Lately I find
Being lost
Not so bad
When you have a few friends
With whom bonds ironclad
Can withstand
An onslaught
Of discordant ordeals
With a steely resolve
Then we share how it feels
To be searching still
Looking for love and discovery
Mired in grinding through days
Made of drudgery
Judge me
I dare you
Assume that you know us
And hate us,
Degrade us,
We’ll dance on your graves
And defile the racists
Contagious our sickness
Is wit with a vicious
Charisma ice cold
And the guillotine’s swiftness
Abysses don’t phase us
When muses have made us
Inspired and proud
To share gifts that they gave us
All flawed and imperfect
But kind and sincere
Genuine
To the bitter end’s
Nothing to fear

Find myself beaming
Like spectacles gleaming
And trapped
In my craft
I’m more passively
Scheming
Than many years past
All this hubris was riven
With oceans of vast
Blasphemies
Unforgiven
But checked from my heights
Has my vision ignited  
And wrecked from my spiteful
Ambitions
Delighted
In treacheries,
Leprosies
Can’t stop afflicting
The world
And its beings
With paradigm shifting

Long ago a creature
Of a far more primal sort,
Not fit to deem itself “a people”
Lived a nasty, brutish, short
Existence marked
By woe and ill
It reveled in recurring
Genocidal
Bloodlust for the thrill
Of an inherent need to ****
It was incapable of making
Gleaming cities made of gold
It barely scraped two stones together
Starting fires in the cold
To call it thriving
Would be lying
To the modern, honest man
Without some product to be buying
Or some money in his hand
Because today
We have forsaken
Savage ways
We have no stake in
And we only claim possession
Of the things we haven’t taken
Through the force of arms alone
Like troglodytes
With clubs of bone
For mass destruction
Weapon threats
Now keep the peace
A fallout zone
Unless the beastly race forgets
His place
Within society
And in this perfect world begets
A discontent anxiety

Close as I’ve
Ever yet
Ventured
To fathom
As if
My imagine
Could reach out and grab them
The weapons we’ve formed
Unto prosperous ends
To the victor go spoils
And I write the ends
Of the stories
Of glorified
Government forms
To fill out
And redoubt us
In Ivy League
Dorms
In the master class
Master’s degrees
Culture norms

I said depressing
Not depression
One describes
And one implies
A more immutable
Condition
A disorder
We disguise
And when revealed
To you
It seals
Your condemnation
Of my plight
For I am just
The silence shrieking
In the darkest depths
Of night
And this is just
A cry for help,
An SOS,
A desperate plea
That resonates
In your commiseration  
So inaudibly

Beginnings seem to end
Somewhere in the middle
Twenty-three years
Of forgetting to remember
Momentous mountains moved to tears

Can’t be described
But here goes my best try
It’s ineffable gods
It’s the blue in the sky
It’s the human conditioned
To think it at all
It’s the ocean’s enormity
Bask in the thrall
Of its forces of nature,
Its danger,
Its source
It’s emotion,
It’s motion,
It’s timeless of course
It’s the universe
Planting its seeds
As it breeds
As it breathes its life into
The bodies it feeds
It’s a memory’s
Melody,
Pleasure and pain
It’s microbial jungles
And cells in the brain
It’s the energy jolt’s
Inspirational spark
It’s the howling wolf moon’s
Looming gloom in the dark
It is solace’s
Salience,
Silence’s synthesis
Synapses syncing with
External stimulus
Susurrations
Of the wistfulness winds
It’s the smiling sunshine
On the earth as it spins
And continues presenting us
Plentiful gifts
So partake
And reciprocate
Its blissfulness

My conscious persona
No longer exudes
Fragmentation of self
There is merely the one
And the love that eludes him

Eschewing his genius
His manic depression
His mind-bending realms
Of post-mortem reflection
For how could he teach them
His methods of madness
His ubermensch dead to the world
Phantom sadness

What he comes to know
Is no longer aware
Of the scent of her fear
There is only his cognizance
Naked and bearing

The weight of their hunger
The oceans of thirst
The suffering children
Enslaved upon birth
And for all of their innocence
He will endure
The injustice of time
As he rots to the core

Of his inner-most thoughts
In a prison of prose
His youth in revolt
Though trapped in decay
Like a withering rose

From the ashes of ego
Destruction of id
To reveal the creations
Of muses he hid
And for lost souls to serve
And his goddess divine
He embodies the light
Formlessly redefines

The objective of life
Subject to debate
But realizing the truth
Is by his hand made free
To determine the fate

Of his own destiny

Mindless hate
Fueling,
The spectacle
Ruling
The idol lies
Hypnotized,
Slavishly drooling
Like homeschooling
******
In repressed
Insecure
And alone,
Unexpressed
Will turn into
A war
For your loyalty
Soil,
Your toil,
Your vote
For the royalty’s
Dynasty’s
Building a moat
And awoke
Is unwelcome
Just go back to sleep
As they reap your American dreams
Counting sheep

Here’s where kindness fails you
When the personal
Ordeal
Becomes too burdensome to bare
When you’re aware
What it reveals
About your character’s
Concealed and obfuscated
Tragic flaw
When insecurity detains you
In its most disordered law
Just look around
And think
How many
Could you benefit
But choose
Instead to isolate yourself
In inner-workings it includes
But yet excluding
Who the closest
Of among you’s
You can trust
For in your back
Sooner or later
The betrayal shall be ******

I asked the weeping willow tree
   how lonely is this swamp I see?
What dark, primeval, loveless start
   left it with this mired heart?

Why do lamenting ghosts of fog
    in mourning grieve over the bog?
What forked-tongued lies could have been told
   to make its murky blood run cold?

The tears that water fern and frond
   how many fell to fill this pond?
What parasites swell in its brains
   and leech upon its gnarled veins?

Did poor, lost souls who ventured in
   fall victim to its shedding skin?
What deathly wish granted its gloom
   the confines of its living tomb?

Do streams of conscious flood its mind
   with thoughts of shores it left behind?
Be it wise to even dare
   to ask this lonely swamp to share?

For how could loneliness accrue
   where so much green absorbs the blue?
Has it no path to guide it through?
   sobbing, the tree responded true

"To delve into this sad bayou
   impossible it is to do
This loneliness you misconstrue
   is just the swamp

Inside of you"

Tripped in the mirror
And saw looking back
A sly fox
Of the swamp
Red of face,
Clad in black
But felt trapped
In his own
Little cage
And ensnared
By the various demons
Aware he was scared
Of how long in his lair
He had barely prepared
To go where
So few others
Discovered
Or dared
To return
With so little to show,
Teach or learn
But the churning
Internals
He yearns to discern

I want to be closer
To work more together
Collaborate whether
We’re under the weather
Or over the moon
For each other  
As lovers
Uncovered
Should naturally be
Where the butterflies fluttered

The morning forlorn
After stormiest grays
By the rooftop is borne
The residual rains
A mellifluous sound
Pitter-patter atop
The tin ticking in rhythm
To my alarm clock
To be tranquilly roused
From intermittent slumber
Dispelling my scatter-brain dreams
As the thunder
Recedes from the night before's
Boisterous bellows,
Awakes to the break of day's
Mellowest yellows
And shades of the silhouette trees
At high noon
Complimenting the hues
Of my colorless blues
But contrasted against
Scintillating elation
Of past paradise's
Fragmented mentation
Demented dimensions
Of polychromatic
Prismatic
Ecstatic
Sporadic sense
Magic
The tricks that it played
On my mind
Automatically
Made in my image
A timeless depravity
Gravity swept off its feet
With a stroke
Of a heart so replete
With the ones that it broke
And oh how it wrote
Of lament penitence
To dispense with such beauty
I haven't seen since

Hoping she’s sleeping
Not creeping about  
And in silence I’m keeping with
Demons of doubt
They keep nagging
And bragging
I told you so
Knowing
Before she invaded my heart
Overflowing
In storms of her turbulent
Surge volatility
Scourge of the underworld
Urging virility
Silly me thinking
She loses control
Just misplaces her mind
And embraces the cold

Told me I’d find her
Again
Unbeknownst to you
Wanted the best
For us both
But I ghosted you
Most often thought of you
Sealed in a phone
All alone couldn’t hold you
As closely
As home
So I formed a whole argument
For and against
You remain in my life
Or sustain its laments
The in favor
Could posit
Composite advantage
We’d save the whole world
With a liberal arts bandage
Abandoned no longer
Belong to each other
I’d call you by name
But insinuate lover
Come smother me,
Steal my breath
As it forgoes
Any need to resist
And desist
All opposed

Stats and factions,
Facts and fictions
Good intention’s
Contradictions
Lying dead
For promised land,
The losses gaining
Upper hand
Though seldom from it
Passes grasp
Of power into
Lower class
The apparatus acclimates
Itself
And then recalibrates
The plan
Then weatherman’s ad hoc
Projects its stocks
And locks the vox
Within a box,
An echo chamber,
Feedback loop
Of fueling anger
Just to get
One click away
From censoring
Each word you say
For pre-determined
Points for talking
Social credit score
Is stalking
Hawking eyes
Are everywhere,
Don’t blink,
Don’t think,
You wouldn’t dare

Insider traitors
Still trading our lives away
Charging us more
For the right
To go work all day

We all covet stages
Or platforms
To play on
Display what identity
Leads us astray on
Some tangent
Some rant
Raving rampage
Of madness
Celebrity complex
Of I
Have to have this
This status
Attention
The followers
Mention
My image
And likeness
My personal penchant
For myriad realms
Of myself economics
Authentic pretension
Anxiety tonics
Have long been its
Mass appeal
Crack Tok addiction
And fear of its makers
Our predisposition
But trust in its fakers
A base inclination
As well
If they’re selling
The end of humanity’s
Not worth rebelling

Let it elapse
Watch it flashing right past
Before eyes
Mystified
At the days gone
Aghast
At how so much has changed
Even more
Stays the same
And I’m older than
Ever before
I became
Mortal man
In his fallible
Fallacy
Folly
He thinks himself tall
Falls for her
Out in Bali
Enthralled
By he finally found
What he sought
Although not even
Actively looking
He taught
All he could
Still remember
Not quite a contender
For any awards
Except bested surrender
With fervor
Befitting
A fiery sermon
And still retrofitting
The Fates
I determine
With what I envision
Revision,
Rewrite
And reclaim every page
Like a thief in the night

Commanding machines
To do my
bidding schemes
Merely means to the end
Of all history’s themes
One more stain
Of a racial
In nature
On nations’
Supremacy legacy’s
Story creation
Remembered for glory,
And honor,
And pride
But forgotten by all
Of the commodified

Vultures and carrion
choirs conspired
I rose from the rubble
Ground zero
Admired
Domestically terrorized
Seven-year mind
In an instantly shattered
My people attacked
As I learned growing up
How much history stacked
On the odds
One by one
Like it’s fun
Reenact
Having seen how they crumbled
So carelessly cracked
By the Fed
We entrust
All our currency
Backed
And I saw it all bolstered
By oil and greed
By the war profiteering
American dream

Stop me if you've heard this
Tired joke
Another time
Before I tell my own rendition
And deliver the punchline
With all the impact of
A ton of bricks
Pianos from the sky
Falling down upon your head before
You laugh so hard
You die
Upon realizing just how swiftly,
Just how quickly
It is taken
Could be minutes,
Even seconds
But you never will awaken
Once the Sandman claims a stake in
You, and tips the hourglass
As you descend within its grains
To plummet past a flashing past
Before your eyes is cast
Rewind
What then becomes
The conscious mind
To have so ardently endured
Travails and trials
Of absurd
Why did you feel?
Why did you love?
Why look for answers
Up above?
Why seek you for
More to this life?
Why even suffer
Wrong and right?
When from beginning
To the end
Knew all along
Never again
Could you forestall
Inexorable
Nor rise from its
Impending fall
From whence we crawled
Out of its depths
And slithered till we
Stood *****
Will be the one and only
Destination that awaits
So stop me if you've heard
The twisted
Sense of humor
Of the fates

Practice living each day
Like you’re already dying
And maybe by night
Only slight
Suiciding
Ensues for you
Newly embracing the path
Or perhaps
Just forsaking its
Constant backtrack

I am peace in the flesh
A reprieve from distress
The primordial Netherworld’s
Retrospect death
An angelic embrace
Fall from Grace
Bliss despair
And I fluctuate
Dreamscapes
Like any nightmare

Depleting
Approaching
The close
Of my business
It’s none of your wishlist
And spent of forgiveness
So much as returning
A glance
Now accosts
Me a fortune
In earnings
I’ve turned
Into loss
And like Ivy
So poisonously
Academia
Billionaire socialists
Boast social media
Ghosting their former
Profile’s
Depictions
Recombinant matrix
Red pillage
Prescriptions
Now written
As freely
As AIDs in the 80’s
Pervaded
Their brains
And turned men
Into ladies

Make yourself at home
In my abode of humble origins
Where I define my peace of mind
With words that rhyme with oranges
And anything but ordinary
Heroism hieroglyphs
Encoded in my incomplete
Non-existential manuscript
Of daily raving lunacies
In patient anger wallowing
In lack of understanding
Why the leaders teach us following
A standard protocol away
From complicated formulas
That normalize us pay to play
Their game of life monopoly
For property and shopping sprees
And dollar trees they’re chopping down
To automate humanities

What downtrodden trails
Have I failed
To get paved
What uplifting travails
Upon my heart engraved
Have all made out
Like bandits,
Like hopeless romantics
Like kings and queens gambits
And Goldilocks planets
Beholden
To therein
The sunset is glimpsed
In ephemeral remnants
Of vacated bliss

Once you let go
It has taken its hold
So set out in the world
Let your story unfold
All of life is a journey
A tale to be told
The ones we remember
Are written in bold

On I’ve gone
Sifting through
Shuffled few songs  
Still embedding myself
Where I do not belong
As if I were expecting
The same to bring change
Others finding me strange
Former lovers estranged
And my brain
Not so painful
To use anymore
I just can’t seem to stop
Seeking peace
Where there’s war

Free peoples
Inherently equals
In status
Yet countless “illegals”
Made sheep in the paddock
Like bouts of the measles
Proliferate panic
Dehumanized by
A contrived apparatus
To those who resist
Cognitive dissonance
Dissidents
Do we want peace
And security
Caged?
Or do we want a war
So unlawfully waged?
On the ways
We identify
Seek affirmation
The species
Is specious
Compared to
The nation

Type caste system arch villain chillin’ like Ivan
The terrible chemical weapon describin’
The end of the world vibin’ lionized Mayan
Still skyin’ as high as a Lucy blood diamond
Fine dinin’ and winin’ with sabhines and sirens
Declinin’ these Roman Republican tyrants
A stubborn ******* beast of burden survivin’
Like ghosts of the guillotine dreamer revivin’
Enlightenment vivid with livid land minin’
Kaboomin’ the gloom when I see these kids dyin’
Just tryin’ to weather this Stormy norm climate
A violent sea risin’ and still you deny it
The science, in favor of implicit bias
Your nation-hate patriot ******* riot
Your ravenous consumer media diet
Your guns and your slaves, all your property private
Your for-prophet poverty trap spreading virus
Your silence of lambs in the face of Goliath
My sting with that sling got’chu feelin’ defiant

I’ve seen signs of life grow
As they dance within fallout zones
Hunger’s war-waged
Ravaged plains where no Jesus goes
Shopping for happy
And shinier things
A bazaar kind of market
Where real freedom rings
Over cannons crowns used to blow babies to bits
But now lion kings bow in the tigress’ midst
And in piles of ****’s where they let the pigs squeal
But the monkeys as gods still respect what they feel
By the river, the nurturing mother, the giver
Created by Brahma, the people, the mirror
As clear as the lotus blooms Saraswati
With the grace of a swan in my speech therapy
Where the wisdom of elephants steps to progress
And the mercy for mice carries it to success
And the cobra don’t strike lest the mongoose is stressed
For Surya sent his very best from the West
As it sets in a sapphire mango mirage
And it adds to this human collective collage
With monsoonal communal’s resurgent potential
To never change climates on what is essential

Dispelling the shadows
Of ignorance
Luminous
Lost in the night
Guiding light
From the numinous
Sent unrelenting
Spent afterlives
Venting
And so incrementally
Turned to attentively
Tending
And blending
The seed  
And the breed
To collectively learning
To write
And to read

Edit another flawed paper
Assignment
Resigned to the might as well
Profit from my
Acute eye for revising
Young writers’ hands guiding  
Surprising what some
Often feel like confiding

Back in this educate
State of mind
Earning
The title of writer
Inciter of learning
More mutually
Concomitantly
Guessing
The answers
The questions
The overall lessons
I plan so haphazardly
Somehow still getting it
Through to them casually
Just keep it simple
Be honest
Be there
And adroitly instill
This weird skill that I share

More beside
The shadows
Lull
Than where resides
Therein
The skull
Aware,
Ensnared
Enlightens
Glare
Determines one
Last love affair
One lost,
Aberrant
Hole
To bare it
One more squawking harp
To parrot
Just in finding time
To see
No clearer
Sheer
Uncertainty
Pervading through
Distortion’s view
Through every sentient
Inch of you

Look a bit deeper
Allow it to settle
Keep delving down further
Keep testing your mettle
For some day soon
Chances to prove it
Ensue
But may lose you
Could pass you right by
Never knew
Your potential
Intrinsically
No more,
No less consequential
Than hundreds of
Millions untold
Lifeless stories
You had all these dreams,
Aspirations,
But worries
Seemed always
To permeate floodgates
Of keep the gray days away
Dreadful at bay
Let it get to you,
Get you down,
In that state
Stay

I can do more
I just choose not to
Watched it sink
Like Vanuatu
Never claimed
To frame perfection,
Can not blame me
For oppression
I just did
The best I could
A little evil
Greater good
Is how I justify
My silence,
Tolerate  
A little violence
Now and then,
Determine when
The free will leads you
To the end
So judge me,
Criticize,
Deny
Resent me,
Curse me,
Question why
Some wants and needs
Remain unmet
How loving
Is my epithet
If all I give and take
Is kept
Within the mortal me mindset
And swept away
Someday decay
Without a second thought’s
Delay

From provenance
To Providence  
To prominence
I rise
Among students
And teachers
And principled minds
But in mines
I’m the guy
On the line
Getting by
All the while
Unearthing
What we
Stratify

We’re all just
Walking corpses
Mass extortionists
Exploiting
One another’s
Other lovers’
Generosity
Avoiding
Indiscretion
Infidelity
Indefinite
Decay
And in the interim
Infer
There must be someone left
To save

I am the stranger
Fall around me
Muses soothe
Instill,
Unbound me
Drowned,
Devoured,
Downward
Crowned me
Deity
Abyss surround me
In its heartless
Darkness
Found me
Wraithlike
In a state
Of fear
To glean this gleaming
Lucid
Sphere
Through all the eyes,
A vision
Clear

Hey you guise
What is really your name
What primordial phantoms
Still dance in the rain
What enchants you
Romances your
Dark necromancy
And grants its surrender
Without sycophancy
Reveals inner-workings
Of secrets entombed
What it feels
Like a gentle,
Identical wound
And it sees through
To where
You must shed
The veneer
And it shows you the way
That you truly appear

But dependence on senses
Can leave you deceived
And bewildered
In questioning
What you believe
To be true,
To be real
Is a desert of formerly
Forms that could feel
Now subsumed
And bemused
By the master technician
Encoding,
Uploading
Inhuman condition
Omission of any impulse
Organism
Yet even illumined
In stark opposition
Its iron fist
Surgically seizes
Submission
Securing its future
Is equally metal
And in its advent
Have we played instrumental
Components collectively
Bound to its reign
The mainframe
A control center
Artifice brain
In a vat
Of pre-programmed
Demanded supply
Of what choice you have left
To conform
And comply

We’ve mastered
Being busy
Being everywhere
But here
For in the now
Is seldom ever
Where we wanted to appear
Just something
Somewhere
We all more or less
Agree is good advice
But when we’re planning for the future
Overlook
The paradise
And present danger
Still contains her
Out of mind
And out of sight
So don’t pretend
To be awareness
Sanctimonious at peace
With every moment
In its passing
Without thinking what to eat
It all comes next,
It’s imminence,
It’s take it all away,
Within an instant
And you dread it
And regret it in dismay
When I emerge from the unsettled
Boiling kettle’s
Piercing shriek
I am the gravest warning
Storming
In your current lack of sleep

Writing some
Petty indifference
Aside
I could be anywhere
And not care
To abide
By the rules
I’m with you
All of you
Here in time
I just want it to end
Want it to
All subside
But I knew you
I felt that I really
Grew to you
Just couldn’t quite see
What it took
To see through you
Nor ever did grasp
What you rooted to
Truly

More Anarchic
Antarctic
Cold War games ensue
As around us
The one at home’s
Losses accrue
And the rest of you
Care more
If Kanye’s a Jew
While impunity reigns
For the fascist charade
We just all play a roll
In the FIFA slave trade
So now show me the binding law
Bent till it’s broken
No free market CAPS
On non-fungible token
Black comedy actors
Miscast
At the back
Of a lack
Of real color
Code switch
Hit of crack
And so let it persist
Mischievous
Can’t resist
If the rights
Don’t apply
To imperiousness
Fortresses of the rich
Sickened kids
In a school
Shooting upper class
Privilege is...
Fool’s Golden Rule

Dilemma
Conundrum  
Becomes the undoing
Of preconceived notion’s
Position renewing
Its self-assured
Reaffirmed
You interviewing
With demoralizing
In question
Belying
The answer must be
Part of me
Compromising
Components of my
Perfect worldview
Is skewed
So surrender to madness is
True rectitude

Inwardly introspect
Technical fouls
Still checking myself
Like a courtship of owls
And towering over my head
Ego reigns
I profess it with fiery sermons
Enraged
At an enemy
Memory
Bending me
Mentally
As I awaken
The madness in melody
Never exceed,
Never bleed
Dry of life
Save the need
To see fiends
At the edge of a knife
Let the steeds
In their stampeding tumult
Proceed,
Let the siege
Bring to ruin
Their temples of greed
Let tempestuous tyrants
Command hurricanes
I will summon the depths
To devour their claims
For the nameless one
Gave me a face
And its features
Erased its facade
My visage
Is the reaper
Procurer of withering souls
In the soil
Demurrer to furors
That free me in toil  
For only through struggle
Have we then progressed
May this echo
A Testament
To its unrest