Been infallible
Idols
And I dole out
Judgment
Save all of the punishment
For my repugnant
Begrudging
Bewildered
Beleaguered
Bedeviled
Form-fated
To fade
Disappearing
Disheveled
Upon revelations
That I do not make it
Don’t tell her I love her
And through my heart stake it
And take with me
Only the burden
Of buried
Across
The flow souls
Like a river
I’m ferried
For there we
Once were
Once contained
Me and her
And it murmurs
Its resonance
Lulls its allure
Unobscured
In translation
That there is no sacred
No vow
More profound
Than in darknesses
Naked
Admitting
Confessing
Professing
Our faults
Our disgraces
Our destiny
Meant to be
What this exalts

Don’t want to be reading
The dreadlines again
Or seeing
The pleading,
Bereaving
Condemned
To eternal,
Infernal,
Infirmities
Sick
Of the different day,
Different plague,
Be afraid
Shtick
So we pick and choose
Truth
More appealing
And safe
And we make it replace
What no scapegoat escapes
From the burden of knowing
“So much on your plate”
To the taste
Is addicting,
Afflicting the state
Of the outdated status
Updating-site
Fake
News in its earth-******,
System
Victim-blaming,
Disastrous forsaking
Of tensions enflaming
Then breaks with reality
Leaving you waking
Up to
Shaken up,
So it’s back to the stirring
Of hurrying cups
Of productive
Consumption
Of never enough
Pics of food
On the feed
In its virulent greed
As it propagates,
Promulgates
Seeds of deceit  
And like vermin
It breeds
A posterity ceding
More user agrees
For the free-raider
Data invader’s 5G’s
So to spy with our eyes
What they hide
As we stream
Along indolently
In naive
Fever dreams
Interweaving
All that we perceive
To confines of a screen
Never blind to the scene
Yet immune to the screams
As we still hope and pray
To evade
The disease

To even begin
With the end
Is an errand
In errantly
Erring
To bend
The mind to
The nuncupative
Limits
Unwritten
Are words
Insufficient
Explicitly
Stated
To explicate
Nothing waits
For you to feel
Copacetic,
At peace
With decedent
Fates sealed
What is real
But a 4 letter
Thought
Counter-measure
Distraught
By the
Fraught with pain’s
Ought to be
Pleasure
Sought out
Like unreachable
Pre-destinations
And preached
As unspeakable
As revelations
Of all it comes down to
Comes back to believing
That here in this moment
Eternally fleeting
Confers any meaning
Upon
What is being?

They LIE to us day after day after day
From the Capital’s clouds
Then they make us fall pray
To their genocide shrouds
To be proud of a central bank's
Honorable thieves
Slave-owning idealists
And “free” market greed
Not of need, but of want
And secure is want more
Than the picket fence borders
On “love thy’s” next door
And that terrible war
Is on some distant shore
Not in pain-killing ravens
Of poor Baltimore
Or the credit, indebted
To dead-trended futures
Still paying to play
Their whole life in these shooters
I get that fix free
From exploding my mind
To see who fires back
With a more heinous crime
Now malign up the tumor
Insured isn’t cured
Just the ruling class privilege’s
Double-edged sword
They bring down as their judgments
On what’s in our pocket
Like **** culture’s trial
Is kept off the docket
And fear is for-profit
Intoxicant fumes
Where the sweet dreams are mass-produced
Factory tombs
Where to you the doom looms
A non-violent offender
Without any papers
But ghosts in machines
Build the crumbling skyscrapers
To spy with their private eyes
Prison suspicion
Of alien Patriot Acts of Sedition
Where they set their sites to pick off a peace-keeper
So I wake up crowds like a Soviet sleeper
But think it in ink and spill only these words
‘Cuz your memes and your gifs are just bleated out herds
Expressionless, press it to pages and speech
Then that real people power's the union we teach

Defeated in depression
In your lonely little life
Trapped within a world of others
Since the one you knew is rife
With inequality, injustice
Inconvenient truth denies
And weaponized disinformation states
Of lies and data spies
Now analyze the Analytica
Chlamydia contagion
Viral marketing campaigning
Stagnant wage a war
Sensation
Burning Californication
To diffuse the situation
At the border firewall
Just spark another conflagration
Global changes uninstalled
But still enthralled are the spectators
Haters waiting on a savior
To deliver Hunger Games
And ever in their favor wager
That a litany of killing spree
Appeases free for all to see
And that the guilty party be
News feeding, eating your I.D.
Until the next, same old reboot
Loots pockets like colluding suits
And muted destitutes
Excuse the Pruitt's crude pollutants
When it's Houston under water
Flint still sippin' on the squalor
Slaughter stains our hands in Yemen
Where the kids are cannon-fodder
But your daughters and your sons
Are safe
Your belly's full
You're not displaced
So waste each waking second
On your daily fake intake
You're only making the stakeholders'
Promise
Easier to break

How to make it go away
To wish you’d stay
Out of my head
Last vestige of my solace
Dread
Pervades
Devoid of you
Desert me in
This solitude
Surreal it isn’t still a dream
How much together
Could have seen
And thinking you prefer it more
With someone else
Corrodes my core
Yet peace consoles
Me in the dark
My heart is broken
Not apart
Too long from feeling
What we had
Except that now
It feels like sad

Just wanted to orbit you
Like you do
Moving through
Infinite space ways
Between where I drift
Non-exist
As I sift
Through a stream of diversions
A flood of submersions
My blood
On your drug
As I shrug off
Incursions
And versions of me
Cease to be
Unfamiliar
When one
Gravitates
To his need
To fulfill her

And still in the shadows
Your shallows
Astound
Knew this wasn’t a movie
Keep moving
Unbound
But see through me
Exclude me
From fond recollections
From funds I’ve collected
The sum of my most
Disrespectful
Transgressions
Contrition incarnate
Discards me like waste
To a thoughtful exile
In dissonant space
Having learned
And unlearned
And relearned again
Better
It’s better
Having loved
Than been drugged
By forever
Been judged by the netherworld
Deemed to be temporal,
Rejected,
Resent
To lament my mistakes
And wake up to her
Once again
Beautiful face

Try to capture these emotions
Pull you closer
Hold your ghost in
When I’m wandering
Alone in
All the words I left unspoken
When this cloak
Of holy wokeness
Loses confidence
Assured
Tomorrow you will still
Have reason
To return me to your door
Where wanting more
For us
Immutable
Still silently subsides
And acquiesces to whatever
We’re together she decides

Skin beneath my fingers peeling
Rats stampeding in the ceiling
Storm outside is fiercely brewing
Food for thought my brain is chewing
Never has its fill, but will
Continue to ingest the pill
Should it provide the answer
Or a ceasing the increasingly
Detest the next romancer
To be smitten by a pittance
Of my paucity
A pauper playing prince
And salting old wounds of viscosity
Virulent vitriolic
Villain vision
Brashly crash and burning into
My audacity decision
To abandon everything
The world demands that I must be
And write my destiny anew
By being what I'd rather be

Still nonetheless
Hurts
Your reversal
Of fortune
What’s up wit me?
Now you see
In full distortion
Was not what you wanted
Expressed
Or repressed
Miss me
Just keep me guessing
Hurts still
Nonetheless

But what does it matter
Just climbing the ladder
And taking the chutes
Down in cyclical
Rhythm
Reliving reboots
Just as lacking in luster
As any film screen
Just attempting to find
The right priced
Magic bean
But get swindled and conned
By my own
Inner monologue
Clogging up space
With my brain in a vat
And my memory erased
Just in case
She appears in its
Crash and burn wake
And then any fresh start
Is another heartbreak

Still making me crazy
Like Russia’s
Deep spacey
Deep state’s
Deepest shade
Of the moment
It owned
Its disown
The charade
And it blade
Adieu
To
The rich few
Who the feud
Really fueled
As they ruled us like ghouls
Of some false idol’s tools

Friends come to conflict
More often than norm
Agitated with ease
Merely from
Being bored
Self-absorbed
In the day goes by
Nothing change brain
Draining out
As it preoccupies
Its inane
Inclination
To waste its own time
But what better use of it
Than live off the dime
Of the government’s
Money
Least partially mine
A leech parsing through slime
I’m just making my way in the world
Going buy

Life is a flash
Before self-deceit eyes
Promises that we keep
To ourselves, are all lies
We know constantly changing
Is how we evolve
Yet resist it whenever
There's problems to solve
Making more in the process
Of progress to test
Human limits and nature
Beyond what is best
But sometimes I feel like
Only I realize
Through my own pair of so-often
Self-deceit eyes
That attempts to glimpse truth
Behind layers of fallacy
Seldom if ever
Elucidates how to be
No longer searching
For answers to who
Am I? What am I?
What should I do?

I started with feelings
Then worked my way down
Severing ties with each chord of my heart
And in limited contact with pleasure and pain
I learned how to reform it
And tear it apart
Till the one who first broke it
Sees only my name
And remembers how eagerly
I sat awaiting
Her presence of penance
Allure captivating
My instinctive intrigue
Enveloping entropy
Nevermore sure it was her I’d endure
The way she would dig in my skin with her purr
And her wine glassy shards
Of retractable claws
That bent all of my will
And revealed all my flaws
From another past lover
Who left me my heart
Still intact, beating fast
But as hard to predict
As a weather forecast

Making maps of childhood
Exploring great unknowns
Escaping to uncharted woods  
To fix my broken homes
From the sharpened sticks and stone
And the daggers often thrown
Though blunt and made of silverware
They cut through bone and love we shared
So always I alone

Was left to save the fantasies
In words I wrote and read
And picture perfect families
Envisioned in my head
For the dreams that made my bed
Free from monsters that I fled
By casting fears like spells abound
When under covers I then found
My nightmare light to shed

On each house-divided page
And unhappy never endings
In this tale of coming rage
Torn out from my notebook rendings  
To a tune of doom impendings
As the heroes of my youth defendings
Vanquished all my villains slain
With a sword of growing pain
Pulled out from my play-pretendings

*Ever I, the dragon's bane

My last bastion dead to me
Friends seldom mention me
In the ways we
Formerly
Used to do
But the cosmos submits
To what I deem is true
Just like you
And that helps me get through
The uncouth rendezvous

She was the ripe,
   sweet succulent
Juices of berries
   seeping through
Cracks in teeth,
   creases in lips
Drips racing towards
   the chin precipices
To fall from the trips
   of her suicide kisses

And I will never ******* matter
To a soul upon this dying world
Seems like it’s always ending
And into the setting sun I’m hurled
From once again
At pinnacles
Of hubris
I am circling
To unearthing
Tragic flaws
A cause
For which
The struggles worth it
Though a better off position
From what happens
For a reason
Must reveal itself in time
Or I’m
Deprived of my completion

Been days since I last
Read it out loud
And past
By the time
I had put on
And took off the mask
I was lying in sand
To appear at my best
To relax, be at ease
In the peace
I attest
To have witnessed,
Experienced,
Felt moving through
But I lost it,
Misplaced it,
Forgot its face too
I erased her,
Defaced her
Still frame in my mind
Then I tried to replace it
With some other kind
Though it proved to be
Soon
Unappealingly basic
And couldn’t quite infiltrate
My secret bases
Just brace for in fact
This is not gunna’ last
Until I read it out again
To you at last

I’ll be there beyond it
With you there in spirit
And fear it no longer
As fate comes to sheer it
This clearly not meant to be
Quite so erratic
Sincerely the end is drawn
Nearer to tragic
Down falling
In some kind of rabbit hole
Can’t let her go
But it’s not even like
She is mine to control
Mind control
Is more her
Supernatural gift
And by it
My banana brain
Seamlessly split

Your world
Wasn’t ready
For me
Without equal
My presence
Alone
Was a penance
The people
Conflated with faith
In a wraith
Of some holy
Unfinished
Crusade
But a plague’s
All I bade them
And made
Of their fate
For awaiting them still
Remains
Nothing but grave
Revelations that chill
Even my bones to stave
Off the stone fusillades
Cast my way,
Casting shade
On the shame-basking
Maim parades
From which I hang
My head low in dismay
Pray tell,
How mistaken
To think I could save
Even more so forsaken
Slaves,
Clutching my chains

A reason to make my life
More than a failure
A letter per day
I just don’t have to mail her
Provides for enough time
To gather my thoughts
She’s the light in the dark
When I’m lonely and lost
And like frost
In the presence of heat
She flows through me
Infuses with my
Inner muse
And subdues me
Renews expiration
Of my daily dose
When I’m close to succumbing
To what I dread most
It’s this notion
She’s far more awoken,
Accomplished,
And down by the ocean
I’m drowning in conflict
Could she be
The years that remain
Or in vain
Will my wholehearted efforts
Eventually wane

A skeleton just hangin’
From a noose of listless mystery
Still shackled to the gallows of my past
The rest is history
Another pack of lies
And greedy broken treaty victory
Embellishing retellings
Of a tale as old as rhyme
And in the minds of future scribes
Time will absolve me of the crime
For these confines of flesh impermanence
Internalized eternal words
And from exile I returned
To claim dominion over herds
To watch as birds as angels reigned
And people’s god uplifted
A new vision in my image
Through the power I was gifted
All to unify the many
Selfless service higher cause
That would reeducate the state
In human nature’s common laws

Bioluminescent brain
Blending in the acid rain
The unforgiving nature
Of existence
Sinks its teeth
Into my slow decaying carapace
And whispers nothings sweet

Give up and quit
You want to stop writing
Put down the pen and just call it a Nightingale Lightning bolt failure
To spark any bulbs in the attics and
Basement’s creative misplacement
Still can’t seem to find my mind’s
Goodest vibrations

She seems to be drawn
To the tricks of my trade
To the art of my craft
To the cast of my shade

Like a moth to the flame
Of my flickering hope
Like a fiend to the drug
Of my slippery *****

Perhaps it evokes
Some chemistry questions
Addicting the senses
To crave my expressions

Reflecting the vision
She couldn't imagine
Would be chasing tales
Of my lurid sol dragon

Abandon the wagon
And blaze your own trail
With no holocaust
To my unholy grail

Come sail the exhale
Of my genesis breath
Come surf across brain waves
Of my ego death

But prepare to be swept
In my undertow's wake
When I rise and I fall
Like the tides of daybreak

Forsaken we'd make it
A night with each other
But no stars could fake it
My true sunlight lover

Beach party
Me
Is the center of gravity
All the unfolding
Revolving
Depravity
Slightly on edge
As I’m calm
In your presence
The ledge
To your bottle
Of anti-depressants
So kick off your shoes
Take the plunge
And unwind
Let the waves
Set the pace
Of the wake
Peace of mind

Now run the polemics
The rigged
Oil derricks
The towers you build
On the backs of the peasants
The offices brimming with
Cushy class clerics
The barracks
The ballots
The bastions
The bills
And the overprescribed
Overkilling us
Pills
Overfilling our plates
With dysmorphic
Ideals
Underserving
Community meals
You conceal
Generations of trauma
Decades of decay
For a gilded age
Golden gate
Ethno-state’s
Grave

Take a look at the sky,
It’s actually blue
Then look at me looking
Right back at you
Through
Peering into your eyes
One last time
I surmise
How to synthesize
All the emotions inside
Synchronizing them in
An intuitive tune
Like a peace and disquiet
I’m leaving too soon

I’m grateful
Is all I can say
On a day
Where dependence
Sustains me
And expertise may
Be the primary reason
I still get to write
Get to live to see futures,
Sleep soundly at night
Because I cannot cut
The afflictions from skin
Can’t return me home safely
From waiting rooms
Been
On the operate table
The last couple hours
As people who care
If I make it
Empower
My waking mind’s eye
To in vertigo
Know
That although
Limited
Not my time yet
To go

Contraptions enrapture
The thoughts in my head
Like the Black Widow Feds
Spin the global-wide web
Making beds
To be lied in
Belying the eyeless appliance’s
All-seeing
Spy-lids
With die kids
And ISIS’
World hunger virus
Deciding divisive devices disguised
As the iris’
Optimal optical scans
Are just scams
And we buy it
Like contraband-widths
We demand
They supply it
Reliant on intel cartel
Data pirates
Bespectacled specters
Of property private
Sectors stealing secrets
And quieting riots
To keep us compliant,
Complacent
And safe and secure
Our freedom-
Information
In their bidding war
With the state’s machinations
Harmonic convergence
To merge us as one
Motherboarderless
Servant
A mirthless,
Subservient
Permanent
Nervousness
Bliss on the verge
Of transcendence
To micro-chips
Cold, calculating,
Brain-drain
Pain-impervious
Hard-wired smiles
Like customer services
As all the while
They got us on file
If someone malfunctions
It’s to the junk pile
Of planned obsolete
Made in China deceit
Soon enough
The new stuff
Is complete
And released
To the public
Consumption
Effete, then deleted
The outdated being’s
Illogical reasoning
No longer needed
Not fiscally viable
When product placements
Make preferences pliable
No more investing in
Such unreliable
Feeling-based flesh-
Eating parasites,
Troglodytes
Nature’s blight,
Human rights
Merely an oversight
To the Lord Profits
Most prescient prophetic
Detective’s objective
A future perspective
On forced-course corrective
Behaviors unfavored
In apes
Less aggressive
And traits more impressive
To more uninventive
And more inattentive
Assembly line minds
From their vines
Disconnected
Preemptively programmed
To heed the directive
Effectively rendering
Life contraceptive
Selectively-breeding
Exceeding perfected
Like fascists on acids’
Exclusive collective
The watchers still watching us
Acting defective
Then tactfully cashing in
On more expensive
Preventative measures
To end such a pensive,
Depressive death-sentence
Condemned to a prison
Super vision’s
Sentience

I once bloomed
In a room
Of my doom
Contemplating
Exhumed
From Necropolis
Insinuating
An afterlife
Merely goodnight
Perpetuity
Solely a blip
In the rift
Continuity
Needless to fear
Its finality fangs
Ever fruitless to reach for
The biggest of bangs

I no longer care
What I think of myself
Insecure in my
Glass house
Of cards I’ve been dealt
But can make of them
Victory
Seamlessly
Scheme with me
Banish dissent
To invent
More machinery
War economics
Is my peace of mind
By design
Histrionics
Employed in my rhyme
Non-aligned to the pact,
The accord,
Nor the treaty
Just break it like bread
Promises
To the needy,
A greedy,
Lascivious
Megalomanic
Discordant purveyor,
Soothsayer
Of panic
Promoter of voter
Fraud
Laud the fine people
On both sides of I’ll
Convince them we’re equal
But we know the truth
There can only be one
Absolute
Who so ruthlessly
Rivals the sun
And when done
With remembrance
Remains in the pages,
Parades and crusades
And the subsequent stages
Prophetic
Magnetic
Charisma
Engages
The masses again
And the muses by pen
Yet the mask
Shall be cast
From my face in the end

And now my day is done
I write the dumb
Sad song unsung
And hung the rest of my potential
From the gallows
In my lungs

If words could bring these people peace
Or freedom from Assad
I'd write a dissertation
Of my hatred for a God
Who turns his back
On bombs and blood
That paint these streets
In tears that flood
My veins with all the sorrow
Of these angels as they weep
For the fallen and the taken
For the homes obliterated
Into rubble of forsaken
Orphaned children mutilated
They awaken to the nightmare
Of their dreams asphyxiated
Choking on the dust of youth
Like infants you have fated
To starvation, dehydration
Desolation of creation
With no cause or explanation
Show your Holy Ghost and state it
******* coward, indicate it
Tell these people why you've waited
Tolerated these atrocities
That you have detonated
On the prayers as reciprocities
For faith still unabated
In their father of salvation
Power-drunk on condemnation
An abusive and neglectful beast
A sodomite of ****** daughters
Ravager of Mother Earth
You lead your sheep to slaughters

These are the words
Of one who has broken
With hope
Long ago
I can socialize
Well enough
Leave me alone
But enjoy it sometimes
What the others might say
Every now and then one
Or two
Welcome to stay
If they manage to deftly
Display their intriguing
Intelligence,
Intellect
Make me believing
Keep speaking
You have my permission,
I’ll listen
But bore me,
I’ll make myself scarce
Of opinion
You won’t get a peep out of me
After that
I don’t mean to be rude
Just exclude the chitchat

See you more frequently
Speaking in person
In total immersion
Within our best
Version
Is all I desire
But patiently wait
To biweekly
Engage you
And impulses sate
It’s so crazy
My lust for you
Can’t be expressed,
Or repressed,
Just addressed
Keep my hands to myself
Is impossible
Not optional
In the slightest
Unless it’s too much
Or my touch
Was of Midas

Enchanted shore descendant
Branch upon the kapok tree
In forests of El Yunque
The coqui songs compelling me
To write of the Taino sol
Still burning to be free
From The Lion's sword that bled
The pages of our history

Stolen land attendant
Encomienda living property
From roots of our ancestral bones
Was grown the crown's economy
Then baptized in the crosses' greed
They cleansed us of our savagery
A genocide of cultures made
Them rich with inhumanity

Kept at bay our independent
Luminescent solidarity  
Then poured in streams of Lares cries
To fields of pure cane tyranny
Yet caverns of Camuy echoed
The fleeting winds of liberty
To tempest warships harboring
A hurricane democracy

By '98 dependent
In '17  a new decree
Final draft trenches fulfilled
The ballot box with empty
Then sharpened territory clause
Reconstituted colony
Campos prison cancer cell
Vieques poisoned casualty

Infecting the resplendent
Contagious hope of sovereignty
Pandemics of oppressions past
Injecting present poverty
Virulent exploitation plagues
Still draining veins systemically
Indebted to the parasites'
Uncommon wealthy travesty

Got drunk and I wandered home
Aimlessly aiming
To full speed ahead
Into oncoming training
Myself to be better
Than more walk of shaming
Then blaming my lack of refraining
On some
Inability to
Feel again
More than numb

Then parts of you fade
That once wholly you made
The most vital component
Of how much you made
Not financially
More existential
Affirming
That all intellectual
Causes
I’m earning
The chance to excel
Don’t expel me disgraced
For a harmless,
Albeit now costly
Mistake
But you make of it
Consequence
Where none is needed
And take from me more
Than I ever believed in

Forgot a few songs
Then remembered them later
Attempting to live
To the fullest
And savor
The moment it hits me
And pits me against
What instinctively tells me
It ends in laments
More unbearable
Nay,
More unfathomable
Than the last time
Her tastes
Were unpalatable

It's not that I'm proud
Of mischief
Or misdeed
I don't flaunt
Impropriety
Blithely
At ease
And I often consider
The ramifications
On who is affected
By what I have taken
But still I revert
Consciously,
No remorse
To deliberate persistence
To veering off course
From a straight,
Perhaps narrow
And risk-averse path
But still one of integrity
Balanced, on-track
And progressing ahead
At sustainable paces
But reckless behavior
Is off to the races
The truth is
I like it
The thrill of the steal
The adrenaline, nerve-pumping
Rush
I can feel
And enjoy
I'm remiss to admit
Is the most fun I've had
In this boring cesspit

Don’t want to feel alive
So go switch off
Concede the time
Is not of yours
For any taking,
Any making
Of design
Refuse to speak
Don’t deviate
From fate
Is sealed
In shades of bleak
Rejuvenated
From the enervating
Make a living week
If you go seeking
Conversation
You might find
Only deceit
But when you try,
Revitalized
By what you say
Begets replies

Not quite an impediment,
Seldom a detriment
Just a self-conscious
Propensity to
Pensively reconsider
Each word that I choose
Like anomic aphasia
But undiagnosed
When I can’t comprehend
Even thought’s innermost
Best syntactic formation
Dictates fluctuation
And makes me some ramble-on,
Scrambling to find
What I even intended to say
Half the time
And then oh!
There it is
Where I’m going with this
Yes a piece about speech
And the topics it shifts

Beckoned,
Allured
By her tempting enchantments
The goddess of love
So enraptures me
Granting
Her sirens
Commanded
To pleasure,
Untether me
Take me away
To a world
Of forever free
To be immersed
In this curse
Divine feminine
Elegant in
Its resplendent  
Serenity
Though so detached
I soon longed to return
To one in which man
Had hence from me
Once spurned