Mania’s
Micro dose
Host
Mostly harmless
Hostility felt
But at least I disarm it
Before going public
With my uncouth nature
The truth is
It’s some kind of anxious
I’d wager
And smirking
And lurking
And chuckling with glee
Appears lunacy
When it’s just me
Gloomily
Having full conversations
With shadows
And wind
But externally
Ear to ear
Stretches my grin

Lurking deep
Therein
The skin
The chapters
Formerly
I’ve been
And hid within
The shadow cast
Your judgments
Now my weapons cache
But only is
Its violence
Wielded
By my stylus
Shades
Of shielded
In a surface
Level
Worthless
No stone left
Unturned
Can hurt this
Novel
Storied
Introduction
Not for best-sale
Mass production
Only copy
Is reflection
1st edition
Sheer expression
Ever in my image
Molding
Meta-narratives
Unfolding

Holes in my running shoes
Same old recycled news
Nooses
And crosses
And lost is our
Helpless youth
Soothing albeit
To see it
Inspired
To rise to the skies
Like a funeral
Pyre
Aspire
To signify
This is defiance
Our dog eat dog world’s
All too human
Alliance
And we compromise
With our difference’s
Union
But never on vision’s
Imperial ruin

What reassurances
Can you provide
That I’ll have a good time
If I let you inside
We have standards here
Prove yourself
Worthy of entry
I’ll gladly embrace you
And lay down the sentry
With room for more friends
I can always find space
Just don’t waste my time
Pacing your mouth
In my face

Just give me the ocean
My only last bastion
My massive
Enormity
Thralldom
Comes crashing
To swallow me whole
Then unfold
My serenity
Visions of boundless
Effulgent
Prosperity
Stretching and spanning
Horizon tomorrows
To bottle me up
In a vial of sorrows
I’ve written to her
Ever faithfully true
And submerged in her mysteries
I am deep blue

So easy to be
Orderly
And restore
Any semblance of normalcy
Stocked and in store
Keeps it going,
Consuming,
Producing more goods
Till the last residential
Devours the woods
But I like
To stay hungry
Then all at once feast
Like collective potential
To harvest the wheat

Leave it to me
Let me write what you need
I could feed you on barely enough
Left to eat
Or on dollars a day
Make it one way
Or other
Provide for you
Luxury’s
Status wealth lover
But little else I
Could imagine
We’d want
But I bet at least some
Impish trinket
Would taunt
Us to selling out vision
For dead inside living
Be happy,
Be housed
Have a feast on Thanksgiving

Apparatus
Against us
It wickedly
Works
From worthlessness
Into a purchase
Converts
Any currency
Currently
Rotting in vaults
Any hapless
Homemakers
Estranged in their faults
So deranged
In their stranger things
Bingeing
Addictions
Adrift
In the rifts
That still shatter the kitchens

Move swiftly beyond you
Within you
Without
No idea what I’m doing
Or talking about
Probably look like a maniac
Flailing around
Think aloud
In a shroud
Of stentorian sound
To the pounding of drums
And the shrieking of strings
To the tweaking of twangs
Comes the spreading of wings
Sing a symphony
Harmlessly
Charm passerby
I exalt the high heavens
And earth deify
Still accepting she’s gone
But can’t comprehend why
Like the rest of this life
It goes on
Out of sight
And preserving its remnants
The reason I write

This digitized age
In a monetized cage
An embarrassing stain
On my Meta verse page  
Disengage from it all
I’m ashamed to be human
If all we aspire to be
Techno Union
In ruins though still
Cities sink in the sea
And the forests consumed
By the me industry
What to gain
And possess
What to have
And to hold
As skyrocketing prices
Become a black hole
Of black gold
In demand
But supply lines
Are drawn by
Invisible hand
And command economics
Still branding the tyrants
In stoking this broken
Woke culture war
Virus
This token protest
When it ought to be
RIOTOUS
Spare me your fair-weather
Advocate piousness
Bias confirmed
Now submit to your highness
And stick to your screens,
Salivate to the violence,
Relinquish your voice
As they thrive in the silence

Crooked cronies crowing
For a fatter slice
Of pie
Murderous
The blood is flowing
Reservoirs
Are running dry
And all the while
Skying high
The eagle profits,
Cuts its losses
And makes turkeys
On Thanksgiving
With its guns
And burning crosses
And its greater
Costs of living
Of the doves
And hawks
The parrot squawks
Their dreams of being free
But from behind
A barred complex,
A nest,
A caged
Hypocrisy

They teach you to ****
That the only tomorrow
Is waking up sorrow
And working for bills and a bottle of pills
And in products they sell you
Steel bends to their wills
Oh, but you’ll never make it
Continue to break it
Their system just teaches you
How you must take it

I only know
So low it goes
Written down
And with each note
Composing
My hole in the ground
Be it of my
Enormity
Hubris
Reborn
As my self-esteem’s
Self-loathing
Vision
Reformed
Just remember me
Staunchly
And stoically
Stolid
Amassing my fortunes
Like orphans
In squalid
Conditions
From riches
To rags
I was given
My recompense
Just more expensive
Laments of my privilege
A whole village
Left
In the wake of my dream
Be at peace
With profession’s
And profit’s
Cuisine

This was all I wanted
All I hoped could be for me
But you just took it
And removed it
From my every reverie
And never see me
In this place again
Dispose of me like trash
And then you look me in the eye
And lie
With each pretentious slash
Across my face
Erase my stasis
Back to basics
I was making
Only more of
Complications
When you looked at me
Could feel the tension
Churning aggravations
All too late for me
To state my place
Embrace the wasted spaces
I have occupied too long
Belonging
Only to the void
And in the shadow
Of your banishment
My future is destroyed

It’s in fearing I would lose you
So ironically
I did
Although presuming that I “had” you
Was a claim
We’d both forbid
And so refraining
From what makes you
Say you’re happy
And me not
The never certainty
Perversity
Poked holes into the plot  
And the conclusion
Was the usual
Disaster tragedy
But you remain
The most endearing,
Most enduring
Casualty

Once I dwelt in darkness
Casting shadows from the flame
That formed and freed my conscious mind
From confines of the cave
And out into the nascent light
I took bewildered steps
To see omniscient suns arise
From ignorance's depths
To question, think and learn of all
The truths yet to discover
To smell and hear and taste and feel
The vision of a lover
Vivid vixens in the vibrance
Of my radiant rebirth
Philosophical phenomenon
Had redesigned the earth
And redefined the buried meaning
Which I try to share in vain
With all my brothers and my sisters
Still within the cave

Ruin me
Leave me eschewed
From indulgence
Removed from
Illumined,
Enlightened
Effulgence
For brightness no longer
Dispels what the dark
Can so harken me back to
And seamlessly spark
Reminiscence
Insistence
On spectral
Temptation
Forsaken
Intruders
From dreams
Reawaken
Retracing my steps
To misplacing regrets
Just reveals
That I feel
Empty nest
Hollow threats
Either change
Or keep feigning
Your value equates
Unconditional love
In two natural-born apes

Balance
Between
A hubristic
Humility
Deafening roars
Upon shores of tranquility
Lost in a storm
Of more social anxiety
Rot to the core
Of my shriveled
Sobriety
Tired
Go home
Girl and I
Can unwind
And even unsaid
There is pure
Peace of mind

Everyone’s so averse to solitude
But madness is more of a perpetual state
for me
Just varies in
Severities
And barely
Even
Scares me
Anymore
I’m more abnormal now
Aborted my ambition
And create instead
A battleground

We are one god together
Your anger
Comes from places of good
Intentions
Freedom isn’t free
But it should be
No?
The tech kids are on us
The technoids
Supply us
I’m no villain
But it’s fun
To pretend to be one
Sometimes
Been singing it long since
I found you
Unbound you
How alone
That I really was
Hung on the phone
But I wrote of the dirges,
The scourges
Of passion
And somehow
You heard them,
And took to their fashion
Despite how it clashed
With the outfitted
Madness
The first thought
To pop
In my head
An old adage
Went something like
She wasn’t meant to be
Waves at the sea
Wasn’t meant to be you
Wasn’t meant to be me
Couldn’t see
Every
In the unity beam
Nor as high
As my smoldering wings
Carried me
There was her
There was him
There was light-dimming
Din
Resonance
In the fading of timeless
Again
There was kings
There was queens
There was ambient
Fiends
There were beings
Redeeming
My fatalist fates
In the face of believing
And then intervening
To herald my victory
Triumphant
Eulogy
Proud to be falling
In love with serenity
Dare as I
Bold as the
Erinyes
Bearing me
Sharing my mystery
Glimpse of infinity
With what remembrance’s
Remnants
Remain
In the current rendition’s
Revisionist page

A wrathful
Shameful
Sordid soul
My sole objective
Lose control
No goal I haven’t yet
Achieved
Except forget her face
Aggrieved
When my temptation
Can’t resist
Alluring me into the midst
Of dissolution’s
Weather vane
I wither in
The acid rain
And can’t contain
The desert thirsting
Don’t come closer
Bubble bursting
Worst of all
My uses few
Eschew from trying
Something new
If all it costs
Is gainful time
Another daily
Nickel
Dime

We’re all a little mad in here
Inside the rhyming riddle realm
Where ravens are like writing desks
And jibber jabberwockies dwell
In incoherent babble
Metaphysically poetry
Identities in crisis
Heads will roll
As we let go of me
In search of wonderlands
Preserving childhood naiveté
The most peculiar dreams
Have come to party over tales and tea

The only gift sweeter than ***
Is knowledge
The only force more powerful than love
Is wisdom
I offer them equally, but reserve them completely
For without them, my enemies, surely
Defeat me

Haven’t had time
Been deprived
Of the kind
Of catharsis
My heart is
To trash bins consigned
It would just be impractical
Revenue squandered,
Instead I scheme how to make
Money more laundered
Go longer into
The approaching end
Game
And victorious
Finally
My throne to claim
Will be lonely as ever
A crown of dead weight
Barely ruling myself
In a court desolate

Lean up against the wall
And wait
Someone will be along
To state
Sooner or later
What they make
Themselves appear to be
Awake
But I’m aware
The only one
Who’s really in here
Having fun

You have to let the thinkers think
The dreamers dream
The speakers speak
The schemers scheme
The wolves among us feast on sheep
The shepherds teach them how to reap
The harvest of community
The plenty space for unity
If being free is what we want
Equality must be the need
Prioritized beyond our profit
Mass-producing greed machine
Still colonizing everything
Then selling you the diamond ring
The social contract theory bomb
The buffer states that look like Guam
And from the satellites they beam
That perfect family fifties feeling
Reaching for your credit card
With isolation’s *** appealing
Movie star aestheticism
Gaping black hole fetishism
Whispering it’s holiest
Pale ghosts of fascist soviets
Still letting all the thinkers think
The dreamers dream
The speakers speak
The schemers scheme

As money sorts the in-between

Irrelevant to anything
And relative to everything
Irreverent and vengeful
I just let vendettas fester
Irrespective of the damage
That it does,
Leaves me a specter
Of intuitive  
Construed
As disapproval
Of the members
Of society
Dismembered
From futility attempts
To settle conflicts,
But engendered
Is this neutral and submissive
Craving orderly
Pretense
But still regardless
Never shown
And never known
My true intents

All the realms of insanity
I’d sooner tread
Than be lost
In accosting
Immutable dread
For a shred of my dignity
Left to preserve
When the world
In its turning
Is malcontent verve
Wishing ill
On another
A massacre
Fracture
A captured
Caged-animal’s
Faithless
Enrapture
Encompass me
Weak
In conceit
Self-deceit
And expose my undoing
Like red upon wheat

Can do
Almost anything now
For a profit
The older I get
The less likely
I stop it
This urge
To encourage
The remonstrance
Resonance
Counter-intelligence
Twisted
Its gifted
Most fervent
Resistance
Enlisting in
Anthropomorphic
Existence

Sitting in
On the these meetings
We have to stop kidding ourselves
There is meaning
Just rhyme without reason
So force me to plan
There’s no time of the season
Returning their land

Try to keep me from my students
I’ll be back with retribution
Execute
My education
Like an edifice
From ruin
For consumed
In long entombed
Devoid of purpose
I collapse
Without a point
Through which to put it
On this page
Within my grasp
I am aghast,
Must teach the class
That this divides us from the beasts
But has the power
To unite us
As a species that can speak

When reaching the brink
Take a step back and stare
At the rest of the world
To remind me to care
A bit less
About frivolous nonsense at work
One more email detail
That I miss
Isn’t worth
The discouraged,
Demoralized,
Downright
Defeatist
Default to disdain
For these office elitists
When it
Isn’t perfectly preened,
Polished etiquette
Judgment and drudgery
Dress-rehearsed rhetoric
Better yet
Let me explain
My mistakes
At a pace
All too hasty
And cutting the brakes
On the full speed ahead
Destination soon dead
And the tire treads’
Only distraction
Is dread
That I’m digging my grave
Where I’m building my home,
That I’m going in circles
Where I used to roam

Keep them all compiled
Secret files
Filed far away
Collection of my written work
The words I'd never say
And couldn't possibly articulate
In more profound a way
Than some I guess
Poetic mess
No right-mind artist
Would display

Plague pervades
In your trans mission  
Whole world burns
In my ignition
****** crows
Have unbecoming
Portents of
A malice mumbling
Numbing
Death is sweeter whence
The senses drenched
In effulgence
Where victory still stains my blade
In history’s
Enslavement trade
And bade the vanquished
Anecdotal
Frozen shadows
Of Chernobyl
Therein lies
Perfection’s ruin
Too much idealizing
Human
Idolizing idle tyrants
Prone to thrones
Imposing violence
Silent in the face
Of doom
I am the sickle’s sonic boom
This is my voice of treason’s
Tomb

Undoubtedly real
Just can’t make it here
And ending up
Back on the streets
Is my fear
Weary-wandering
Squandered
My last tachyon
Of potential
Resentment incarnate
To her
Detrimental
Eventually
Anchored to love’s
Codependency
Pulling the petals of lust
Incrementally
Just a few thoughts
Inescapably
Lingering
Confidence slain where it stands
And I’m hindering
Any constructive
Deduction
Mistaken
Like prodigal sons
Of the oneness
Forsaken

Doesn’t seem to make sense
Why is anyone tense
Can we not just relax
And omit the pretense
Just admit
We are flawed
Some of us
Above law
As the others below
Long ago
Made our peace
But it speaks of injustice
And hushes its streets
Is inured
To succumbing
Insured
Against loss
And desensitized
Genocide
Keeps you addicted  
Submitted,
Subdued
In their ruse
You’re enlisted
So march
Soldier on
To recurring mistake
Let your pride
In our homicide
Rate
Make us great

Running so far
And hard
Hitting the trenches so hard
For a living
In service
To purposeless
Since the beginning
By practically
Shaping
Ideas into forms
Gone as I
Can surmise
Was the source
Of her scorn
Wounds will not cauterize
When one actively healing
The other
Bleeds out
Every ounce of sincerity
Cannot amount
To apology
Eulogy
Ever my words
Have meant but
Incredulity
Like singing birds
Go unheard
Nothing new to me
In the ensuing
Routinely
Bombarding
Accruing
The losses
And with them
Departing
The battlefield
Having secured
Lasting peace
In which horrors of war
Can so restlessly sleep

Excluded to me
Only one who sees
Wrong
Ever has our approach been
So flawed all along
So few willing to change
Reevaluate courses
Of action we take
Can’t unmake
The creationist’s stance
Just evolve
To sustain in the acid rain
Storm we dissolve
Or we starve
Carven stone
Of our monument reads
But a testament to
Our insatiable greed

Put all these languages
Into my own
Yet still can’t seem to find
The right words
That have shown
What she means to me
Meant to be
Not ascertained
But intuited
Nonetheless
Just unexplained
How it falls into place
How for thirty plus years
Unaware of her face
Now I see it in waking
In dreaming
Embracing
Perhaps the remainder
Of no more retracing
My steps
When the next
Foot in front of me
Guides me
To her course correct

You’ll never be one
When you’re grounded,
Divided
And bound in the chains
Of the masters providing
Supply-sided voodoo illusions
Of choice
And invisible hands
Puppeteering your voice
The split-faction distractions
Stagnating the nation
The meds in your heads
Aggravating your hatred
Awaiting your saviors
To say what you feel
As you’re bent to the will
Of the ubermensch steel
But the realest idealists
Are up here with me
And forever we muse
Of the truth
LSD

Vengeance or justice
A thinning blue line
They mete it out
Dole it out
Punish the crime
Keep us safe
Keep us facing
The wall
In disgrace
Like we’re already guilty
But make no mistake
They are just the slave-catchers
The shackles and chains
Their immunity
Qualified
By the bloodstains
On the pavement,
The backpacks,
The halls of our homes
And their failure
To serve
And protect us
Arose
From systemically racist
Agendas
And schemes
To be for-profit prison’s
Enforcement machines

Mortality is my employ
Morbidity I do enjoy
Dying just to hear them speak
Lifeless just like them I seek
Another cause of death unknown
To but a corpse of skin and bone
Examining these open wounds
With patience in my waiting tombs
Marking multiple locations
Here and there, these lacerations
Trauma to the fractured skull
Damaged by the voided null
Bound and gagged, the hands and throat
Then who I wonder wrote the note
It speaks of pain and pleasured grief
How all of it the pen bequeathed
Before the overdose resurgence
Suicidal peace emergence  
Body bags unzipped to see
The recently deceased is me

Stock cars crashed
Driving debt thrashed
Our urban decaying
Poor middle class
Left to rot
By Goldman Sachs
An evil plot
Inflation stacks
Gouged and slashed
By price whip cracks
That lashed
A housing bubble
Popped and cashed
In manufactured  
Congress acts
Only fractured
Breaks in tax
For the matador contacts
Bail out the stashed
Credit attacks
Even though they swung the axe
Of industry
Complex contracts
And bills are passed
Just as fast  
As their demands
Supply no dime of wealth
Back to our hands
No time for health
Or jobs
Or dreams
Or any of the in-betweens
Put all that last
Kick back, relax
Atop your new world order caste
Yet at the bottom of a gap
So vast
Is where we gather now
Amassed
Asking how
We are
The Crashed

Now cackle and crackle
Cold space is my castle
Enrapture me Violet
And Amber my brides
My crimson allure
To their talons as knives
To the woods in my eyes
To my sovereign command
Of the dark lullabies

I’m the 10th of the 9
I’m the Morgoth of mind
And my equals and I
Have long darkened the sky
With the engines of war-
Profiteering skewed boar
With the pride of our kin
And the roar of the shore

We want more out of life
For we’ve seen how it grows
We think first human, write
And then teach me your prose
But we know such a tale
Needs a villain to turn
Every page this kid’s
Teaching itself how to learn
How to best the dread dragon
With money to burn

Think of a way
Of restating
The obvious
More captivating
The awe-stricken
Audience
With a more personal,
Visceral
Form
From a gloom-ridden,
Tomb-bidden
Womb it is born
And exhuming its
Daily death wish
Is a chore
Willfully I oblige
To provide you with more

It’s there when I need It
To forge into steel
The impervious tumult
Exultant I feel  
From the bowels of misery
Dregs of despair
From oblivion’s shadow self
Shrieking nightmare
Indomitable nature
Contained in the shred
Then extreme pressure
Pounds it
To unbridled dread
And impending doom
Drums
Like the thunderbolt
Stuns
And for powers that be
Or kids playing with guns
It becomes what awakens
And reaps ever-sleep
And for overlords weeping
Their demons as deep
It shall keep vivifying,
Reviving,
Igniting
Expressing itself
Like the muses alighting
And then
The crescendo,
The denouement drops
And forever the flow
Of its force never stops
Breaking down
The eternal fear’s
Molten blade mold
And it sharpens its bite
On god killers of old
Now embolden the brush
And the pen
And the mic
Then profess its soul stainless
Unto the last night

I am the dungeon-est
Crab
Random bag
That you grab
When indifference
To existence
Is a hit,
A pull,
A drag
We can’t be all
Devoid of meaning
Surely reason
In believing
Am I wrong?
But what is right?
Who is to say?
I merely write

Bury
The verity
Flowers on graves
Are like coffins
Of cargo
Containers of slaves
And the heroes
Have vacated
Privatized shores
And the product
Keeps pushing down
No-knocking doors
And the wars
Are a whirlwind
Of feeds
On repeat
Leading us to believe
That the truth is a tweet