it's a strange feeling
warmth
when i have become so
comfortable locked alone
with nothing but
the cold

i found myself wandering
82nd avenue this evening
halsey singing to my brain
i think i was listening

the way the sun kissed the
horizon was on my mind

god let me seize this moment
catch it in my fingers
breathe it in and sing it out
because i'm out of it

my blood cells are
volts of electricity
supercharged
each time the sun comes out

my eyes are too sensitive
for anything brighter than
a mile-deep cave

i regret not getting those fancy
sunglass lens when i last
refreshed my prescription

everything is too much right now
and i really want to take a nap

outstanding odds know no bounds -
they dance and uproot the trees in
my mind, they tear up my boots as
i pass by

losing skin and muscle until i am
merely bone they sing and scream
to me, making beautiful songs from
the lyrics in my head

I feel sick inside when
I'm all of myself at once and
The beats fall out of touch and
My rhythm fades to dust

I think you're lovely but
Neither of us are good with groups
And it's during times like these that
I wish I could just up and flee

Set the scene and
I'm so worn down,
Drinking little lies
So I can get by before
The rain hits

I'm sorry I hurt your
Feelings

I'm overheating and
There's no easy escape

when you coat yourself in silver
and shut your eyes
and fly too high
and breathe in rain
and tell your lies
you oxidize

your skin turns blue
and rots away,
exposing bones
bleached like snow
you've flown so low
they'll never know

so you hide away
and cry for help
and no one comes
until you've died
deep in your cave
in need of light

you strike on stone
and light a match
and burn yourself
to light the way
back out of hell
and into life

I'm so nervous, so tired
I want to walk with you on old leaves
And sing love songs to the quiet

I don't think we should stop this
You caught my eye when I first saw you
And I crave it now more than anything

you send me good morning texts
when i'm three hours into my shift

Voice higher than the clouds
The stars
It begins to shake and I send you
My silent support

I'm a fan
Is the best way to say it
But in reality,
I'm too afraid of this
Social dilemma

You're beautiful but
I'll keep my distance

Pray for me
Because I'm about to lose
Myself again

You make your promises
But your legends are as real
As my dreams of a
Perfect life

I resent you no less than the Devil
And I keep your book on my
Shelf so I can read the death of
Your son and remember how you
Killed him in cold blood

You'll **** me too one day,
Like you did him,
And I'll die as insignificant as everyone else
Because we're nothing more than
Your playthings

There is hope beyond a papery pharmacy
that is stocked with ink and sheepskin

The clerk is finicky and silent, and elixirs evaporate
as you browse the papyrus shelves

There is hope beyond this paper pharmacy,
so abandon poisons crafted by pen-laden fingers

A kiss on the chest
triggers the human instinct
to draw a quick breath

Tiny struggles
Little civil wars

Beg for a reaction
And I won't budge

Oh, carry-on bags and Aeropostale apostrophes,
mere fabric catastrophes

It's a half-waltz dance to a song with few words,
all of which are in garbled Italian

It's a murmured What the ****? and a
high laugh

Tripping over your own feet has never been
so elegant

Is this all I'm good for?

Rewind.

Newly charred, you look like a
match lit twice

Oft cheated, I see the darkness in
your eyes

Pull those strings, boy
Look me in the eyes, boy,
It only gets worse from here

Never bothered to count the years
between you and your lover,
he left you broken on the roadside

No better than a puppet, you lay
seeking salvation

No fairer than the day, you lay
losing breath

Is this all you're good for?

I'd rather be drunk in your arms
depending on someone beside myself
for once

I want soft lights and sweet water on
my lips, red from kissing yours, eyes
half-shut with relief

I see gentle dreams indistinguishable
from reality, my hands on your skin,
fingers loose and muscles lax

Hunter blood
Drowning in mud
Screaming to God
There's nothing I can do
Now
To escape this fate
I've chosen for myself

Pull me back
And take me home
Lay me by the hearth
So I can pray
To that which is killing me
As I sink here
Losing breath

Too weak to cry
Too deep to become the animal
I see at the edge of the clearing
Too feral to make
Sense of what I'm feeling

Pretend I don't care
Masking this face with another
Lips touching on nothing

you find a way
each day
to squeeze between the
cracks in my armor

and i become so warm
i melt the steel
so once we're done
i need to buy a new suit

you show me new sounds
i've never heard before
and i swear you sat down
and invented a hundred colors

i've used them to paint my walls
so your touch is inescapable
your voice never fades
and my world never stops
growing

With several years under my belt as a living, breathing human, I've decided that it's high time I evaluate who I am. Deep down, I'm real. I know this. Amidst tests of life and vitality, I've resorted to prose to find my inner truth.

This truth is that when we are alive, there it a reason. When we die, there is a reason. Although it may not all be pre-determined, I know that when there is an action there is a push. Like a deep sigh from the ever-dark of my lungs, things come to light, and they come to spread about in the air and go on journeys untold.

As a young author,
I've published earlier
Years' worth of poetry
In hefty anthologies,
And that which has been
Allotted for 2015 will
Be published on Christmas

This book is called Yeti,
And if you care to pursue a
Purchase, a manner of donating
To a young writer, the link
Will be in my biography

Merry Christmas!

Listen: it's been no different for me --
We've both found a future and a truth

And I remember the flashing lights at that
Concert devoid of pyrotechnics or
Rube Goldberg machines but it was
Perfect anyway

Do you see it?

I'll have to cut the title
This time so you can't
Find my tracks but
I don't know what I've found

If diamonds are rare,
Then this is rarer

Radiating energy as you do
Would you lend some to me
I don't have a coin to spare
and you're practically glowing

Lend a thought to the low and
gain a spot higher, I know the lure
Who am I kidding?
I'm a fool to love, as are you

Spend some gold on a life and you'll realize the
pointless futility,
the hapless mortality that plagues
those immune to life

Open your eyes, my love,
see the sun with your soul

Radiating energy as you do
Would you lend some to my friend?
She doesn't have a coin to spare
and you're at a lively flicker

It wears you down, my love,
don't you see?
I'm burning bright and she is a dying light
and to fuel that fire
she must give some away

I'm burning, ****** to high heaven, and
I rise like hot air

But for you, my love--
There's still a chance!
And to flip a coin, to coax that dance,
your path to hell would quickly advance

Choose a road, my love, as our
time grows short, and my hidden plague
takes my blood and gifts me poison.

Should this vitriol spill from my lips?
Kiss it away, and steal my coins,
radiating energy as you do.

I want to hear the waves crashing on the shore
When we crash into each other
Lost to the music
And I don't wanna come back

I feel the wind kiss my forehead
Like the sun never did
And now the clouds are here
It's more than I could ask for

I never did learn if you love the rain
Like I do
Or if you feel the rhythm
Like I do

Baby steps
Decades lost to time
I'm singing to the waves because
You never will

Grab the fireball and let it burn
your palms to the bone,
scorching it black as
the dark face of the moon

It lights up in your eyes and
you know you've won the fight
before it's even begun, and you
begin to whisper the funeral rites

The winds roars around you,
blinding ears and striking feet,
and your shoulders catch flame
in the ever-growing heat

What a fury, what a light
you've ******* won that fight,
you've won that right
to boast about your victories

The heroes will bow down soon,
speaking their sin and hailing their kin,
and you'll be the spark in the fire

Cast in stone, they won't call you a liar

He's fixing himself,
said I'm difficult

Who am I to judge
a boy whose true colors
I've never seen?

They say stay where you
belong, to me, and to all of
them I say I'll do what I want

But it might be best, I think,
to keep to myself when all
my help just hurts instead

Love runs thick
Down my face like
Tears after a long day of
Cold weather and kisses

Paint me red with
Winter sunsets and
Crushed rose petals
Like old perfume

Hold my hand as the world falls apart and magma breaks through my toes, crimson waves of fire swirling round
It's quite the sight, my love
Tell them that when they put up my gravestone

The end of the world is a relief
Do you hear the fear that
drifts on the wind?
Neither do I

Let's go have fun, love,
dance upon the stone as it breaks apart
sing to the clouds as they flee to space
kiss each other goodbye as the waves climb higher

I don't know what's wrong with me,
What does God want from me?
So I can be perfect and funny once
Again, youth restored, safe so my
Heart isn't bored

Drenched in despair,
I've already been replaced -
I watched it happen, day by day,
And I can't help but hate
That which is better than I am

I need an escape and a place
I can run to because this town
Isn't my home anymore;
These aren't my friends anymore

pull don't push
to reflect on the glass
several months removed
realize what you lost
and what you gained

how your ambition changed
how the light has brightened
how before you never knew
and now you're wiser

to know that water is
air to the creatures in the
sea and that this is the
act of inhaling when asleep

we see best when our eyes are closed
but you're too afraid to try it

There is no peace in greed.

A revival means nothing when
Nothing changes the second time around

So why would you lie to us?

the rain on my brow is a shield
before which wind wakes whirls of dirt
and dust catches on my well-worn shoes,
soles sliced by the pedals on my bicycle,
sharpened instead of dulled by two generations of use

the arches above my head are the ribs of an umbrella
but drops cut at an angle as if the notion of striking
the ground before kissing my skin is simply too
much to consider

so under this canopy four years has stretched
into six hundred, the crash of minutes slipping away
muted by the wolves in my brain and until this pathway is
finished with me i will never know peace

your tongue tastes like *****
i can't stop these bullets from
slipping between my lips

i crave our moments together
and i know you don't want the
things i do

i wish you did

No soft down of the goose
No suspirations of peace and condolence
No love for the broken

No volume of kind words will ever heal me,
no amount of rose-tinted promises will ever convince me that I'm not alone in this fight

No pillows for me when I fall from my great heights

Only the justification of my actions and the tissue to the tears I forgot to shed

short like a novella
black and honest
i lean in to hear what
you have to say
today

yesterday was an eternity
a million years ago
i hope you believe my confession
i've been holding it in for
weeks now

when our lips meet
i ascend and i fear
it's not the same for you
i'm like a rubber band
snapping back to attention
each time your eyes fall on me

been through the ups and
the downs with you but
i'm afraid i'm just another
young mistake

i'm gone now so
only time can tell

Bad moods don't breed good words
I've learned
Even the dark side of Mars
Sees the sun sometimes
And the dark side of Luna
Sees it as well

Don't make a boy a promise you
Can't keep if you'll get bored the
Next day over and leave him in the dust

Don't take what you can't give back
Don't use up energy you can't replace
Because my time is gold and you aren't

Boots on my feet, heels on cold obsidian.
This is my land now. My proclamation;
every stone to the east and every wave to the west.
Evacuate.
Eyes on the sun, gun in hand: this is no place for dishonor.

Eyes on the prize.
No tomorrow.

Say, you see when the rooster rises and crows?
Take a hint.

You could achieve your dream of
Soaring over the clouds if perhaps
You cut those chains around your
Ankles and left the Earth for what it is

Worldly; we fall for angels who end up
Being much more foul but in the end
We find they were angels anyway,
Unknowing

This mess of red string is around my wrists now
And I want to burn it to the ground but I
Know that honor is yours -
Free me please so I won't have to dwell on
Memories I don't understand

Send me screaming and spiraling to the encore, bravado of the loved, into the inferno that brews with each pant

I'm running.

I'm fleeing and my feet hit the concrete a little slower each time and the passenger of the sedan on my left is pulling a gun

I'm on the ground now, blood soaking into the pavement, laughs echoing off empty buildings

My old home.

Why did I ever come back?

Take from the poor and give to
the poorer

Drink scorched gold on ashy
bread

Bronze in your fist and silver
in your tooth

You're surely ******,
highwayman

--

Running to hills and sighting clouds like kids again,
Chasing memories that don't want you around

Resurrecting demons like foul-mouthed holy men,
Bones stir deep in your blood-soaked mounds

Hey, man, why do you bother?
Hey, man, why do you care?

Tell yourself again: It's not worth it,
Look down deep and you will find
the twisted nature of the highwayman

Running to the hills and sighting clouds like kids again,
Chasing memories that don't want you around

Resurrecting demons like foul-mouthed holy men,
Bones stir deep in your blood-soaked mounds

Tell yourself again: it's so worth it
Look up high and you will find
the blessed nature of the holy man

(Take from the poor and give to
the poorer
Drink scorched gold on ashy
bread
Bronze in your fist and silver
in your tooth
You're surely ******,
highwayman
You're surely ******,
holy man)

i get flashes of inspiration
from tiny little bits of song
and i repeat them
three-seconds long at most
and i know this musician
got the same rush as i do now
this desire to create
to put words to the thoughts
swirling in my head
and i like to visualize it like
the storms of saturn
a thousand colors
a million winds
each impulse lasting half an instant
just long enough to taste
just brief enough to miss

I've lost my sense of direction
I am floating without correction

Drifting toward the nearest sun
And
My starving feet begin to run

Breath hitches in my throat
Blocking thieves as if a moat
...
Protected you from me and you again
Of you there is no lack again

The sun begins to burn me up
Then
My skull is but a gilded cup

I feel you drink the richest wine
I sigh when I know that you are mine
Is that where we draw the line..?

I float without direction
No sensible correction

I listen for the my beating heart
Before I recall that you stole it

eyes cast down we find safety and solace in the dark
where no prying souls live to tell our secrets to the world
and i know you better than god -
i can read your every breath as a song
each hitch a lyric

i hate this power
but you ought to know i have it

I was born twice and about one day I remember
Everything and of the other, nothing

We're all one and one united,
Paths blending and voices mixing until
Languages are indecipherable and
Each touch is the same in its variety

We're back and we never left,
And if there's one thing you should take
Home with you, let it be that, with the hope
That it reminds you that it's possible to
Disappear completely whilst biding your time

I was born twice and the second time was as intense
As the first, if quieter, and I tapped into something
Much greater than myself

We're all one and one united, and if tracking back
Means you'll reach a second birth, come into
Contact with a family you never knew, then
Maybe it'll be worth it

Sigh is not born from weariness,
Rather a sense that things have settled
Before they're shaken up again

A moment of rest before the rest I
Must come to weather

An instant of respite before I
Must face a lying world again

And Sigh will culminate at this
Time next year but its truth
Will follow me forever

I don't know
if I want to know
what words you've held
inside for me, or
if I want to know if there's
anything there for me
at all

Long ago,
Rain fell and music rolled
And instead of fog
They knew smoke

Long ago,
Crisp was muddled by
The sky and the sun
Rose and fell in grid-like rows

But I can't go to an age that's
Lost but more earthly

You're a firecracker
Filled with sparks and light
The world wants your energy,
But listen closely:

Hold it close.
Guard it with glass --
That way, it can shine through.
You're solar-powered
You're a neutron star
You're liquid moonlight at dawn
You're my baby girl
And the world will fear you one day,
And it will love you as well
As I do

Sister,
You're a goddess
And I know that you will
Leave this place better than the
Way you found it