Down came
the heavy rain
***** coal
coloured puddles

and you and Helen
stood under
the railway bridge

she clutching her doll
Battered Betty
close to her chest

you staring out
at the grey rain
thunder and lightening

making Helen scream
and clutching
your arm

her thick lens spectacles
steamed up
and hiding her eyes

I hate lightening
she said
what if it strikes us dead

it won't
you said
putting on

the brave boy routine
not while
you're with me

she didn't look
convinced
to a great degree

and peered out
through her smeary spectacles
when will it stop?

she said
it's not near
you said

you have to count
the seconds
between the lightening

and the thunder
and that should tell you
how far away it is

she took off her glasses
can you wipe these for me?
so you took the spectacles

and wiped the glass
on the end
of your shirt

until clear and clean
and handed them
back to her

and she put them on
that's better
she said

peering out
at the rain
and the puddles

on the cobblestones
of the short road
and the bomb site

nearby
you counted
after the flash of lightening

and the bang of thunder
10
you said

it's 10 miles away
she peered out again
at the grey sky

and pouring rain
seems right above us
she said

you gazed at her
standing there
drowned looking

with her hair
hanging over her face
and stuck

to her head
her dress clinging
to her tightly

her shoes sodden
you felt heavy
as if you'd swam

in a lake
and climbed out
fully dressed

with your jeans
and shirt wet through
clinging to you

I'm cold
she said
her teeth beginning

to chatter
her knees knocking
she clutching

Battered Betty
you put an arm
around her

and held her close
smelling the damp
the rain

the peppermint
on her breath
come

you said
let's go home
before we catch

a death
and you took her hand
and ran along

the cobblestones
stepping by puddles
and down Meadow Row

her fingers becoming cold
her hand wet
and slippery

and she beside you
clinging on
to her doll

by its swinging arm
making its one
good eye open

and close
like one feeling sleepy
wanting to doze.

She wiped her glasses
and put them on
and lay in bed
looking towards the window
she'd hardly slept

all night
the light brought
a new day
Sunday with church bells

from across the way
and the trees outside
the window swaying
Elaine still felt tired

she had tried not
to think of the boy John
who had talked to her
at school on the Friday

but every time
she turned over
he was there
talking about birds

about the skills
of the sparrow-hawk
or some such talk
had he really

talked to her?
doubts came
maybe it was just
a game he was playing

some big tease
put up to by others
to make laugh
and others please

she repeated word on word
sentence after sentence
trying to recall
his tone of voice

and those hazel eyes
of his peering
into her head and thoughts
God forbid

somethings are best hid
she thought
she'd got through
the previous day

without mentioning
about the boy to anyone
even during meals
when conversations

were strong
and always going on
she'd kept quiet
sat there staring

at the clock on the wall
or with vacant stare
the first boy
who had actually

spoken to her
and not verbally
abused or called
her names

or sniffed her school coat
and holding a nose
pretended to collapse
and die

OK
so she was frumpy looking
and shy
and the glasses

weren't her best feature
and her hair was hard
to manage and keep neat
but did he really talk to her

by the fence at school?
did he really touch her
as he went off  
to get on the bus?

closing her eyes
she tried to
picture him again
the brushed back hair

the wrinkled forehead
the hazel eyes peering
the undone school tie
the unbuttoned shirt

that inch or so
of naked skin
and turning over in bed
she tried to hold on

to the image
inside her head
and snuggle down
between blankets

and sheets
with head on her pillow
Mum said it's time
to get up for breakfast

her younger sister said
no wasting the time
daydreaming
and then she had gone

out the door
leaving it ajar
time to get up
to get through the day

wondering if he'd be there
tomorrow and would
he talk again
or was that just

a one off
conversation
a bit of a lark
but she recalled him

once more
as she rose from bed
and walked
to the bathroom to wash

and wake
and even when
she returned
and began to dress

watching her frumpy frame
in the cupboard mirror
her small *******
her hair in a mess

she kept his image
in mind
trying to find
the place where

he touched her
sensing along
with her fingers
biting her lip

this new sensation
this opening up
like being on the edge
of a new world

wondering what it was
she felt inside and along her skin
was it natural
or was it a sin?

garrett,
did you know that
you were there when the
numbness started?
i looked over to you and said
with him gone
i have nothing
to angst over
you laughed
isn't that a good thing?
and at the time i felt
relieved.

i don't believe in being in love
i believe that there are people i love
and there are people you love
and there are a few people we love
but we will never love
each other
because that's
a fairytale --
-- and everything else in them
was false.