Like
...dude
random writing eh
.....like theres a tear forming in my eye as i say this
poetry is my escape
from my dreadful world
not yours
from people, my own ******* Mother....
not appreciating all that i am
people even those who "accept"
or dont give a ****....
ya know my world is far from perfect
in my world all i see are eyes on me....
all eye see is fear, pity.....
pretty much
...fake smiles
like pity for being black, sorrow in their eyes as they watch or fear of me taking their purse
.....i see disapointment
in the eyes of loved ones...
they sit and laugh
like im a joke
its like only i can truly give myself
what i desire
no man, no boy, no dude, nor dudet
can give me crap....
all the people in my world do
...is stare
they ******* stare
and i feel every emotion
of the people in the cars watching as i cross
as i walk down the stairs i see
as i write in my notebook isee
its like i live in a great world
but am distracted....
like i want to be free
but a burden is over me
....just laying there
and i put it there me
all me
i did
i told myself
and put the weight of obligation
on myself
but ya know what
to hell with that weight
to hell with my "world"
.......
truly
im just me
in a moment
...the moment
infinate moment
intricate moment....
oh hell ya
and ya know
....its hell
fire all over
maybe even worse
but....im kinda lovin it
its hell n back but....
its mine
i am free
its a weight meaning...
i can remove it whenever, whereever
if i want to......

My Moms a little *****....
all she does...
i mean stop
im not even in the mood for writing
like back the **** up off me ya little *****
go get some ******* friends
all u do is worry about me
on the school website 24 ******* 7
til you "saw" a 2 hour delay this morning
its like your my roomate
like an annoying *** buzing in my ear
i try to wasp you away
but its like your their
i dont feel comftorable even when i am
and im done with the unatural feelings
if its comftorable it is
...and if its not....
it isn....
ya know i dont even know why i stress...
like why...
why i even care
...like my feelings...
are my ******* feelings
....i do what i do....
i am who i am...
and its like?
like ya know....
like im in the shadows
but i have a big *** sparkly unicorn entertaining everyone
that either love it or hate
its like im fake as ****
but genuinly nice
but out of a sorta obligated way
like nice but ya know i dont wanna scare you off nice
or i dont want you to think im aggressive or anything nice
.....
you feel
its weird
my mind
...its like
whewwwwww
life tho.....

ya know little **** gurl
provin to ur bull that your better
and your doing better
a thot.......
just a thot....

So i just ya know browsed
and i got a little angry but...
**** the haters...
wannabe God's
but ya know i typed ******
and behold behold what popped up
like wow
got thinking
like a poem was like
they see my hoodie and assume da da da da da
..and whatever
and like in my daily life
i mean theres real ppl sure...
but
ppl see me
my skin, my beautiful ***** braided hair, and choose to see...
evil....
see a criminal..
just see the fear in their face...
its like im all they see in that hallway
like im bout to **** em or some ****
its reall weird
and i dont think anyone can get used to someone potraying them as a killer first sight...
its like either that..
or they just see bad...
they see a reason to pity
they wanna feel sorry for me and dont even know my story
...or if i even have a story
they see a criminal, a fool, *******, ugly chic, and a sob to feel sorry for..
ya know
and i think people just kinda stare...
they see me confident
...enjoying myself
..well pretending to
and they stare
oh yes
they stare
they try to...
but their drawn
like i actually did some wrong ****
and this the whole world im talkin about
everyone judging me
and putting me under one of those catergories
but you know some smile
"smile alright"
you know im not racist
i just feel the way i am is better
spare me your lame excuse girl
spare me
like ive seen it all
and its something that i used to hide
like i didnt see it
but i mean
those he cant handle
my boldness
can go **** themselves
cant handle my blackness
my "ghettoness"
my me'ness
then bye
its like yeah
this is me
life chooses not to go in my direction
simply because its a *****
and i mean life dont like perfect...
so what
..im still a rockstar
i got my rock moves
and i dont need you
..or is it help
but either
life is life
i lie..you lie
i **** up..you **** up
im scared ..your scared
you get it
life is full of many awkward situations...
and people
o the people
but life is so much more than that....
and everything else
...to me
its about exploring a world of wonder
and laughter
and flowers and rainbows
and smiles
and kisses
and love
and realness
its very real when you realise
...like literally in 2 seconds...
that i mean its not gonna be perfect ever
and your mind is built to try to picture the most perfectess crap ever
and it wants you to be happy
...thats all but
think....
allow yourself
to be in now...
not in anyone else's mind
but yours
because thats why its
your
im pointing at you
mind...

When i see a cute boy
...my heart melts...
like i gotta glimpse of heaven
but when ***** opens his mouth
...oh no
oh hell to the nawwwww
.....just everyone else
looking for big ***** judy
same old same old
...whats new
next...

Real is when you can admit that you dont smoke?
that you can admit your faults
...your flaws
with your heart
not your mind
...its the now
its pure
its better than *** ill tell you that
its so freeing
better than rainbows
but maybe not unicorns
...and glitter
but its a hell a lot better than going around faking a persona, being all big and bad for people who arent gonna matter truth....*******
snobs
maybe some some nice people
....but being real is focusing on you
on the now
and doing what you love now
if your afraid its not real
not real at all
however you want to interpret that...fine
but life...
i tell ya
is real
but at the same time not
its full of this ideal....picture
and everyone is adapted to think that this is what its about
that we gotta beat em...we gotta be better
to have worth
....and this is phony
its fake
.....
first of all
friends...they come, they go...gone
****
new ones appear
....same **** happens
come gone, maybe back, maybe forever
but they come and they go
but what stays forever is your soul
...you are not the people you **** with
the words you say
the age you are
the money you got
the clothes you wear
your house
your "race"
your whatever
.....you are not that
you are your soul
and you are different from the ***** next to you....
either your friend or your not so friend...
but you guys werent made to be the same
different souls
different souls
....and your friend
you probably wont see her
or associate in 2 years or more in your case
but...people come and go
...so put all your focus
...in bettering yourself
..for your sake
and the people you love...will love you regardless...
i mean if they truly do they'll accept you
so put all your energy
into living your definition
of the most perfect life ever
if it feels extremely weird
then stop everything your doing weird
...if you really wanna do this
..i dare you to just go for it
youlll thank yourself on your death bed
.....cuz life is not forever
and right now
i am 15...
ive never smoked
i have drank...not gonna lie
but.....i have a whole life ahead of me
to be whatever in the moment
soooooo.....
who cares if i lie about smoking ***
and hating it
who cares....
my life
my soul
is inevitable
and is mine
and i treasure it
as much as my hair...
and that my friends is very real for a young black chic in a world like this....

What the hell did you do to my song