I asked you what you thought about my poem...and you said I loved the way you played with your words....
....as my heart froze....as my mind froze
Freeze...a frozen little paralysis as the mind was overjoyed to finally pour out to another soul...
First poetry reading ever and you say that....
Pity threw upon me...
As my heart became angry....
Soulless nights....crying....pain....michael...Zayn
The moment I've  been waiting for...
And allowed my happiness to form in someone else's hands....
I guess I am to blame...
As expectation calls my name...
Do I pick one or do I not....
So tempting man how do I stop...

I was scared unprepared...
....a glance back took me back to neverland.
That same glance burned a pathway in my soul.
Stairway to heaven I may say...

Thank you...
For calling on me as I hid...
Thank you for all of your stares and mocks...
Thank you for spitting in my face.
Thank you for your pity.
...Thanks truly.
....
Your deed has directed me to my destined path.
....truly a task in the process
But you have allowed pathways in my soul to form
...because of you I had to choose for myself
...I had to choose between my heart and my mind
....i know I'll look back and understand your purpose fully.
But now I simply thank you.
Avroir until then.
When our worlds collide again...
Or never....
In a dream possibly.

Isolation...
I desert myself
On this deadly as pirate place...
It's grimy...as I continue to drink not champagne but poison
...but this place so familiar...
That it seems impossible to let go
It's so **** comfortable
I know every ally
Every up and every down
....and I refuse to
But then again do I have a choice...
Between life and death
....physically yea
Spiritually...still a yes
....but difficulty
Challenges
Are there to be challenged
Fear may block the passage sometimes...
But my God goes through the tunnel with me...
He is my light and my salvation
...I may be lost between life and comfort
But...
I honestly still don't know

Michael....mike mike mike
Is all I hear...
....I see a second chance with James in you
I feel as if I'm back in the 8th grade feeling cute and loved...
....but with that comes mass insecurity and overthinking
With that comes a hole in my heart
My soul
My mind
With that comes a missing identity
....everything I worse fear
But baby if it's meant to be it will be...
I refuse to allow fear to control me
I choose to let God
God?
Yes my lord my rock and my redeemer
...my love, my everything...
He is like my life
He holds my life
My destiny
My hope
My fate...
Yes God I trust in him
My Heavenly Father

Within my tiny innocent eye...
Lies a sea of wonder...Of a little desert. Water. And spirit
It captures a story with every piercing glance
...and every photo holds an emotion
...emotions in which the brain is ashamed of...
Crazy how much someone...events can traumatized and enslave the brain and almost the heart...
Crazy...
But my heart yearns as I stand the grounds of New York
....it yearns for truth
....with every breath it yearns out to me
It cries I hear it...
I finally hear it
...and that is truly a miracle
....I see angels in my path
I mentally see them
I know in my heart...for it tells me
But mind will you let me...
...you know what ***** you...
I want this and it's possible...
I'm going to get it.

Opening up....old flowers to my heart
....am I right or am I not I don't know
...but I feel bridges will burn down once I accept the pathway
And slowly may they slowly disappear...
If not...ok I'll be fine