Is where the say soothes
In my doom
Indecision  
The gloom in my room
Is a you
Apparition
The ghost of my former
Most self-cynicism
Just looking back inward
Deep into
My innards  
Of brain matter
Scattered
About me in thin words

Either bow or take heel
All revealed
Is secured
Just as soon as you yield to me,
Lay down the sword
And return to your homes
Clear the streets of debris
And go back to consuming  
Your garbage tv
Still inducing my lucid
Hallucinogens
Fall in line
To my virus’
New synthesis
Of the truth from the false
In the form of a pulse
Sending bipolar currencies
Rippling across
The brain waves
Of the mindless one’s
Consenting slaves
And the graves that I dig
Beneath trade-ways are paved
In the wake of my seeking submission
Admission
Now trust in my bank account’s
Human condition
My weapons of peace’s
Coerced mercy mission
My laws to be broken
By only the makers
My bar to be set
By the highest test-takers
Erasing the chaotic
Host of scape GOATs  
I’m the satyr-horned tyrant‘s
Divisive vote’s most
Holy Ghost
Influential,
Convincing,
The quiet is listening
In deep to your sleep-stalking
Dream conversation
Wherein sanctity
Of my unity lurks
In my get back to work’s
Multinational perks
So persist in my
We’re all the same
Different day
And in my spoils revel
Your whole life away

Spoken with the lost out there
Among the stars in creeping gray
Surrendered to the never ending
Time will never be this way
Just wanted you to be
The more
Than I would ever
Let together
Out among the stars
Implore
The life will never be this way
Again
For in there
I was Dead
And never ever thought
Me better
Than the thoughts
Inside your head

Intent is in
The intonation
How I feel you
Hear you say it
How your truth disguise
Displays it
How your lying eyes
Betray it
Once the probing question
Raises
How could I be seen as racist?

Take a look at the sky,
It’s actually blue
Then look at me looking
Right back at you
Through
Peering into your eyes
One last time
I surmise
How to synthesize
All the emotions inside
Synchronizing them in
An intuitive tune
Like a peace and disquiet
I’m leaving too soon

The rusting
Injustice
The worker
The whip
The upgraded
Today
A slave trade
Microchip

I saw
How the world
Felt without her
Beside
The unbridled temptation
To soar through the sky
At the end of the earth
Where I still hear the chirping
Of never come home
And I never knew less
Than an age made of stone
But despite how I roam
Like a satellite phone
And the void beckons sweeter
Than her pheromone’s
Ceremonious coaxing
My psychosis
Host
Into melding together
Its empathy ghost
With her most
Incandescent
Vivaciousness
Spirit
I couldn’t quite overcome
Why I still fear it

Perhaps you’re expecting
A spectacle
Puppet show
Thespians falling in love
With the undertow
Rowing
And rowing
Your boat down a stream
Always merrily,
Merrily
Living the dream

And now
All that’s left
Is to think
And to choose
How we liberal
Idealists
Can ignite the fuse
How we took two together
And made them engage
How we sparked curiosity’s
Discipline blade
How the purist
Of privilege
Could all come together
Discuss it,
Debate it
And make it all better
The logic and reason
Prevails
Over ails
And the ancient philosophy
Still never fails

Don’t ever presume
To the depths
You met me
Don’t assume
I can be
Anything that I see
I am nothing but dust
In the tranquility
I have given up hope
And emotion
And woke
Up upon
Other sides
And beside myself
Spoke
Of the furthest recesses
Of what
I once wrote
As a token
Of broken
Apologies
Choke
Out the words
Say it all to my face
I betrayed you,
Unmade you,
And sought to upgrade you
A waste of time space
But I needed you more
Than I care to embrace
Though the yearning
To turn with you
Catching the glimpse
Singularity
Moments
Like omens
Of bliss

I wanted to tell you
What I really feel
Wanted it to seem truth
Wanted it to seem real
Wanted to
See the sand
All around us
At hand
Wanted you to be more
Than I don’t
Understand
How the everything happens
And here I still am

Still am I
The unconquered
Idyllic peace keeper
The pharaoh’s ascension
Dimension
Mind-sweeper
The sleeper cell
Dwelling in
Shrouds I dispel
In a crowd
More alone
Than a snowflake in hell
I am hubris
Exuded
In ruins
And tombs
Obelisks,
Pyramids
Only timeless exhumes
As I animate
Reincarnations
In bloom
I renew
The infinitude
Energy mood
I am food
Of all being
Ensuring tomorrow
Will still be worth seeing
And fleeing like ants
From my psychlopto-beaming
In gleaming
Infusion blasts
Madness is screaming
In wake of my earth-baking
Heat-waving
Glaive
In its razing
The wandering bodies
I crave
And emblazon
The firmament’s
Haziness maze
In my singeing wing
Signature
Look upon me
And rejoice
Or despair
You are finally free

I’m not playing my games anymore
I want more
For each industry
God
Is a titanic fraud
And not even
The stars in their skies
I applaud
For behind them
In waiting
Is Erebus
Gaping
The state
In its making
The home front  
Abroad

Suppose it comes back  
To us pondering endlessly
Values,
Priorities,
Profligate
Spending sprees
Guess it depends
Where exactly
You are
To have borne
Such a cultural norm
To adorn
What material riches
Could ever surpass
Our empathic
Ability to
Social class

Still licking my accolade gladius
Clean
Of the victories,
Triumphs
And grandiose schemes
Monumental
I thought of them
In adolescence
Seem trifles
Compared
To the slaying senescence
Achieving its
Ego supremacy
Killed
By the millions
Whose blood
By my hand
Isn’t spilled

My failure complete
Now I weep
Intermittently
Throughout the day
I accept
She is through with me
Only internally
Though
The drops flow
On the surface
A face of stone  
Sinking below
Undertows
Still adrift
In the first
I let go
Where to go now
Is now
One more thing
I don’t know
An uncertainty
Future
Futile to resist
All because
By myself
I preferred to desist
My existence
Consistently  
Disappointments
Of disloyalty,
Distance,
Disingenuous
Dissonance
In discordant
Disguises amiss
In its thinking of you
As but showing you bliss
Was in fact for us even
A work in progress
And if nothing more comes of
The timeless expanse
We spent urging
The merging
Us into romance
I am glad to have seen you
As you would see me
I am honored beyond love
That I was once we
And I’ll never forget you
Regrets, mine alone
And still mold in your image
This earth
We call home

Earth unprepared
To repair
What demand
Leaves its wishing well
Wistfulness
Weeping wastelands

Withering on
Like the winds
Carry plague
Melancholic
The strain
Sorrow I can’t explain
And emotion
Is dopamine’s
Poetry name
For what I really feel
Is a figurative pain
Not an ouch
But it hurts
I am worthless
Than dirt
For at least
As the soil
Some sign of life blooms
From its loamy, lugubrious
Funeral tombs

Waiting
And salivating
For salvation
And sooner or later
It’s there
And you hate it
But ate it up
Nonetheless
Soon as the gods
Cared to bless you
With culture supremacy’s
Nest

The gangs are the left
I’m the master suspicion
She’s not coming back
Not a star
To be wishin’
Upon
So go fish
For a dish in the kitchen
Soups on
And the homeless
Are worlds away
Hoping
Soon all be revealed
As the kid
Interloping
Some empath,
A scribe,
Messenger
In his stride
Impish his
Disposition
The Pacific
In his glide
And his mind
Is awhirl
Wind divining
Declining
Empire
Design
For the architect’s
Shape-scaping
Wasteland of mine
But the tribe
Is his center
His entryway to
Centuries
Of rich heritage,
Culture,
And food

Sort of driving me crazy
How much
Lament heavies
It weighs
On my subconsciousness  
Consciences
As it levies
All odds
Stacked against me
It knows what I want
More than I ever could
How it knows
It wants you
Even if
It’s not good
And it wants
To apologize
See you sometimes
But still wants
To be so far alone
In demises
Comprising
The see you again
But why would
You want to
Ever
Letters resend
It was clear
It was over
The moment I saw
You were eons apart
From me
Breaking the law
Just to face you again
In my tiny lie shame
Just to feel me
Inside you
Exhaling your name

If you think
That I’m anything more
Than a ****
You put far too much faith
In what bonds
I made stick
For I know
That you’re thinking of me
Just as much
As I like to admit
The name of
My first crush
How I wanted to taste you
To waste away
Chasing
Your proud
So devotionals
Effulgent glow
You would luminous rooms
Reminiscent of shrooms
But I needn’t indulge
Anymore than you’d groom
Me for what I expect
Was the rest of your life
But all aspects of mine
I would think
More than twice
Upon second-guess
Over and over
Distress
How you were
Not enough
Of what
I could express
And you must have felt
Similar
So I suppose
Or else why
All of this
Currently
I disclose?

Desperate as ever
To find my way
Back to you
Reconnect,
Synchronize,
See the whole world
Anew
Should even slip
A quick hiccup
Or glitch
In the system presenting itself
Be amiss
Then I may
For a moment
Consider it thusly
But never imagine
You no longer trust me
But just me
Would be
The conclusion
I’d reach
To whatever end
Seemingly
I tried to teach

So many climbing
To mountain tops
Striving
To look out
And see something,
Anything
Flying
That feeling you get
Some sensational
Vertigo
Edge of the world
Not a care
In its worries though
Clouds in the sky
Rolling by
With the sun aglow
Show of force
Nature’s subliminal
Reinforced
Message
Be here
In the now
And in all things
Be present

Writing some
Petty indifference
Aside
I could be anywhere
And not care
To abide
By the rules
I’m with you
All of you
Here in time
I just want it to end
Want it to
All subside
But I knew you
I felt that I really
Grew to you
Just couldn’t quite see
What it took
To see through you
Nor ever did grasp
What you rooted to
Truly

Reverting the introvert
Outward upon you
The world doesn’t know me
And isn’t the only
One I have seen
Gleaming
Its translucent dream
But I couldn’t explain
What it possibly means
From within
My domain
The confines
That contain
I guess brain’s
Single mind
Is the accurate phrase?

You had to go your way
I had to go mine  
Had to let you go grow
In your own place and time
Had to let you be you
Had to let me be me
Had to let myself
Ponder
The great mystery
Had to see what the world
Had to offer
To us
Had to come back,
Regret it,
And regain your trust
Had to question
Why it
And love
Wasn’t enough
Had to answer it with
Miscellaneous stuff  
Had to do with
Two humans
In union
Together
Had to
Misconstrue it
As always
Forever

Hard to lose
What you never quite knew
How to use
What you often refused
To accept
Part of you
Could be only
Made wholly
Mine own
To exude
Its ad astra projections
Unto
Solitude’s
Other misshapen faces
Askew in their views
Amiss placing
Its imminent
Preeminence
In an exodus
From what remains
Of its resonant
Dissonance
Nothing explains

I told you all this
Was for you
An eon
Ago
Never quite knew
You would truly
Beyond me though
Even in hindsight
I write for you now
Not the slightest idea
Of its fall apart
How
Could it come to this
Missing you more
Than I care to express
Or would even think
Possible
Under duress
If you pressed me
With that kind of warmth again
Gladly
Embrace you
Retracing  
My steps into madness
When I was incapable
Of showing love
Was no more to me
Than
Merely you
Dreaming of
Some edenic utopian
Light shining through
The shroom windows
Perception
With you in my room
So attuned to your frequency
Seeking me
Weak  
At my most
Vulnerable
State of mental
Mystique

It’s all in the voice
In the faintest
Of hisses
Its promises
Succulent
Sugar sweet
Kisses
The wishes it grants
Are deliciousness
Blisses
When all that it asks
Is the whole
Mortal soul
As it guides the pen hand‘s
Signature
To the scroll

There was Africa me
No one wanted to be around
Couldn’t so much
As set foot on the ground
Make a sound
That was welcome
Contentious abounded
Whatever I said
Or I did
Or I didn’t do
Already
Dead
Now there’s back at home me
Land of liberty
Bound
Unemployed
But enjoying
A stroll into town
And a run in the park
Past a people who know me
Don’t throw stones
Or shade
And don’t try to control me
Just let me go
On my way
‘Bout my day
Only slowing to smile
And wave
No delay
But still something is missing
Some sense
Of community
Lost in a country
This virus
Is ruining

It’s clear
You don’t care
About people
Still dying
So maybe it’s time
You heard
Animals
Crying
And feel what it’s like
To be trapped in a cage
Pacing back and forth
Back and forth
Listless all day
It’s not natural
Not normal
Not instinct
Not real
It’s like no one else  
Ever
Explained
What they feel
Enough for you
To know
I don’t want to be food
But I also don’t want
To be rude
Telling you
That it’s time to bequeath
That full plate
Full of meat
And stop eating these animals
Clearly replete
With a bevy
Of unhealthy
Parasite
Viruses
Lost in the
No weapons prosper
Against me
My weapon of choice
Is the time race
Commencing  
My voice to say anything
It ever dreamed
Even if
It’s extreme
And no one else
Believes
It could ever be real
I don’t either
Just know
What I feel

Wonder if
You wonder if
You often cross my mind
And how you linger there
As I just stare
And wonder why
I even try
To put a smile
On that face,
When I know
It could not
Erase
Those crazy feelings
So you claimed
But I know you feel nothing,
Same
Except perhaps
Some grave dependency
On me
Or somebody
To have,
To hold,
To clearly see
Really wanted to love
And be loved
As easy
As the rest of us seem
To believe
We receive
And deserve unto death’s
Unreserved
Deceive

Kid stays on his feet
All the live long day
Doesn’t care to take seat
Never bows,
Never prays
But offer
Refreshment
And you can expect
To make friends with him
Won’t be too
Farther away
From the moment
The genuine courtesy
Flows
And the mutual human
Befriends
Former foes

We are one god together
Your anger
Comes from places of good
Intentions
Freedom isn’t free
But it should be
No?
The tech kids are on us
The technoids
Supply us
I’m no villain
But it’s fun
To pretend to be one
Sometimes
Been singing it long since
I found you
Unbound you
How alone
That I really was
Hung on the phone
But I wrote of the dirges,
The scourges
Of passion
And somehow
You heard them,
And took to their fashion
Despite how it clashed
With the outfitted
Madness
The first thought
To pop
In my head
An old adage
Went something like
She wasn’t meant to be
Waves at the sea
Wasn’t meant to be you
Wasn’t meant to be me
Couldn’t see
Every
In the unity beam
Nor as high
As my smoldering wings
Carried me
There was her
There was him
There was light-dimming
Din
Resonance
In the fading of timeless
Again
There was kings
There was queens
There was ambient
Fiends
There were beings
Redeeming
My fatalist fates
In the face of believing
And then intervening
To herald my victory
Triumphant
Eulogy
Proud to be falling
In love with serenity
Dare as I
Bold as the
Erinyes
Bearing me
Sharing my mystery
Glimpse of infinity
With what remembrance’s
Remnants
Remain
In the current rendition’s
Revisionist page

No longer perturbed,
Or concerned with
Malfunction
Devices
Who could
Replace luxury goods
At these prices?
Just question their uses
If ever I needed it
Really
Or just
Couldn’t live without its
Mostly gathering dust
Obsolescence
Intended
So much I expended
In money,
In energy,
Times I attempted
Rebooting
The frozen screen
Only concluding
Inept with this tech  
Not exactly computing
With my disconnect
From the world’s
Troubleshooting

She’d have to be
Close to
Perfection
To settle
The subtle,
Befuddling,
Fluttering
Stutter
All cluttered
In shortness of words
That I struggle
To utter
Some other subconsciousness
Unbeknownst lover
Discovered at just the right
Least expect moment
I let down my guard
And on her
Only focus
Like when
The end-seeking
What you never find
Enters into your life
Like a chill  
Down the spine
She would have to be into
My mind
But not mine
Wouldn’t want her submission
Just someone to listen
And kiss me
For simply
Existing
Sometimes

Sometimes
When I’m reading through
Old history
Messages that I sent to you
I can’t believe
That you’d ever amuse,
Humor me
In my lunacy
Barely coherent
On tangents
I’m off again
Just to sound smart,
Win your heart
And be off again
On some unyielding
Crusade to make sense of you
Next to
The rest of the world
And all I could do
With or without you
Within it
Provide for you
Constant adventure’s
Amenity
Pleasantry,
Wisdom
And insight
I felt
Kept you next to me
When anywhere
Else but my side
Would be
What I think would be best
For the you
And the me

Math is just
Infinitude
Of numbers
And equations
No one wants
And no one needs
Until the alien invasions
Leave its stringy theories
Tangled
In another quantum zone
As they incessantly perplex
And vex
My x equals unknown
And though I add,
Subtract,
And multiply,
Divide
I just can not abide
By geometric principles
Misshaping my
Befuddled mind
Despite the fact  
They tie together
Everything
We make believe
Is probable
To e mc
And make us see
All calculations
Possible

I had barely set foot
Out the door
Before
There
I was back at it
After I ran
Through the air
Like a time flying clock
Through where does it all go
Comes and goes
Is just flowing
From highs
Into lows
But the point is
It shifts
From awoken to sleeping,
From morning to evening,
From life on repeating
Without even skipping
A beat
In this fleeting,
Unchanging,
Yet aging phase
Pacing
Myself for a race
In which participating
Is days wasted chasing
Some prize at the end
That I know
Upon winning it
Doesn’t depend

When you start to see
Predator faces
In trees
And inhabited spaces
Comprise only speech
And the shapes
Undulating
In patterns,
The breeze
Emanating
From some
Indiscernible source
Resonating
Its serenade
Altered discourse
Ambulating
Like tabula rasa
First steps
I have taken
Into the precarious
Premeditated  
Subconsciously
Mind
Is a blender of bliss
In a time-warping whirlpool
Apotheosis
Then eye do believe why
Me myself
We and I
Is a lie
And the truth
Is as nebulous
Clouds in the sky
Coalescing
As all
Into one  
God’s disguise

I look back
And wish
It was different
Than this
I don’t want to be old
And alone
Gettin’ ******
At the slightest
Disturbance
Of my peace of mind
By the simpletons
Not seeing my
Eye to eye
When the weather is weird
And bizarre
Is the word
I would use
To describe it all
First
But perhaps
Not the perfect
Conversing
Immersed
More in only more
Mine
Kind of **** to deal with
Since it’s news to me
Cared to share
Its
Acid trip

Can only
Return
To inspired
So seldom
We grow old
Withhold
What we feel
Is unwelcome
To others
We may
Trust the most
Confidantes
Who most likely desire
What nobody wants
To impart,
Or apprise,
Or describe
Candidly
When for free
It is offered
So off-handedly
By the back-handed,
Off the cuff,
Tongue in cheek
Flattery
Frenemies cattily
Cat-calling
Blabbing spree
You find amusing
And humorous
Yes?
I guess besties
Just really means
Who wore it best
But at least reflects
Some attempt
Semblance
Expressed
Of two people
As fake
As the real world
Can get

Still wreckless as any
Top speeder
Still racin’
Their wasted time
Pitying
Other’s temptations
And breakin’
More laws
Than the bones
To pick with it
Intrinsic injustice
Inclined to resist it
And minding my own
Business
Seems like a chore
When I know keeping peace
Often looks more like war

Always open
To that notion
The what if
The water
Was drained
From the ocean
I picture some skeletal
Coral remains
Desiccated earth core
Still suspended in space
And the people would gaze
Peering out
Over edges
Of islands still standing
As skyward peak ledges
And coastal shelf
Rifts
Overlooking a chasm
Or gradual shifts
In the tectonic spasm
The treasures uncovered
Where secrets
Once dwelled
In the fathomless depths
Would be priceless
To sell
Yet compelling
Intrepid adventurers
Down
All the same
To the bowels of hell

A better day
I’ve yet to have
At least I can’t remember
One so next to perfect
Worth this verse’s
Precious time together  
We’re reminded
Of serenity
As visually
Majestic
Self-expression
As organic
As the life
In every deathless
Reconnection
To the nexus level
Sentience
And the senses
Stimulated
In my porous
Painted brain
So inundated
By the crazy waves
Of undulation
Circling back around
To where the branches
Breach the ether
And the roots beneath the ground
Don’t make a sound
As we grow deeper
Into ties that bind
Unbound

Then you bring it back
Like some lost,
Alone
Omen
The that’s all folks
Crowd
Settles down
For the showman
And no man
Would step to me
Showing
Or going
Just so and so
Showboating
Bloviate,
Blowin’ hate
On some sic ****
With this nation is great
As they’re making me wait
For my life
On the line
And they keep feeding me
That weird **** on the side
And just biding their time
Till I finally die
Buying
Bye bye bye
Viruses
Crying wolf
Crises
And ISIS is still out there
Deep
In the silences

Still making me crazy
Like Russia’s
Deep spacey
Deep state’s
Deepest shade
Of the moment
It owned
Its disown
The charade
And it blade
Adieu
To
The rich few
Who the feud
Really fueled
As they ruled us like ghouls
Of some false idol’s tools

I unlocked more of love
All alone in a cave
Than you ever have
Chained
As some heartbreaker’s slave
But I still think of you
All alone in the gloom
And I crave of your flesh
As it makes me protrude
Like an unaccept
Ogre
Awaiting regret
And the nothing
I want to do
Full of regret

Still apart from you
Down
All apart from me
Frowning
All I need
You is now
All I‘ve known you
Is how
She could ever submit
To me down on me quitting
My leave time is now
And I know
She’d just frown
To imagine me drowning
Believing the now

Was just demons
Of doubting