It is in my conscious stream to speak of restricted words
the kind, that hang off  your two separate lips quietly
that usually hold hands in that scrutinizing silence
the beauty of these two things my eyes find hard to hold

may you come to me on blazed days, and shivered nights
with the wisdom of owls, and teach me all the things life has taught you
and show me your scars from that faint childhood
and tell me about the beautiful lands you wish to immerse your body into


may I be blessed enough, that you - glorious you
sacrifice your time to simply stare at the immense turquoise of the sea with me
the veins in a leaf, the memories written on tomb stones

I hope to figure out the secret paths of your garden labyrinth  
to find your white beaches and leave but a footprint upon the shore of your inner arms

at night, I find the most joy in asking you to look at the stars
for when met with your eyes, they burn brighter and become shy with your beauty
they scatter and hide behind each other. The moon envies me.
She dances in the sky
gloriously.  

your hair unravels like a bush of silk
harmoniously tasseled out in the sun and when you smile
fruits of labor fall off the corners of your comely mouth
all of natures most passionate things are instilled in you
you are every season of the year
every phase of the moon and rotation of the sun
the rain that I stand under
the waterfall I fall asleep too
the immense darkness of the night that inspires me

your eyes taut, like black diamonds - your tears benitoite
even that from you is something to be admired
I wish to be a leafless tree standing somewhere
in the outskirts of your world

Tonight I write with the pale hands
of the loneliest creatures
Tonight I am explosive with the tales of my defeat
and the short comings of what I have to gain

Tonight I light my cigarette
and watch its smoke make love to the moon in the midnight sky
delicately it wraps around my fingers like a lover
the only thing keeping me company besides language

Tonight I am vulnerable, waiting to be haunted by a captivating
lock of eyes, dark and strong eyebrow expressions
a slight hesitation of enamored cheek bones and hands
that tell stories of kings and queens
stories of war/passion/starvation/survival

Tonight I am wrapped in my sadness
shedding all over me like a semi-transparent cloak
a mistress seen behind a fog of stagnant hope
I breathe in my wine
rub my tongue on my pallet
brush my hair behind my ear
massage my temples
exhale

Tonight I tell my wild eyes and veins to be patient
I ask my trembling soul to bare with me in silence
I beg my vicious feet to remain still, please do not run away
come my lush heart, remember to keep beating
expand by black lungs, keep breathing

Tonight, there is something that has finally broke through
the message pleading for my attention from you
you are a storm, awakening yet filled with rain
how can I love you, mourn you, conceal you in this poem
from so far away

Tonight I have mastered the language of tears, just some more
yes most of the time my life is miserable, but when  laughter sparks a fire in me
I am the happiest white soul under the blazing sun
the warmth that fills me, can make the orchids smile - can make rocks fall in love

Tonight I sleep once more alone
in a small bed that I call my own
in a haven of singular sorts
this place I call home

incredibly potent female
who’s face is the shape of my empty heart
your empty eyes, sit beside my collar bone
your rich fingers like black crows along my hip
calmly shaped gestures shriek madness
into the night where black haired women
fall in love with the beasts inside
feverish, bitter alcoholic tongues

stand beside each other like two trees
growing in the same forest
re-living those shooting stars
that were never seen

all black is the calmest gesture
alluring - inviting, kindly asking to stay away
the streets were filled with chest's that explode with art
a woman walks by with her ex-lover
she looks at him when he does not pay attention
she wishes he would rest in peace
upon leaves that fell from the tree they grew together

I stare at my fingers stained with red wine
I stare at lips stained with red wine
I do not want to kiss them

we walked into one gallery, filled with color
lingering too explosive for me at the moment
I wanted something slow
that creeps through the blood like injecting a needle
something subtle, infused with a hiding passion
penetrating and brutal
instilling hope
regaining fear
grieved by reality
stolen by the ethereal

I wanted to experience something that stirred in my chest
moving around my arms and back hungrily
looking for something that was lost, or perhaps never there
wild emotion in the shape of a snake infusing me
with a poison that is too sweet to ******
and too bitter to live through

I walked these streets, passed by these galleries
in a desperate attempt to seek this inspiration
this rage
this entity
this sadness
this satisfaction
this sensitivity
this coldness
this shame
this pride

I left with the feeling of being hallow
and realized perhaps that which I seek
perhaps cannot be found in a painting
or a photograph
cannot be mastered in physical form

that foreign sensation  that starves
that foreign sensation that fills you like a glass of wine
is sleeping in the eyes of another person

I am the night
casting darkness upon the sky
to cry your tears for you and  
put a death to your demise
I will rinse your hands, when you are lifeless
lay inside of me - close your eyes

I am your sun
giving you life, striving to make your seeds grow
I hold my soft rays out to you, please - come
casting eminence upon your sadness
putting a warmth in your madness
I have so much to give you

Nothing can break me from you
I am your book, your lines are written within me
you are the farmer who pressed the grapes with your bare feet
and I am your wine, the product of your labor
here to ease your senses at the end of your day
forget about that rough past, give it to me to swallow

I am your wolf, black and white
I am your lion
I am your army, rest your tiered hands upon my back
I am your proud slave
I kiss your ankles

you are my knuckles
you are my veins- blue and incoherent
you are the vitality that strikes so viciously in me
keeping me breathing on this vast planet
trembling spirits, I softly place my head beneath yours
calmly like sea **** floating in salt water

you are every faint color, drained and impotent
so filled with death and soft laughter
you filter out streaks of exuberant light
blinding me with its brightness
oh when you smile, the starving are no longer hungry
the revolting become the most beautiful things
you turn a beasts heart into a hero's

you are the wisdom that flows through the natives
light like a feather, you move around hungrily on
these cloud sheets.


my eyes are so filled with your eyes
I am a tree standing in the forest you came from
I am a flower in your field
I am a drop of water in your ocean
I am your armor and your shield

kiss me tightly, hang your soft touches at my door
I will bleed these thoughts
till my hearts dust
and soul
sore

days like these I wish to fashion the sun into a dress and wear it
tuck my eyes under the water and breathe,
I can pretend to do these things
I hold the trees in my palms and watch my skin turn into leaves
I am the dirt and I am more than clean
I am black
I am white
I am red
I am wise
and I am green

mislead and content
driven, far fetched, and bent
I remember that night when whatever we had left, we spent
but it didn't matter that we didn't have money to go out
because we went out to the woods and we set up our tent
we forgot about our superficial laments and immersed in natures scent

I don't need the buildings or the cement
**** the bills and **** the rent
and **** all that technology that they continuously invent
it makes us forget what we are

I would like to find ears who will listen to me as I vent
about a catastrophic race who has forgotten its blood
who don't let their children go out and play in the mud
who see no beauty in the flowers bud
children who have been completely devoured
by this consuming technological flood

I close my eyes and I hear nature whisper its calm lines to me
she tells me that she is sad and that more of us should rise to find
a solution to this anarchy
that by the day, lives that live within her are becoming endangered species
the dieing trees next to me nod their heads and agree

she reminds me of the starving children
the dieing men
and the tortured women
my hands feel more empty than before
as I feel helpless

but she said, we can all do one thing
love true life, find its answers and upon finding these answers the
world herself becomes a better place
and  unlike anything else that is ageless
she screams love, accept, and appreciate every race
every religion and try to see the innocence in every face
reach out humankind, hands together tangled in a embrace
smile and throw your hands into your universes infinite space
and remember that it is not a specific country
but the earth itself that is your birthplace

remember that it is not only the offspring of your mother and father
but every human is a brother or a sister
realize the horrible truths of our society, open your minds up
and learn how to accept and be braver
only by accepting these things that seep between government lines
can we manifest energies that will expose them
so that more people believe
so that more people rise
and more people see
I dare you, to not be deceived; life says
cause ignorance sleeps in bliss
and though this truth may make you grieve
my child it is better to be wise
then to be
naive

so come with me, life says; take my hand
don't pack your bags
spread your wings and fly to the true homeland
swim in my oceans naked and dig your body into my sand
feel your heart sing
and your soul expand
now you are truly bathing

time comes slower now when it comes to aging
and here people take pride in their wrinkles and gray hair
in their creases they hold many years of happiness and despair
wisdom, and many moments simply loving the raging air
words and silence become one
remember always that the most beautiful things are wordless
and this life is full of scriptures that you cannot see
but that you can feel with every pore on your body
your third eye has opened and your 6th sense has finally came to be
now intuitive, you see beyond what we knew to be beauty
let go of that hardship I beg you
let go of that worry
let go of the angry
let go of that army
dust off that ashy debris

and come into this world gently and calmly

.

Je t’aime, mais j’ai en moi la mort
and then I smiled when the words committed
suicide off your pale tongue
jumping into an abyss of falter in my
pit of emotion killing themselves within me
I cant stare at you for too long
because your pain is far beyond
striking, and I feel like
my glance might hurt you,
maybe burn a hole through your skin
passioned by the existence
of your hands and the body
you have marked, I understand
through our similar experiences
the love that manifests within
our cement bodies
outlined in a rush
spoken of in a small hush
I stroke my fingers through
your hair which has been tinted
by the sun, and I feel tragic
give me all that pain
mon amour so I can hide it
so that I may extinguish it
with my small woman hands
and my small woman heart
there are no words of happiness
that exist to explain how
my being became abrupted and
fell in this heap that might
last as long as the breaths I
take while standing next to you
I feel more beautiful when I
lay next to you
I feel humble in your
kitchen full of broken things
and peeling paint
lets take our smiles
and mix them slowly
until our colors become one
separately whole, I kiss you
and smile as I silently hear our
songs of sorrow playing together in harmony
and the notes are changing and
resemble something of the
universe and its vast space

something endless

you are the toska breeding in me like vicious flowers
cannas perhaps lotus or bleeding hearts
haunting the excruciating longing in my sinking chest
a calming and white haunting

I hear a thud in the middle of my body and it seems
that my heart levels itself in between my dimmed ribs
so that it may nervously burst in my core
to let that beautiful yellow childlike  sun into my body

what am I without you, a weltering raindrop
on top of a dark wooden roof
falling into the rustic mud while nobody is watching
being absorbed into the earth while nobody
cares

when I spoke my voice was hallow
and now you fill my speech and the streaks of tunes from my neck
like a starving man who by the grace of God has been blessed
with the feast of kings and queens

the phantom artist of something like a never ending dream
the gentle spirit
the serene incubus

you
daydreamer of withering beauty
heartless and genuine
I rest my smile upon your spine
I suffocate into your talent
of a deep and barren like litost

your calm ocean
as mine
filled with creatures only our imaginations
can begin to decipher
a tender arena of hearts and fowl play
you have taught me more about myself
I am bathing in beauty
drowning in a glorifying deep silk

I would bring my last weeping words  in a coffin
with  dark and rich embroidery resembling
that of your driven eyes
for a simple brush of your hand
upon my cheek

A simple woman, sitting by the window sill
watching the dust glimmering in the beams of sunlight
that peak through her broken curtains.
she catches them with her tongue.
she forgets to put her undergarments on usually when she wears a dress
and alone she loves to be naked.

A simple woman who wakes up in the morning
and washes her face, examines herself in the mirror
one minute convinced she is beautiful and the next pale and daunted
the water slowly runs down her neck

she is electrical with remorse,  fondled by regret
she is enamored by the new day
she wants to lay in her bed forever
she cannot wait to kiss the sun

her mind will make your soul feel -light/cool wind/calm.
her heart .fleshy -copious, and pregnant with deadly bombs

her hands press down like the dictator in his high
her hands press down like the mothers upon a new born

black and white things make their way down
like oil snakes, leaving impressionable trails behind
this mirror that she stares into
behind all the admirable things she has tasted
she examines her mouth
the creature that has pranced upon vicious moments
the one that restrains itself from brutal emotional death

some of her days are a rise above phenomenal planets
she throws her arms in the sky and dances every step she knows soaking wet
enthralled, blistered and covered in the masquerade of her tears
usually she is empty, hallow - engraved with speechless anecdotes of
her most inspiring times,
under the blazed moon
her back glimmers - her skin gives off a light cool
the stare in her eyes, makes every bone in your body
turn to ice, beware of her because sometimes
she is too nice

a simple woman, who will make the black heart turn white
a simple woman who can make ****** fall in love
a simple women who has
died  

she walks into the grocery store
people do not stare correctly, or never stare at all
either way she is discontent ----- rarely people stare with proper eyes
and when they do, things go missing
her memory vanishes- her turmoil falls deeper into the grave yard
she is new

she is a simple woman
she sings after she smokes too much, and does not eat enough sometimes
she enjoys making love to books and giving birth to new ones
she melts at the thought of a good poem
and withers away at the sight of others misfortune

eradicated at age 7, combined by ruckus and 80's music
John Lennon, a blonde grandmother. Greetings
and fingers that almost touched

I have a collection of old birthday cards,
and kept the items that I almost died in
shriveled roses and vintage candles

A simple woman, breaking at dawn with the hour
coolly breathing in the midnight disaster
smiling to absolutely nothing in the world

the edges of your face burn like tattered corners on streets that are washed away by tears
your fingers like the letters in my poetry blaze like trembling sun rays, glittering in my eyes
leaving streaks of yellow intimate memories behind
dreamy skin tone ride the waves of soft scents underneath my eye lashes. Breathe.
crying laughter upon the golden sky
raised by tears and late night summer dinners alone/
I gathered your favorite songs and composed a heart of those pretty notes
so that I can play for you at all hours of those short nights
laying next to you and hearing the moon in your chest sink into child like darkness

a face dug into the pillow. A brief gathering for coffee.
5 goodbye kisses.
and a broken anchor tied to my ankles
every time you had to leave
why couldn't I be born next to you
on the same bed under the same sky

our hearts stand like old cities that have been destroyed
by war, and defeat

black and white, the rats infest our streets
the rain water trails down the sidewalk
the buildings are full of death
the ground mourns for the burden placed upon it

and we die
we wither away
we wither away

Isolated in each others mourning.

I sustain a mirrored courage of the earth
staggering posed like two humans who saw
the world in each others eyes for only a few seconds
the contagious feeling bleeds throughout my consciousness
and then leaves at the tipping of the hour
grunting and ashamed
we are each others burden
each others disaster

I try to lift my arms in the air with broken shoulders
while a melting metal falls on the sides of my neck
my collar bone twists while I carefully hold my steady breathing
so that my rib cage does not explode
my eyes closed shut
the bones in my fingers holding on for dear life
veins blue like the sea of our dreams
I feel every ounce of blood tremble in my chest
I feel every cell in my body fight for my survival
I feel my immunity perish
A shriek comes up my pit from the core of my small body
it was as if every heart that had ever beat stopped in sequence
as if the world had found its place in nothingness
and was drowning in silence

I fall
onto a house made out of black brick
empty and creative with its own darkness
its striking absence of light
its livid and ebony coal rubbing against me
welcoming me to the safety of the place made for those
who were no longer able to hold on
shadowy and starless with its own language of mute
its strain and and distressed fever

the thick air has become my companion
the hard icy floor, and the raven walls
the windows are mute and let in no salvation
to whatever beauty may be left throbbing on the outside

I have become a slave to my own pain
I begin to rub my body against it
I let the poison drip delicately like art from my tongue
I let it run down my inner arms
wrists
and then slowly off my fingertips
onto my stomach
and then lower
I churn

I am expressionless
the satisfaction of finally spreading my body
of finally learning how to adorn these black waters
to drink the toxins, alone
makes me shiver
a smirk manages to escape my cracked lips
my broken cheeks
my pale and black eyes

In the corner I sit naked and shudder
something dark and slippery falling off the ends of my hair
I rub the fluid and examine it in between my fingers

I bare no protection for it is not needed
I am no longer afraid
those who strangle now fear me
rancid
******
skulls roll off my spine and line themselves perfectly like little school boys

screams echo from my pores
I have no recollection of what was of me before I came here at first
I am only content to have found this haven

but after sometime  I grow feverish
repeatedly I find myself in alabaster boredom
I want to escape

I want to feel warmth other than mine
something light
like the painters brush upon his canvas
like a morning wave upon sand that sinks beneath your feet like flour
like two little girls playing with each others hair
like the petite smile a lover tries to hide
like the innocence I once had

but the windows of my world are shut
and this place is placid and hallow - numbing

I tear my skin open with as little as a flinch
break my bone
and sharpen it against the rough walls surrounding me
my blood seeps into the floor like venom
scattering in thin lines
suddenly my body becomes more connected with this world
with this tyranny

but I refuse to stop

everything engulfs me
there is no whispering
there is no talking
but I hear something telling me that it loves me
begging me not to leave
humming in what feels like a beautiful witches tongue

I stop
and remember the nights I spent here
how delightfully lonely and mysterious they were
how my heart had been injected with their air and finally became paralyzed
how hungry I was for more of the thickness and the monstrosities
how it had taken me so much strength to finally give up
to finally leave, come here and accept that this is my fate
far away from any source of light where my body felt heavy and torpid
remote and listless there had been nothing to worry about because
I had become a dead creature
far from mortal

but then I remember warmth
and continue to file my bone that has been made
as hard as diamond by pain and coldness

I spear into the walls and break them
spread my  bat wings
and fly away from that world

an afterglow behind me
while the universe sings its traditional song of the hearts revival

tonight the threshold has been reached
I have climbed the highest mountain of desperation for peace
believe me not when ghosts speak tales of mountains of cruelty
I have been there as well

tonight I shall crucify the monster that was born in me
through your frigid hands
and I shall crucify his mother

tonight things I never thought could be done, will happen
and I will walk away with water on my shoulders
walk away with a drought in my eyes
I will not shed salt for this anymore

tonight I will be moved by things that I have yet to expeirence
things like relentless exuberance at midnight alone
drenched in the company of my own hands
nothing can tear me apart from myself

tonight I will drown

I will burn

I will remember nothing

my mind went white
amongst tiered humans walking like dying elephants.

there are other worlds. other minds. other heart break.
like the needle that sewed my skin when it came apart
there is constant reconstruction below this bewildered place
constantly in a state of shock
in a state of livid chaos
in a state of controlled happiness
held stealthily like the slaves shoulder to iron branding
the screams are loud, but the masters do not hear them
they do not flinch at the sight of this unruly pain

and so we have come to a place this universe has known far too long
the betrayers hand placed so solidly above the heads of those who have become numb
and a shadow above the minds of hope.

In the old market, I walk by a man who's family's hunger is painted on his face
like the gushing of blood red smoke. I had wished to wrap my arms around him for the day/
instead of walking around looking at things he would never dare lay eyes on
for there are mornings when he would give a fragment of his body in return for full stomachs
that sleep in the same room, so small at night/ little reminders that there is a reason behind his
undeniable struggle resting upon his eyes like doormats to homes of the elderly who have been abandoned, peering out the window trying to hold on to one beautiful memory to keep them alive
in there what is to most, the most foreign loneliness.
what will his children be, I ask myself. Why is it me that has been given more and not them.
these thoughts ache in my veins.

I pass by a building, where the rocks are ancient
a small thing it seems left behind by history. vacant .

there is a man selling raspberries that are rich with sweet sap
he stares at them only wishing that his life was as rich
flooding with envy at the sweetness of their nectar
then brakes away in thought to stare at the marvelous ocean
swaying like the beautiful mistress he never met under the arabian sun

droplets of sweat break at the rate of breathe that is taken
on these grunge filled streets, auras coming and going of loss and celebration

I am no longer rusty
tunic driven like a alabaster skeleton through tongues of wine
hearts of misshaped happiness breathing beneath my tongue
aqua marine
risky
danger zones between close mouths and breath
long locks of dark brown trail against your back
like water paint fluid on your paper like skin
hold me here beautiful forever
I will rest in between your palms
as you open them to gather water from the
river of our sacred dreams
I will lay there like a small fairy
for you
at ease

I understand the viscousness the inexplicable vitality
with a woman next to a woman
I can teach you how to be comfortable with me
we might become black at times

we might burn
reminents built
torn and ashy

but here there is a beauty
a burgundy understanding of similar nature
rich with cause
suitable by death

night bound by the man who believed he was clever
driven insanity
crude hearts gestures
leave that castle
be my vampire
join my tower

touch the sent of the wicker
and dive into this feminine power
I set hot trembling
tender sighs let out
every hour

I will hunt those wild beasts within your breast
hold your hand and kiss your chest
stitch myself to your ivory neck
seek you
until my hearts a wreck

I was made by long pale fingers
hard working veiny hands combined at the tip
long black hair and womanly hips

I was made by a battleship/ a gun
I came from a body of warfare
a heroic soldier with a heart of steel and orchids
brutally drenched into this life

I came from tears
a soul who departed its country so fresh and young
a woman who will always remain innocent, from whom I learned
the beauty of being humble and having a short tongue
I came from pain and hours of screaming and turmoil
made by love and given away to life
torn by the same *****
I am her, and every ounce of good
was taught to me with her sweat and patience

when her heart felt withered and no longer at ease
she would eat my pain and cry my tears for me
she gathered all the fruits of life and put them at my door
even when I would not answer
she kept gathering to give me more

before I knew her name, before I could speak
she would bend over backwards to help me
when I knew nothing, when I was small and weak
she loved me for who I was, and through the years has seen me grow
and loves me still the way that only women who have given birth could know


my keeper
and a part of my soul
connected through a tender bridge
and cared for me still when my heart was made of coal

she is my best friend
she is the ultimate lover
she is the woman of all women
she is my beautiful mother

I come close to you
.
.
I Kiss you with my scars
come close to me
.
.
finish me.

you see,
I have came across you so many times before
you stricken love

you love that is filled with passion
you love that is filled with detriment
you love that is filled with ocean like conversations
you love that is made of fire- burning
you love that is made of water- flowing
you love that is made to not last forever

the one that understands when it is time to pick up
your ***** feet and leave through the door that is already
waiting open for you
the door where on the other side life feels and looks exactly the same
but a little piece of the sky goes missing somewhere on the painting
a fragment of art in your life has been burnt
by fiery meetings of skin cradled on warmer skin

a love where the water is greater than the fire
where passion becomes extinguished
at any given moment, for a reason that will never
appear in any of your art work

you open your eyes one morning
and you instantly know all that was there
is sleeping now, in some form of energy far away from
the bed you and your ex-lover sleep on
leaving a lingering a permanent whisper behind

saying
I love you, but accept this

taboo dances in the rich ***** rain
it falls onto my shoulders staining my skin
why does the sky call to me in such disturbing ways

I crawled up your wooden ladder to find the sun
I held my heart above the clouds and my head to the gun
and when thunder is striking beneath you
there is not many places you can go
or many places where you can run

my soul churns
at the glance of yours

the sky continues to
.
.
.
pour

perhaps I am nothing but a torn poet
bleeding my thoughts on some wet footsteps
somewhere in Brooklyn
writing words of a love being loved too much
of a love that was never satisfied
a love that was never enough

perhaps I am nothing but a wondering soul
bed ridden on some broken mattress in Ireland
drenched from the mouth at dawn
overlooking an ancient castle and wondering
how many women cheated on their husbands in its rooms

nothing more than a person responsible for a slower beating of many hearts
responsible for the faster pace of others
something smaller than a thin anxiety running through
the blood of someone I left
or of another person who will never understand me
of another who will never come to terms with me
of another who tore me
of another who did not love me the way I had wished

lavender breaks its seal in some of my mornings
waking me up from the dead with flushed cheeks
and other times rising to the song of the death still stitched in my
empty pupils

perhaps I am just another person who broke too many times
who was sifted on the blackest ground until I lost my mind.heart.soul.
and became nothing but a bottle full of words

nothing but someone who lets the coldness break with the warmth of whiskey.
and the fire of a greater pain

there is no beauty in the roses bud to me
the scent lasts no longer than the eager second I clip the stem
the colors of the flower have faded between my black and white stamina
and the green of the roots looses its personality

there is no way to explain infinite unattainable desire
stinging like the only beautiful thing in sight
the only thing that understands me in the flowers nature
her beautiful thorns
your beautiful mind

in which I wish to press my frozen fingers upon
even if that means bleeding
in the moment of risking to brake the cold within me

you cornered me wicked, mid drift in the high
consumed. bluntly exposed.
you placed your thin fingers upon my lips. staggered. bent.
begged me not to breathe
I call onto you like the ocean in heat
like nature in its furious cause to prove that
man has no power over her, that he does not have her cure
in his superficial thoughts that wake in midnights rising
in between yen hungry rich peasants

you have no remote dignity
you have all your pride buried above your blistering smile
that burns openly to my naked eyes in the honest sun
I see everything that makes you up
I see your nose that bleeds
I see your feeble state
and that God forsaken disease

you moved the core of my woman with the taboo
in the thin yet powerful essence that danced between
our darkest places
so hidden from the light
you turned me exhausted with matrimony
driven you blinded basked in your polygamy
and you do still
even when our eyes do not see each other
even when your hands cook feasts in the morning
for that beautiful woman I met

because of you a part of me has become exile and remote to myself
because of you I have become a foreigner to my most permanent assets
I loose myself simply within the thought of my smile bedded
beside your humble surrounding

I find it hard to sleep at night

you have created a positive energy within me
that gives birth everytime you linger in my presence
my womb explodes with your static blue
leaving permanent goodsebumps whispering
the deepest tales of forbidden love

my cheek has found its warm home on your chest
listening to your heart beat
my ears have longed for the noise of your life
flickering beneath me like my ghosts that burn
when you place your hand so simply upon mine

you are water to my soul spreading like
glowing beams of light through my frail body,
sustaining and giving me the power to open my eyes from deadly sleep

drag my being into infinte space and I, because of you
can light the darkest edge of the universe
you have given me the power of 10,000 burning suns

I feel that anything is possible, strangely enough
and for the first time I have placed a pressure
upon myself to become more of another human
full of hope and acceptence, you move me

there is a eager passion waging war inside of
my arms to fight any army to bring you near me
let me protect you. let me be the one to bring
you more sincerity if it be possible
can you be filled with more love
I want us to build our home with the seeds
we have found in each others secluded gardens

while I write the lines that make us beautiful
and you sing them with your trembeling voice

never could I touch the skin that wilted upon
your chest like my heart desired, for my heart was too fragile
I feared my soul would break, and leak all over your glittering skin.
I did not wish to contaminate you with the death that lived within me
in those distant and dark days. I did not wish for you to be a sponge.
nor my cigarette filter. My attempt was only to protect you from
myself.

what I feared most was seeing me in you.
seeing the bits and pieces of my soul that have been missing
hiding somewhere between your thumb and index finger in that warmth.

my poems repeat themselves in agony
they drag me along with them in suffice
I can't control this
its just that sometimes, I choose not to
but I can't


you move Saharan, I only wish you still did
dedicated to those who saw only the intro
never the middle
never the ending
I kiss your ankles

forgive me.

I would like if I could, to venture out
into a baroque cave where the walls are translucent
and all that surrounds it are rivers of coherence
and incoherence
where I can scream, and when my echoes
radiate they bounce off on me and touch
the spaces in between my fingers
bizarre and ornate
rococo chimes lift my spirit
progressive, regressive
subliminal rising, into the sea of whispers
and final decisions  
and crazed hands
and melting lips
and bruised knuckles
and fighting wrists...

I subsist to consist
of the fluid that makes me up
lavender barely breathing
flowers/continue/endure

hang tough, low by lakes of conspiracy
and hate/ block eyes/ shed those ill states

I carry this entity/essence/life gentely
in my arms like a ancestor. mother .
press its head against my skin and give it everything
in my blood filled hands, sinful/blessed/ tiered creatures
I feel beautiful in these worlds.

eyes closed in sleep, palms spread forth
oceans cleansing, I feel like an infant
stomach twists and hearts bat burnt wings
and learn to fly

I radiate.full hearted. eminence spoke to me
through her portal of solid grass and dieing trees
in the outskirts of the vagabond, slowly unraveling
like a child speaking
slowly growing like new love
stricken instantly
I am in
between Cleopatra and Mark
between Orpheus and Eurydice
between Odysseus and Penelope
between Elizabeth Bennett and Darcy
between Salim and Anarkali
I shiver in that love
that breathes in determent
and breathes out fragrance  
  

temperate plasma hooked onto
the grind of my woman I beat like
the robins breast/ trembling in awe
like a living leaf blowing in the winter wind
resisting/giving in/ perishing/ breathing
to the sound of this beautiful life

taunt has been breathing latent
satisfying, tumbling, ringing
next to the sounds of the waves
that crash tenderly into my woman breast
intrinsic/immature
burnt black songs spread across the wall of hearts
ashen into the palms of souls
driven by the harmony of new days
I am a new day, smiling as I dig
my teeth into natures gatherings
given for sustenance and relief
virtues have been born above me
a white sea has come to be
I marvel at all these new found beauties

my love is a wild orchid leaking at the mouth at dawn
as hands find ways to place themselves in invisible places
burning beneath dreary midnight skies

terror and rushing silent hearts, something good
I have pranced upon in life meadows
and I find this lingering between those two places
perfection speaks silently
perfection whispers violently

I find worlds to live in
where our windows are portals to the spiritual
and open doors bring in tender wind
violet voices drip beneath the skin
in rich shades of heart fall
leaving imprints of impersonation and
reconstruction on my wall
blinding the unforgiving love of routine
and blue curtains that were hung up last winter
with a smile brushed upon a sad face

living in forests of wild woods and pubescent trees
mock the artificial mind of this city
learn how to be

I am no casting eminence glancing down
breath taking seas, locked in the agony of happiness
and criminal hearts, kissed by a kisser
holding hands tediously as 3 hearts melt into one
like the rain coming down from your roof
and the joy of falling asleep to the sound
of water being absorbed into the ground
recycled, there is something so comforting about it

flower printed walls, and hallmark cards lay around
the smell of coffee stenches the carpet
there is something glorifying about broken bottles in the corner of the bar
perhaps a long night of silent communication
and unbearable looks of quiet knife like stares
piercing-exciting
loving

I have lost my passion to write of you
the leaf burns slowly
in the
sun.

you sew my bones together, with the blue print of your voice
limbs tearing apart solemnly,
breathing in distant cosmos, left bitten/ forbidden
no choice
bodies bare birth to gentle flowers
like spring in the smallest forms
the whispers between calmly opening buds
the oceans remain salty, the tide gripping in its low
lingering on shore
kissing the roots of the pier
we remain eternal

like things that still have no names
I know new burdens bare like intimate kisses
so hard to explain and forget

I wake up with my teeth grinding
between broken fingers and disaster
I panic and become nervous
when I remember nothing special ever really happened
when I remember I never made real love to you
when I remember I did not taste the edge of giving you
my fire/ no I never even came close
when I remember cringing
shoulders/ locked
collar bones exposed. heavy.
I rub my cheek against yours
feminine lips part
emotions emerge like new islands
black and freshly exposed
we never gave time for the life to grow

I never whispered how I loved you in your ear.
I never took you all the places that were haunted
places I promised silently we would go
I never held you quietly, sober, in the dark
or fell asleep in your arms

I never cried to you. I needed to cry to you/ I held it in
I never let water fall on our naked bodies
I never helped you the way I wanted to help you
I would let you use my soul to wipe your tears
I never kissed the inside of your thigh early in the morning
I never gave in to the beauty of tenderness with you

I managed to pull out a few tears at 4 in the morning the other night
I managed to redeem that acceptance, it set me to pain.

you have been far beyond ruthless. you have so much room to grow.

you should have set your eyes to the ground
her words melt like poetry in my mouth
dripping, haunting
dark literary chocolate
speak

thin words woven like thread
into a tattered cloth
easily breakable
I watch things burn
between the beating of heart drums
sour contradiction
hidden deep in lost eyes
and old folks

redemption
there are 2 ways to be honest
silence has been the best
we all remember
bad crime

the type writer fills the nonsense
letting go of bloodshot canvas
flustered tongues
bedding the wise

this room smells like ink
your hair smells like ink
your arms smell like ink
your body tastes like it

there is no more room for sensual
broken glass
hindered
smile
it was so precise
incision inside right blue vein
hardened in sun, molded into beastly atoms
drained come loathing
breathing forbade me from looking
in the pale direction of ruby sonnets
hanging off the tip of shoulders

scratching thunder
moonlight sonata
dance, eyes pierced into the dark blue above

fingers settled like spiritual natives on blushed cheeks
smile when I speak
grow tall, infinite, strong

highways fall like clouds in my vision
they all have become a blur
exits off the roads and the furthest away from
temptation of fruitful chaos
mourned with lactating *******
children's laughter
angry fathers chest

head spins
black and warming winds
cool spins
welcoming grins
nobody ever wins

pick the words simply
pick the words gently
pick them wisely

I will not think about it
there is no way, really to tell those stories

of beatnik couples who lead their lives with shaved heads
chorus dancing on their shoulders
and the smell of faint jasmine coming from their beds

drenched couples dark eyes and long hair
family affairs and endless nights of dislodgement and despair
grunted, shrieked, rolled in the mud
screamed mercy as I gasped for air

the grass rubbed against each other, only but slightly
whispers purge through the willow
the soul is stretched on the ground in essence beneath the feet
a coffin is sorely hushed into the grave
mothers silent thoughts fill heavy in the wind
it was that silence that took that life
it was not the knife
or the blade
it was that silence

they laid on the field till hormones injected sounds
that clung to the ground
that composed the life of one being in two
mirror smiles, and souls sacred
sacrifice forbidden
the sacrifice will happen
we fool ourselves so our tears will hurt less
hands pressed against chest
why am I like this

who are we

this forest is stained with calmly matter
this forest is stained with saddened childhoods
stained with empty fathers and raging mothers
hearts are stained
lives are stained

ticking time bomb
drenched, wedding dress with immobility
drained, tuxedo with non sense
only to wake up 20 years later with
adultery splattered on your genitals
chaos imprinted on your fingers in every language
and then dismembering,
built with tyranny
falling apart limb by limb like a cremated body
seconds pass as if you were drowning
to come out of the water
is to risk everything
do you want to live


there is no excuse for your masquerade
your so called love parade, your color filled renegade
brittle bones sit staggered along the skin
of a youthful resident
who will cry no more at lucrative behavior
of taunt gestures and a underlying laughter
that only similar skin can touch
with its own experience and understanding
on that thing that sometimes looses its meaning
beneath conventional skies

I am a human, I am not a human
a soul love love
I witnessed that
suffocated between similar height
and jawline

I need you to set palms together
entangle generosity like raindrops connecting
branch out and cling your roots into the soil
blossom like cherry trees in japan
quiver like the heart of a 10 year old girl
who just witnessed love for the first time

melt, like the man who was raised with
hatred in his heart and has melted for the
first time on top of his wifes grave

scream, the screams of the native americans
upon the burning of their villages and
the rotting of their tribe, the tyranny of their land
my tongue hurts to say
this is my land
I feel it was never ours
it was theirs

laugh, like the children
and remember there are children in remote places
that have a pain in their eyes that we thought can only exsist within elderly
who know not the sound of a tender smile
remember that youth, when your children give out that glorious sound
and do anything to make that melody even louder
let your children laugh for those who dont know how
and raise them to seek them and teach them
even if it is through tears of thanks
that is the most beautiful laughter
the deepest happiness is that which comes with rain
the kind that extracts pain and cleanses the soul
washes the face and kisses the cheeks


dream and have hope like the small child sitting at the window at midnight way past
bedtime with bruised legs
promising themeselves that everything will be okay
with no shoulder to lean on
staring at the stars and having a clear image of the better
days to come, away from abuse and neglect
yes there are children like that
and there are also children
who scream into their pillow at night
remember to cradle the youth
they are the future
you are the future, living through your young



feel every intensity within your body
hold it there for just some time
cradle it
laugh with it
sing with it
dance with it
cry with it
bleed with it
and mourn it when it is not there

remember that, that intensity
is your humanity

did you become a monster trying to be like me
love found,
our bitter catastrophe
I announce in small tongues
because I am far past shy
I dwell below the medium of discreet
I fell for that
that
which will never fall for me

secret bliss shared in corners of my mind
to be gazed upon by wolves
devoured in the late night sky

I travel with your mind in my mind
I do understand none of this will ever
be redefined
but I carry you within me regardless
of the bad times

touch the ill pale stricken love side
dive in midnight incubus pools
we lived in the most blackened of times
we drank what was not
but to me, the most red of wine

I sink into the thought of you
you do not love me anymore

I was torn behind you
shredded like pieces of cloth
buried deep into the cemetary in your soul
lost that woman who believed in romance and goth
I smear the dirt from against my cheek
you should see the sadness within me
the ****** blood tangent
the ****** of naked torture
I cover my privates
there is nothing left to hide
prisoners try to escape
I dwell here, numb with the thought of you  

my hands trail behind me

Im going to die
Im going to die right here
admitting this beneath me

tonight
a few hours
man
haunted
kissed
shoulders
hair
trailing
age


there is something hidden between the refined
lips of a staggered feline
tramped like irony against my soul
a birthmark
a cure
hurt
hurt



no escaping
trapped
whole


the understanding
the love that gives out a sigh of death
a sigh of disowning
a sigh of painful living
endured upon me like knives
punching
peircing
reminding
every single drought stricken day

I lay upon my pillow gently
oh yes
I give into all this pain
what else can I do with my small hands that were left
wrinkled and have become prune from living in your rain
what has become of the sickness
the splattered guts and the vain

suffer
detachment
drunk
comfort
drowning
smile nervously
smile hesitantly
smile
remorse
beg
hurt


how can I ever come to play
simply spread my meaning
simply tell the tale of where my soul went when you had gone astray
packed your bags and got on the closest highway
with the word
gay
dripping out the side of my brain
hands curved next to my cheek
fingers twisted
heat overwhelming
panting
screaming

I have learned you

stitched lips

swim in the redness of the fruitility
that leaks itself like perched pedals
falling
exuberent/ burgundy
pale and translucent like the water in pure places
from your
wrists

tuned into the old jukebox
laughter shining things like
why wasnt I around when this was invented
right here, eyes pressed upon that sky
belittled, torn like a rag placed upon a tree of thorns
then tugged

reality breaks the seal
people put up shutters to block out the noise
they knew it wouldnt hit hard
but these animals think they are of some greater
power

its my turn, thoughts scatter like ants on the dining table
I grab my Q and gently hit the 8 ball, I remember when that man told me
to always go soft arrogance never got nobody somewhere good
I miss
was that a lie
?

perched on the stool going into reclusion in mind
what if
what if
the world was filled with nothing but
sylvia, anne, khalil, ghandi, Vincent Millay,
olds, ginsberg, abraham, lennon

what if our energies never fluctuated
in the nervous patterns that lead to the
exhaustion and you never let yourself fall
into that place we as writers promised to never
be,
driven far from complexities
tuned into conventional
inspired, but not really inspired

I bow my head farewell
smiles brought forth to my lips
as the positive is extracted
stable lives
t.v nights
no fights

redeemed when looking in the mirror
touching
your cheeks
rubbing your thumb on your lower
lip, examining all of those things that make you woman
that make you beautiful

everyone is beautiful
lovely tunic in their own way
let it be one small characteristic
one disposable action
one smile is a charity given

pride presents wistful sayings of abloshied tyranny hidden between
your gracious lovers and those 3 stars viewable from any place in the world
men with eyes full of hatred glanced upon them
children with tears in their souls

I loosened the knots of active  promiscuity drawn on the
face of the most indistinguishable and demonic paintings
hung in the highest places in my living room/ I burned the house
ambrosia dripping along my legs,
your mascara, scarred on my fingers
lipstick smeared on vintage walls fill the narrow
hallways in the bones of beasts sitting in high trees
in the alabaster forests of our dreams

laying so still, motionless
afraid to speak a word
one finger might break your skin
then eyes light
and smiles are emitted
like beautiful wedding nights
where its raining, no clouds
and a full moon

depart fruitful stances
I sit dreary in the airport
what summer love may summer bring
upon me, discreet soul
blackened tongues
long nights, made short
gags and hands thrown in the sky
kiss you
pretty
goodnight.

I walk away from the pool table, lost second time in a row
who cares, I have time to get better
maybe next time I should halt random infusions
pause my unstable mind
for a poets thoughts such things are considered
a crime

Tonight

drenching
you

from my

body

is forbidden

thoughts pressed against my stomach
as it caves in

I am the *******
the cornered drunkard lingering bottomless
on the side of the liquor store
the dreadful ex wife
that is me

a small face
with mascara running down
her cheeks
smiling

awfully.

an exchange of a few words
turning like sirens racing to save a dieing moon
in the fury of the morning
when birds sing and hearts align
like glorious mummies in the grave
decomposed
and awaiting the words of the curse to be uttered
by some love stricken woman carrying the burden
of the perfect day that withered away like
the snow in the summer underneath
tarnished melodies sung by the greatest of our time
my jawline contracts with the wind
the secrets of the invisibility rushes like the night
there is no stopping this truth from unraveling in front
of me like the baby coming out of the mothers womb
there is not stopping this fight
I hardened underneath the pale sun
like clay
turned
molded pottery
crafted by the music that rested upon me and
tough family nights where my father would bang on the door
I became stone

chosen
enduring like flowers who break to open
and reveal the most female of their colors
brushing chastity upon my charred heart
I become soft again
cradled in the arms of nature and her tragedy
that has grown far worse than any I have ever seen
her beauty
magnificent
and how she endures the blood shed of men
the tyranny of women
the tears of children
the atomic warfare
the bombs
the anguish

I learn from her that all things are equal
in the sense of the willow that covers her flowers in 40 feet of shade
roots clung to the heart of the soil beneath
he is equal to the twig

as I trembled upon the lake
I enter the subliminal ocean
waters mouth trembling upon my youthful chest
tender sacrifice to mother natures beautiful
releaser of cosmic *******
hidden between the scale of a fish
and the grains of sand beneath my feet
my eye brows crease as the sun kisses my pupils
and scorns my skin with her fiery heat
my cheeks blush and turn pink
for I am shy in the presence of that star
floating above my small body in the sky
twirling like the lotus on the Nile in the calming wind

the rain may come at anytime
cleanse the ***** core of my *****
the remnants of the superficial laughter
and things that hurt the mind and tarnish common behavior
on screens and micro pixels generated by the hands of man
humanity slips through the cracks of hope
lingering down like artificial honey from the plastic container
instead of the sides of my fingers as I grab the comb
and kiss the bee's

my knees where not made for this time
I fall onto the ground and whirl my body and scream hunger at
the top of my black lungs, give me my freedom

that was years ago, in a time where revelations made their
way only half way through my soul.
asking that brakes like a heart, question yes
and question no
you must take it and rip freedom out from your own core
your hands are not chained
but so many of these minds are torn
I scream
freedom
freedom
for I am re-born

the broken thunder has shattered our tunes of crazed whispers hidden in the space between your fingers and mine when they never touched. There is a emotion standing like me and you alone, terrible unaware of the pain that is to exhale yet numb and unwavering. you are numb and unwavering. your frailty has departed me into masked regions of normality and consistency. I know how you feel not because I have been there but because I have permanently become a part of you. and if you die apart of me dies too. I stand silently in the blistering sun my hair touches the wind as it sadly sings our old memories of torture and passions defeat, lost time the crimson in your eyes the similarity in mine bring out my age as every day that  passes you cross my mind at least once strangely and I wonder if I still hold a fire somewhere inside of you, even in the smallest. I run out in the waves holding the red holding the black and holding the old book where the edges of its papers are burnt by our naked times when two feminine wrists thrusted upon each other like tsunamis on brittle land. we broke everything beneath us. we perhaps broke ourselves. Our pictures are chaotic slowly moving hallucinogenic barbaric and stricken in my mind.  black is a slow color that lingers down above our heads and covers us with its intensity screaming in a dreadful agony bathing us in its oily sultry, covering our mouths until it became hard to breathe. I wanted to shriek I wanted to blow out a cry and tell you to rescue me from the fate that had driven me back to the alter that I first saw after I kissed you for the first time. Distant vultures stared with crude eyes of something of a disgust. A rush purging into an outlet and a endless amount of lust. forbidden mummification of the slender tale of trust. I lay my head weary about the soft death that plays with my hair and presses its bony finger on my cheek as I am soaking wet in a thin and paper like white dress. Embrace. The skies rained red and when droplets hit the ground a smoke would be born as we walked hand in hand amongst all our past ruins, believing that this was the last time. I failed. life has failed me. We shiver together and my essence frees itself like a flower that has been cut from its stem and my papery pedals strip away one by one on the side of your face. The cities walls felt close, count to 18, 19 open your eyes and speak quietly. kiss me quietly. hold me tightly. Let go of the shame learn to take this love lightly. My chest caved and my back felt heavy.Oh God forgive me. Forgive me. I have sinned and tangled myself into a situation that throws itself  like a nervous child at my knees. You cringed at my sight. You held me highly. You let me go violently. I cried silently.

I want to love you when you are ugly
pretty sirens held in tightly to my ****** regulation
of foreign relations/ and transgressed poverty

yes I do
I scream it at the top of my voice my darling
let me love you when you are ugly
I want to linger in your most empty places
awfully.

let me kiss you when you are angry
shed the ill word tell me everything you think of me
and speak to me bluntly

my ears are sore with the pretty
depict me/ dissect me
get me down to my nitty gritty

let me love you when you are ugly

let me stain you with my eyes and fly you away from this country
wrap my arms around you and tell you that you don't need your family

there was a time when blindness hovered in shades of gray
with wings of dragons
and tongues of Shakespeare
latent driven on the hooks of youth and
almost prosperity

let me love you when you are ugly
I say these words knowing it is almost quite impossible
for in my eyes you are always lovely

the black crimson of atmospheric and feminine smoke gloriously moves around
like tainted belly dancers in front of the pyramids
luring and incredibly terrifying
singing to me in the tongue of Orpheus, balancing
like dark ballerinas gathered in Arabesque stance
protruding brittle and shaking emotion with grace and
extracting all mind pollution
drenched in a feeble state
lurid/ashen/grim with transcending desire to fulfill itself beyond natural depth
I delicately move my fingers around, I want this to wrap around me
as slow as possible
I nestle my head into my shoulder, and rub my cheek against my warmth
I adorn the fumes
I kiss them  

ghosts and humble gatherings pursue me on this deadly night
of a deep fright and tender delight
crazed anonymous lovers kiss on their balcony somewhere in France
a fog dies out on some highway in mid Arizona
while a young woman smears red lip stick on her tainted mouth
she tries to gather her hair as it blows in the wind in her girlfriends
1975 convertible Chevrolet Caprice classic    
this desert is heavy she thinks to herself
as the thoughts of authority and being thrown into a jail cell
slowly slip away through her hallucinations
she casts the bottle of brandy to her drunken tongue
I am human she thinks, more human than I have ever been
a smile makes its way to her lips adjoined with tears
and childhood memories of lime aide on Saturday mornings
and the smell of chlorine from the old pool in the backyard that her mother
told her to never jump in

I trail my finger against the heat that has made its way to my shower door
and print some lewd drawing that brings a tiny bit of laughter to my gut

I remember the way you would analyze your face in the mirror
judging yourself so harshly, when orchids in spring would never compare to you

remember the feeling of having a butterfly rarely land on your hand as a child
nothing could have been more magical at that moment
when your heart explodes with mystical wonder
and then before you know it its set free again
things so ethereal are not meant for captivity
human hearts should learn how to relate
live freely

that is how I feel sometimes
when life brushes on my skin like  6 billion beating hearts
when I find ways to connect with those poor women in Kenya,
and tap into the rarity of their happiness
when I find ways to breathe in that same toxic air of the unfortunate civilians
of the city Chernobyl in Ukraine
when every child that has ever been given life breathes in my heart
when I connect and feel
alive.

Tonight. me and my mother cried in the same house.
in separate rooms/ we cried for the same reason.
If I was my mother I would be married with one child and pregnant.
A beautiful woman.young. pale. tall. thick black hair. and simply marvelous.
escaping a civil war at 15 in the hands of a man she barely knew.
life granted her tears of desperation and a hope
that shrivels in front of her more and more with each passing day
her desperation itself suffers like unseen children dieing in deserts unknown
like women who are beaten day after day
like humans who are killed for another humans dinner
where do you bow your head oh gracious care giver
when the air itself has departed from your small space
your small kitchen, and the house that you might loose
paintings hanging on the wall, recognizable for as long as I can remember
of sailor men who looked tiered with their lives
of men who look like you in their beaten down eyes
why must I see you burn in my presence  
like the one time I was 13 and you came into my dark room at midnight
placed my hand on your forehead and asked me to pray as if I could save
you from that quick move, that weakness that makes souls banish
and fall into the grave. I felt like a savior that night.
My mother why must I see you grieve.
I worry with each passing day your body might leave me.
I hold heavy weights on my shoulder and my actions they come to
cease when I think of your existence.
you transcend so often. From marble, to stone, to thin paper.
you stand brute in front of me unwavering, and then you crumble
beneath my eyes.
your daughter, your offspring.  you  .
I never knew a human can shed so many salty drops of crystal water.
shed so much invisible blood. deteriorate beneath the hands of suffering himself.
How could you have been so strong for me. I just do not understand.
Maybe that is why the lunatics live beneath our roofs.
Maybe that is the reason for the draining of sanity and quiet whispers.
These things never lived beside us.
These things never will.

The choir plays in the background.
          the violin steers and moves every *****.
                  every bone within suddenly becomes deceased

Our actions are floating above the black ocean
salvation has forced its way toward us as I whisper to you
you have left with permanent scars upon your lips

                                

                             I see how you touch them when no one is watching

I am nothing but after matter
nothing but a simple yearning

                                  I yearn for you with breaking hearts
                                               what foolishness
                           to remember you with the heart of a hopeful mankind
                                                 of a freedom

                       the sounds in the background raise and faint
         the noise in my head relentless like the blood running through our last memories

                                

.torture. she smiles.