You will always be
near to me as I keep your
smile in my heart

8:57 PM
30/10/23

This mind is a bed of roses
of harrowing memories
that burn these petals.
A storm surrounds me
in this everlasting winter
and one-by-one,
these roses wither and die.  
I hope those that remain
will survive long enough
to see a sun that may never dawn.

Dear diary;
I am growing tired of this mind,
tired of overthinking, of the endless cycle.
"When will this day end? This week, this month, this year?"
I grow tired of society and their norms and expectations.
I want to enjoy life again, to be free, not just endure,
to go through the motions again and again.
I try to savor the good times like a rose,
to smell it, and see it in all its beauty,
until it withers away.
Indeed, I am tired of this winter,
and all the dreariness it brings.
I want to live.

I wonder what the
prettiest colour in the world is.
I think it is a mix of the hues in your eyes
and those teeth the moon could only
dream of shining so brightly
when you smile at me.

Dear diary;
I do not feel-
no, I do not feel anymore.
Sometimes I can feel my heartbeat,
or a lonely butterfly in this stomach
but that pales in comparison to
when I used to feel alive,
to feel any hope at all.

So what is left
of a broken soul?  
Just the empty shell of a man
who barely knows what
it means to exist.

We may not have been
each other's favorite chapter,
but I hope you can still smile when
you turn back the page to
where we began.