You're the one with a fist
Around my heartstrings
And I don't see the benefit
In projecting your crimes

I hear you around the corner
And I want you to show
Yourself so we can
Be good again

There's no such thing as freedom
When you're being chased, love

a more foolish me would
change his definition of happiness
to trick himself into loving you

Looking your way,
I'd be hard-pressed to admit the
Beauty of an angel even if
It ****** me to Hell

I burned myself today
when the metal bit on my
lighter touched my skin

I didn't let the light go
out because I love the
way the flame dances
despite the pain

I watch the fire for its beauty
and my eyes drink it in,
I hope it never stops

All it takes is a slip of the thumb
to ***** out the warmth

I hate people who act like they're the best in the world
When their flaws go beyond something that can be overlooked
When ignorance reigns

You know I'm better than you,
More secure than you,
More comfortable than you

Why not speak to it?

Your beauty knows no bounds such as language or gravity
or thought, light or night or flakes or crystals.
They only pretend to enhance you, and it only enhances our
understanding of you, for you are perfection, and purity and
whiteness and blackness and the sun and the moon and the
snowfall promise of a late winter dawn

I can't fall anymore
so all that's left to do
is try some more

three's a crowd when
it's you and them and
i would be intruding

but not when it's you
and i and it would be
rude to leave her out

Here, this is my haven place:
My light-rain windy dew-bound place.

There, that is my chaos place:
My flip-turn shattered axle flaming place.

Now, where is my solace place?
My hidden-thoughts mystery space?

Taking a look inside is harder than it looks
when my eyes stare out into the world and not
back within.

Glimmering, beset by glittering ocular retinae,
I see the ghost of my whispered solace place.

It is more than I'd ever hoped for.

Sometimes
I'm fireproof

Sometimes
My kisses light up the sky
And I sing with the voice of a god
And my fingers stir up lightning
In the stormclouds above

Sometimes
I can silence the sun with a touch
And those solar roars sing to me
And me alone

I love you like the trees love the sun,
like the whales love the sea,
like my heart drives me toward
thought and feeling before logic

Far away, you defy impulse,
and when you arrived in the dead
of night my heart was quick and
you were quicker to grin than I
when I saw your face

I remember the way your eyes stuck to the
walls because you were overcome by their
conversation, and the sound swelled up
and I knew what you were feeling

And I wanted nothing more than to walk
with you by the river so we could catch a bit
of quiet but I knew that was impossible

The world has a course and I'd best let it be,
roll with the punches, so maybe I'll see you again
before time steals you away

i'm a mess of contradictions
and i'm lost inside my head
so i write all my afflictions
for i know why i'm not dead

because i know there is tomorrow
and light just past the clouds
now i will lay down in my sorrow
deaf from my thoughts so loud

How can you take anything
Seriously when such a thing as
Laughter exists?

There's a cordial whisper that begins to scream when it gets too cold outside
There are bubblegum kisses that burn with proximity
Fires crackle and stars flicker and the universe doesn't get any darker
We like to change and we don't admit it
But crystal melodies reveal as much as a veil cast aside

I watch the hours slide by
waiting for the flames to die
and I reflect on the meaning of
potential

I am a moth and you're a light
and restraint is my mind's only fight
because these feelings for you are
torrential

the sun was bright that day
leaving freckles in my skin
burning brown grains of sand
stepping a little too far inland
losing sight of the sea
looking for the snake's oolong tea

theft ain't bad if you're taking
from the thief
got nothing to lose, friend,
just like you
you know how it is

oh, hello
i'd never steal from you
just wanted to look around
admire the place
you've got a pretty good setup here
no, i'm not a kiss-***, i'm being for real

scraping my knees on the rocks near
the shoreline, digging sand into my skin
the reddening streaks on my legs
remind me of the sunset
pain is nothing, i tell myself
kneeling and praying to god
for mercy upon mine soul

but this doesn't get old
face flushed with relief
my pockets full of the snake's
very aromatic oolong tea

I can kiss you back to life
Give me your hand
And I can pick you up again
But, oh
What strength lies in my bones?
Eliminated
Shot
Gone years long past
I'm weaker than I thought

Kiss me back to life
But we're both falling
Twirling in this dance of death
Ever-distant
Growing smaller

Give me your hand

I've read a love story
A billion times in my life
Every page the same
Every dustjacket adorned with the same
Cover design of two sultry lovers wrapped
In each others' arms, lips pressed together in
A kiss

He was a man and
She was a woman;
They were destined to
Be together

Your story is nothing unique
Nothing different
Your words are the same as those
Scrounged together decade after decade
Centuries cascading to produce the same
Love story under a thousand names

It's your straight romance
Your promise that everything will be okay and
That you might have kids one day
And a nice house without fear of
Being killed for your identity
And out of my hatred for you is
A deep envy and a desire to have
What you were born with

You do not have to fight for
What I have earned

I'm sorry this long winter
Has destroyed you so

I love you.

But if leaving you behind
Means moving on,
Then I'm all for it

my feet are on backward and i think i'm dying
baby, hold me

i'm landing in my sunnystep and my brain is like
thunder music, a beat only a child can drum to

eyes squinted i'm overwhelmed, an anxiety attack
only my mother could sniff out
honey i'm too in denial to tell

i got ******* work to do

but my mind won't let me go
won't let me walk
talk

baby, hold me
lift me from my sunnystep
make me slow down

started on their sophomore record
brave enough now to move beyond
tracing years like a spinal cord
feel your breath hitch
i found it

found snakeskin on my brow
newly shed
oddly red
wished i was dead
i'm wiser now

lonely nights
all i got on my mind is
this song and you

I am a piece of pottery and the
Earth is my wheel as it revolves around the sun
and those who speak to me dig their fingers into
my skin, shaping me into something new

Each jump of the second hand on my watch
is a chance to die or live more fully, another
chance to more perfectly realize what
choice I have in the matter

The love I feel for myself is constant; it is the
coast and the emotions I feel for those around me
must ebb and flow so life can spring forth as blood
from a tear

My God is the belief that in a year's time everything
will be better, and my Devil is the sinking fear of the
opposite

I'm a satellite gone rogue
Thrown off course by an
Unfamiliar gravity

Call me Telesto in that
Solar voice of yours
Pin me down
Against the stars

Give me up to younger worlds
Made of packed stone, rich with
Potential

The best I can do is watch
And fly
And wait for the day upon
Which you will finally devour me

let me
wipe those tears off your face
come and look down at me
take my hand
lead me through
the forest of things you
can't tell anyone else

remember
the grass is greener
where you water it
love is given freely
and never runs out

there is nothing you
can say that will stop
me from trusting you

Everyone's busy
All the time
Too choked up on pleasure
To hear the calls

All I saw was white noise;
Empty crackling and a voice
Behind the mask

You're muffled and I can't hear
The truth under this sheen of
Sound

Every time you look at me
I hear a question and I can't
Translate it from this tongue
You're speaking in

To deny pain is to deny growth;
to shy away from opportunity is
a waste of life

Accept the fear and blossom,
embrace the struggle and become
something greater

I can handle depression
But anxiety is a bit too much

I'm sorry for writing your run-of-the-mill
Emotional venting poem but I need to get
This off my chest and I have nobody left
To talk to, not to say I'm not thankful

These fires lately have me on edge and there's
Too much on my shoulders and though I
Know that I can't collapse,
I really do want to

I love you and your voice and
Your music and I wish you'd
Embrace your talent and your
Skill with change

If I could cut through the miles I
Would, if I could find a way to
Help us both I would, if I could
Find a way to get you here I would

I'm building a garden and a haven and
I want to emulate the beauty I felt last
Spring, a year ago, pulling off that
Woodsy Bohemian Highway

We're so similar I'm scared to speak,
I was living a mistake, killing myself
By the fireside, and all the while I was
Petrified, cradled in the arms of a murderer

I've found a light since then and I'm
Hoping we can speak again

///

I don't know what's wrong with me,
What does God want from me?
So I can be perfect and funny once
Again, youth restored, safe so my
Heart isn't bored

Drenched in despair,
I've already been replaced -
I watched it happen, day by day,
And I can't help but hate
That which is better than I am

I need an escape and a place
I can run to because this town
Isn't my home anymore;
These aren't my friends anymore

///

It was the same yesterday
And today and tomorrow
And I'm praying for a change
But abandonment is the solution
I don't want to accept

By the end of the day and the sun is
High I find myself forgotten by
Those whom I love and I begin to
Feel that heat in my chest

I run home like a child pushed to breaking,
Hands tense and clutching denim,
Breaths forced because breathing is hard

Praying for change, denying what I
Know is true, I need to
Escape these echoes

Uniform march searching for our mark,
pens in hand we seek to be unique

Speeches of futility and grace could not
hold us down as well as our own ambitions --

I saw a photograph in my mind the
other day, and we were in it before
a fountain, and the sky was like snow --

Black blood poured from your eyes and
water from mine, and the only things
moving were our hearts and our minds

(Your fingers are a chisel and my
skin is marble gray)

Take my hand, darling--
move on to the stars and watch as the sun sets
See those silhouettes?

It's a summer retreat campfire beat and
sticks on railings in the dead of day

"Bring me back," they plead, but
that's not our way

Oh, no.

Look at the past and swallow your regrets
and make bad jokes about your fading silhouettes

Cast on the wall as a saucer after their call, broken
Take my hand and lead me through
the garden of our broken promises

An echo of "I'm sorry" in the embers

I don't click

I'm a healer when I get attached
But now I'll try to limit that

I love music from every era but the
Past is most comfortable to me

I make tributes to those whom I love
But I remove them when times change

My only love is brotherly

I'm a raging retort
Burning air and searing flesh

I'm rough rainfall
In the dead of December
When it's too warm to snow

I'm a scarred navel
Touched by lips unknown

I'm a dog left outside
To rot in the Sierra sun

Steal me to distract me

Maybe then I'll forget

Will you lay with me
under trees so blue and skies so pink?

Our skin will be warm and the
wind will be sweet, and in our
hearts we'll know time is a fallacy

I could lose my way in your eyes,
so please let me let myself start
thinking in color and become full
of love again

****!
This boy is tired,
Weary, ready to rest
Ready to beat up the world
After one long nap

Ready to kiss the **** out
Of cute boys,
Make good art,
Listen to tunes that would
Make my mother weep

Ready to bask in the sun
And take it all on
Not necessarily in that order

I hope it's a phase
Because I can't hold my own
Hand through this mess when I'm
Busy sweeping aside the rubble

I'm an alien in my own head,
Feelings unknown and emotions
I don't know the words for

Maybe I won't ever find a way
Out because it bounces back each
Week, kicks me while I'm down,
Watches me bleed from my lips

this is my warm month
my brown month
my i'm so safe month

its time to say goodbye
to the earth and i'm a worthless lie
and it's everything to me
that i may die

huddle by the fire and sing old bible hymns
to me as i fall asleep
and the leaves outside are my lullaby
as i descend into my deep sleep
this november

Oh, claim -
Claim my heart and my hands
Break them again
Take them again

Leave me gasping in the rain
again
I love you (x2)

I'll take lightning over rain
Fire over pain
Any day, any day now

I'm pleading
begging to the skies;
render your cloudy splendor,
let me close my eyes

Oh, claim my heart
and my hands
Break them again
Make them again

Leave me singing to the sun,
I love you

--

They say we're gone again
Gone again

I think I'm lost again
Lost again

Washed up on foreign shores,
your eyes the moon
sweet skies the boon

They say we're gone again
Gone again

I tell them to keep their
lies and choke again
Choke again

--

Because I plead you -
Claim my heart
Claim my hands;
Take them again
Kiss them again

I love you

I kicked the radio - I admit

Hey, remember when you crashed the truck and
lost your phone while trying to replace a tire?

I remember when you stole the sun and used it to
warm butter for your popcorn

The radio's just a tinny audio ****-up, blasting bad rock
on bad speakers

That wasn't an insult.

-- It was my own **** fault

Clawing eyes out, drawing blood, kicking shins in,
busting skulls on hardwood floors

Just a tinny audio ****-up

Broken radios, trucks, bones, hollering calamities

It's a repeating pattern, I screamed. The clouds listened and they began to cry for me - I was all dried out

Summer sun will do that to you.

I confessed to you that
I'm a devil at heart but
I started to doubt it
Moments later

I still wonder
Why?

Can't I be sure of myself
When I finally figure things
Out

Maybe
I'm something holy,
Beyond what I had in
Store for myself so
Many months ago

Maybe
I'm something sacrosanct,
Something God wouldn't
Touch for fear of *******
It up before it got a chance
To bloom completely

Maybe
I'm something awful,
Maybe I crawled up from
Some rotten hole and I'm
Waiting for a hero to
Finally end me

doubtful of my worth
days pass and i say nothing
the people on the street
they hear nothing

we've silenced ourselves
so many years but
nothing's changed

too desperate to brand ourselves,
too frantic to hide from the fear
too quick to shroud ourselves in shame

you say "god loves you"
like a threat but you are
ignorant to the fact that he
made me this way

he loves me as i am
and pray he helps me
love you the same way

O footprints in newly-fallen snow;
you were set by feet long dead
Long have I wished to meet your
master.

Oh honey,
Don't try to hide

You make my skin crawl;
Just the way I love it

Cold scars, blank eyes,
The only things that scare me

And I begin to wonder
When the rain will start to end
And my mind will become normal
And God's back will start to bend

When the sun will fall to Earth
And the ground will crack again
When my lover says hello
And my tender heart will rend

I will start to cry again
Eyes as streams of vitriol
And in myself I'll find a friend
Answering my heart's own call

There's a bridge beneath my feet
And there's smoke in my twin lungs
I'm scared this wood is burning
Searing through these fragile strings

I've been searching an escape
That which I cannot find
Buried so deep in this dirt
I'd be better off alive

So please, I plead of myself:
Save me

triangle twenty
trips around the sun
chances to breathe
to start anew
remember my mistakes

when you set up in
the weeds i'll
ride the sun to
the nighttime and
say hello to my
most beautiful secrets
and introduce the ones
you'll never forget

when i'm feeling blue
i'll play in the puddles
in the road and
take my time in
the rainfall until it's
time to head to bed again

the sun will catch us off guard
burning away the temporary
cold, offering up a new
chance at being brave
in the face of that which
we don't recognize
and may never know

and then we'll leap
through triangle twenty
and ride the waves into
infinite truth and hope
everything turns out okay

please go and
sing those songs you
used to sing to put me to sleep

there are echoes and they
aren't satisfying anymore

I broke this and I shouldn't try to fix it

I broke this and I can't fix it

headlights illuminate
cherry blossoms kicked up
by a late night breeze
dancing in the moonlight

a forever
competition

i glide through the dark
soundless & frictionless
free to observe
and think

i walk through old memories
lost in the blossoms
stopped only by
road signs

i ******* hate
alcohol
don't come near my friends
my family
don't create any more
qualifiers
i will destroy the bottles
shatter the glass
drink up the blood that
spills from my fists
i will not let
you take that too.

acid poison venom
the ugly disease
the one that i hate
the one that i work to
destroy.

i am ******* immune
to this fear of mine
and i am adamant
i will **** it where it
stands