If not alive, than what am I
What is this world if not sublime
It must be real
These places, faces
Human races
Where they go and what they do
I wonder to the point of pain
And spill it from this point of pen
For me and them and her still there
In each full page from her blank stare
Concluding in those eyes is where
I come to know the meaning is
Of meaningless without her kiss
But emptiness is my purpose
It's cancerous, without remiss
Black holes within this plotted course
Yet still my trails are blazed with force
Of suns and skies and mountain quakes
When God beneath my feet forsakes
My brothers, sisters, still they bow
All I can do is question how
And why and what and who, where, when
Does this journey ever end
Or just transcend beyond the tombs
The answers are they set in stone
An epitaph of flesh and bone
Alone I've tread questions engraved
Upon the masses' minds enslaved
Until they deal as I have dealt
Until they dwell as I have dwelt
In universes I have felt
The bloodshed of these battles fought
Eternities in instants sought
Out to share these lessons taught
To will to life my conscious thought

And one day soon
Hence
You will get your
Comeuppance
Your tongue-biting
Sycophants
Stay their reluctance
To mutiny
23 times
Run you through
As across senate floors
Your blood pours
Into view

Underneath
All the anger
A sadness
It’s tragic
And countless the times
I have rhymed it
With madness
But really
It’s simple
Some complex
Enigma
Is fractured
Enraptured
In mental health
Stigma

I sculpt all these gods
And I craft all these muses
Yet still the design
Of mere mortals
Confuses
Don't know what to do
If each one of them chooses
The course of their own destiny
But then loses
Their self
In a false
Divination
And sight of the light
In their darkest temptation
How can I unmake them
Without bend or break them
For I do not answer
Their prayers
I forsake them
And ask not that they
Construct temples and pillars
To hoist in my image
The banners of killers

Embarking on these quests in search of nothing left to own
The paths I find
The trails I blaze
May distance me from home
To shores I tread
And streets I step
To beats of strolling stone
Still muck I plod
And sludge I trudge
I promenade alone
For peaks I reach
And skies I breach
Shall be my roamin' throne

How quickly a year
Can elapse
Is astonishing
Make every moment
Worthwhile
Admonishing
Me
To be actively present
And pleasant
Each second
Or live to forget
The remembrance
In remnants of memories made
In sustaining
Begrudgingly forcing
Facades of equating
Superior intellect
Deigning to feigning
This greeting sincerely
A matter of act
To surpass the harassing
******* in class
In cacophonous braying
Displaying a crass
Disposition of *******
Herd-mindless en masse
Merely falling in line
Until their turn to die
Comes as natural to me
As the killing of time

I could run to the ends of the earth
But she'd find me
Still hiding myself from the days
That remind me
Of falling in more
Than a pit of despair
My descent into love
Was a cavernous lair
Where the light at the end of the tunnel
Was blinding
But still as my shadow was she there beside me
Enveloping severed tie contracts unwinding
Confining my wandering conscious to climbing
A vast range of mountains
To swim in the skies
So that I might behold her
With worthier eyes

And now I will boast
For my pride is engorged
On abandonment’s ghost
Of the friendships I’ve forged
Through the depths
Ever delving
In deeper
To molten
The curtain of iron
Fist rules
Of the sultan
Could bring the judgmental
Before us
Defined
Could appeal sentimental
Committing the crime
And never so much
As offend
When the pen
That I wield
Ever mightier,
Summons the end

Sitting in
On the these meetings
We have to stop kidding ourselves
There is meaning
Just rhyme without reason
So force me to plan
There’s no time of the season
Returning their land

Know just where to sit
Bring the fringes to me
And then centralize
All of it
Cable TV
And no thanks
I’ve got plenty
Of drugs to have fun
But still innovate
Later than
Never been done
I’ve been one with
Euphoria’s
Relative
Masses
Organically
Championed
It in my classes
The last of us
Wary
There is no escaping
This room
Or this tomb
Nor the gloom
Of heartbreaking
So listen
And learn
Then apply it painstakingly
Diligent
Increment
Progress ensues
When we talk to each other
About the issues

As you so
Beseech
I am getting more sleep
But lost sight of the now
Peering into the future
Appearing more often than not
In the past
But try as I might
To traduce the consumer
I find myself molded
On models of class

Not sure
What is meant
By initiative
Listlessness
Proving itself
A more gainful
Employ
Like a bone
To a dog
When he’s been a good boy
It just comes to me
Gifted
Rewarded
Endowed
With the secret to reign
From a database cloud

Opinion seems so obsolete
Impoverished is the beggar’s
Wretched states of mind you find me in
Endeavoring to sever

The forever from the finitude
Entranced in pondering despair
Of why my lonesome disposition
Sees her memory everywhere

In clarity of can I kiss you?
Now I miss her more than life
Itself is nothing in the end
Except Erisian seeds of strife

Implanted in discordant numb
Intangible emotional
Still dripping from my empathetic
Rhyme is immemorial

And frames of time are fractured
By the beings we believe in
Never telling you I loved you
More than merely breeding Edens

It's my unrelenting,
Intransigent
Stubbornness
Staunchly, unflinching,
Implacable
Arrogance
Bound and restrained
By the scruples
Of humble
But flaunted in stride
Like the king of the jungle
Contained within me
And set free
Should the need
Then arise to put faith
In a pre-destined pace
That my life just so happens
To move in without
My control over actions,
Reactions and habits
But what of the rebels,
The martyrs,
The mavericks
Who question the blind,
Deaf and dumb
In submission
And offer them then, instead
Conscious decision

Embittered
In winters
And withering prose
As I’ve wept it alone
In a tomb
Made of stone
Though heroics
Don’t show it
They mask
And aglow it
In written hubristic
Indulgence’s misfit
Admissions of guilt
It so deftly
Elicits
Consistent in
Wistfully
Weathering storms
For the other side’s sun
And the heart that it warms

Been gone from the pen
For too long in the dark
Off to start on the trials
That keep me apart
From illusory luxury
Lunacies haunting me
Self-loathing tendency
Tyranny taunting me
Flaunting its alter-ego
Need to know
Basis, secrets I’ve kept
In a bottle of woe
At the bottom of low
Where I count the rats crawling
Mites feast on my flesh
And the story is simply
Forgetting the rest

I’m the outsider left
In the darkness
Bereft
For too long
As I watched them all
Toil in squalor
Imagining
What they would do
For a dollar
There has to be more
Than my place on the earth
But to fight for it
Die for it
See her give birth
Was the land that they claimed
To its roots
Were engrained…
And I am the Communist
Seed
That they trained

Doesn’t seem to make sense
Why is anyone tense
Can we not just relax
And omit the pretense
Just admit
We are flawed
Some of us
Above law
As the others below
Long ago
Made our peace
But it speaks of injustice
And hushes its streets
Is inured
To succumbing
Insured
Against loss
And desensitized
Genocide
Keeps you addicted  
Submitted,
Subdued
In their ruse
You’re enlisted
So march
Soldier on
To recurring mistake
Let your pride
In our homicide
Rate
Make us great

Attempts at reforming
Don't stop global warming
Your valiant best efforts
Impress no one less
Than another dead kid or more
Under arrest,
Can't rebuild it back better
Endeavor to change
What won't work
About status quos
Stuck in their ways
And updates
To the program's
Internal software
Are no cure for the virus'
Lack of prepared
So compare all your prices
The shipping lane's closed
And submit to mandated,
Free-traded,
Imposed

Keep pushing the poison
To public consumption
Keep profiting off of
Disabling function
Of bodies succumbing
To numb effervescences
Wrapped in a blanket
Of bliss evanescences
Upping the dosages
Potencies hitting
Prescribed by the bought and sold
Doctors submitting
To fraudulent Pharma
Cartels cashin’ in
On the overdose ghosts
Of a future stolen
But why stop
When revival
Is one call away
And survival
Is free
For those willing to pay
For the privatized antidote
Prices arise
Just as quick as they fall
For the sweet street surprise

Irrelevant to anything
And relative to everything
Irreverent and vengeful
I just let vendettas fester
Irrespective of the damage
That it does,
Leaves me a specter
Of intuitive  
Construed
As disapproval
Of the members
Of society
Dismembered
From futility attempts
To settle conflicts,
But engendered
Is this neutral and submissive
Craving orderly
Pretense
But still regardless
Never shown
And never known
My true intents

Think i bother with the silly
Piddling triflings of the self?
I’m just the you and I alone
Forgotten anyone
Whose else
I know tomorrow when I run
I’ll move as hard as I can go
And write you stronger
Than I’ve ever
Thought about the undertow
You know I’m thinking of you now
The conscious mind can not contain
And I was thinking of you
Down
Below the rotting in my brain
I was insane to think
Beyond you in the distance
I could sink
And not return to walk the shores
Of all the oceans that I drink

Limited by
Writing just for the sake of it
Struggle to find
Any sense I could make of it
Life seems to be
Just to be
Mystery
So perplexingly
Mystifies me
Just to see
What becomes of the moon and the stars
And the sea
Without humans to name them
To reach out and claim them
Like gods who condemn them
To time and space wasteland

Someone for everyone
They say
Or so it goes
Well what if you found them
Already
But chose
Unbeknownst to you then
That they were somehow fated
To be just whatever
You needed
And waited
So longingly
Desperate to hold
Captivated
But still let them go
Despite feeling it so
And now you can no longer
Partake
In heartache
In the break
In painstakingly
Waking up next to a fake
An impostor of sorts
An ersatz replicant
There to fill in the void
That you still can't admit
To imposing upon you
So they would be happy
Be better off with someone else
To entrap them
And grapple with endless
In commonly flaws
Finding faults where they
Once shared
A most common cause
Be it rebels without one
Or purists endowed
With they still must be out there's
Duplicitous shroud

Can’t say I’m not eager
To see her again
To be back in the big city
Where we pretend
To be sure of ourselves
What we mean to each other
Transfixed on the secrets
We’ve yet to discover
Like prior engagements
That lie with another
Refusing to label it
Speak of it, think of it
Merely to live it
Until we let go of it
Once the temptation
Is satiated
In desire’s reluctance
Inebriated

We don’t know
What makes it
Gives way
To its presence
What manifests
Consciousness
Anyone’s guesses
But please rest assured
Inconclusive is bliss
I suspect
And expect
That the answer to this
Would be nigh on
Inscrutable,
Vexing,
Immutable
Mystery boxes
Whose contents
Unusable
Lose your mind trying,
Go mad with despair,
Clawing frenziedly,
Frantically
Rip out your hair
But your scalp
And your skull
And the null void within
Won’t reveal
Either still
How it makes the head spin
So give in
To the severance
From its
Malevolence
Join me apart
From its self-indulge
Edifice

Most days I’m normal
Can pass for
A person
Just slightly on edge
Of the world
I’m immersed in
Require the same
Bare essentials
To thrive,
I imbibe
And ingest
All it takes
To survive
But request
On occasion
The rest
Make exception
And see me as more
Than the point
Of conception

Try to capture these emotions
Pull you closer
Hold your ghost in
When I’m wandering
Alone in
All the words I left unspoken
When this cloak
Of holy wokeness
Loses confidence
Assured
Tomorrow you will still
Have reason
To return me to your door
Where wanting more
For us
Immutable
Still silently subsides
And acquiesces to whatever
We’re together she decides

Success and experience
Trial and error
Power is vested
From birth
I was better
Invested my MIND
In my goal
Empty-netter
But weather
Or knot…
We all go out
Together
Is just my prerogative
Your interrogative,
Am I still willing
To let you all live
Human piles of
Self-serving ****
I could give
If it’s just
At the top,
Where the Party
Don’t stop
That I drop
The whole scene
On the next
Photoshop

War becomes normalcy
Fact into fiction
The thought police state
Of surveillance suspicion
Thine neighborly enemies
Love thee no longer
Your best friend
A media mogul
Fear-monger
Outmoded,
Outdated,
Upgrade
Or you fade
To irrelevance,
Loneliness,
Powerless,
BANG!

She remains
But an image
Unreachable
Distance
The once again
Just the pen’s
Favorite for instants
Insistence on trying
Just seemingly fails
Every time
Love eludes
And unbalances scales
So confusing
How one day
Your path and hers cross
And the next
Couldn’t care less,
But I grieve the loss
And bereave the departed,
The fallen
Once fond
The no longer beside me,
The physically gone
Still remind me
Interminably
In eternity
I am the drifter
Through rifts in absurdity

I no longer care
What I think of myself
Insecure in my
Glass house
Of cards I’ve been dealt
But can make of them
Victory
Seamlessly
Scheme with me
Banish dissent
To invent
More machinery
War economics
Is my peace of mind
By design
Histrionics
Employed in my rhyme
Non-aligned to the pact,
The accord,
Nor the treaty
Just break it like bread
Promises
To the needy,
A greedy,
Lascivious
Megalomanic
Discordant purveyor,
Soothsayer
Of panic
Promoter of voter
Fraud
Laud the fine people
On both sides of I’ll
Convince them we’re equal
But we know the truth
There can only be one
Absolute
Who so ruthlessly
Rivals the sun
And when done
With remembrance
Remains in the pages,
Parades and crusades
And the subsequent stages
Prophetic
Magnetic
Charisma
Engages
The masses again
And the muses by pen
Yet the mask
Shall be cast
From my face in the end

Seek me
When at your most broken
Dismayed
When you’re lost and alone,
Can’t go home,
Feel afraid
Of revisiting
Past-induced trauma
Familial
When no interlocutors
Ever so willful
A partner
To listen,
Advise,
Recognize
When the silence
Is best
What you choose to confide

King of the jungle gym
Under the rubble dim
Light of survival
Is vanishing
Fast
Felt so tall
Just a moment ago
Harkened back
To a time before memory
Anchored longevity
Fleeting few moments
Reflection embraced
Still lamenting components
I couldn’t erase
No escape
From the weight
Of the crumbling facade
No uplifting salvation
To make me a god
Or equate such disgraced
Afterthoughts of creation
To some more outlandish
Evolve explanation
Acceptance of place
Beneath all mortal burden
Bequeathing assumptions
Default to uncertain
This earthen slime mold
Can preserve the self gone
Can deliver me from
The untimeliest bomb

On the verge of total war
When will you people learn
How many children need to die
How many have to burn

Before we raze our flags in peace
From Hiroshima shadows
Instead of hanging all our dreams
From Nagasaki gallows

How can these shores of liberty
With kingdoms in the clouds
Pretend the stars are reachable
Beyond the spangled shrouds

If they see only crowded beaches
Refuse in the wake
Of the rising tides of change
No plastic in the fake

News anchor's melting guise
No right to speak the truth
If it rebels wiser
Than the ignorance of youth

Do we not feel the frigid serpents
Slithering inside our veins
Do we not envision Edens
With our globalizing brains

Are we just mass-consumption plagues
Still digging pre-determined graves
Are we nothing more than pharaohs
Building pyramids of slaves

For I see strength to bend these chains
And I hear courage in these hearts
And I taste hope in lips of love
And I will teach them of these arts

Of all my muses' mysticisms
Of my power's inspiration
I will be the light to guide them
To a human divination

Where the past's no longer present
And the future is my gift to you
For none shall own the history
I've written as it’s coming true

End of the line
Am I losing control?
I feel like I have
A black hole in my soul
Now that I've returned
From a different dimension
To find that my home
Was not where I had left it
Instilled on a shimmering lake
In a bog
With my ghosts of the past
Whispering in the fog
How they loom in the gloom
Of this dubious cause
How their vapors exude
My corporeal flaws
Just an occupied landmass
A nut in a shell
A garden of Eden
Surrounded by hell
And I lie awake wondering
How'd I get here
I remember her name
But her voice is unclear
For now gone are the days
Where she keeps me off track
She has stolen my heart
And she's not coming back
So the next time I leave
To go win the space race
Let this now be the time
I forget too,
Her face

Keep training the people
To think we’re the greatest
Indoctrinate,
Inculcate,
Set the trend’s latest
Affirmed validation
Our culture is king
And to every shore corner
We’ll let freedom ring
Long as it’s
In the image
Of Liberty lavish
Adorned in the tragic
Gun massacre
Ravaged
Her body
A temple
To tyrants
And violence
Her rights are stripped bare
In her battle-scarred silence
Still wears
Only finest
Sweat-shopping spree
Charity
Refuse seas rising
Behold her disparity’s
Glaringly obvious
Lack of transparency
Winning forever wars
Losing herself
Till she can’t feed her babies
What’s left on the shelf
When it costs her
Exhausts her
To work just to live
For the rest of the world
Nothing more she can give
Except billions in aid
To sustain
Genocide
Still her beauty prevails
As she’s dying inside

Every night is cold,
It eats my soul,
It lets me go
And though unknown to you
Embitters
As it withers
Me in woe
A freezing rain,
Unceasing pain,
An endless
Friendless
Winter day
An empty space,
Estranged embrace
Encased
In icy
Psyche
Wastes

Somehow abnormal
To not need attention
To not crave the warm,
Soothing touch
Of affection
Been left to my own
Plot devices
And vices
And try as I might
Nothing seems to excite me
Entice me
Lust used to ignite me
Rewrite me
Completely
But only for her
And for her
What we were
Is no more
My brief blush
With polygamy
Ended before
I could flirt with disaster
And court her calamity
After enraptured
By love in its vanity
I just watched sanity
Slipping away
And still unto the goddess
Of discord
I pray

Wow she impresses
Expresses the rest of my
Leftist adherence  
Attracted to intellect
Over appearance  
Reminds me my goddess’
Gift
An add diction
Her way with words  
Music
To my mute affliction
My silence
And shyness
Her science explores
Turning my peace and quiet
To poetry roars
With inquisitive cues
Intertextual clues
Complimentary muses
With which I infuse
Best attempts
To be tempted
To mention
Dimensions
With take it slow
Get to know her
First conventions

The morning forlorn
After stormiest grays
By the rooftop is borne
The residual rains
A mellifluous sound
Pitter-patter atop
The tin ticking in rhythm
To my alarm clock
To be tranquilly roused
From intermittent slumber
Dispelling my scatter-brain dreams
As the thunder
Recedes from the night before's
Boisterous bellows,
Awakes to the break of day's
Mellowest yellows
And shades of the silhouette trees
At high noon
Complimenting the hues
Of my colorless blues
But contrasted against
Scintillating elation
Of past paradise's
Fragmented mentation
Demented dimensions
Of polychromatic
Prismatic
Ecstatic
Sporadic sense
Magic
The tricks that it played
On my mind
Automatically
Made in my image
A timeless depravity
Gravity swept off its feet
With a stroke
Of a heart so replete
With the ones that it broke
And oh how it wrote
Of lament penitence
To dispense with such beauty
I haven't seen since

Contained in a metal cylindrical bird
As I struggle to think of the word
I would use
To produce peace of mind
Should I plummet into
A first day of adventure
Still rife with abstention
From delving too deep
In the translate dimension
Again I’m expected
To make friends with strangers
Instead of exploring
This new city’s dangers
And drifting in half-conscious
Slumbersome speech
Here to teach them my lifestyle
Still out of reach

We’re all just
Walking corpses
Mass extortionists
Exploiting
One another’s
Other lovers’
Generosity
Avoiding
Indiscretion
Infidelity
Indefinite
Decay
And in the interim
Infer
There must be someone left
To save

Dispelling the shadows
Of ignorance
Luminous
Lost in the night
Guiding light
From the numinous
Sent unrelenting
Spent afterlives
Venting
And so incrementally
Turned to attentively
Tending
And blending
The seed  
And the breed
To collectively learning
To write
And to read

See through my eyes
And I’ll stare through yours back
Peering into the looking glass
Find what I lack
What is missing
A piece, perhaps two
Maybe three
Maybe dozens will make us
Feel finally free
To discover the falls
From the rise once again
Two journeys diverging
From whence they begin
Or began I suppose
Is the tense
I would use
When with rhyme
I dispose
And dispense with propensities
To disengage
Until all of those pieces
Again rearrange
In my head
And create
A new image of you and I
Twisted in fate

Been staying out late
With this girl
Who refers
To herself as the world,
All its trauma endures
Although sure she was sent
From the stars
She belongs
She just struggles to see
It’s right here in these songs
And if every last note
Is forgotten in time,
If eventually rhyme
Out of sight
Out of mind,
Should the music itself
So lamentably die
There were lives she impacted
Enchanted
And changed
And should see disappear
Mine is one that she claimed

Sink
In surrender
She wouldn’t soon
Weather
The storming of you
Misconstrues
Valuation
My life is but dirt
To a withered carnation
Just want you to know
That my love is engraved in
The strongest of stone
Still at home in goodbye
Still acquainted with
Living for
Reason to die

I stroll superciliously
Down the street
As I smirk at the poor souls
With little to eat
Unconcerned with what burdens
Weigh heavy on shoulders
From peaks up above them
I'm rolling the boulders
And wondering what
It would look like in smolders
If I were to burn
It all down to the ground
And expropriate any remaining
Estates like the Derg
In my own Terror Red
Irrepressible urge
Be the scourge
Be the bane
Of their archaic ways
And with no one left standing
But me, a new reign
Would expand and consume
The survivors in pain
And the world would at last
Know my name
And in vain
Never take it again
Unless I so ordain