Dear Anne,

Again, like any other day, I found myself thinking about you. I was looking through our photos over and over almost every day… Both a pleasure and a torture for I smile at seeing how huge our smiles were in these immortalized memories, and I shiver for I miss every second of it. I miss those times that I can see you first thing, or any time we'd want to. I have never even eaten out ever since I got here… For I can never take a moment eating on my own, when I know on the other side of the world, we (almost) always had our breakfasts, lunches and dinners together. I worry from where I am. I fear that you have been working too much or too late, or that you have been sick for days or has been skipping meals… And worse, I feel bad for I should be there taking care of you. Yes, it pains me to know that there's this one person that takes center stage trying to do what I should be doing. It pains me every single day… That I, from where I am, could only do so much to hear you or let you feel my presence while she can just see you and talk to you and hear your sweet voice any time she might wish to. It eats up every inch of the inside of me. And I have been consumed fully.

But I endure. Yes, it is painful… But my love for you still remains greater than this pain. I will continue living each day becoming better for myself, for you.. and for us. I will continue loving you from where I am, making you feel how much you are loved from miles away. It is a challenge, yes. But what could be a greater feeling than knowing you are fighting through the distance, that you are defying every meter, mile and kilometer of it just to send my love to you? That I bask in this pain, just to make you feel loved, thought of, missed and dreamt about.

I always tell you that I have high hopes… that I have faith. But just to let you know, I am also hanging on to courage. :)

And yes, this is because you are all worth it, Anne. Just a few more days. I am counting down.

You are always loved, Anne. Always.

Your Mims.

I have loved before, numerous times even.

But I have never been in love, until there was you.

It was different, to love was just to like the feeling. To feel secure, to know that out there, you have that one person you can just hang out with or to assure you that you are not alone. Sometimes you even tend to love because just because you don't want to be lonely.

With you it's something else. I was in love. It was about the sense of security despite the distance. It was about knowing that we will not falter even if we don't get to see each other every day, or if we get to be with other people and not just each other. It was being whole by yourself, yet you become much better when together. Who would want tho halves just to form a whole? Two wholes is always greater than 2 halves. It was about being secure with making future plans because you know that whatever happens, whatever we will be going through... We know we will make it happen. It was about imagining a life together and working out how to spend the rest of our lives. There may be arguments, fights, yes. But these aren't for the purpose of breaking us, but instead, were meant to make us even stronger. To deepen our bonds, to know more about each others' weaknesses and use them as stepping stones for a better relationship up ahead.

And yes, I could go on and on... But one thing is clear. I have come to realize that you are indeed, once in a lifetime. I would love to spill some more thoughts but I will be reserving them for sometime else... ;) But rest assured, you will hear them. Or better yet, you will feel them.

Anne, remember that someone out here is in love with you. Deeper and deeper every day. Always, until the rest of her lifetime. :)

Yours and only yours,
Mims

Di mawari
kung bakit
bukas pusong kumakapit
sa di kasiguraduhan
at di katiyakan.

Nagmamahal
sa kabila ng sakit,
sa likod ng kandilang
minsang naupos...
Ngunit ngayo'y
nag-aalab sa damdamin.

Kung kaya't
narito ako,
iniaalay ang buong puso
ititigil ang mundo
makasama ka lamang.

Ilang sandali na lamang, Anne... At mayayakap ka na. :)

Iyong iyo lamang,
Mims :)

Clench.
You hold my heart in your hands.
It beats as it feels you,
it beats every beat only for you.

Grip.
I hold on to every remaining string
with no fear
of how bad
or deep I may fall
if these strings break.

Tight.
I am not letting go.
I will hold on, I will endure.
I will fight for the best thing I have ever had.
For my greatest love.
And prove
that we're worth it...
even if it takes a lifetime.

Hope.
For I know that we can and will get through this.
We will triumph.
We will come out stronger.
And live our happily ever after.

:)

Dear Anne,

It was magical, being able to lay out my soul for you when we talked. I knew there were so much more to say, I knew there were so many words and sentences left unsaid... But I also know that I will commit my lifetime for those. To make you hear and feel all I have for you. I am hurt, yes. Emptied out, even... To know that out there, there are people who have seen what I have seen in you... And might have even fallen for it. And I can't blame them... You have a million and one (and I keep on discovering more) qualities that I just keep on falling in love with every day. But again, I am not giving up. :)

I will rise every morning with a hopeful heart, that my heart's whispers will reach you. I will hold on tight, for I know that we can go through this... That I have solid faith on what we have and we can still have.

You are always loved, Anne. Always thought of... :)

Yours always,

Mims

Dear Anne,

It's the 9th here... And still, I celebrate this day like how we always do. I was going through our photos early in the morning, remembering the conversations we had during these immortalized memories. I remember how gentle your voice sounds like or how cute you laugh when we share a joke, or the meal we shared and the stories we told each other. I remember our very first "date" - in a cafe in our campus, where you made me guess what your favorite dessert was. Believe it or not, despite my goldfish memory of names, events or places, our memories will always be vivid in my mind and heart. Every day and every night I still smell your shampoo, or your natural scent when I wake up or before sleep.

And I know now, the 9th there, you may be going on with your own ways. Working, hanging out with friends... Driving, whatever it may be. But please do remember that here, I am consistently remembering each and every detail of this special day, of what it celebrates. For I know that the 9th will not just be an ordinary day, for in this day, I was once given the privilege to own, and be owned, by a very beautiful woman. This day was the start of the rest of my life. We could have been faced with struggles, trials. But I know ever since April 9th of 2011, the universe decided to write a fairy tale.

And this story is yet to unfold.

You are always loved, Anne.

All yours,

Your Mims.

Sometimes
you surprise yourself -
when you start doing things
that seem
irrational, extraordinary, out of the box
for the one you love.

You go beyond your comfort zone
try to do the unthinkable
just to be able
to reach out and make her day better
even from thousands of miles away.

And most of the time,
you also surprise yourself
that each waking day
you never stop thinking about
what you could do for her next.
Not because you are obliged to,
but
just because.

And with these little things,
is a very big hope
that somehow, in some way...
you were able to brighten up her day. :)

I've got surprises up my sleeve, Anne. All for you. :)

Always yours,

Mims