes
Scatter the ash upon your heart
And coddle the tender roots that surely will emerge

I am enamored
My ears ride the melodious arc
Pleased by your voice
Deep. Emotive.
The Fluency galvanizing
Feels like spring inside my ribs
Unearthing a knowledge
My tongue is too new to know
An invoking of my body’s roots
Unsettled in the constraints of present knowing
A deep desire to remember
A deep desire for new words
New music pouring out of my mouth
New sounds filling up my spaces
What a symphony I imagine it to be

I am just a being
Made of galaxies
And endless wonder
I am just a soul
Curious as is thee

I have just a body
That is wildly desirous
You say I’m a girl
Put a box around me

You don’t poke holes
Just write “fragile”
And put me in a corner
What is this
Let me out
Let me breathe

Let me think
Let me speak
Let me see without
Peripheral control
Let me learn
Let me grow
Let me be

Let me unbuckle my corset
Let my belly hang free
Let me ****
Let me laugh
Let me ******* believe
In a world that is cutting my wings
That there’s another out there for me
Let me free

What does wild mean
To the westerner
Perhaps
Freedom
As the rolling hills of golden grass and sunflowers
Carry you too by horse, foot, or car
Expansive to the horizon
A mind is only left to wander
To the edges of these panoramic views
To roam with the cows
To live a day naturally
Alongside Her
To feel a sure knowing
Among the setting sun that fades along the mountain ridges
To belong
Alongside Her

the sun peeks out from behind the clouds
as you shuffle down the same path trodden yesterday
wilted snow-covered grass lies flat
imprinted with lines from your heavy step
uneven footsteps trail
from your unsteady gait

sunlight shimmers on freshly melted dew-droplets
scattered on every blade
reflecting the days’ initial promises of spring
the beauty of the day
just out of focus

as you reach the edge of the path
where the sunlight glares off the frozen pond
and hits you in the eyes unkindly
you wipe the slush from your boots
and gaze across the white landscape

you trudge along
toward the line of old pine trees
with plans to reminisce
in solitude
I suppose

the ice crunches under your heavy step and you look down numbly
observing the cracks

the wind picks up
sweeping across the pond and gently presses against your chest
whispering resistance
you look ahead and see the trees, promising solitary release
and you lean into the challenge

the cracks stretch further
each time you
stumble on the thin ice
the wind howls through the trees ahead
and a girl’s voice echoes softly in the distance

Dad

crack
you trudge on
motivated by the burning in your belly
and the ringing in your ears
your fist grips your only friend
and the trees whisper their welcome

Crack

the girls voice lingers on the wind

Dad

crack
your favorite spot is so near now
crack
the ice begins to split
and you shuffle quickly
fear quickening your step
Spring
warning against your predictability  

one big leap and you’ll be at the tree line
you hear a girls sharp cry in the distance
and turn to look
and as you rub your weary eyes at the sight
the girl sharply disappears
gone

glass shatters at your feet
cracking the ice under you

Solitude

I see you
Messenger all around
A bodiless form
Limitless to culture and time
fluent In the universal language  
Shout your glorious truth from the rooftops
And let your message fall like raindrops
Over a busy city
Intimately Leaving a mark on those who choose to look up
Whispering the secret to the way through
You are the silent divine
And you shine all around me

I feel the glare of the morning sun on my face and peel my eyes open
I stare right into the sun,
knowing she means best while my eyes adjust to the light

i started feeling uncomfortable in this skin a long time ago
itching for something bigger
i felt myself growing in so many ways
growing away from you
growing toward myself
I was so comfortable in this cocoon you helped me build around myself

i felt cozy being held so tightly
like nothing could hurt me
nothing could change
as long as i was tightly woven underneath your arms

but my wings had begun to grow
and for some time
I felt confined to the small space of our love
I knew that i wanted more for myself

bit by bit
i shed this old skin
caught a gust of fresh spring air
let my wings stretch out a little more
took a deep breath
And allowed the crisp fragrance of change
to fill my comfortable chamber

With the changing winds
Fear seeped from my being
and filled all the spaces around me
and made it hard to move
Hard to breathe
This can’t be right
painful growing pains
push through the sticky bits
plant a foot
stretch those wings
break open the chrysalis

That warm morning sun hit my cheeks
And
Fear evaporated from my skin
Chills ran down my spine
Resilience settled into my bones
And
I saw the sun peeking up from its resting place
Greeting me with a gentle reminder
That even she must go into darkness to be born again

I begin to feel wrapped in a warm tug
cradled in the soft caress of light
That I have manifested for myself
I have manifested for myself.

So I’m
steadying now
And
studying how
To be
In This freedom that lifts me into weightlessness
I feel stronger each day that I wake up on my own
And get to peer at the morning view
And Bask in the beauty of change

Prune my feathers
Grease my wings
Get rid of the soft down of scared old me
The winds are picking up now
And the horizon is calling my name

I was out at sea
For years
In an endless storm
That rocked my boat
Day in and day out
Too afraid to abandon ship
Paralyzed by the idea
That the captain must go down with his

Looking out at the choppy water
I decided to jump
And swim
In hopes of finding land
Desperate
To stand on solid ground again

I swam and I swam
And in the dark
While the sky fell to meet the waves
I saw something
A glimmer
A spark of hope On the horizon
A strong and steady beacon
Calling me to come home
To me

Days passed
And I persisted
Fighting the current in my head
That threatened to drag me further out to sea
A beam of bright white light catching my eye between every single wave
steadily reminding me of my own strength
My ability to ride the waves of uncertainty
And a call to follow my mortal desire for peace

So I stopped fighting so **** hard
And The waves still crashed around me
Pushing me in a new direction
As if the moon was on my side

I noticed how The sea foam cradled around me
And felt the rain slow
And noticed the light become brighter - closer

exhausted from the journey
I closed my eyes and floated on the slowing tide
Beginning to Trust the current of my life

I woke up this morning
Lying on solid ground
The waves barely grazing my feet
I could feel sand On my skin
And My face warm from the morning sun
I rolled to one side and cradled my naked body - in a doubtful haze
I grabbed the earth and clenched it in my hands
And began to weep

The sand endlessly welcomed my tears
And shifted to cradle my hollow form
The warm breeze gently reminding me
Of the changing season of my life

I looked up after a while
Realizing the beauty of my solace
The quiet of my breath
A heartbeat slow in my chest

My teary eyes began to focus
And just over the sand dunes
A lighthouse stood unwavering

Giver of light
My guide in the night
Calm washed over me
And peace settled into my bones

That afternoon I let my body rest
And gazed at the sky For some time
Re-discovering the sun and her piercing light
Letting her flood every corner of my being

there she was
In all her glory
There she’s been
All along
Sitting just behind the clouds
in my mind

She fills me with light and
Connects me with the truth of all that I am
That I am home
Now and always

Music and movement
Set my soul free
This is how I rejoice to the universe
And the god in you and me
Flowing to the same energy
Vibrating at the same frequency
Of Us . We .

Please
Take in my aching heart
And listen to all these voices in my head
Stick out my tongue?
Ok... I trust you...?
Take this and get some rest...
but...
It’s alright, see you in a month or two.
But...

There is sap inside my grandma’s mind
that steals her away every passing day
And she stuck out her tongue and did as she’s told
and blames it all on getting too old
And my friend hung up her sorrows
on a tree branch in the winter
taking her body from that tree
gave her whole family too many splinters
For Medicine to cure

Why is there no cure
for anxiety, depression, Alzheimer’s, ptsd
Minds taking lives that want to be set free
why is the mind so misunderstood
The intricacies of anatomy are well explored
but shadows cast on
the workings of the brain are elusive
Our medicine needs soul

It needs to look deeper
Into the abyss that is mental disorders
This mind-hijacking crisis is taking over
Leaving bodies left and right
Without souls
Making people get creative
with their diy ways to ******* die

What’s the body without the mind
What’s the beating heart that’s lost it’s soul
touch the elusive woven fabric
which brings to life each body being treated
Stop treating outside in
and look a little ******* further within

Your patient whom you’ve got no patience for
They’re asking you for something more
Than a ******* bandaid
Leaving each person without a clue
And you’re surprised when they end up shooting away their blues.

Give me the horizon
Until the sun’s orange glow is dripping from my lips
I want to feel adventure running through my blood
Pumping pure light out of my chest

I want to feel so alive I’m out of breath
knock me off my feet
And send me tumbling softly down a green hillside
Right into a huge rain puddle
to soak in the fresh water of the heavens
As it sends silky streams down to meet the Earth
In a beautiful downpour of life
I look up at the heavens pouring her soul out onto my cheeks
While I ******* smile
At the glorious experience of it all
The heart racing adventure of exploration

Excitement
Newness
Discovery
Breath
Light
Happiness
­
I want to feel
The ******* ****** of happiness
That comes from living so lushly
Freely
Deeply

I want every one of my cells to vibrate in the universe’s glorious stride
Until I’m filled with wonder
And my soul seeps out of my fingertips like glitter floating in space

Blow my ******* mind with the power of life
The potence of laughter
Flooding my body
Freeing the tangle of my mind
Set my soul free

I want to gasp for air
In the wilderness
Drench me in oxygen
Give me life
Shift my soul
As I soak in the magnificence of it all

Set an intention
To be present here
Make a resolution
for the new year

Doesn’t have to be grand
Simple is best
Maybe you need
A moment of rest

A breath of fresh air
A challenge or two
Whatever it is
It should benefit you

Strive toward a goal
Be mindful each day
be Kind to yourself
If tomorrow you stray

And To hell with perfection
You are divine
Happiness is progress
Keep your chin to the sky

Close your eyes for a second
feel your existence
Feel your heart beat
Deep inside your chest

Live in this moment
and take what you need
Keep moving forward
At your own speed

At the end of each day
reflect on the moments
you felt most alive
repeat tomorrow
for a lifetime of paradise

One hundred and seven pennies under my tongue
From all the times you never cared for my thoughts
Swallowing them up
Left a metallic taste in my mouth
Bitter
Reminiscent of the blood I ****** off my dripping skin
From your words of indifference that cut deep
Into my soft poet’s heart, that aches to be set free
These rusty coins sit in my throat
Tastes sour

I wander for water to quench my thirst
Searching for the perfect words, a secret key
When an empty book calls to me
The lady at the counter says one hundred pennies, please
I feel my throat tighten, resisting release
This little book silently promises ease
This
Tastes sour
But fills the depth of my desire
To be known completely
An intangible hug warms my body
Wrapping my heart in a hazel aura
Guiding me Home

Now my trustee black book with a broken spine and pages filled
Calls to me from time to time
Frees the songbird from my ribcage
And ignites a fire in my mind
Squeezing creative juices from my right side brain
A golden energy trickles down my spine
And through my fingertips
Flowing like honey through my ball point pen
Onto a blank canvass
That begs
To know me better
To hear my words
It lets me purge
These thoughts with no resistance

The white space of a turned page
Offers a pillow for my tired eyes to close
And invites my imagination to wake up
And paint vivid colors with my words
I speak so fluently in this cursive tongue, now
It keeps me sane so I remain
With my soul between its pages

Tucked into an embrace of solace
These words float from my brain
And every thought becomes ingrained
In these pages,
That glisten with my copper-colored word *****
Each corner bathing in my tears and my fears and my freedom
Reflecting passion poured from a piercing hot artist’s kiln
Critiqued by no one

This is a poet’s chant
And one by one,
I spend my pennies
To be heard
On this medium of acceptance
As you too, Deserve

Take me home to your peaceful place
No friend or lover bestows it like I know you will
No day breaks and washes calm and ease
Like the day the sun sets and I become whole
My chest bursts open and out my light runs free
Let my embers blow in the wind toward the coastline
Guiding my soul into the bright light where
The sunset wraps me in its rays and holds me close
And on a cloud with white wispy feet I'll float above into the sky
To fill the spaces I belong
The nooks and crannies of the universe a little more full
Of my love. Of his love. Of her love. Of our being.
Symphonies will pulse through the black sky
As the stars dance and twinkle
In this universal bliss that runs through space, an intergalactic river pouring into an ocean of light
Infinite love
And I know
I am home
I am

She is a slow dancer
Flickering around her pole
Swaying with the wind
Leaving an imprint on your mind
Close your eyes and she dances in purple neon across your eyelids
She is a strong dancer
She heats up the room with each bend
Don't get too close
Her resistance is vital
She is a dangerous dancer
Her beauty is fierce yet mellow
Her smoldering curves draw you in
you want to get close to her irresistible pull
You circle the smooth path leading to her space
And dive into the tranquil warm waters
She dances above
You are in a trance
As she ignites her soul into the atmosphere
Energizing the room with a soft glow
You bask in the warmth of her fire
Sipping in her sweet nectar as you swim closer
She moves fiercely like the wind
As you approach her space
You indulge in her temptation, if only for a moment
She leaves her mark on your lips
And escapes with a wisp of smoke

i am an opal
a rainbow of clouded beauty
a statement of character
uniqueness
not to be tied in a knot
don’t call me princess
don’t cut me into your favorite shape
leave my edges rough
blow away the carbon dust
leave our fingers bare
you want me pure, crystal clear
honey, my dresses are all black
like these silk sheets i lay on
so come play
with my brilliance
or have karats for breakfast every day
and when you look at her
all you’ll see is me
shimmering in your dreams

The deep oceans in your eyes
Rise and fall up and down my body
Like the rippling tide growing stronger
With the pull of the moon

You Draw me into your orbit
You begin Circling me and I begin circling you
And after a while I can't tell the difference
As we start to blur In this space

Your breath invites me in
Enticing evergreen matching your eyes
My skin begins to melt
Into a warm pool that floats above
And surrounds us with a blanketing tug

A fire is ignited and begins to burn through my ribcage
Trickling down my back and circling my thighs
In blue blue light

traces of your bite form a wet path
Tracing the soft spot above my collarbone
Slowly creating friction In my atmosphere
You graze my lips and a shock sends vibrations down my spine

I dive into your glistening skin
Drinking the oozing passion from your fingertips
As they run along my slippery skin
And I interlace my body with yours

We begin to sway with each wave
Sinking below the surface of consciousness
Into a deep fluid dance

A pattern of Seduction and expression ****** with the thrashing tide
Reddish-Amber colored energy dances around our interwoven souls
As we Climb through levels of sweet bliss riding atop the white caps

I sink further into an abyss of ecstasy
As the rhythm of life ascends
Sending ripples of euphoria into each cell of my being
Rocking me into a trance

A beam of light bursts between us
I see stars as I'm starved of air
Paralyzed with rapture
Exhaling all my energy as I float into the sky

The heavens cradle us in their arms
We drink from the mouth of the gods a peaceful elixir white as poppy milk
And I float back into you once more
And find you gazing at me
With a cool blue smile
As we float on this slow tide

We're gonna make it through this, right?
we can put a stop to these endless nights
Of comparing selfish sides
Until we see the blazing light
Of the fire that burns in our throats
Oh wait that's the mourning light
Shining in through the window bright
Illuminating the stubborn golden gild we wrapped around ourselves tight
Tinted with twisted satisfaction and delight
Take a bite out of this sour apple
Let your teeth sink into it until you have my sight
Because we both screamed what we wanted
Until it didn't feel right
Until our lungs felt tight
And our hearts pulsated In our throats
The absence of each other
Left us raw with the insight
That Reminded us why we hold on so tight
At the end of it all
We just want to make things right

How many years are you willing to be miserable?
Your whole life?
How long can you take the the rise of heat from your belly
Before it flows down those cheeks
Into your clenched fists
That hold all that you wish to be true
But does not exist

Do your hips ache
From the curve of your despair
How long can you ignore your mistake
Can you hold it in your arms
While looking over its shoulder
Secretly envying the life you dreamt of
Watching your world spin
Wondering why fate never kept you in mind

How long until your dreams crush your skull
And leave you weeping on your knees
Writhing in the depths of your suppressed dreams
How long can you hold onto your hate
Before it turns you to dust
How long before your ruins run you into your own grave

Do you break
Do you shudder at the thought of being alone
Do you regret breaking the holy bind
Are you sane
Do you smile at your freedom and rejoice at your triumph
Do you laugh in its face because you escaped your worst nightmare
Or do your bones rot from your failure
From its failure

Do you know the truth
Do you believe it
Are you happy
Do you feel all that you longed for
Tell me this

Kissed by a dragonfly
On a moonlit summers night
There I was surrounded
By all he had to give
And more
A song to make my heart melt
With a meaning of its own
I felt the strain in my throat
As a tear fell from my eye
In that moment a shooting star
Leapt across the silent sky
I knew then all was fit just right
And now his voice soothes me
Like a kiss goodnight

There is a crisp endlessness to the sea.
Shades of life ascend into the ripples
The intoxicating warmth floods over,
Replenishing serenity.

Behind the curtain
Before the crowd
Beyond the music
Above my fear
Beside my partner
Among the lights
Around we go
Through my soul
Without a sound
Despite the world
Together we dance

Nothing to do
Nowhere to go
Can I ask you
Who do you know

And can he can help me
Get out of this cold
Get back on my feet
Break free of this mold

Or will he avoid
My tired blue eyes
As I pace down these rows
In what he thinks is a disguise

I want to go home
But I do not know how
So I distract myself
Taking what I can get for now

I go under
Ripples glaze the surface
No oxygen
No sound
A warm embrace of solitude

I come up for a moment
And the embrace loosens
Parting to let me catch my breath
reminding me of its glistening bliss
Temporary.

Only I try again
To sink into It's abyss
Freeing the reality above
Only for a moment
Do I lose touch with my senses
Hold still
My mind releases like smoke from a wick

I see this chaos
I watch it swirl
And I try to stick my hand in its endlessness
I try to grab onto the truth
That I know is at the core

But it swirls
And it swirls
And it swirls

I persist
Thinking I can change its direction
I try to throw it off course for a moment
So the light may shine through

But it swirls
And it swirls
And it swirls

I feel its static energy
Clinging to the walls of humanity
Pulsing and beating endlessly
Knowing I cannot change the rhythm of eternity
I watch helplessly

As it swirls
And it swirls
And it swirls

This promise we have made
Is just like each one before
But it feels unlike any other
I am at my end
And cannot tread these waters
As they seem to endlessly ebb and flow
Yet our words scoop me up and carry me on
Somehow
Our hearts have decided to remain here
Despite the pain that may or may not come
I am not hopeful, for fear has turned me to stone
Yet I am here
Somehow
Your words whisper to my soul
And we dance with each other again
This burning room is beautiful to us
We think we can extinguish these flames
Somehow
Or maybe we know that we cannot and decide to dance anyway

One spark to ignite the romance
Of lacey ribbons colored grey
Whispers twist and dance
As they float through the air
Free as a stream
Aromas of sweet distance
Left to linger in the wind
A masterpiece of chaos
Enchanting in every way

This is never what I wanted
Never what I thought you'd become
I thought the weight of this world felt like a feather
On your strong shoulders
So I stood
And I grew
Trusting the warmth under your strong words
So long ago

But my paradigm was tweaked
Blinded by a bright glare
Of sunshine and hope
The real weight is baring down
Now
And I need those words to be strong
To be real
I need those arms to hold us

But instead you stand there
With a knife in your mouth
And your arms severed
You stand there
Unable to give
Unable to receive
They lay beside you
I offer to stitch up your wounds
So this red can stop flowing
But you refuse
To let me heal your wounds

I should turn to walk away
But I follow your trail
Stepping into the ignorant red
I try to keep up with your blood stained pace
I shout to you
But you are so far now

Under my trembling wings
I crouch in the hollow space I made for you
And weep