The memories I have of her
are vivid - I recall meals we shared
years ago, the flavor in my mouth
is richer now, than it was then
The wine, pouring from her mouth
Like honey, like chopping onions
in the morning, I still hear her
knife hitting the board with each crack -
and when I woke up late, she said goodnight
Memories I have of her are volatile -
Like a red canister of gasoline
on my porch on the fourth of July
while birds build nests
I slowly burn myself to the ground

terror, terror everywhere
no time to stop and think

She - had a birthday recently,
and I didn't say anything.
She - got a new job recently, according
to LinkedIn.com, and I didn't say anything.
She - posted something ****** on Tumblr recently,
and I didn't say anything.
She - took a left on Main St. and stopped to get coffee,
(iced regular) - she paid cash, she dropped her straw
wrapper, she smiled and waved -
She - never saw me and I didn't say anything.

we would ride in a car
windows down and
smoke - and we would take turns
driving with our eyes closed -

once in awhile
people together create something greater
than good itself

i miss her like the
clouds drifting miss
an ocean crashes against the shore -
a child reaching for a red balloon is
like our lungs miss flames of the youth -
it's not that i don't want to smoke
and it's not that i cannot fly -
it's that i read an article once
that said if i quit before 26
it will be like i never started -
but now, with my lungs clean
and my mind cluttered, i wonder
if i ever should have started with you

witnesses say they heard you say
you were innocent -
unsuspecting audiences quiet to their devices
we were not kids running through fields anymore
we brushed with death breathing fumes
of hatred and virus, the body begins to deteriorate
like a hand soaked in a bowl of gasoline -
the moon falls behind the earth
as you smile until it returns