i used to be a girl that got ****** on friday nights
spilling beer in garages across town, making boys laugh
calculating how many smiles or touches on the shoulder or seconds of eye contact could make me feel like i belonged somewhere, a cigarette for every unit of the quota i didn't manage to meet
even on mornings i woke up with sore lungs, i was alive
alive with meaning, with weightlessness, with two cups of diet coke on a patio table
watching snails climb up the aloe vera plant
i used to be a girl who felt whole on saturday mornings

A mess of thighs and hair and love
We ******
For the same reason
That kids throw rocks at the sea

did i pull away or did you?
what i wouldn't do
for one more taste
of that wet embrace.

we find a balance
in the absence.


we find a balance
in the absence.

He loves concrete
And gray.

The desert,
His morning
Not her.

And through himself she cannot find one string on which to suspend a thought,
A speck of emotion, not one fiber optic of data relayed.

Hermit.

The owner bites the dog, I bit myself
I think
I ate my leash
My psychological hand pulls the chain
from my stomach, leading me into the kitchen where
You are making coffee

I wake up in the morning
and curse you
that bed, that old vessel of human broth
I make it
Repackaged, like new,
let’s consume from within –
Crisis averted

Last night I dreamt of islands
chasing me
And I was afraid
because I had deserted them

You
Pour me a cup of coffee
I accept
offering you a smile, but
no gratitude, or hope
While my mind gnaws
at the memory
of love.

cannot trust a thought.
i know not if i am action, reaction, overreaction.
i reside somewhere between emotion and environment

only write haikus
for lovers. this one is for
me. i ****** myself.

Overcoming you has been more than I care to say
Seeing past the facade before me has defined the fence
and hidden the gate.

I'm trapped here so long as you exist, no escape,
Without you, longing for another way to love
Or appreciate without you near.

I could passively sit and watch life pass you by
Or dig myself out and hope to finally say goodbye
Or simply end my life.

Forgetting you doesn't seem the option
Appearance in my dreams underlines your apathy
and my heart only spells caution.

*Te odio.