I don't want to know you anymore-
not how your day was,
not what you dream,
or even your name.
You cut me down and
I'm still climbing back
to who I used to be.

I have met
so many hearts and
let go of so many more.
Each one I remember-
I cherish them all so much
that every now and again,
I can't help but shed a tear.

I wandered too far
from who I was and now
I cannot find my way back to me.
I know that I am still out there
waiting to be found,
waiting to feel alive,
and waiting to love
again.

The joy of a
thousand sunflowers
leaves my heart brimming with joy.
You make me want to
plant a thousand more.
Hand in hand,
let's get lost in the yellow fields
we grew together.

We are not
victims of our past,
we are survivors.
We learn to heal along the way-
its not like life gives us a choice anyway.

I am
devouring myself
once again.

Who is a poet,
without their pen?
Our existence is on the page-
it is the stories in our head
and the words in our heart.

We are not the same person
as we were yesterday.
Today we believe in this,
and tomorrow we believe in that.
Yesterday is a distant dream and
today I'm only waking up.

what a
tragedy it is
to think of you
and not tell you
because you are
no longer
mine.

I will let you pass
since you are not here to stay-
will we meet again?

10:40 AM
12/3/22

I do not want you
to chase after me-
all I want is for someone
to care about my return.

In the end,
I have no one
to blame but myself.
I ruined me-
I did it myself.

I have endured
several deaths and rebirths
in just one lifetime

12:03 AM
8/3/22

It's getting better,
it's getting bad,
it's getting better,
it's getting bad,
it's getting better,
it's getting bad,
it's getting better,
it's getting bad.

Do you ever feel
strange to be in your own skin-
like a foreigner?

2:09 PM
6/3/22

Acknowledgement does
not equal attachment and
most of the time it is inevitable
to get lost in one or more
of these states of mind.
It is inevitable not to miss
what you once attached
yourself to.

I will no longer
know anything about you
and you will no longer
remember my name.
I will no longer
cross your thoughts
and you will no longer
dream about me.
I will no longer
share your warmth
and you will no longer
hold these hands.

Propaganda
does not work because
people are dumb,
it works because people
want to believe.

I lied when I said
I was okay without you-
far from it, my dear

6:03 PM
4/3/22

There are days where
I miss you so much that
these sunflowers wither and die.
Make your arms my garden and
your smile the sun that
brings them back to life.

I am a bee in the
sunflowers of memories.
I find shelter and solitude
underneath the petals
and harvest that sweet nostalgia
of this garden we once shared.

Each one of your smiles
is a sunflower planted in my soul.
Dispel of this darkness and despair
and cover it with your garden.

Who stays with someone
who shows you only a small
fragment of their soul?

4:07 PM
2/3/22

It was easier when you were here.
You filled each day with a joy
I have not found since you.
No matter what came my way,
your smile was enough
to make me forget the pain
at the end of the day.

Some of us are scattered stars
without a solar system in the vast
and unforgiving cosmos.
We may not be part of a constellation
or host a planet and its life
we could sustain but
we still shine as bright
as any other star.

Your eyes
are flowers I have
never seen
before.

Alone again on
this summer night.
No emotions this evening,
not even any thoughts or sensations.
The ambience consumes me
as I give into the abating ambience.
There will be no dreams tonight,
but also no fear.

I want to give water
to the garden of memories
and flourish these
withered sunflowers
that kept me warm
so very long ago.

Who are you?
I do not know you,
yet you come to me
in my dreams and leave me
wanting more.

I got tired of fantasizing,
of giving into the illusions and
drowning myself in nostalgia that
I can no longer attain.
I am tired of chasing a ghost,
but tomorrow I may give
into the haunting
once again.

To be positive
does not mean to be happy
the entire time

11:13 PM
25/2/22

I am not okay
but I am better than who
I used to be then

11:36 PM
22/2/22

This heartache screams your name,
a thrashing storm that leaves
this heart in ruin.
Your thunder has
sliced open this heart
but these memories are made of sunshine.

I still dream about you
from time to time.
Sometimes I wish to not wake up,
sometimes they turn into nightmares.
Either way, I am sad when I wake up
to see that you are gone.

Though I may not see you
if I close my eyes,
my body still feels you
despite the fact that
you're gone.

What does it matter
what I tell my heart? Because
of you I'm broken

10:58 PM
22/2/22

A photograph of you
brings back a wave of nostalgia
and I am drowning
in memories
once again.

You are the sun
shining upon me,
a withering sunflower,
from dawn until dusk.
We dance in the sunlight
and dream in the twilight
and flourish every day
underneath your brilliance.
So keep on beaming your magic
down upon this Earth
and make your alluring spell
last forever.

Dear Diary;
why do I feel the
need to sabotage myself
whenever something good
happens in my life?
Do I really feel
that undeserving?

Our conversations
mean more to me than you think-
I cherish them all

3:48 PM
22/2/22

You know
you are okay
when you are no
longer fixated
on nostalgia

The devil must
live in the ocean.
That is why the costal cities
are nests of sin and squalor.

The devil must
live in the ocean.
That is why the costal cities
are nests of sin and squalor.

The soul does not reside in the chest,
it resides in the brain,
perceiving reality
through the lens
we call our mind.

Some people
plant seeds in your heart
and grow only the purest of things
while others
seek to cut them down
and salt the earth of your soul.

Social media has a
way of warping reality
for good or for worse.
Do not let it make you feel left behind-
the only person you should be
comparing yourself with
is yourself.

It may not seem like it,
but no one,
not one person,
has their life 100% together.
Everyone has their struggles
and everyone shows it in different ways.

Grandma lied about
girls being all over me
once I got older

3:25 PM
20/2/21

These eyes
look to you
like sunflowers
look to the sun

She knows how
to sit me down and
shut me up.
She puts me in my place
like no other can and
I adore it.