Lacking some vital components
Of sustenance
Constantly grouchy and drowsy
Because of it
Body reduced to
Cadaverous, frail
Lazy muscles but hustle
Do I without fail
At the crack of each dawn
In the dewy, brisk chill
Run an hour on empty
And then get my fill
Of the daily bread rations
Potassium passionate
Fruit satisfaction
With just a few spoonfuls
Of protein combined
With this breakfast of champion's
Everyday grind

My acid brain drizzles
And sizzles with riddles
Of trickle down sickles
That tickle my fancy
To take it all
Make it my own
'Till I fall
But exuberant peace-keeping
Missions are all
I desire
My fuel to the fire
Is never tell me
Not to gods to aspire
To be, more than anything
I ever dreamed
Ever schemed
Could be possible, plausible
Fathomably
Comprehensible
Nah! Inconceivably so,
Inexplicable is
Where I let my mind go

Insist on your entitled status
Updates
Then extinguish the Kindle
Of past Tinder dates
Like a dwindling flame
In a deluge of privilege
You claim to bring change
But to it are indifferent
You act like baboons, like buffoons
Like cartoons
And you voice your opinion
With choice auto-tunes
As you swoon for inane
Superficial expression
Emoticon drones
Of real feeling repression
Attention you give
Is a transient cringe
A few seconds of Vines
And a Youtube clip binge
Your maturity, surely, can stand to improve
Think you have all the answers
And rudely conclude
That of vibes and of mood
Only good you exude
But they're not worth their weight
In your Instagram food
For the idols
You idly prattle about
Flaunting others successes
As you are without
Any merits to tout,
Any anthems to shout,
All you stand for is force-fed
To spew from your mouth
Your identity forfeit
To sociopathic
Hack-tactic blackmailers
Still tracking your packages
Facts
Do not phase you
Concerned only with
How many hit like
On your profile pic
And where next you can score
One more hit it and quit it
Admit it, you kids
Just don't know how to live it

Still miss her like crazy
Pretend it don't phase me
But lately I've been
Thinking possibly, maybe
Just maybe
I have to believe it
Put her in the past
For the last time
And mean it
For two years of more
Continentally-drifting
Seems only to further the Great Rift
Of shifting
From living in loverless mountains amidst
What I tell myself
I really need
To exist
Back to shores of more wandering
Sandy-toed steps
In my infinite pondering
Bottomless depths

Life is a flash
Before self-deceit eyes
Promises that we keep
To ourselves, are all lies
We know constantly changing
Is how we evolve
Yet resist it whenever
There's problems to solve
Making more in the process
Of progress to test
Human limits and nature
Beyond what is best
But sometimes I feel like
Only I realize
Through my own pair of so-often
Self-deceit eyes
That attempts to glimpse truth
Behind layers of fallacy
Seldom if ever
Elucidates how to be
No longer searching
For answers to who
Am I? What am I?
What should I do?

The underlings stare
In submissive awestruck
Subjugation in landmine-filled
Landfills, are stuck
In the trenches, the feces
The carcass-strewn muck
Where the vermin-spawn ****
As they're taught how to work
And to fend for themselves
Like the Fall of Dunkirk
As the imminent doomsday device overhead
Incapacitates them
As mere prey to a web
Of a global dominion
Ambition connection
Subconscious hive-mind
Buzzing out the objection
And phobia-spreading
Pandemic misanthropy
Greed in disguise
Subsidizing atrocity
Not for me,

I am
The justified treason
The reason the man-hunters
Close open season
The cease-fire peacekeeper
Proliferation
The water war's rising
Desertification
An MIA runaway
AWOL defector
Still haunting the tombs of detente
Like a spectre
With what I assure
Mutually in the end
When I send go-aheads
On the ICBMs
And avenge the dependent expended
Caught in
This crossfire for-profit
Arms race it has been

I will bathe you in rivers of blood
'Till you see
There is no revolution
Without some of me
Not a page in this history book
Could be turned
Nor its secret society's
Shadows be burned
Without my procreation's
Next unheeded seed
Without my ravenous
Dark desire to breed
To be freed from the civilized man's
Inner-peace
To be summoned from depths
Of his inner-most beast
And set loose upon
Innocent flesh to devour
To sever and rend and smite down
To seize power
Is yours simply if
You succumb to my will
Let me show you
How easy
It can be
To ****

Don't think about her
Nearly as much
As I used to
By now I am used to
The miles away
And the days that roll
Carelessly by
Cannot change
The estrangement I felt
The last time in her presence
As I would draw near
To the end of my sentence
She would without hesitance
Preoccupy
Her pretty little mind
With excuses for why
Her and I
Could not be
Brought together in moments
That felt more like
We

You drown your potential
I swim with the sharks
You get sentimental
I break broken hearts
When you lie to yourself
I'm the serpentine grin
When you count all your wealth
I'm the ghost of Chi Minh
When you fail to confess
I'm the guilt in your chest
Where you see the oppressed
I'm the civil unrest
You regret nothing? Oh, is that so?
Well I do
I lament every moment
And know you do too
You are scared to be what
I release from its cage
Just an unmuzzled mutt
Layin' waste to this page

If I perish five minutes
From now
In some tragedy
Weep not for me
Just pass on
My depravity
Let my insanity spread
To each head
Propagate my disease
Like a plague to be read
And in bold anonymity
Mark my tombstone
Still unknown the identity
Of the Alone

Just know
I found no
Better place left to go
Where I wander eternally
Restless in woe
Is an arid expanse
Where I reap what I sow
And what grows there
Can never quite seem to appease
The fell hunger
Just miles of salted-earth seas
And the breeze is a fiery
Whirlwind of plague
And about me outstretched
Filthy hands as they beg
Seem to stay my own conscience
From dealings with just
And as fairness and equity
Wither to dust
I look forward to dusk
And tread on to the dawn
Of long gone dreams of lush
Verdant pastures and meadows
And forests enchanted
By paradise shadows
For there lying fallow
Beside a soft stream
Is my long-deceased faith
In this nightmarish dream

Why do I venture
Stray so far away
To find what will never be found
Anyway
Is it some exaltation
Of my inner peace
That I seek to have ascertained
Sitting alone at the peak
To escape what is breaching
The bounds of contention
Potential I have so much more
Left to mention
All knowledge eludes me
Despondent subdues me
And through me becomes
Empty vessels of gloomy
Reductive and counter-productive
Constructions
Debased as they slip through
My tenuous clutches
No more can I grasp
The original vision
Is blurred and distorted
By pointless derision
Omissions of what I initially
Dreamt
To make sense of realities
Often exempt
Have I been
From the coffins they form around
My crawling skin
But within this impoverished
Subconscious decay
Do I see now
Why they bow
To their knees
And pray

Starting to dream in the language
But wish
Explanation translations
Were easy as this
Seems to be for me
Writing comes naturally,
Freely it flows
But to them it would be
Something only few know
How to even begin
To interpret my syntax
Relaxing and chatting up
Chewing on chat
And for that taking part
Demands speaking it back
But I lack the right words
To talk to them with tact
And enrich conversations
Of indigent thought
With invaluable bundles
Of muses I brought

Just give me a cause
Something worth fighting for
Something worth living for
Something worth dying for
For I would even settle
For worth trying for
Because none of it
Up to this point
Offered more
Than a daily distraction
To help me looked passed it
Neglect, disregard, and forget
How it happens
To pass before we even realize
It's gone
As it flashes before our sleeping eyes
See the dawn
And how many expire
And fade away lost
Without barely a scratch
On the surface of meaning
Will never cease to make me
Disbelieving
In whether this dreaming
Ephemeral state
Is bestowed upon us
To teach us how to wait
Patiently for salvation
Or flames in the furnace
Of Hell's conflagration
With only two options
Instilled upon birth
AN eternity spent
In some alternate Earth
What is anything worth?
Then again I must ask it
Just to find the answers
Are sealed in a casket

Try to exist
And be one of the people
Pretending I'm equal
In effort I give
Just to live
And keep peaceful
Be calm with the kids
Who intrude into my
Personal introspection
And  pester me with
Their illiterate questions
Incessantly saying my name
Without aim
Without seeking to find
More that I might explain
I just wish they would go
Far away, and refrain
From frustrating me on to no end
In their game

I pose as this person by day
Who admits
To the others, his brothers
No god he submits
To more regal in splendor
More real in its form
More unruly enraged in
Its wrath firestorm
None its equal in might
Of life-giving aflame
The sol only creator
False prophets disclaim
But in vain is my quest
To convince them or dare
For with all of their deities
Mine gladly shares
Its irrefutable
Undisputed dominion
Across the sky realms
Of religious opinion
And sets upon Earth
With its mercy in tow
Reappearing each day
As its progeny grows
To discover the omniscient
Secrets it frequents
In flight, alight bright
Until someday, we reach it

Sorrow is loss
I believe
I can feel it
And any man's hand
Has the will
To reveal it
But that of a creature
Unknown to your kind
Is required to grasp the kind
Of which is mine

What they don't know
Won't hurt them
Not here to desert them
Or try to convert them
Effects that I happen to have
Inadvertent
But certain am I
What these people teach me
Born from not but the dirt
To grow into a tree
In their dormancy sleeps
A compassion for life
But their lot in it sharpened
It into a knife
And a spear tip to stave off
The predators lurking
I'm simply an herbivore
Shepherd observing

Counting the days
Left remaining ingrained in
This muddy, rat-hole, bug-infested,
Duress-filled uneasiness nest
Just to test my depressive
Resolve at its limits
Conflicted with finding the faith
It inhibits
And given two years to make sense
Of surrender
Expendable humans
I serve, a defender
Of peace there in me
Still it yearns to be free
But condemns itself to
Costs of living for free
Finding harmony in
What is simply easy
Understood to me as
One does melancholy

Silly girl
You forget
It was I who consoled you
Alone in the night
In my arms I behold you
Was I who extolled you
The praises I’d write
As if serenades lulled you
To beckon my sleight of right-handed
Commanded
Deceptive, entrancing
Love potions rebranded
In simple semantic
Spell-checking pedantic
Atlantic allusory depths
Of romantic
Void undertow woes
Where we’d sink for forever
As I kept describing us
Perfect together

Even when
I do not
Seem to have you
I do
I step with you in stride
Every day I get through
I contain you inside
My sole essence of being
And restless I think of you
Always as leaving
Me grieving, in search of
The tallest of peaks
To behold of your splendor
It renders me weak
And depleted, worn, weathered
And weary ascending
Still ardently seeking
Your love never-ending

Exhaust myself venturing
Into unknowns
In my bones start to feel
Myself slowly grow old
Still resilient
Resistant
My youth is recalcitrant
As it revolts against
Wasted time I have spent
Brooding, colluding
With vanities decadent
Lusting for power
Remembered by all
For how I rose to seize it
From others’ downfall
Just to plummet as one
Of the outcasts of hubris
Ambition’s abortions
Successes’ refuses
Reclusive within
My hermitic exile
With nothing to gain
Think I’ll sleep for awhile

I wonder like thunder
Storms in the night sky
How it all came to form
Above mountaintops high
How the jungle has lungs
And with each breath it thrives
Teeming life in its infinite
Strive to survive
And as I pass it by
And it passes me by
I think only of what
A sublime place to die
Despite how much I try
To describe my goodbye
And believe there are gods
Who would ever reply
To my doubtful decries
Only to be shown why
I am here, I’m alive!
At least...
Most of the time

What maidens appear in my dreams
Do I fabricate
Faces unseen before dissipate at
An alarming rate
Soon as my eyes open wide
And remind
Me why I
Do no longer see those
Of my past lives’ disguise

Technical issues
Malfunctioning wires
The power sporadically
Comes, then expires
As quick as the rains
In cascades upon town
Serenade me to sleep
As they crash all around
And depart to the chirping
Of crickets in thickets
Of dense foliage
As the canopy glistens
Bejeweled in the dews’
Opalescent sun rays
As the colobus leap
To and fro as they play
On display is a wilderness
Otherworld bliss
And the people as natural
Components subsist
Off the land that has nourished them
Centuries old
Now a part of their story
Mine set to unfold

I feel such a joyless and reckless, unbridled
Despair of some incessant boredom time trial
So much of it placed in my hands to control
And to bend to my will, but I just do not know
What to do with it all, but imagine a place
Where again reunited within her embrace
It would all have been worth it, to flee undeserving
Of her concerns, left to my morbid devices
observing
The rest of its turning
Without her nearby
Until in her resplendence
She sets in the sky

We triumph for those who have known us in glory
And in utter ruin remember the story
Acknowledge our valor, our power to keep
Braving all odds unheeded, march into the deep
Preserving a legacy not quite our own
Be of foes we have bested to reclaim the throne
Or of people we’ve wrested from brinks of despair
Abject in their poverty, dreamless nightmare
As we serve higher causes of righteous assurance
Our quest ever dauntless against the abhorrence
An amoral mass of the impure intent
In our ascent raise them from endless lament
To depart from a world to for years we have been
But as shadows to those of us living in sin
For it is but of ours time itself meets its fate
And begins to devour us all in its gape

No faintest ray of light
Shines in
Or finds it can
Divine a grin
Above my chin
As darkness seeps into my skin
Wherein the fading joy persists
To fein another day amidst
So many glances skeptically
And questioningly scowering me
Or some don’t seem to care I’m here
Don’t meet my eyes, nor dare I there’s
A stranger in some stranger land
And every night the rains again
Crash down upon this muddy shack
Until my dreams all fade to black

Making this place a home
Is no easy feat
When I can’t even make
A hot meal I could eat
And in no earthly form
So desire to learn
How from not but a twig
And a stone
Make it burn
Just expecting to introspectively
Endure
This new prison cell in darkness clutches
Emmured
In insanity shrill shrieking silent serenity
Nothing to make me believe
I deserve to be
Anywhere else but this lush green oasis
Draining the life from this shell it encases
Making the most of the least of my problems
And unto the peoples’
Give myself to solve them

We shared the same room
The same bed
But I dread
Getting into her head
When inside her undoing
Eschewing from ruining
This union through
Everything I would say
I could do
To keep you
From discovering never a love
I declared to be true
And least of all this ill attraction unto
Her lascivious libidinous
Easy come
Easy go, watch me leave
Before you
Even know

Out of nothing came something
It must have, it had to
And in its destructive
Rebirth I’d be glad to
Ignite the incipient embers
Of change
And watch as it smolders
Again in the flames
Of interminable
Labyrinthian corridors
Sentient prison walls
Trapped in my nevermores
I didn’t ask to be gifted
Nor cursed
With the revelatory
Epiphany thirst
For an arid and barren
Deserted desire
The moisture eluding
My lips in the fire

Surrender your claims
Or give in to the thirst
Then relinquish your bearings
For I was here first
And I’ve parted the skies
With a dauntless ascendance
And opened third eyes
With enlightened resplendence
In ages now gone
And unknown to us all
I gave rise to each new breed
Of species to fall
One by one
To the one
I so foolishly gifted
With intellect
Then how the paradigm shifted

Remembering back
To when I first arrived
Couldn’t speak, but to say
I was grateful to be
A brand new addition
To your family
And 2 months it’s been now
Growing fond and at ease
In your presence, your company
Meals you made me
All seemed to come naturally
As the ferenji uncertainty held
In two distant and different upbringings Dispelled
Of the looming rejection
In human connection
And comfort I felt
Without fail or despair
As your home became my
Latest place I could rest
Until really goodbye

Words have such a funny little way
Of saying just enough
A means through which the end conveys
Intangible dimension stuff
Composed of immaterial
Surrealist bits and pieces
Decomposing in ethereal
Extinction level species
At the pinnacle of pensive
We incessantly conceive
Perceptions formed in the defense of
Higher beings we believe
And often give it all to see
Their rightful place among the stars
And as we fell the final tree
We do it all again on Mars
As discontent with our successes
As we are amidst the bliss
Of failure’s most enlightened guesses
To elucidate what any of this
Is...

Trepidation invades
From the furthest recesses
Have only my doubt
And my clout
To express it
Out there on my own
With a people unknown
Despite growing familiar
With what they call home
Mana koo is still far
Hiriyoota apart
From each other and I
Am an alien sort
Of explorer, not brave
Not of fearless, just restless
And careless as thought
I put into my lessons
Concerned only with
How to scrounge my next meal
Only truth ascertained
I don’t know how I feel

Been making a statement
Since chalk on the pavement
Erasing complacent
Content in my basement
Been searching for famous
Since pen hit the paper
A COINTELPRO
Expose’ prose’n muckraker
No stake in your stockholder
Meeting this evening
Just cuttin’ deals laced with
A little left-leaning
Obscene acts of terror
Each letter a crime
A defacement of privatized
Property swine
Dispossessed but of rhyme
Like the spirit of Marti
Till I’m callin’ party boss
Shots of Bacardi

And it’s on to the genocide
After you labeled me
Branded, enslaved me
Then as a beast, stabled me
Tabled my questions
And grievances then
Made me feel I was less
Than a man among men
When some semblance of freedom
Was finally reached
You just kicked down the doors
As our homelands were breached
And then preached your divine
Racial right to rule,
Hatred fuel speech
Then you slaughtered my people
In droves
As was shown
To the rest of the world
A facade
Mockery history
As it added more jobs
To polluted and muted
Vox populi rooted
In fear that their name
Is the next new recruited
To die by the bullet
The blade or the bang
Or the furnace forged famine’s
Frail hope hunger pang

Does it think
Any more
Any less than I do
Or does it simply do
What it has to get through
An inherent, instinctive
Autonomous act
Irrefutably true
Biological fact
Just does not seem to me
To be easy, believed
I myself think enough
For us both to perceive
And in consciously willing
It so do I know
It indeed contemplates
Where in death does it go

I don’t deserve to reproduce
To be alive
To even breathe
But don’t feel obligated to
Start holding yours
Until I leave

What goes through your head
When you’re on your deathbed
The life flashing before
The oblivion dread
And whatever belief was to you
Disappears
And your sixth sensory deprivation
Appears
In the final formless self-projection unto
The regret, the mistakes
Everything you’d redo
Should you find on the other side
Reincarnation
Enlightening you anew
True divination

How much time spent alone
Quite unknown
But a lot
I’d be willing to wager
The parts of my soul
Not quite yet
Left to rot
In forgotten ideals
As the steel bleeds the page
And lays claim to my pain’s
Indomitable rage
Manifesting the best of me
Deposing destiny
Toppling tyrants
In silent soliloquy
No more emotion, I’ve spoken
Too much of it
Wasted it
Tasted it
From her lips dripping
In her clutches gripping
My paper meshe
Heart of art as it’s ripping
And slipping through cracks
To an undertow woe
And without her I aimlessly go
With the flow
Never slowing my pace
Until all of you know

Isolate me
Cut my tongue out
Throw away the key
I will still find the words to reason
With you people
If I need
To rule this town
And seize the crown
From heavy lies beheaded greed
And in its harems I will plant the seed
My progeny will be
Impurity’s new breed of legacy
Eternally they’d read
Appease my memory insatiable
As masses that I’d feed
And none would dare to challenge me
Chaotic orders I would lead
And all would heed
My epic poetry
Uniting spirits freed

What sense is there still clinging
To the strands of fate not severed yet
We met, we let the best of us
Reset, and I forget the rest
Of storms we weathered just
To see the other side of life expressed
In silent chimes of solar lust
Combusting seas of shimmer shade
Charades as we began to fade
She knew me in a time when I
Did not myself seem to know I
Why from her side my path had strayed
To stained Mnemosyne replayed
And as I paved it to my grave
I made a slave of her and bade
Farewell to my temporal shell
And sealed the soulless wretch in hell

Been gone from the pen
For too long in the dark
Off to start on the trials
That keep me apart
From illusory luxury
Lunacies haunting me
Self-loathing tendency
Tyranny taunting me
Flaunting its alter-ego
Need to know
Basis, secrets I’ve kept
In a bottle of woe
At the bottom of low
Where I count the rats crawling
Mites feast on my flesh
And the story is simply
Forgetting the rest

I am Death in the flesh
Bereft life’s final breath
I have conquered eternity’s peak
Without rest
As I longed to express
From my emptiness chest
Why I can’t seem to pass this mortality
Test

Can’t say I’m not eager
To see her again
To be back in the big city
Where we pretend
To be sure of ourselves
What we mean to each other
Transfixed on the secrets
We’ve yet to discover
Like prior engagements
That lie with another
Refusing to label it
Speak of it, think of it
Merely to live it
Until we let go of it
Once the temptation
Is satiated
In desire’s reluctance
Inebriated

Lousy with drowsiness
Trying to write
I succumb to the eyes’
Irresistible night
A serenity scenery
Reverie taunting me
Setting in stone
A tone
Ominous, haunting me
Ending, mind-bending me
Impending doom
As the dreaded contentment
An interlude tomb
Then begins to disturb
Me from thunderous slumber
A spark to revive  
To describe my dead smile
Still playing alive
And imbibe the cascade
Conscious stream fear of falling
In love with the first sympathetic
Muse calling
Contained in a shattered frame
Out of its mind
Losing all track of time
Till the wake up call rhyme

See through my eyes
And I’ll stare through yours back
Peering into the looking glass
Find what I lack
What is missing
A piece, perhaps two
Maybe three
Maybe dozens will make us
Feel finally free
To discover the falls
From the rise once again
Two journeys diverging
From whence they begin
Or began I suppose
Is the tense
I would use
When with rhyme
I dispose
And dispense with propensities
To disengage
Until all of those pieces
Again rearrange
In my head
And create
A new image of you and I
Twisted in fate

We’re all a little mad in here
Inside the rhyming riddle realm
Where ravens are like writing desks
And jibber jabberwockies dwell
In incoherent babble
Metaphysically poetry
Identities in crisis
Heads will roll
As we let go of me
In search of wonderlands
Preserving childhood naiveté
The most peculiar dreams
Have come to party over tales and tea