Give up and quit
You want to stop writing
Put down the pen and just call it a Nightingale Lightning bolt failure
To spark any bulbs in the attics and
Basement’s creative misplacement
Still can’t seem to find my mind’s
Goodest vibrations

Distant
As dusk
Seems to darken the mood
When so much these days
Recollection
Still eludes
And the longer
I sit
And I stare
Contemplating
Dumbfounded
It scares me
And leads to berating
These strangers
So oddly
Familiar
Yet I
Can’t recall who it was
Earlier
I made cry
It’s as if
I’m aware
I don’t want to be rotten
But all reasons why
Are becoming
Forgotten

She seems to be drawn
To the tricks of my trade
To the art of my craft
To the cast of my shade

Like a moth to the flame
Of my flickering hope
Like a fiend to the drug
Of my slippery *****

Perhaps it evokes
Some chemistry questions
Addicting the senses
To crave my expressions

Reflecting the vision
She couldn't imagine
Would be chasing tales
Of my lurid sol dragon

Abandon the wagon
And blaze your own trail
With no holocaust
To my unholy grail

Come sail the exhale
Of my genesis breath
Come surf across brain waves
Of my ego death

But prepare to be swept
In my undertow's wake
When I rise and I fall
Like the tides of daybreak

Forsaken we'd make it
A night with each other
But no stars could fake it
My true sunlight lover

Beach party
Me
Is the center of gravity
All the unfolding
Revolving
Depravity
Slightly on edge
As I’m calm
In your presence
The ledge
To your bottle
Of anti-depressants
So kick off your shoes
Take the plunge
And unwind
Let the waves
Set the pace
Of the wake
Peace of mind

Now run the polemics
The rigged
Oil derricks
The towers you build
On the backs of the peasants
The offices brimming with
Cushy class clerics
The barracks
The ballots
The bastions
The bills
And the overprescribed
Overkilling us
Pills
Overfilling our plates
With dysmorphic
Ideals
Underserving
Community meals
You conceal
Generations of trauma
Decades of decay
For a gilded age
Golden gate
Ethno-state’s
Grave

Take a look at the sky,
It’s actually blue
Then look at me looking
Right back at you
Through
Peering into your eyes
One last time
I surmise
How to synthesize
All the emotions inside
Synchronizing them in
An intuitive tune
Like a peace and disquiet
I’m leaving too soon

I’m grateful
Is all I can say
On a day
Where dependence
Sustains me
And expertise may
Be the primary reason
I still get to write
Get to live to see futures,
Sleep soundly at night
Because I cannot cut
The afflictions from skin
Can’t return me home safely
From waiting rooms
Been
On the operate table
The last couple hours
As people who care
If I make it
Empower
My waking mind’s eye
To in vertigo
Know
That although
Limited
Not my time yet
To go

Contraptions enrapture
The thoughts in my head
Like the Black Widow Feds
Spin the global-wide web
Making beds
To be lied in
Belying the eyeless appliance’s
All-seeing
Spy-lids
With die kids
And ISIS’
World hunger virus
Deciding divisive devices disguised
As the iris’
Optimal optical scans
Are just scams
And we buy it
Like contraband-widths
We demand
They supply it
Reliant on intel cartel
Data pirates
Bespectacled specters
Of property private
Sectors stealing secrets
And quieting riots
To keep us compliant,
Complacent
And safe and secure
Our freedom-
Information
In their bidding war
With the state’s machinations
Harmonic convergence
To merge us as one
Motherboarderless
Servant
A mirthless,
Subservient
Permanent
Nervousness
Bliss on the verge
Of transcendence
To micro-chips
Cold, calculating,
Brain-drain
Pain-impervious
Hard-wired smiles
Like customer services
As all the while
They got us on file
If someone malfunctions
It’s to the junk pile
Of planned obsolete
Made in China deceit
Soon enough
The new stuff
Is complete
And released
To the public
Consumption
Effete, then deleted
The outdated being’s
Illogical reasoning
No longer needed
Not fiscally viable
When product placements
Make preferences pliable
No more investing in
Such unreliable
Feeling-based flesh-
Eating parasites,
Troglodytes
Nature’s blight,
Human rights
Merely an oversight
To the Lord Profits
Most prescient prophetic
Detective’s objective
A future perspective
On forced-course corrective
Behaviors unfavored
In apes
Less aggressive
And traits more impressive
To more uninventive
And more inattentive
Assembly line minds
From their vines
Disconnected
Preemptively programmed
To heed the directive
Effectively rendering
Life contraceptive
Selectively-breeding
Exceeding perfected
Like fascists on acids’
Exclusive collective
The watchers still watching us
Acting defective
Then tactfully cashing in
On more expensive
Preventative measures
To end such a pensive,
Depressive death-sentence
Condemned to a prison
Super vision’s
Sentience

Somewhere along the way
Remained the little kid
Afraid
Sustained
Defiance
In the face of evil
Nonetheless
Invade
Its wealthy bastions
Deepest passions
It’s subservience’s status
In its state of constant panic
Imitate
Its ***** habits
For the palace
That was promised
In the years of propaganda
Stayed a fantasy
Illusory
A loser’s memoranda
So forgive me
If in victory
I still feel sorely missed
When all they taught me was
An infantile
Ignorance is bliss

I once bloomed
In a room
Of my doom
Contemplating
Exhumed
From Necropolis
Insinuating
An afterlife
Merely goodnight
Perpetuity
Solely a blip
In the rift
Continuity
Needless to fear
Its finality fangs
Ever fruitless to reach for
The biggest of bangs

I no longer care
What I think of myself
Insecure in my
Glass house
Of cards I’ve been dealt
But can make of them
Victory
Seamlessly
Scheme with me
Banish dissent
To invent
More machinery
War economics
Is my peace of mind
By design
Histrionics
Employed in my rhyme
Non-aligned to the pact,
The accord,
Nor the treaty
Just break it like bread
Promises
To the needy,
A greedy,
Lascivious
Megalomanic
Discordant purveyor,
Soothsayer
Of panic
Promoter of voter
Fraud
Laud the fine people
On both sides of I’ll
Convince them we’re equal
But we know the truth
There can only be one
Absolute
Who so ruthlessly
Rivals the sun
And when done
With remembrance
Remains in the pages,
Parades and crusades
And the subsequent stages
Prophetic
Magnetic
Charisma
Engages
The masses again
And the muses by pen
Yet the mask
Shall be cast
From my face in the end

And now my day is done
I write the dumb
Sad song unsung
And hung the rest of my potential
From the gallows
In my lungs

If words could bring these people peace
Or freedom from Assad
I'd write a dissertation
Of my hatred for a God
Who turns his back
On bombs and blood
That paint these streets
In tears that flood
My veins with all the sorrow
Of these angels as they weep
For the fallen and the taken
For the homes obliterated
Into rubble of forsaken
Orphaned children mutilated
They awaken to the nightmare
Of their dreams asphyxiated
Choking on the dust of youth
Like infants you have fated
To starvation, dehydration
Desolation of creation
With no cause or explanation
Show your Holy Ghost and state it
******* coward, indicate it
Tell these people why you've waited
Tolerated these atrocities
That you have detonated
On the prayers as reciprocities
For faith still unabated
In their father of salvation
Power-drunk on condemnation
An abusive and neglectful beast
A sodomite of ****** daughters
Ravager of Mother Earth
You lead your sheep to slaughters

These are the words
Of one who has broken
With hope
Long ago
I can socialize
Well enough
Leave me alone
But enjoy it sometimes
What the others might say
Every now and then one
Or two
Welcome to stay
If they manage to deftly
Display their intriguing
Intelligence,
Intellect
Make me believing
Keep speaking
You have my permission,
I’ll listen
But bore me,
I’ll make myself scarce
Of opinion
You won’t get a peep out of me
After that
I don’t mean to be rude
Just exclude the chitchat

See you more frequently
Speaking in person
In total immersion
Within our best
Version
Is all I desire
But patiently wait
To biweekly
Engage you
And impulses sate
It’s so crazy
My lust for you
Can’t be expressed,
Or repressed,
Just addressed
Keep my hands to myself
Is impossible
Not optional
In the slightest
Unless it’s too much
Or my touch
Was of Midas

Enchanted shore descendant
Branch upon the kapok tree
In forests of El Yunque
The coqui songs compelling me
To write of the Taino sol
Still burning to be free
From The Lion's sword that bled
The pages of our history

Stolen land attendant
Encomienda living property
From roots of our ancestral bones
Was grown the crown's economy
Then baptized in the crosses' greed
They cleansed us of our savagery
A genocide of cultures made
Them rich with inhumanity

Kept at bay our independent
Luminescent solidarity  
Then poured in streams of Lares cries
To fields of pure cane tyranny
Yet caverns of Camuy echoed
The fleeting winds of liberty
To tempest warships harboring
A hurricane democracy

By '98 dependent
In '17  a new decree
Final draft trenches fulfilled
The ballot box with empty
Then sharpened territory clause
Reconstituted colony
Campos prison cancer cell
Vieques poisoned casualty

Infecting the resplendent
Contagious hope of sovereignty
Pandemics of oppressions past
Injecting present poverty
Virulent exploitation plagues
Still draining veins systemically
Indebted to the parasites'
Uncommon wealthy travesty

Got drunk and I wandered home
Aimlessly aiming
To full speed ahead
Into oncoming training
Myself to be better
Than more walk of shaming
Then blaming my lack of refraining
On some
Inability to
Feel again
More than numb

Then parts of you fade
That once wholly you made
The most vital component
Of how much you made
Not financially
More existential
Affirming
That all intellectual
Causes
I’m earning
The chance to excel
Don’t expel me disgraced
For a harmless,
Albeit now costly
Mistake
But you make of it
Consequence
Where none is needed
And take from me more
Than I ever believed in

Forgot a few songs
Then remembered them later
Attempting to live
To the fullest
And savor
The moment it hits me
And pits me against
What instinctively tells me
It ends in laments
More unbearable
Nay,
More unfathomable
Than the last time
Her tastes
Were unpalatable

It's not that I'm proud
Of mischief
Or misdeed
I don't flaunt
Impropriety
Blithely
At ease
And I often consider
The ramifications
On who is affected
By what I have taken
But still I revert
Consciously,
No remorse
To deliberate persistence
To veering off course
From a straight,
Perhaps narrow
And risk-averse path
But still one of integrity
Balanced, on-track
And progressing ahead
At sustainable paces
But reckless behavior
Is off to the races
The truth is
I like it
The thrill of the steal
The adrenaline, nerve-pumping
Rush
I can feel
And enjoy
I'm remiss to admit
Is the most fun I've had
In this boring cesspit

Don’t want to feel alive
So go switch off
Concede the time
Is not of yours
For any taking,
Any making
Of design
Refuse to speak
Don’t deviate
From fate
Is sealed
In shades of bleak
Rejuvenated
From the enervating
Make a living week
If you go seeking
Conversation
You might find
Only deceit
But when you try,
Revitalized
By what you say
Begets replies

Not quite an impediment,
Seldom a detriment
Just a self-conscious
Propensity to
Pensively reconsider
Each word that I choose
Like anomic aphasia
But undiagnosed
When I can’t comprehend
Even thought’s innermost
Best syntactic formation
Dictates fluctuation
And makes me some ramble-on,
Scrambling to find
What I even intended to say
Half the time
And then oh!
There it is
Where I’m going with this
Yes a piece about speech
And the topics it shifts

Beckoned,
Allured
By her tempting enchantments
The goddess of love
So enraptures me
Granting
Her sirens
Commanded
To pleasure,
Untether me
Take me away
To a world
Of forever free
To be immersed
In this curse
Divine feminine
Elegant in
Its resplendent  
Serenity
Though so detached
I soon longed to return
To one in which man
Had hence from me
Once spurned

Forbidden fruit
Looms over head
Just out of reach
From where I tread
Floodwaters from
Parched-tongue
Receding
Hands outstretched
To branch retreating
Slightly as it seems
To ripen
Spitefully
Invokes excitement
As the luscious
Treasure drips
Each drop eludes
My pursing lips
Resistance to
The torture tempts
Lamenting impudence
Torments
Me from the grace of gods
I fell
Expelled from whence
My hubris wells
Up high upon their pride
They dwell
Bemused, they cease to feud,
Revel
In what their clever
Living hell
Impels me to
Their retributions
Punitive, sin-cleansed
Ablution
Everlasting longing,
Yearning
To escape
These cravings
Burning
Learning all too late
The lessons
Mortals fated
To transgressions
Yet again
Unless they heed
Premonitory tragedies
We leave behind for them to read
And bear in mind
The planted seed

Starting to dream in the language
But wish
Explanation translations
Were easy as this
Seems to be for me
Writing comes naturally,
Freely it flows
But to them it would be
Something only few know
How to even begin
To interpret my syntax
Relaxing and chatting up
Chewing on chat
And for that taking part
Demands speaking it back
But I lack the right words
To talk to them with tact
And enrich conversations
Of indigent thought
With invaluable bundles
Of muses I brought

Eviscerate
Take from me
Leave me defenseless
Who knew
A mistake
Could become
So portentous
Incenses
Ineffably
Target acquired
But seldom is I
The object of my ire

Searching for
Edification
Relation
Not only
Have so much in common
Elation
I guarantee you and I
Aren’t so similar
Maybe I’m salt
And you taste more like vinegar
But
Just because
They go great
When together
Does not mean they should be
Tongue-tipping forever

Now feel it flow through you
The upper
Class privilege
And rip it to shreds
In your miscreant mischief

She is just wow
One I’m thinking ‘bout now
And in subsequent moments
I know she’s around
Won’t forget what she sounds like
Tenacity sweet
And I can’t even speak
Save for when our eyes meet
I’m replete with
A million dumb things I could say
But I don’t overthink it
Just let her hit play
And convey with precision
Her smile,
Her laugh,
Is my only sole mission,
My finalized draft

What comes after
Departure
From my life beyond
Overwhelms me with dread
But she will not be gone
From my head
From my heart
Mark my words
She lives on
And I cherish her memory
Dearest along

The despondent,
Impending,
Oblivion
Vast
That ensues
In her passing,
Impels me to grasp
Desperately
At her fading,
Pervading
My wavelength
I’ll still be here waiting
Delighted,
Enamored,
Ignited
I’ve stammered

To pair with her,
Share with her,
How hard I fell
As if Icarus plummeting
Under her spell
Like an elven enchantress
Divines how my mind
Will respond to the message
And mirror the vibe
Redefines what attraction
Exaction
Could be
In totality
Even the world
Less than she
Means to me

The liberal dove hawkin'
On parakeets squawkin'
Talk 2 different lingos
Up at the board chalkin'
And still stalkin' pages
Of history's past
Until it's what I'm teachin'
To these kids in class

Why does it feel
So romantic to me
If you don’t seem to care
Seem to share
Mutually
I can only write so many poems
Before
I relinquish Lenore
And embrace nevermore
Why implore you
To be more responsive
Or change
If I want that already
It must be too late
For this we stuff to make it
Make sense
Adding up
Want my heart?
It’s yours,
Take it
Just break it enough
To be never forgotten,
Abandoned,
Betrayed
Self-fulfill all your prophecies
I’m here to stay

I wish I had a rhythm
So to set these words in motion
For my flow is as a river
But the dissonance, an ocean
In the ignorance outspoken
From the crashing angel tears
As sky sanctuary cityscapes
Bemuse my ringing ears
With a symphony of fears
Towards celestial ascensions
Too divine to comprehend
My God ethereal dimensions
Where the clouds are my inventions
When I'm feeling so azul
But my mind is Montezuma
My Mexica heart to rule
For the sun is my crown-jewel
And though adorned am I in gold
The power of my sacrifice
Comes from this pen I hold

Whole world is burning
And I just got fired
When did I become
Prone to failing
And mired
In following orders
To still no avail,
For surely some side effects
By compare
Pale
To this ghastly affliction
Still plaguing me thus
I am just
Never good enough
To the side brushed
Like the dust in the wind
Except worth even less
When I clean up my act
I just make a worse mess
Of performances
Albeit standards are high
And at times seem impossible
Why even try

Mud-caked boots
Sink into the human roots
Habesha people make their homes
Of sticks and stone
Ancestral bones asleep beneath  
The Rasta prince’s lion throne
Divining water into honey wine
An extra month, some years behind
A sense of time unfettered by
Gregorian design
For here is where imperials in arms
Still fear to tread
But Terrors Red still fed the masses
With some promise broken bread
And circuses of war and bloodshed
Left a union in its stead
It stands unconquered on the continent
A gateway to the heavens
Conjures torrents from the halkan sky
With mighty independence
To remind the lone ferenji
Of its wild zealot prayer
And then at peace it shares its secret
Unrequited love affair

This isn’t so bad
When we hear what we read
But I still want to speak to you
Love you and leave
You know me
Always running
Away from the conflict
But seeking it out
Like a wannabe convict
I’m on to the next
Best political tact
To be one with the people,
Methodically act  
Like I own the place
Homeless
Or housed in a hopeless
Rich fortress of decadence
My magnum opus
Is penned either way
And each night to you gifted
A piece of the me that day
Puzzle unscripted

Immediate longing
For you when alone
Irresistible urges
Keep checking my phone
And when sudden emerges
The blue little dot
All my prior engagements
Already forgot
Now my worded arrangement
Bouquets
I convey
And take care to precisely
Concisely display
The true colors
Of my
Truest lovers’
Goodbyes
Across canvas oblivion
Spilling insides

Just need a few minutes
Reiterate interest
Respond to my text
And then shut up and listen
To anything
You have to say
When we meet
When we see how we look
As we talk and we eat
But I can’t help but wonder
Between now and then
How much day can transpire
Before hitting send

Rendered expendable
Merits commendable
Just not the right
Fit for you
At this time
Heard it once before
Now
I can’t leave it behind
Wasn’t good enough
Failed
To meet standards  
Unfair
And availed no comparison
Income upscaled
But I’m making more now
Doing less than I’d hoped
I’m the office space coffin’s
New friendliest ghost

They had a big heart
Know they did
Why they died
They were living
For eating
And dying inside
Unreservedly love
They imparted to others
But bound to their
Cravings
The decadence
Smothers
And deeper
In deeper-dish
Dissonance
Lingers
The blood sugar
Insulin
Plantation’s cane
Now the Neo-Monopoly’s
Game of weight gain

Sorrow is loss
I believe
I can feel it
And any man's hand
Has the will
To reveal it
But that of a creature
Unknown to your kind
Is required to grasp the kind
Of which is mine

I’ve never seen
Your eyes so red
Just look at me
Tell me
The dread
Is welling now
Remember you
In everything
I thought I knew
Was you
Was me
Just make it bleed
Just make it never
End
In grief
Just don’t reduce
Us to
Deceit
Unless I’m with you
All I knew
And comes to see
The world anew

I do this again
And again
And again
Hurt the ones that I love
When love’s all
I intend
To stay true to its course
To renew its remorse
To resort
To finality’s
Looming divorced
From reality’s
How much I try
Just to fail
Disappoint you
Go down with the ship
As you bail
Walk away
Without saying
If this is goodbye
That you’d really feel
Better off
Waiting to die
Or devising
Some sooner conclusion
Exclusion
Of me and you lost
To the cost
Of delusion
But needless
Assurances
Meet expectations
Like promises break
Before I even make them
Just stake them through hearts
And return to my coffin
My solitude tombs
Of increasingly often
Immersed in your silence
Where my mistakes shriek
I am puny,
Irrelevant,
Useless,
And weak

Graduated with honors,
Made love like a beast
Earned my place among the muses,
Then championed peace  
The world over
Alone
Far from home
Have I roamed  
And then into my tombstone
I chiseled unknown
But no, never forgotten
A rose from the coffin
My unfinished business
To witness the autumn
From where I was raised
To emblazon its flare
Like the winter fox
Facing
The mighty black bear
Have I tread on undaunted,
By her ever haunted,
Heartbroken
I wrote to her
Lost and exhausted

But never lost sight
Quite completely
Of who
I am proud
Son of Judy
And friend of the few
Coolest dudes on this rock
And imbued with their brotherhood
Seek to unlock
What we’ve yet to learn
Searching
The infinite depths
Even if
All we find
Is an imminent death
We were here
We were real,
Redefined how we feel
Our ideals indomitable,
Adamant steel
And unyielding our strive
To be more than alive
So let this be my testament
Ever in time

But see that’s why it’s nuts to me
Waiting on you
Since I did it to you
Without thinking it through
To conclusion
Seclusion
Is where I am now
But adapting my senses
Eternally
Bound
To communicate human
And state what my prey is
Conveying the union’s
Peace beast in his cages
Lay waste the creators
With demon exertion
And purge the earth-fakers
With worthy subversion
Befitting the finest
Idealists at play
Our posterity learning
Their brilliant display
Is the way we keep turning
With all it in tune
And that even delusions
Can land on the moon

Your causes are broken
I’m bending through hoops
Your free speech is verboten
In tending to groups
Thinking no more abortion
Just lawful contortion
Of what formerly
Would’ve hanged for
Extortion
Endorsements
Of donor class
Actors
Who funnel
Our funds
Through their private jet
Public debt
Tunnels
And I am just funnily
Flipping the pages
And balancing beaming
To multiple stages
As wages stagnate
And the nation implodes
And the state is a circus
Of nobody knows

Almost had me there
Pit of despair
In succumbing
To what degradations
Would see me becoming
Your most faithless servant
Though loyal to fault
Go to war against joy
In an all out assault
On good tidings
And pleasantries
Kindly dispense
With impediments
Left
On my path to contempt
And I’d hold them all
Equally
Most firmly
In it
A judge
And not one
Crack of smile
Forgiven

We triumph for those who have known us in glory
And in utter ruin remember the story
Acknowledge our valor, our power to keep
Braving all odds unheeded, march into the deep
Preserving a legacy not quite our own
Be of foes we have bested to reclaim the throne
Or of people we’ve wrested from brinks of despair
Abject in their poverty, dreamless nightmare
As we serve higher causes of righteous assurance
Our quest ever dauntless against the abhorrence
An amoral mass of the impure intent
In our ascent raise them from endless lament
To depart from a world to for years we have been
But as shadows to those of us living in sin
For it is but of ours time itself meets its fate
And begins to devour us all in its gape

Can’t rely on a like
And a message
To smile
This find a wife life
Will get old
In a while
And already starting
To bore me
In normalcy
Promising prospects
Condemn me
Remorselessly
Playing the field
With my feelings
Exposed
Vulnerabilities
Shared
Should’ve kept them
Enclosed
In these letters to no one
Specifically reading
Intentions and purpose
To keep them from leaving