i want to be like the bee
and sting you everytime you say
i feel nothing
i'll only get to sting you once, really
i'd die for you and it scares me
but what's more terrifying than living for nothing
and if i do -- die for you -- i'll know:
a little stinger
the remains of myself
will always be part of me,
will always be part of
you.

all i can say is
i'd really like to know
what it feels like
to wear your shirt
to sleep.

i told them i want to
be somebody
and they asked why
i couldn't just be me
can't you see?
being myself
just isn't
enough
i need to be Somebody
capital
s

i miss a lot of people daily and
sometimes i think about living
until i'm eighty
like this
constantly clinging
to the past
i'm not sure when i became
gatsby
and you became
daisy
but i'm realizing i miss nick, too
and jordan
and every guest
who came to my parties

is it time for me to get
shot
yet?

people seem to think that when someone's anorexic,
they'll know, because the person will never eat
i find this funny because
my best friend never ate a single day at lunch
and when they accused her of being anorexic
all i could think of -- as i was eating my lunch
-- was how dizzy i got
from just walking up the stairs.

i hated voicemail
until i met you
now i'd be lying if i said
your stale voicemails
didn't save my life
today.