Typical, miserable
Modern life listical
Sticky note overload,
Stuck in a
Cyclical
Course of correction
Yet barely
Dirigible
Sense of direction
I aim for perfection
But always fall short
Through disorganized
Scatterbrained
Thoughts have to sort
Through the stress-induced fog
To dispel the despair
And repair it with
Documents left to prepare
For performance evals
And a palace of somber
Senescence
Deep into the night
Do I ponder
And wonder how much
Longer, I must endure
An existence in which
Only loveless allures
Me to strive for the end
Of the infinite
Endlessness
Watching the world
Melt away
Like my sentences
Leak on the page
Of polemicist rhetoric
Nobody cares
So I drain it of sentiment
Grin and I bare
The next day’s
Falling tenement

In the solace of self
I reside alone time
Not a person I trust
Anymore than my mind
For it knows who I am
It determines the truth
It compels me to peace
Of an alternate root
When I open its doors
With philosophy spores
And cogito of ego
And glistening shores
Beyond lavender meadows
And bottomless pits
Of eternity crumbling like coins
Into bits

Some art this weekend
No less
Don’t know nothing about it
I just like the stress
Of interpreting languages
Someone can paint
Guess I’m just a romantically
Hopeless
Restraint
On the pawns
And the puppets
The sheep
And the saints
Just constraints
On the ranks,
On the tanks,
On the skanks
I just want to control
The whole show
And rob banks

Searching for that spark again
For dark my all too willing friend
Seeps through this pen, as I the light
Become the world
And dawn my dwindling days from night
Resisting purposelessness urges
To expel emotion purges
Verses lacking luster shades, as I the waves
Become the sea
And drift so far away from me

Try as I may
To tame it,
Rein it in
I can’t contain it
Just evade it as a talking point
And silently disclaim it
It’s the same old story
Reimagined
Beast that kills
The beauty pageant
Tragic downfall
Of the hero  
Bank accounts
Reduced to zero
Sheer calamitous
Despair
Sempiternal
My nightmare
Aware it all
Concludes
In nothing
Life itself
A mere MacGuffin
Stuffed inside
A womb
Entombed
Then by oblivion
Consumed

The issues that plague
The day
No one will want to say
Just let it go
Far astray
Like a stowaway
Soon reenact
The detachment
Scenario
Learning each time
That it isn’t
So scary though
To remain bound
Inextricably linked
With a future in which you
Suppress the instinct
To abandon what
Brings the most
Comfort and joy
When you feel
What you seek
Soon enough
You destroy

One day I will fade
From the annals of time
Along with conceptions
Of my human mind
Words that then gave them life
Be of speech or of pen
Will rust and dissolve
In the reigning of men
And moons waning then
On the powers that be
Will only sunrise
For the living to see
No sad elegy
From the melting ice faces
That filled up my oceans
With dark, empty spaces
My desert's oasis
Last puddle runs dry
The gardens I've tended
Will wither and die
No bluer the sky
No willows will weep
No creatures will mourn
Over my ever-sleep
As forever must keep
Spinning time in its hands
The valley still kneels
And the mountain still stands
Overlooking the lands
That I flowed through in peace
Unperturbed by the force
Of my river's release  
As the winds of change cease
To carry my name
Upon phoenix wings
That ignited my flame
When I felt earth reclaim  
All that I held dear
And saw no kingdom comes
That outshine the one here
No question mark fear
Just my last exclamation
This journey concludes
In the truth's punctuation

Like a virus
Just uploaded  
Human nature
Soon outmoded
Superannuated
Use
What purpose I have now
Obtuse
A recluse
More machine
Than man
The latest tech
Within my hand
Yet still don’t understand
The changes
What my role
In climate
Change is
Only my directive
Senses
What the coding
Fails to mention

What sense is there still clinging
To the strands of fate not severed yet
We met, we let the best of us
Reset, and I forget the rest
Of storms we weathered just
To see the other side of life expressed
In silent chimes of solar lust
Combusting seas of shimmer shade
Charades as we began to fade
She knew me in a time when I
Did not myself seem to know I
Why from her side my path had strayed
To stained Mnemosyne replayed
And as I paved it to my grave
I made a slave of her and bade
Farewell to my temporal shell
And sealed the soulless wretch in hell

Thought I was afraid of nothing
And then I met you
Terrified to even feel you
And the things that you do
To my mind, you’re inside
I’m inside of your sky
I’m the wind in the trees
I’m the oceans you cry
And if knowledge is power
I know we all die
And I’d do it a million
And one extra times
To keep teaching you lyrics
Still muse of Apollo
And Daphne’s designs
I see titans and gods
On their knees to my shines
And sometimes I bang history bombs
On the side
‘Cause I see these machines
And I make them my bride
I’m the secret to peace
And in you I confide
In your poet-eyed nether
World LSD swirling  
Forever
My nevermore twirl
Ballerina girl

Lord of Apokalips
Rules with an iron fist
Stolid he stands
As he plans
To seize all of it
Conquer the rest
Of the known
Multiverse
Of New Genesis Gods
He is surely the worst
As he suffers
No subject’s
Objection
Perfection
Is all he expects
From his children's
Progression
And rivals
The steel
Son of El
In his strength
His omega beams spanning
The spaceways at length
In pursuit of his target
The League in their tower
His vengeance evinces
True meaning of power

Be my nihilist bride
Or my activist pride
Just confide unreservedly
Deepest dark side
‘Cause I’m not a type guy
Just respond well to kind
To compassion
Attraction
To nourish my mind
Stimulate it with questions
Then bore me to tears
Stay up unto the dawn with me
Sharing your fears
Then exemplify
Every day after
Resolve
To with me
Or without me
Still strive to evolve
To improve
On your still left to lose
Inhibitions
Unless we’re both trippin’
On pure intuition
And then can the chemistry’s
Most volatile
Compatible match
Validate your profile

And then I’m without her
The nights all about her
And for
Never could
In sincerity
Doubt her
Just write that I found her,
Somehow still astound her
She whirls in my world
Revolution to crown her
Revolving perpetually
All around her
As down as I get with it
In disarray
She’s the order I take
To keep chaos at bay
And in grim disposition
Illuminates gloom
When I ruminate life
Like an unfulfilled tomb
A foresight panoramic
Enamors my manic
My thoughts of her
Peace
On a beach
In a hammock
A breeze
Overseas
Through some kind of connection
The next step along
My pursuit of progression

Edge of depravity
Habits
Are forming
I’m working
In circles
My night
Is the morning
And more
Appeals only
To substance abuse
My ambition
Is solely
Not yet to the noose
For tomorrow
Might see her
Appear on my screen
In some semblance
Of my
Serendipity dream

Ate too much
Drank too much
But it’s been days
Since I even absorbed
More than morbid malaise
Oh I know
I went there
All alone
Without fear
But I dread
Megan dread
We would ever be here
And her name is still fresh
On my lips
All the same
And my friends are still
Numero
Uno
Unchanged
But it’s different these days
We get weird
But estranged
To the simplest things we
Ever said
Disengage
At the first sign of trouble
We try and explain
How it happened
Elapsed in
Some time we perceive
Although few can still answer
What do you believe?
I’d say us
As it was
But so much is gone
Can not recover
The dawn
Looks enticing
Inviting me on
But I’d rather it end
Before then,
Curtains drawn

Hear coyotes feasting
In the distance
At the dawn
The desert chill
Instills a sense
That I am never
Far too gone
My home is distance
It is missed
And I will see it someday soon
But I still chase the lonely solitude
Foreboding
Harvest moon
And wake when stars
Still cling to tapestry
Oblivions above
And in the shadows
Prep the gallows
For an afterlife in love  
The unresolved,
The unrequited,
Undecided
How I feel
For if I rhymed it once
A million times
I questioned it was real

Soliloquy in reverie
I sentence thee
To center me
When sentience
In absentia
Morphs into
Intelligentsia
And dimensions
Of perception
Warp into
The self-deception
Still convincing me I’m real
With forms of suffering
I feel
And storms of thundering
Appear
From out the blue
And crystal clear

We poets are teachers
The artists, the leaders
The dreamers, the weavers
Of minds of the infinite
Wisdom conceivers
The gods that you worship
Were made in our image
The heroes you envy
Are born of our wrath
To walk in the steps
Of our off-beaten path
We are mythical martyrs
On whimsical quests
To tickle your fancies
And beat in your chests
When you lock it away
We are there with the key
And a piping hot cup
Of divine empathy
For we feast on your pain
And we dine on your pleasure
We bask in the sun
Of the stormiest weather
And none may deny us
The power we hold
Not an ocean of greed
Nor a mountain of gold
Can stop us or touch us
For we own the skies
The angels you honor
Composed of our songs
Yes we poets are muses
The Tantalus juices
The shapers, the wakers
Of your inner-peace in this life
We are makers

Yet to be gainful
If anything painful
The way that it made me
Too smart for my good
Now I can’t seem to do
Anything
Others would
For potential
Ambition
Or just the objective
Rent check
And utilities
Maybe a pension
I’m just apprehensive
Another failed test
I excelled in the class
But forgot all the rest
When the glass sky impressed
Upon me
Other visions
And making a living
Was suddenly
Prisons
Sooner the grave
Than careers in decay
Student debt
And degrees
Dust collecting
Display

The outcast disheveled,
Bedraggled and weary
Strolls into town
Dragging his feet
Through the dreary
Disdain and contempt
Perforating eyes poke
Like a razor-sharp scrutiny
Dagger
The cloak?
Is what he can still manage
To keep under wraps
Of the cut from the beggar's cloth
King of the scraps
Kind of life
That subdues him
Seclusion recluse
In hermitic exile
To be of some use
Just to loosen the noose
Of the netherworld
He extricated
Himself
From its idle inertia
Stagnation he dwelt
In a stasis field
Reeling in
Static nomadic
Ideals of adventure
And methods Socratic
He queried and pondered
How could he employ
And perhaps someday feel
But an instant of joy
Yet the place that he found
Now the same
Leaves him bound
In its living hell spell
Like a mostly ghost town

Measured
In merely
The fruits of his labor
And deeply embossed
In his cross my
Engraves her
For only on
Standards
Of what he provides
Will she teach him
To share
What his steely nerve
Hides
What divides them
This time
Is his task
To abridge
And embrace her again
Overlooking the ridge
Only there
Where he goes
For her
Over
And over her
Onward
Again
To the void
Ventures in
Then he finds him the one
That gets under his skin
But illuminates
Permeates
Every synapse
In her absence
The vacuousness
A relapse

Well she’s gone
For sure
And the other
Just knows
We were so ******* high
It will never be sure
That I guess
You don’t want me again
It was just
A few kids
Falling into
The when
And then oh
How it happened
The wow
Was spectacular
Now
And when you looked away
I was getting there
Lost in the fray
The dismay
Couldn’t tend
To be anything more
The days of us
End
And you couldn’t endure

Fear not
I am only
An omen away
Just a miracle
Universe
See you someday
And in nearly three decades
My path has converged
Intersected
Enmeshed with
Insatiable urge
Irrepressible
Lust
To be wanted
Adored
But I must
Be left all alone
To rest assured
That attention received
Won’t just leave me aggrieved
When the unwanted feelings
Arising
Deceive

Let me wallow,
Wither,
Wilt,
Let me waste away
With guilt
Permit me perish
Atrophy
And relish thee
Catastrophe
Until such love
Comes back to me
Enraptures me
Again ensnared
Entangled in
Its fragrant hair
Its vanity affair
Laid bare
Across my inhale,
Exhale chest
Its *** contest
Conquest
Impressed
Upon us both
To ever rest
Within a dead of night
Embrace  
And wake to see
Her smiling face

Exhaust myself venturing
Into unknowns
In my bones start to feel
Myself slowly grow old
Still resilient
Resistant
My youth is recalcitrant
As it revolts against
Wasted time I have spent
Brooding, colluding
With vanities decadent
Lusting for power
Remembered by all
For how I rose to seize it
From others’ downfall
Just to plummet as one
Of the outcasts of hubris
Ambition’s abortions
Successes’ refuses
Reclusive within
My hermitic exile
With nothing to gain
Think I’ll sleep for awhile

Try to be
The attentive
Responsive
Be honest
But not this
Duplicitous
Liar
You temptress
Relentlessly
Lifting me higher
But merely
To drop me
From dizzying heights
Hit the ground
Watch me drown
In my loneliest nights
And I thought I was done
Entertaining your kind
In your intricate snares
Bare my soul
Intertwined
With your faithless
Facade
Twist of fate
Ain’t your god
It is simply
Just pleasure
And somebody better
Than me and you
First dating
Under the Weather

Cadaver on the shoreline
All I’ll ever be
Decaying
All I ever wanted
With you
Was my former love
Betraying
And it’s weighing
Like an anchor
Of the memories
Forgotten
But we’ll always have the pier
And moonlight beach
To tie the knot in
But it’s not in some
Delusion funeral
Where people wed
It shall remain within
The hanging
From the days
For which we bled

It depends
Do you see me
Was I even there
Did I stare in your eyes
Was the us
Self-aware
She was barely yet
Part of my history when
In your presence
My prescience was breaking even
In lucidity
Clarity,
Humanist
Parity
Hope for the future
The some day ideal
But like it
In the now
Had to doubt
I was real

Grow up in a swamp
Dampen spirited
Sinking
There’s no coming back
No escape
From rethinking
This home
We are rooted to
Stone’s throw
From who we knew
Soon to submerge
In the dismal
Mundanity’s
Tireless dirge
May it serve
Unrelenting
From Quaker to Cat,
Like the memories’
Nemeses
Harken us back
To catharsis
In darkness’s
Walk through the woods
The reclaiming,
The changing
Of old neighborhoods
But to leave it behind
In the mired
Decline
Is impossible
Lest you
Return
Time to time

Yea yea yea
Driving
The so cal
Let’s do this
We’ll find us some food
And then watch
As it soothes us
Remove us from cruising
The miles
Infuse them
And all the sounds
Quiet
I hear them
In ruins

Cease to exist
Sounds much better than death
What the hell is left
Even to do
But regret
Or reflect I mean
You know,
Keep thinking
Could be
Or what could have been
Had I been
Internally
Set to leap
Into ready
As I’ll never need
The profession
Successes
The 1st world excesses
Unrest
In the rest of its
Climatic messes
Just nest with me here
For a little bit longer
Just sit with me,
Hear
In my heart
The warmonger

My demands are as simple
As no more dead kids
No more wars against words
No more filthy rich pigs
When there’s still hungry people
In chains and in cages
Kept silent by tyrants
And minimum wages
Resorting to violence
When nobody listens
And nobody learns
That the past is still present
Tax breaks for Bear-Stearns
And the purge takes the form
Of the new normal anti-truth
Media swarm
Till your torn between
***** hands and kitty ****
Who to trust anymore?
In this land under god
Just a church and state
Propagate hatred
Facade

Come closer to courting
Malevolent forces
For some form of
Temporal pleasure
Abortions
Discourses with fewer
Of flesh
By the day
So I turn from the faith
And to faker gods pray
But at least when they lie
I already expect it
And so when I die
At least that’s not regretted
As well
Had enough
Of lament in this lackluster life
To rebuff
Any pious hope pirates
Pretending they save
Anyone,
Any world
From an imminent grave

This system slaughters people
Like they’re cattle in a factory
They grind you through the Tinder
Then erase your peoples’ history
Then sell their dreams to power their con FEdisunny city
They’ll pretend to be your friend
Like Kim Jung’s parallel Rheeality
Retreat delete the war elite
McKinley’s Ford BerlinWallStreet
With fleets of Filipino meat
That Nicaraguan ****** sheep
Still splittin’ skulls of shoeless feat
Of peace so simple, can’t you see?
Community, I speak for thee
The FIRST amendment's legacy

Don’t ask for much
But respect
Just address
Me as such
You’re in my house
Arrest
And still dwell in a glass
Domicile
Of shame,
Insecurity,
Foolishness
Shattering frame
When I know you can’t look at me
Square in the eye
I see through your intentions,
Your presence
Belies
Here unwelcome among
The long love bereft
Numb
And you only make foes of me
Thinking me dumb

My failure complete
Now I weep
Intermittently
Throughout the day
I accept
She is through with me
Only internally
Though
The drops flow
On the surface
A face of stone  
Sinking below
Undertows
Still adrift
In the first
I let go
Where to go now
Is now
One more thing
I don’t know
An uncertainty
Future
Futile to resist
All because
By myself
I preferred to desist
My existence
Consistently  
Disappointments
Of disloyalty,
Distance,
Disingenuous
Dissonance
In discordant
Disguises amiss
In its thinking of you
As but showing you bliss
Was in fact for us even
A work in progress
And if nothing more comes of
The timeless expanse
We spent urging
The merging
Us into romance
I am glad to have seen you
As you would see me
I am honored beyond love
That I was once we
And I’ll never forget you
Regrets, mine alone
And still mold in your image
This earth
We call home

Depression is a cancer
No cure, just treatment woe is me!

Maligns the most benign of cells
Denial chemotherapy
Inoculation wish you wells'
Feel better card futility
Smiling cashier drug store sells
But temporary remedy

Lamenting tumors only answer
Guilt to sing your threnody

And I’ll go to sleep hungry
This life
Is a challenge
Even with friends
I am never
Imbalance
Just down
With whatever vibe
Brings them alive
And as I
Dead inside
Think of you
All the time

Could use fewer words
To appeal to the senses
The ethos, the logos,
The pathos
Pretenses
By mentioning less
What it seems to suggest,
How you’re meant to interpret
These feelings expressed

Think i bother with the silly
Piddling triflings of the self?
I’m just the you and I alone
Forgotten anyone
Whose else
I know tomorrow when I run
I’ll move as hard as I can go
And write you stronger
Than I’ve ever
Thought about the undertow
You know I’m thinking of you now
The conscious mind can not contain
And I was thinking of you
Down
Below the rotting in my brain
I was insane to think
Beyond you in the distance
I could sink
And not return to walk the shores
Of all the oceans that I drink

Come back to me
Yearning
What troubles,
What ails you?
Read on as my gallant knight sword
Never fails you
Prevailing against
Every dawn I’m without you
I vanquish your foes
With a flow all about you
For sharp is the thorn of your prose
When I doubt you

The difference between us
Is seen as
What keeps us
Divided, united
And trying to hide it
With notions of sameness
Partitioned in races
And paychecks to rub it in
Spite-her-nose faces
Despite whether on
The excesses of luxury
Porcelain thrones
Do we trickle down waste
Upon those without homes
Or we find ourselves
One of the billion
Have nots
Minding only our businesses,
Tending our crops
We depend on it always to be there
To make
Livings off of
These lands,
As their claimants we stake
And it takes us a lifetime
Of filling it with
Any worth we convert
To devaluing it
But in each of us lies
An identical pit
Of despair in disparity's
Wealthy abyss

The vaunted you
All that I wanted
For so long
I tried to be
Strong and undaunted
And move on
But ghosts of you haunted
The notes
In each love song
And I was too proud
To admit
That I was wrong
And now you’re correct
I should probably seek help
Before I inflict
Even more harm
On myself
Or the lonely day’s nights
Full of dread’s
Someone else

Push me to the brink
Deprive me
Mired in despondence
Drive me
Mad with grief,
Forlorn,
Rejected
Feed me nothing
But regressive
Failure
Cast me out
Alone,
Bury me
Away
Unknown
Forget I ever lived
At all
Delete
The writing on the wall
In shadows of
This urban sprawl
Resourcefully
To bed I crawl
And ever wake
Another day
Adapting to
The disarray
As if some kind
Of wild creature
Streamlining
My body
Sleeker
Weak at times
But mark my words
If need be I devour herds
Then seeking my next meal
Reveal
The rest
As hungry
As I feel

Might write something wicked
Right now
On the verge
Of collapsing,
Amassing within
Irrepressible urge
To emerge from this
Self-imposed sinking
Submission
The give up, give in
Not worth living
When missing
The hope that provided
A reason to wake
To still strive
For the next
Everlasting heartbreak

Encased in a narrow perspective
Surrounded
By blank,
Muddy-caked,
Matted walls
Further down in
The dumps
In the grumps
In the clumps of morass
Drying out like a drought
Turns to gold
The green grass
Shriveling in my withering
Thirsting for purpose
The worthlessness fissures
And cracks at the surface
Unquenchable brain
Drained to barren expanses
Parched lips press their kiss
Upon parchment romances

No faintest ray of light
Shines in
Or finds it can
Divine a grin
Above my chin
As darkness seeps into my skin
Wherein the fading joy persists
To fein another day amidst
So many glances skeptically
And questioningly scowering me
Or some don’t seem to care I’m here
Don’t meet my eyes, nor dare I there’s
A stranger in some stranger land
And every night the rains again
Crash down upon this muddy shack
Until my dreams all fade to black

Sacrificed her
As was yet
Undeserving
To be of the
Beloved
To be one with the
Beloved
To be suns above
Beloved
Came undone
For my
Beloved
Never wandered roads
More rugged
Jagged, sloping,
Craggy
Climbs,
In winding
Hindsight
Going blind
Beseeching
Seeking
Modes of teaching
Scattered pieces
Peace of mind