you sew my bones together, with the blue print of your voice
limbs tearing apart solemnly,
breathing in distant cosmos, left bitten/ forbidden
no choice
bodies bare birth to gentle flowers
like spring in the smallest forms
the whispers between calmly opening buds
the oceans remain salty, the tide gripping in its low
lingering on shore
kissing the roots of the pier
we remain eternal

like things that still have no names
I know new burdens bare like intimate kisses
so hard to explain and forget

I wake up with my teeth grinding
between broken fingers and disaster
I panic and become nervous
when I remember nothing special ever really happened
when I remember I never made real love to you
when I remember I did not taste the edge of giving you
my fire/ no I never even came close
when I remember cringing
shoulders/ locked
collar bones exposed. heavy.
I rub my cheek against yours
feminine lips part
emotions emerge like new islands
black and freshly exposed
we never gave time for the life to grow

I never whispered how I loved you in your ear.
I never took you all the places that were haunted
places I promised silently we would go
I never held you quietly, sober, in the dark
or fell asleep in your arms

I never cried to you. I needed to cry to you/ I held it in
I never let water fall on our naked bodies
I never helped you the way I wanted to help you
I would let you use my soul to wipe your tears
I never kissed the inside of your thigh early in the morning
I never gave in to the beauty of tenderness with you

I managed to pull out a few tears at 4 in the morning the other night
I managed to redeem that acceptance, it set me to pain.

you have been far beyond ruthless. you have so much room to grow.