Where are you?
They buried you
in a sleep in the air
so I must mourn you
everywhere;
even with this poem,
this cenotaph,
this memorial
to the notches
you left inside
your son.

Walking on air with that buzzing feeling all around you. Looking at people but not really seeing them.
Someone is talking. I can hear them. I realize it is me. Some odd kind of fevered chatter without approval.
My skin belongs to a stranger. It’s not mine to my touch. I’m turned inside out with no barrier of protection.
I’m a recognized bystander watching me through a kaleidoscope.  I witnessed my falls that came out of nowhere.
A slow good-by and now walking a straight line. But I have fond memories of my phase of delirium. It set me loose.

I've seen sides of you
I wish I could erase

can I tell you
it's hard to love you

I wish I could forget
all the bad things you do

behind closed doors
after everyone is gone

I see everyone take off their mask
I still keep mine on

I'm terrified
I know too much

kings
slowly rot into monsters

queens perfume themselves with
secrets and defeat

their lies are heavy
I watch them fall through the earth