You took away
my desire to need love.
For some reason, I accepted it,
and I do nothing to change it.
It is like a curse I must endure.
How much longer must this go on?
Do I hold onto this curse to
avoid more pain and heartbreak?
I have carried this curse for too long
to remember how you made me feel
all that time ago.

You are the warmth from
the sun for all these blooming
flowers in my heart

10:47 PM
14/5/23

Can you understand my hesitation?
No one has loved me as you have.
You give me everything and expect nothing in return.
My happiness seems to be your primary goal
and for that I am forever grateful.
Still, some days are harder than others.
I try not to let the pain and the heartbreak
get in the way but old habits die hard.
We all deserve to be loved, don't we?

We are at our
most vulnerable
when we are in love.
The power to ruin lies
in their hands because
our heart is open.

Even while you're gone,
You will remain in this heart
for you are the rhythm of its beat,
the source of its love and joy.
You are inseparable to this heart
as I am to yours
for we share the same
rhythm and blood.

I wish you
were still here
so that I could wrap
my arms around you
so that you can feel
all of this love
I have for you
but cannot say.

Dear diary;
I have always felt this disconnection
with the rest of the world, with society,
but that is nothing new.
I thought I would have overcome it by now,
but sadly, that is not the case.
It has lingered over me for as long
as I can remember and I have never
felt more alone than right now.
This alienation to everyone I meet,
who have loved me and those I loved
leaves me with an inescapable shame.
I still have not found myself
and I don't think I ever will.