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Miley Cyrus Feb 2015
My past is so ****
....then again deadly
...it's alive yet dead
...how can that be
When I look back
...l
I see beautiful blue eyes staring back up at me
...in the most romantic way ever
In awe of me....my body...my existence
....but I also see pain...hurt
Mainly insecurity
...of a girl dying for validation to her existence
Dying to fit in, dying to be cool, dying to be what everyone else wants....
But I look back and see how real it all felt
...how can someone be hurt and happy
I was limping that whole entire year believing I was happy...
And now I crave this validation
...I crave the feeling of being wanted
...of feeling ****
Of feeling the warm embrace of love
But does all of that truly exist
....no it doesn't
.bur how do I let go of something so warm
That seems like the only thing keeping me alive...
Letting go of my comfort...
Is the journey up a rise
Slowly begins in my stride...
Then rides through this journey of life
...
So yeah 8th grade was a year...it really stood out and now that I think if it...what if it was meant to be the turning point for me...what if it was meant to happen, meant to be...what if the way I felt...my pain...was all to lead up to now this very moment for my turning point in history...for my reconciliation...what if James is a symbol...and what if he's not...was there a lesson to be learned or simply just another heartbreak...questions?
Miley Cyrus Feb 2015
James...
My past
Luke....
To popular crowd...
Insecurity
Sexuality...
Past coming for the ****
...but me allowing it in
...it's coming pretty hard and hella obvi
But I...
Who has been called a ****
And laughed along with the bully
....has allowed the world to eat her alive
And knows what she knows now
...that our world isn't so narrow and small
...that I have a way out
I refuse to return from whence I came
Today is a new day
Right now is a fresh moment
But is my mind ready...
Question I ask?
Most importantly...
Am I ready and do I want....
Cuz if the beholder doesn't feel or do
Thoughts and words are pointless
Right now...today I've been in a mood that I've been in for a minute now...and ya know life creeps up on you and it will, there's no running away from trouble or your fears because they happen and it's life....hey...but I had to ask myself the question....am I in the mindset for Change...do I want this? Am I motivated? Have I had enough? Like what's going on...I go through the same **** everyday...complain and wonder why I'm like this...I don't know if I like the pain or what but idk I guess I'm waiting for this powerful moment but I understand that it's up to me....
Miley Cyrus Feb 2015
James...
You made me feel amazing
....hint made
In the past
And present me loves to hold your hand
...loves to imagine a world with you once more
...you made me feel secure
...it's nothing you did bad...
But looking back I realize what love doesn't look like
...but what insecurity looks like
...more specifically my insecurity...
All I wanted to be was white
With silky hair
With little cute tendrils
I squeakified my voice to be "not black"
And dressed in a revealing way for you...
And you fell for everything I wasn't
...and to this day
You still reminisce throughout my mind
...you lerk
And you don't stink
You don't make me sad anymore
...you just make me feel good again in times of distress
...and I see you in every guy I see
And I fear love because of you
...I fear hurt
...and I see 8th grade again
...but you know what
Thank you
Thank you the past because I have an amazing
..new beginning
I can be born again
I can be the realist form of me...
Thank you
Nice life...
Miley Cyrus Feb 2015
My body feels tired
But my heart is not yet satisfied
The body repeats soothing words lasting....for seconds
Than gone....
Like that
It's like I don't know what real is
I don't know what I want
Who the **** am I...I ask
Well I'm who I allowed myself to be
....I'm who decided to shy away from times of redemption
I decided to run to my mamas room when I was afraid
....I did it to me
So is it really deception of the mind
Or am I just afraid to accept my reality
...because I am real
As I pinch myself and cringe
...not the physical pain
But the pain of enduring Mother Earth
My child it says...
This poem isn't for the audience...
It's for you
And I say...
I've had the same morning for years
Deja ******* vu Mother Earth....
What a mother you are
How can you withstand the cries of your children...
No reply
...just the birds
The trees
...and your soul
Just a fun I guess poem..some real emotion I put into it, I mean I always feel artificial, like I lead a fake life and I do....but I guess I allowed it...I am the beholder and I have the choice every day on my path..on my faith...and I decided that I don't want to live this artificial life that doesnt exist.because right now is beautiful...as cheesy as it sounds but it is right now is what I get....what we get...
Miley Cyrus Feb 2015
I stand
I'm here
I'm focused
I'm in food faith
I'm everything I wasn't yesterday
Right now is a new moment
Today is a new day
New breath
Come join me
In your differences....
Plus my uniqueness
And well coexist
And were gonna be okay with that
....and I'll write my poetry
Breathe deeply
And change the world...
Change my destiny
Because it starts with one...
It's starts from within
A soul
The soul of the beholder
Miley Cyrus Feb 2015
Gross ******* I am
I do ****** hand stands
By myself
I have like 0 real friends
...no best frands
I'm extremely socially awk
I'm weird according to society
And I've yet to accept it
I hide in the past for comfort
Who am I?
Miley Cyrus Feb 2015
Snow falls gently from the sky
As I sit quietly in the ******* dark
Roses are red
I am blue
It's valentines day
What about you?
What about I?
I who has tried...
To stay alive
Stay above the waters...
But here I pray...
For long I've awaited
But right now something that's been long in my face
Has never forsaken me
Amen
Because turn the hell up
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