Dear diary;
sometimes I feel like
I am the side character
in my own
story.

You made me dependent
and now I hate myself for
ever letting it get
to this point.

Everybody's book
has some pages they'd rather
tear out and forget

12:02 PM
10/7/21

How can you
blame others for
breaking your heart
when you don't
love yourself?

You came to this world
desperate for answers but
instead you found me

7:40 PM
8/7/21

I step away from
this broken heart and
board the ship of hope
to sail across the sea
of tomorrow.

Watch the night sky
in all of its grandeur and mystery
and you will soon realize that
your beauty is far beyond
anything the cosmos
have to offer.

My memories
are carried by the southern breeze
across the oceans
to the one I long for.
Our goodbyes wonder endlessly
on foreign shores and
I can still hear your whispers
drift through the
darkest of nights.

I walked through
that park last night.
Your perfume lingers
and the twilight glistens
upon the lower lake.
I stared at my reflection
and saw us staring back
at a heartbroken man
standing there alone.

When your loneliness
fades away, will I still be
your favorite one?

2:12 AM
7/7/21

When you think of forever,
do you fear what lies ahead or
do you relish the endless possibilities?

Another endless winter
without you-
just the memories that
kept us warm
so very long
ago.

I don't believe
a broken heart truly mends-
some pieces are lost
forever.

Now that you've confirmed
all of my worst fears, who knows
what will come of us?

3:09 PM
4/7/21

Cancel culture is
built on the sin of
revenge and not the virtue of
forgiveness.

They say two weeks 'til
I don't miss you anymore
but I have lost count

9:52 PM
1/7/21

We will always
be connected through
love and a theory-
these strings shall
transcend time and space
and bind us
for eternity.

I think that
every sunflower
follows your light
to find their way
back home.

Dear Diary;
I don't want to let go
because I am afraid of
what life would be like
without them.
To be honest,
I don't want to know.
I'd rather spend every day saddened
by your absence than to
forget your name.

I will plant you
fields of sunflowers
that spell out your name
if you promise to
keep them
in bloom.

I miss the way your
eyes somehow smiled more than
your mouth ever did

3:07 PM
28/6/21

nothing and no one
interests me anymore-
they are all the same

5:04 PM
27/6/21

Dear Diary;
I must confess
that I still dip my toes
into memories too deep.
From time to time,
joy floods back
but other times,
I drown.

I remember when
you were still a sunflower-
back when you planned to reach the sun,
back before they had trimmed your leaves
and left you to wither.

I overdosed
on love
and found a detox
in lust.

How can I love you
when I still have not yet learnt
how to love myself?

6:20 PM
13/6/21

Dear Diary;
Isn't it funny how
some people can show
more love to you
in a day
than others can
in a lifetime?

You are the
field of sunflowers
that I wish to
bloom in.

My fear
has faded,
and now I dare
to love
you.

My heart
may not be broken
anymore,
but it is fortified.
You taught me lessons
the hard way and
I am eternally
grateful and
ungracious.

Love is a road
with potholes and pitstops,
crossroads and car trips-
a long and winding road
that runs forever in
our hearts.

To kiss your lips
again
is a broken heart
worth repeating.

It is important
not to dwell on these things-
they have a way of
eating you alive.
The best thing you
can do now is shut up,
look forward,
and never back.

Look forward,
and never back.

Oh,
to feel your warm
and tender hands
upon my chest
to melt away this
frozen heart.

I'll walk the streets
some nights
not knowing what I'm looking for.
Just longing and searching
until I find my peace.

You are art
the way you are
constructed with all
of my favorite things
inside of a
flawless frame.

This life
is everchanging
but I will be here,
always.

There are no heroes-
only villains and victims
in this ****** up world

12:49 PM
8/6/21

We may not be in love
anymore,
but that doesn't mean I
don't want you to be happy
without me.

We should not fear
falling in love,
for it is not love that is the problem.
We are in love with everything from
our friends to our family,
from sunsets to sunflowers.
It's falling so hopelessly in love
with someone where there's a chance
that love will end so fast,
not knowing when or why,
that you wonder what the point of
falling in love was
in the first place.

There's so much darkness
between us that the shadows
are afraid of the dark.

Can you learn to love-
wait, scrap that...
Can you learn to know me,
again,
once the dust
has settled?

I'm still waiting
for the return of spring-
where life and love bloom
and the flower
that is you.

If I had to choose,
I would say I miss
your accent the most.
Your foreign words
took me to a foreign place,
a place away from this life,
a place I called my home.

This love
hurts so good-
I wonder how long
the 'good' part
will last.

Every time I
talk to my demons,
it always comes back
to you.

There is a
black hole where
this heart once stood.
Even this power house
exhausts all of its love and spirit
over time
only to collapse
under the weight of
the world.

We can't start again
so let's just promise to do
better tomorrow

3:53 PM
20/2/25

Never admit defeat
when there's still
time to
win.

How can we
love someone who
will never reciprocate,
or more so,
love someone who
is not good for us?
The human heart is
a funny thing,
isn't it?