A belly of butterflies
Danced to the sound  
Of harmonica trees  
And the violin leaves
Synesthesia bound

To the whispering winds
Of the sweet nothing skies
Playing fungi Fall fiddles
To tempos of riddles  
Sensational melodies made in her eyes

Resonant love
In a breath of fresh air
These orchestra waves
In my deepest sea caves
Drifted away to the shores of nowhere

Then bottled-up notes
In time-signature sands
Wrote ballads of blisses
From strawberry kisses
Plucked from the tunes of our heartstring commands

And each nymph and faun
Composed of the Earth
Out of many songs one
And our voice was the sun  
Crescendoing to a symphonic rebirth

I showed you my friends
So you knew it’s for real
Then I conquered the world
So you’d know how I feel
All alone
Out among
The reminds me of you
In review
Then I granted you
Glimpses into
The becoming
Us loving
Each other
Discover
We are more than just
Sexuality’s
Mother

Time to get weird with it
What shall it be
Feeling mad science-fictional
Brain chemistry
An augmented demented
Unreality
All returning to nothing
Beyond what you see
A subliminal criminal
Mind-bending glee
In a blissful euphoria
Self killing spree
I have delved into heights
Of the darkest of lights
I have dwelled in the caverns
Of luminous nights
Felt the crushing despondent
Cold grip of despair
Immolate me in radiant
Dreamy nightmare
With the energy surging
Renewal of breath
In each step
I have tread upon Death
And in absolute loneliness
Beckoned the fates
To come alter my ego’s
Worst character traits
And assumed a new role
More befitting your eyes
As this tomb made of words
My Immortal goodbyes

She was sad, numb, cold, and just not into my
Not my vibe reality
The first other woman I told her I love
But her warmth, I’d console her
In my image mold her
Hatch ohhh, my evilest plans to control her
But never let go though
Keep letting her grow slow
Until she cared to join me in a stroll
Through the time flow

Success and experience
Trial and error
Power is vested
From birth
I was better
Invested my MIND
In my goal
Empty-netter
But weather
Or knot…
We all go out
Together
Is just my prerogative
Your interrogative,
Am I still willing
To let you all live
Human piles of
Self-serving ****
I could give
If it’s just
At the top,
Where the Party
Don’t stop
That I drop
The whole scene
On the next
Photoshop

As dark as I am
I am still
But a man
Understand
There’s a line
I must draw
In the sand
Of abandonment
Cast
To the castles
Ashore
To the pages
Adorned
In my love Nevermore

And just when it seems
I’ve all topics
Exhausted
In detail,
At length
Have I talked of them
Lost in
My thoughts
Far more often
Than not
With the shocked
Interlocutor
Therapist blocked
Mentally
From me,
Minding the clock
As it sought
To conceal
What my gravest
Of weaknesses
Makes me reveal
What my deepest of secrets
Can’t keep
With a fealty
To what really feels
Is my truest
Admission
Of not quite contrition
But cuts nonetheless
Like the surgeon’s
Incision
To enter cerebral
Deficiencies
Fixed
By inoperable voices
Of whispered abyss
That a flick
Of the ficklest wrist
Swiftly snips
What I keep to myself
Like lobotomized bliss

What hath wickedness wrought
Scared to have a real thought
For submissively
Venerate
Sorrow
Do I
And permissively
Wait
On tomorrow
To die
In the mind
Resides peace
But unrest never sleeps
And if food for thought feeds the brain
Mine overeats,
It devours
Digests
And expels
The excess
In some monstrously
*******
Ego-death  
Mess
And repressing
Ensuing
Onslaughts of forlorn
Is my fear
That from one
Into many
I’m torn

Just write
The beginning
Envisioning
Sagas
Conceptualize war
Like you’re in
The Bahamas
Obamas
Have come and gone
Kennedies
End
And the Clintons’
Convictions
Don’t go to my head
Any more
Than the opposite side’s
Can attest
I just run the gamut
Of their standardized test

All awry

                                                              I must admit
 
            To having never

                                            Cared to try

      And make them fit

                                                 Or come together

                               Save for her and I

Could she ever be perfect enough to appease me
For all that I see turns to stone and unknown
And I never quite know which direction is home
Without love, without care, without someone to share
My envision exquisite delectable peace
That does not simply speak to seek my higher truth
But to offer a bite of her own passion fruit

An optimistic cynic
Guess my problem is I care too much
Or just enough to stay in touch
With disconnected wanderlust
Once had a crush on sedentary
Fantasies of fairy dust
But settled for incendiary
Flings to watch the world combust
For glasses full of half measures’
Fragmented shards of broken trust
Would merely feed my wildfire
Cerebellum such and such

Math is just
Infinitude
Of numbers
And equations
No one wants
And no one needs
Until the alien invasions
Leave its stringy theories
Tangled
In another quantum zone
As they incessantly perplex
And vex
My x equals unknown
And though I add,
Subtract,
And multiply,
Divide
I just can not abide
By geometric principles
Misshaping my
Befuddled mind
Despite the fact  
They tie together
Everything
We make believe
Is probable
To e mc
And make us see
All calculations
Possible

How to know
If it’s good
If it resonates,
Satisfies
All the prerequisites
Poets prioritize
Or if it yet again
Fails to immortalize
My harmonizing
In balancing
Lows and highs
As glorified
Passing lives
To the other side  
Not necessarily
Essence extinguished  
But a small piece
I’m at peace
To relinquish

The other reality
Me,
You can’t see
Yet interconnects
And affects
The trajectory
Just like the cat
In the box
Unfurls
Alternate worlds
Without even knowing
Itself
An accessory
To the sound science
Of silence unheard
Of eternities echoing
Just take my word
For its worth
In researching
Infinities granted
Immersion in certain
Within the vicinity
Of possibility
But beyond specious
Unfathomability
Where is the proof?
To convince me
The truth
Can be held
Relativity’s
String theory noose

Have to make it somewhere
Soon
I’m going crazy
In my room
Could do it all the same
Each day
But rather run
So far away
Before what out there
Goes unseen
And I am stuck here
In between
Decaying, old and gray
And youth
Still clutching onto
Half the truth

Got what I wanted,
Accomplished,
Attained
All it cost?
The most powerful
Piece in the game

As gold as my soul as it slithers and shivers
And withers
To smithereens
First she was fire and ice at the same time
Second was burning wealth land with the moonshine
Deep as the sky when I’m high in the sky
Now I fear of no depths of the bottle, I ask why?
Try as I might to undo what I do
To imagine the tombs they await I and you
They equate I and you
They degrade I and you
And they make us see through what is not I and you
One more reason to fight
For a lefty theft right
To threat Tet upon agent’s of oranges blight
Splittin’ 3/5th’s a white
With arms-dealin’ pro life
Like it’s Jefferson smokin’ his whipper wind pipe
Diggin’ Ghraibs for his slaves in the back of a black site
Business is boomin’ like Truman in ruins
We trade magic mushrooms with animist humans
That’s just how we do it
In 50 state fascist Ford family reunions
Of clinically cynical gimmick illusions
Malthusian predictions
On stocked market shelves
Just as coated in sugar
As Keibler elves’ spells
British rebels who colonize
Liberty bells
Pledging sacrosanct vanity
Brinksmanship sanity
Phosphorous fire and fury brutality
Tyrant king lizards of ye olde feudality

Bustling bowl of barrios
Favelas far as eyes can see
From valley lows to ridges' rise
Graffiti calles cobblestone
And canvasses of keeps of shop
To juxtapose the Foch and fortune
Shadows of the mountain clouds
Which peak into the heavens
As an angel weeps above the heart
For stray dog sweaters en el parque
Niños on the pocket's watch
A beggar's hands still offered prayers
Quichua silent voices counted
In basilicas of gold
All built atop the blood and bones
Of cultures bought and sold

Have to get better
At weighing my options
For she is just heartache
Corroding in toxins
And though rather sweet
I’m replete with embittered
Resentment relationships’
Withering liver
And whether or not
I convince her to care
This despair should not characterize
Love affair
We were barely there
Sharing
A moment in sync
Before urges consumed us
In I need a drink

And there through the balcony window
Appeared
Such a beast
As the devil himself
Could revere
And it said unto me
A most cryptic refrain
In increasing vexation
I scared it away
But the next
Lonely night
It returned
To its menace
All perched
In the lurch
Echoing
Of my penance
And as I paced
Pensively
Gleaned its
Propensity
To follow me
With its eyes’
Dark immensity
Piercing
Most fiercely
My hollowed out core
Its now resident
Resonant
Cry
Nevermore

Let's get this revolution
All my new world orderlies
Because we are the solution
To the bigger stick diplomacies
The shadow of plutocracies
Casted by the sons
Of the Titan kings inciting
The immortal chosen ones
To Prometheus igniting
From the mythic rebel guns
Of Zapata to Guevara
Bolivar in Venezuela
They provided the umbrella
To the reign of encomienda
Reconquista gunna meet ya'
In the jungle with the rumble
Of a Sandanista struggle
From the hovels of Aleppo
Diggin' rubble with a shovel
Wagin' Warsaw in the ghettoes
On the concentration Campos
Lazarettos, and the diamonds
That you smuggle to the kingdoms
Of the Leos in the Congo
But Lumumba, they remove ya'
Like guerillas in the mist if ya'
Resist em' in the system
Arab springin' into action
'Cuz the shah is a mirage
And the Contra-banded faction
Is another name for Raj
To convert the sacred hajj
Into cheaper camouflage
With didactic hypocratic
Neo-liberal art collage
To reeducate the masses
With a capital dogmatic
Lower-casing democratic
Are the over-ruling classes
Where the socialist fanatic
Anarchistic automatic
Never passes, spewin' gases
Of an open-****** fascist
But the tilting of this axis
Is the cashing-in assassin
Malcolm X'n MLK and then
Allende, Joao, and Mossadegh
The CIA, pieces in play
Objective's always Pinochet
When fair elections
Have their way
The pawns go first
The cheaters say
Game over Mr. JFK
And they don't shed
A tear for Ted
Without a bullet
To the head
Of another red dead scare
To hide the truth behind the D.A.R.E.
Grin and bare the propagand
Now it's Comey's Hoover Dam
And Putin's Agent Orange  
Is the latest Khmer stooge
On the trail of ** Chi Minh
Painting refugees in rouge
Making killing fields of stock exchange
His presidential recompense
No cents expense for Climate Change
To silence sense and dissidents
Within the firing range
Of this ****** hate crusade
Scorching Mother Earth campaign
So we gotta disengage the main
Brain drainin' inhumane
Tyrants always back again
To seal the gates and lock the cage
Vote us off the winners' stage
By droppin' bombs of martyrdoms
Crazy Horse was not insane
Brown said **** this ball and chain
With Henry Wallace all the wage
Ragin' fifty shades of Shay's
To free the press and then reclaim
Our history's white-washed front page

Unless legions of people
Unequaled
In stature
Go marching
Like ants
In the colony
Fractured
The psyche
Then voices won’t matter
Who hurt you
Like Nike
Incisively
Signals its virtue
Upon the first trend
The Black Fridays we spend
As consumers
United
In rights to defend
Our most sheepish impulses
And wolf appetites
To the death
Of our liberties
In the black sites  
Where the word
Of slain leaders
Still herds its immunity
Deep in the cells
Of what sells
Black community

Anchored
Drag me
Solace as ever
Serenity weeping
Cantankerous
Sadly
My life away sleeping

It should just be a piece
Not the puzzle
Complete
Of compatible’s
Precious stone,
Pressurized
Heat
But the beats
She uncovers
Keep pace with my stammer
And her ethos pounds
In my chest
Like a hammer
And sickle
In hand
She is reaping my keeping
No secrets,
Just weakness,
She sees it
She eats it
And sleeps like a baby
Goes dormant for days
Then volcanic erupts
In obsidian ways
And like diamonds from coal
My soul molded to lust
For her eyes
Oxidize
My last breathlessly
Rust

If it comes to
The crumbs
Boring holes into boxes
And slipping away
Undetected
Then toxins
Are all it will take
To be rid of me
Finally
Just like the vermin
Exterminate
Quietly

Still writing
The sorrow incarnate
Foremost
I’ve been dead to the world
For so long
I’m a ghost
And forlorn
Only shores
Of serenity
Mourn  
Though reborn
In the storm
Of asunder
Am torn
Into equal parts
Heartened
And darkened
By day
So alive
But inside
I’m comprised of decay
Not astray
Anymore
Not afraid
To endure
But the horror
Of losing her
My Nevermore

Why do I venture
Stray so far away
To find what will never be found
Anyway
Is it some exaltation
Of my inner peace
That I seek to have ascertained
Sitting alone at the peak
To escape what is breaching
The bounds of contention
Potential I have so much more
Left to mention
All knowledge eludes me
Despondent subdues me
And through me becomes
Empty vessels of gloomy
Reductive and counter-productive
Constructions
Debased as they slip through
My tenuous clutches
No more can I grasp
The original vision
Is blurred and distorted
By pointless derision
Omissions of what I initially
Dreamt
To make sense of realities
Often exempt
Have I been
From the coffins they form around
My crawling skin
But within this impoverished
Subconscious decay
Do I see now
Why they bow
To their knees
And pray

In this bog of lost souls
Isolationist goals
Become all that we value
Lies all that we’re told
Got your mind bought and sold
Since the standardized oil
Was shifted from gold
The monopolists rolling the dice
With your life
And you still think you’re free?
Kid, you better think twice

Shards of a shimmering
Sanity
Slither
The rain,
Forest flame,
Mortal-stained
Rivers wither
And little known
Little me’s
Watery grave
Seems a long way away
In some newfound malaise
Where the waves
Undulate
Even out
Across land
And alone in its
Thralldom
I stand but a man

World is imploding
I’m stuck in it droning
Unknown to it still
In this quest
Of disowning  
So long ago
Left
Dispossessed
Was my message
Until homelessness
Was my lonely
Last vestige
Of clinging to
Abnormally
Non-conformity  
Lost in the scale, scope and skies
Of enormity
Mourning my
Torn in two
Unification
The love that once lived
To rue days of forsaken
Awakening
Sum of my fear
Contemplation
And dwelling no further
In its ruination

Thought I was meant for more
Than just a being
A parasite
Day by night
Writing,
Retreating
Some look away
Girl affront  
Truly receding
From thinking I’m only
Just slightly
Incapable
Of doing anything I
Could have dreamt above
But I was still tearing up
Just before
Thinking of
How the time wastes
And I haven’t seen
You in love
I was just waiting for you
In replacement
But having found none of her
Left to erase me
In even friends
We were men
Having to end
Laughing, tracking back,
To the past
Still eating discipline
I was discovering
Sickness in history
And resurrecting
My savagest mystery
In its abysses
The lefty swipe
Righty shift
Back to inquisitive
Balance in emptiness
Mark my words stated
The Sisters of Fate  
Bow before me
Created
And haven’t yet sated
My passion for words
Just wish someone else heard them
In lessons I’ve learned

This isn’t a gift
Nor a curse
Just a part
Of complete me
Eventually
Making his mark
On a world whose indifference
Too long to his words
Kept him down,
Not a sound
From his speech
Came without
An implacable
Actual
Need to be written
Ambitions
Envision
Imperial Britain
Some urge to preserve
Share what makes me
Exceptional
Soar in my hubris’
Downfall confessional

Go back to
The only known place
You were raised in
From living so long
Out beyond
Deprivation
Of homeliness sentiment
Homelessness tenement
Sleep in the sediment
Weather is inclement
Never the sun
In the sky
When you need it,
Just
Overcasted out
Reasons to leave it

Much has been lost
Has been wasted
In vain
Have I granted
More former
Engagements
A claim
Have I harbored
More harbingers
Of my demise
Was I born
Have I worn
This whole time
A disguise
Was I really there
With her
Do I awake
Days
Have unnervingly
Quickened
Their pace  
I’m afraid
That it goes
All for not
But our scars
And tattoos
As our bones
Feed the earth
And the life it renews

Finally acquiesced
And made a dating app
Profile
Been a while
Since I had
A touch of really made me smile
Didn’t know the best descriptions
For myself
Relied on pics
To watch the likes roll in
And revel in
The hottest,
Choicest picks
As if objectifying beauty
Wasn’t so played out already
As if every user’s only chasing
Ego-boosted heady
Looping feedback
On the feed,
On the look at me
And breed
With 1 percent of my persona
Other 99
Unseen

The room would shrink
And vanish
I’d be left alone
To panic
Into darkness
Closing in
Around me
Soon would I be banished
Feeling famished
For companionship
Bereft of love
A cancerous
Despondency
Would start to grow
Your warnings
Echo
Told you so
And knowing we
Had come so far
Learned to accept
The way we are
Discovered some
Profound compassion
Deep connection
Satisfaction
Just to see us
Overcome
By strife
Would render me
Undone

This ones about her
Never were
Quite together
The girl I could say nothing to
And upset her
No better for it
Left with nothing to show
And now haunted I drown
In her overshadow
But I take away nights
I could write her
Illumined
Exhumed
From her echoing chambers
Entombed in
The trauma,
The drama,
The anger
Consuming
Us both
Without hope
We were just passing through
She was seeking subordinates,
People to use
I romanticized
Her broken heart
As my muse
But still couldn’t add up
All the factors divided
To solve the equation
With secrets confided
Can only sustain
The facade for so long
For we both preferred love
Buried in a sad song

There must still be destiny
Judgment upon us
Not always the enemy
Waiting to bomb us
Not putting my head
To these jobs
Any longer
Deliver me unto
The end of the story
And stronger grown from it
The roots of my glory

If there were once slaves
Tell me how it’s still made
The same way
A news ANCHOR
Can make you afraid
And if I could not speak
Would I live just to eat
Should I not pay the homeless
Asleep in the street
For my vanity
Certainly
Sates itself thusly
My heart is still beating
Just leaky and rusty

Yet empathy still
Spilling out from my wounds
And I don’t just inhabit,
I thrive in these tombs
Can’t control what they think
So conditioned to help
But to care,
Really care
Demands more of oneself
To prepare
For the barely
Still breathing
Of others
Like watching the end
Of the world
Without lovers

We were the rivals
The antithesis
To offset
The in debt
The left’s clenched
Iron fist
To be squeezed ever tighter
On fruits of the market
Then,
As they starve,
Leave the people in darkness

Not about
Not seeing color
Azul
But we could
Start with teaching
The difference
In school
Not to make them afraid
But to make them
To think
Love each other
Learning how
We just do what we do
And I write to her too
‘Cause I knew
How she wanted
To truly see through
And this drew me
Ensnared
All my visions
Impaired
And my barren wastelands
Inundated
With scared
She could be
Happily
What I take to the grave
On a faraway day
When the lights
Go away
And for all of oblivion
With me she’d stay

And how do you plan
For the end of the world
Hold the ones
Dearest near you
Embrace the undying
No fear
Just adhere to
The deathless defying
For never were we
Even here
To begin with
And back to the same
Non-existence
Relinquish
Illusions so long
Our identities formed
In anarchical nothingness
Shall be reborn

After hundreds of these
Sordid entries
Into
Privacy,
Unreservedly
Sharing with you
You might think
I get tired
Exhausted all options
But even now clueless
I write it as often
As coffins compile,
Uplifting inspires,
Attraction beguiles,
Or nature makes fires
And only attempt
To divest it from her
When the last several
Still sit in silence
And were
Insufficient,
Haphazard,
Or not yet complete
There will always be more ways to say
Or repeat it

This could be it
I was already leaning
Out over the edge
Of devoid of all meaning
And hope before merely
A word that was spoken
What once I held dearly
Had long ago broken
A ghost in the most
Morose host
I was lost
Since I drew my first breath
Of fresh air
Has a cost
And tossed out
In a cruel, unforgiving world
Yearned
To return
Just to leave again,
More left to learn
But approaching it now
Tantalizingly close
It recedes like one does
In a drug overdose

Suggest you’ll be part of
My life
Then depart
Just as quick as you entered
And punctured my heart
Like a dart
From the start
Piercing ever so slightly
You got close enough
But avoided what might be
The height of the pinnacle
Pivotal moment
We notice that awkward’s
The vital component