Lacking that quality
Quantity
Haunting me
Won’t let me sleep
It just instigates
Tauntingly
Forcing me back
To the drawing board
Bland
Staring blankly ahead
With a pen in my hand
It just has to be moved,
Be expressed,
Be expelled
All attempts at rebellion
Are ruthlessly quelled
For I've spelled it out
Countless times,
Infinite ways
It still beckons me back
To the halcyon days
Or the tragic,
Traumatic
Past, revisitation
What’s one more
To add to
Its zero summation

Not one thing
Another
Will make itself known,
Instigate
Aggravate me
Unstable my home
It’s the can’t find a job
Or the wifi won’t work
Undesirable traits
Of my roommates
That irk
And the dread of course
Lurking
Implacable
Discontent
In perpetuity
Renders me impotent
Broken, don’t fix it
I can’t even implement
Simple solutions
To ongoing quandaries
Life cycle spun out
To dry
***** laundry

Could use fewer words
To appeal to the senses
The ethos, the logos,
The pathos
Pretenses
By mentioning less
What it seems to suggest,
How you’re meant to interpret
These feelings expressed

Change it
Save it
Claim it
You name it
I’ve been there
I’ve done it
And still can’t retain it
For after all
Valiant
Effort exhausted
The impact you made
Is outweighed
By its losses
No capital gains
Can account
For corruption
The gradual,
Casual,
Natural destruction
As more digitized
Status symbol
Numerics
Become the mind-numbing
Drone bumblebee
Clerics

Disconnected
Let it set in
Icy silence
And disdain
But you’re forgetting
Who keeps roofs atop
Your drowning in the rain
Go on believing
Shelter simply is
A promise you can break
And with your sideshow
Succubi, belie
The happiness you fake
I’m done pretending,
Over chasing,
Finished clinging
To delusion
Just return to me what’s owed
Before it’s more than games you’re losing

This is Life
Need I remind you
Yet again to flick the switch
And kick the wicked witch’s
Fix, not an addiction
Just a *****
You can’t resist
So go on wishy-washing,
Claiming its depression
Let them crocodile tears
Keep shedding
Serpentine confession

It’s your precious time,
Not mine
And it’s your poor
Productive mind
To waste
On Disney’s ***** dream
Your full potential
All amounts to
Getting on your knees to clean
All but your act,
Because you lack
The courage
To confront the fact
There is no god of yours
Except when I
Demand you pay it back

In spartan conditions
Inured to privation
In bountiful plenty
I opt for starvation
Been waiting on angels
To cradle my grave
Like a craven
Still craving
A lover to save
Me from clutches of loss
And the jaws of defeat
From the dissatisfaction
Pursuing elite
Living standards
Can’t stand
To compare
My despair
With their lucrative lassitude
Classist career
If I wanted it genuine
I’d disappear
Yet again
Go pretend,
That I can
Belong here
There was no place for me
Since I crawled from the ooze
And confused
Evolution
With gods it alludes to

Good to feel good again
Spoken word stimulant
Working with like-minded
Active participants
Perks of the job include
Shorter commute,
Better pay
And I may
Even really be liked
Be appreciated
For the works that I write
That I type
That I scribe
To assist
With the ongoing struggle
To end homelessness

On I’ve gone
Sifting through
Shuffled few songs  
Still embedding myself
Where I do not belong
As if I were expecting
The same to bring change
Others finding me strange
Former lovers estranged
And my brain
Not so painful
To use anymore
I just can’t seem to stop
Seeking peace
Where there’s war

Thus ends my journey
Some evil dies young
When exhausted all words
To convey how I’ve hung
From a rope of indifference
To life
For too long
Barely kicking,
Just dangling,
Suspended in song
Elegiac, I wish
Just constricting
My throat
Squirming vertically,
Gurgling,
In anguish I choke
On another addition
To suicide note
That I wrote
Multitudinous ways
To escape
But my finest
Is yet to come
Just sit and wait

My morbid elegy
Drenched in sincerity
Steal me away
In the night
And pretend with me
Play one more
Round this world game
Revolution
Return to me
Having applied
The solution
To share what you found
But not bound to me
Lover
Possessed by you solely
In yet to discover
What aspects
And facets
You still keep concealed
What bemusing
Infusions of us
Would reveal
If it works
If it sees itself
Having in common
More than a just cause
And a living off ramen

I’m easy to talk to
Or so
They might say
If I spoke
As I wrote
My awoken cliché
List of grievances
Seething with
Fury inveighed
A melodious
Medley
Relentless tirade
But the vehemence
Meaningless
Cannot prevail
Without targeting
Enemies
Too big to fail
So continue to rouse
Rabble ruffians
Huffing
And puffing,
And stuffing,
Their pockets with nothing
But broken home
Hopeless
Promissory notes
And peremptory
Purchasing powerless
Votes
I prefer the immersion
In mobs of unruly
And still punish pigs
With unusual cruelty

Defaulting to scarcity
Desert conditions
Inured to abject
Desperation
Submissions
In sheer deprivation
I take
What I get,
What I find,
What is offered,
Except
My position within
Hierarchical food chains
Of daily grow thin
Until sources of plenty
From paucity catch
The enhanced sense of smell
And await me to ******
In my jaws
Taking back
The predation skill
Killer instinctive
I lack

Might of the billions
Igniting the legacy
Flooding your homes
And disowning hegemony
Sleeping
And feasting
Completing the sequence
In all the enrapture
Contraptions
I frequent
Complete with
An arsenal,
Cache of collectives
And weapons of unwieldy
Leftists eclectic
Directives from bottom up
Terraform sound
I will echo through chambers
Eternity-bound
Like a movie star shadow’s
Imploding career
Like the wife and two kid’s guy’s
Addiction to beer
I appear to the proud,
The complacent,
The waste
When disposing of class
They assume that its race
That I run around here
Like some placeholder king
I am but
The sheers severing
Puppets from strings

Everyone just wants to fight,
Even now the poodles bite
Tread lightly
Choose your words
With care
The thought police
Are everywhere
When even hair
Can spark debate
More pressing issues
Have to wait
Until the confirmation
Bias
Echo chambering
The virus
Reaffirms
The anti-vaxing
Mask
To wear
Is not so taxing
Casting news
For your amuse
Hot-buttons pushed
To light the fuse
Of you
And your
Subjective truth
6 second talking point
Is moot
And muted by
Refuse to listen
Fact itself
A work of fiction

Individualist
How you struggle
To coexist
Think yourself
Central
Essential to function
On doses of daily
Devoid of compunction
For lives you have taken,
Time wasted
Encased
In a prism
Reflection
Of cannot relate
To the late
Combined effort,
Collective potential,
Conceptual framework
Of change incremental
Can’t wait for too long
For the others to care
So you tower away
As you let down you hair
But beware
In the dark
We still muse
Of amassing
Within echo chambers
Of poison gas
Masking

Plague pervades
In your trans mission  
Whole world burns
In my ignition
****** crows
Have unbecoming
Portents of
A malice mumbling
Numbing
Death is sweeter whence
The senses drenched
In effulgence
Where victory still stains my blade
In history’s
Enslavement trade
And bade the vanquished
Anecdotal
Frozen shadows
Of Chernobyl
Therein lies
Perfection’s ruin
Too much idealizing
Human
Idolizing idle tyrants
Prone to thrones
Imposing violence
Silent in the face
Of doom
I am the sickle’s sonic boom
This is my voice of treason’s
Tomb

That further from her
Feeling grows everyday
At the edge of the land
Masses sinking away
We would watch the tides rise
And envelop horizons
Advise them to see it
On more psilocybins
Imbibe culture rich
Criticizing its glitch
And combine our diversities
Into this niche
We would thrive for all time
Within withering woe
Oh I guess only me
Wanted that deep to go

Assume I was
Already gone
Or more clearly
Appeared to you
Never again
As I nearly
Perfected the image
Envisioned
Sincerely
But seldom signed off
As beloved
As dearly

Blame it all
On me,
As if I intended
To selfishly make
Only my problems ended
With what minor setback
Comes daily, but free
Hidden fees set aside
To preserve harmony
But it’s never quite good enough,
Laugh in my face
When I seek a solution
You try to debase
The shared space
I facilitate,
Foster,
Preserve
The respect you don’t show me
But I still deserve

Upticks in attention,
Transmission statistics
Explicit suggestions
Of ****** wish lists
Been busy today
Grinding green is go
Slow
Don’t weigh down
On the pedal
To metal
Oh no
Now the crash
Overworked
Underfed
I dream more
When awake
Than I do in my bed

Occupy my time
With the grind
Don’t want it for the fortune
Nor the fame
I would decline
No notoriety
Accompanies
Such thankless
Entry level
New positions for myself
Within the status updates
Revel
See for me
It all comes down to
What corroborates my class
That education
Means you make it
Means you fake it
Till it lasts

Still running away
Like a fugitive slave
From your capital paradise
Digging my grave
Be it edible poison
Or poisonous drink
Be it 9 to 5 nightmares
Still pushed to the brink
We all synchronize
Sheepishly
Safe and secure
Entertained
And brain-drained
In another lost war

But what does it matter
Just climbing the ladder
And taking the chutes
Down in cyclical
Rhythm
Reliving reboots
Just as lacking in luster
As any film screen
Just attempting to find
The right priced
Magic bean
But get swindled and conned
By my own
Inner monologue
Clogging up space
With my brain in a vat
And my memory erased
Just in case
She appears in its
Crash and burn wake
And then any fresh start
Is another heartbreak

In candor I come to you
Totally honest
Philandering days
Are behind me
I promise
Can finally be
The real me
That you wanted
And face up to all of my demons
Undaunted
For long have you haunted me
Don’t go away
And the spectral lament
Is what I didn’t say
Or compose to you
Wholly
In signature cipher
Another farewell
That you couldn’t decipher

Take your best shot
I’ll await the sales pitch
But a purchase for me
Is a matrices’ glitch
And unless it reads
Resting witch face
On the shades
You can count me out,
Just browsing…
Maybe some trades
If you’re open to bartering,
Make me an offer,
Actually,
Just leave
The keys
To the coffer

Keep to myself
No one else
Understands
What goes on in my head
And the thought it demands
To maintain equanimity
Synergy with
The divisive,
Conflictual  
Other me rift
Still adrift
Doesn’t want to be found
Or befriended,
Coerced into making his family
Extended
Would rather end such
A delusional journey
With no lessons learned
Except I was unworthy
Of love,
Happiness,
A career,
And a home
Just abandoned all hope
And embraced die alone

Did you really think
Making it
Finding it
Easy
Just comes to you naturally
Gifted from god
But remember
You’re out here
Exposing the fraud
Not applauding the fake
Till you make it
Free trade
See right through
The duplicitous
Profit charade
Under guises
Devising
Their statement of mission
Proselytization
New world
Imposition
Of ordered
Conforming
Adhere
And obey
I remain the untamed
Feral dog day
Astray

Self-induced ego boost
Write me a line
Reassure me
I’m meant to be
Flawed by design
Not deficiency,
Defect,
Disorder,
Distortion
Of problems unsolved
And blown out of proportion
Too often with me
I get tangled in dread
Inundated with angst
And then wish I was dead
So remind me
Alive
Still has reason to care
And apparently
Still
To keep dreaming
Will dare

If it comes to
The crumbs
Boring holes into boxes
And slipping away
Undetected
Then toxins
Are all it will take
To be rid of me
Finally
Just like the vermin
Exterminate
Quietly

Was I somebody
Or somebody’s pawn?
Just a piece in a game
Making moves
Moving on
Now it’s gone
Either way
The potential career
The commute,
The computing
White collar veneer
The appearance of wealth,
Status boost,
Middle class
Just delusions of grandeur’s
Next vanity mask
But I wanted it
Fond of its
Ease and convenience
So much I romanticized
Crowning achievements
Would seamlessly
Elevate me
To positions
Where fullest potential
Ambitions
Envisioned
Perfection expected
Realistically proven
But failure again
Pens the bitter conclusion

Does everyone
Wandering in
My direction
Provide me a reason
For more self-reflection
A lesson,
A reason,
Was this meant to be
Fail to see
How it all happens
Naturally

Failure still clings to me
Brings me
Downtrodden
By a deluge of self-pity
Patterns am sodden
Like just when I’ve nearly
Transcended the summit
I slip and instead
Into rock bottom
Plummet
Come climbing again
Under breath
Mutter curses
The boulder I roll up the *****
Is these verses
Reversals of fortune
Are my second nature
Ingratiated
To the ill omen stranger  
Familiar has it become
Plotting
And scheming
Untimely demises
Of childish dreaming
Refusing to let me
Succeed,
Persevere
I fear all I will ever
Amount to
Is clear
Just a good for not
Spot
On forgotten,
Unknown,
Unfulfilled,
Unaccomplished,
And dying alone

Searching for
Edification
Relation
Not only
Have so much in common
Elation
I guarantee you and I
Aren’t so similar
Maybe I’m salt
And you taste more like vinegar
But
Just because
They go great
When together
Does not mean they should be
Tongue-tipping forever

Whole world is burning
And I just got fired
When did I become
Prone to failing
And mired
In following orders
To still no avail,
For surely some side effects
By compare
Pale
To this ghastly affliction
Still plaguing me thus
I am just
Never good enough
To the side brushed
Like the dust in the wind
Except worth even less
When I clean up my act
I just make a worse mess
Of performances
Albeit standards are high
And at times seem impossible
Why even try

Go back to
The only known place
You were raised in
From living so long
Out beyond
Deprivation
Of homeliness sentiment
Homelessness tenement
Sleep in the sediment
Weather is inclement
Never the sun
In the sky
When you need it,
Just
Overcasted out
Reasons to leave it

Ensnare with my arrogant hair
Barren gorgons
And arid wastelands,
Robber barons,
And Mormons
Alike
And still stormin’
The shores,
Waging wars
Then awaiting the swarm in...
Ignoring the warnings,
Invade any brain draining
Third world conforming
To get back on track,
On the road,
To the beacon
The opportune nest,
Restive garden of Eden
Distribute it evenly,
Plunder its troves,
Then enrichment,
Conscripting
Its voters in droves
I convince the invincible
Youth to support us,
And bury the gentry
Who choose to abort us
Beneath what their legacy
Formerly claimed
A hegemony over
The soldiers enchained
‘Gotta cavalry charge
Of the labor force
Horses
And infantry drones
Who have grown so remorseless
So prone to divorces
Their arguments formed
In a silence’s moment
When omens of showmans
Class clash
Is the act
I remind the fine-diners
Of how to react
To the change
They don’t want
To result from the bill
Like hypocrisy
Eats,
But can’t stomach the ****

What claimants
In vain
Challenge my
Right to reign
Over pages’
Precipitous,
Outpouring pain
You’re in my domain now
So sit back
And shut up
And just simply stop reading
When you’ve had enough

And how do you plan
For the end of the world
Hold the ones
Dearest near you
Embrace the undying
No fear
Just adhere to
The deathless defying
For never were we
Even here
To begin with
And back to the same
Non-existence
Relinquish
Illusions so long
Our identities formed
In anarchical nothingness
Shall be reborn

Look a bit deeper
Allow it to settle
Keep delving down further
Keep testing your mettle
For some day soon
Chances to prove it
Ensue
But may lose you
Could pass you right by
Never knew
Your potential
Intrinsically
No more,
No less consequential
Than hundreds of
Millions untold
Lifeless stories
You had all these dreams,
Aspirations,
But worries
Seemed always
To permeate floodgates
Of keep the gray days away
Dreadful at bay
Let it get to you,
Get you down,
In that state
Stay

Bury it now
After nights of conversing
The warning signs
Clearly laid out
In immersing
Yourself
In a cyclical
Mute repetition
Refute only what
Is unjustly
Contrition  
For we in our outpouring
White guilt and shame
Cannot take anymore
But still buy it the same

As if it mattered
Colored lives
When nothing in the world
Survives
She’s taken
Great
At this rate I
Have only stake in
Yet to die
No reason to report
To work
To have the boss
Impugn my worth
Incentive’s solely
Meager pay
Misplaced ambition
Power play
Some day I could be
In control
But don’t get fired
Is my goal
For now
And patiently preside
Over the wasted,
Bided time
Until she stands
And cracks a smile,
Asks to use
Some stupid file
All the while
Unrequited
How she makes me feel
Ignited

Vile urchin
Always searching
Never seems
To know
Himself
Cant play the hand of cards
He’s dealt
Everyone else
Is unaware
How garish fanfare
Everywhere
Spares no expense
To steal their minds
As his just constantly
Rewinds

Stay the same
Let me learn
In burning
Let me turn
Insane
In vain discerning
Love is made
Where none now dare
To enter pain
I see her smiling
At me
Widely
Wildly gleaming
In her eyes
Betrays she might
Assume disguise
To try me on for size
Fits all
To please her
Beckon call

Trusted
Can you be
Not some day
Disgusted
By who me
Is currently
Trying to
**** with
How long before you
Growing old
Place the blame
On the gray
Eats your face away,
Love me the same?
Could you still
Find a pill
That would will it to power,
Coax me from the shell
When I’m tepid and dour
As I become
Who I can’t hide anymore
The two facets,
A *******’s
Pacifist
Casket
Denotes composition
Of journalist dissidence
Thought that was your job
Then how did it get to this?
Lack of communicative
Former kids
In idyllic
Umbilical cords
Severed from
What the last plane attached them to
Back to you come

Goodnight to
The rest of the world
As it wakes
The earthquakes
Somewhere far
From what stake
I have left in it
Anymore
None left to gamble
I placed my faith
Too long
In peoples’
Preambles
To flawed constitutions
Consistently
Riddled
With holes in the plot
And foundations of brittle
Collapsing,
En massing,
Unrest in the streets
With the corners
And shadows
No scraps left to eat
An effete
Feeble tenuous
State
Disingenuous
Promises make
Us look more
Like the terrorists

Should get back to writing
Now quiet
The mind
But instead
I make boisterous
Tumults inside
There’s no way
She’s not taken
Don’t even try
Save it
For some other
One in a billion
Vicissitudes
Pass through my life
And expect me not
To confuse
Fate with coincidence
Once again
Increments
Come and they go
What remains
Is eventually I
Start all over
A gains

These national
Rations
Don’t cut it for me
So I take my fair share
Indiscriminately
It gets dim in here
Sometimes
But moonlighting in
Is the ravenous
Werewolf
At home in his skin
As the rest of flesh
Crawls
At the crack of his grin
In the back of his grimacing mind
Pulls the pin
And explodes ego overloads
Headiest spin
Still forewarned
Have the vanquished
In desperation
Formed against him,
A last ditch’s
Coalition

But have failed
Every time
Tried to match his travails
With a pales in comparison
Devil details
Get the gist?
His hiss kisses
With stone cold abyss
He’s the nail in the wrist
Of your Christmas wish list
And he first gave the Satyr
The paper to burn
And he first tabled
Time revolutions
A turn

As you gawked
At flaw-stricken
Bird paradise feathers
He tinkered
With weather
To build you an ark
And when questioned
His genius
Just witty remarks
I’m the sleight of hand,
Smoking gun,
Shot in the dark
I’m The Engels
Revved engines,
Red vengeance of Marx  
And still shark any bullet
With frenzied
Aggression
Then just as swift
Teach you
Its history lesson

Push me to the brink
Deprive me
Mired in despondence
Drive me
Mad with grief,
Forlorn,
Rejected
Feed me nothing
But regressive
Failure
Cast me out
Alone,
Bury me
Away
Unknown
Forget I ever lived
At all
Delete
The writing on the wall
In shadows of
This urban sprawl
Resourcefully
To bed I crawl
And ever wake
Another day
Adapting to
The disarray
As if some kind
Of wild creature
Streamlining
My body
Sleeker
Weak at times
But mark my words
If need be I devour herds
Then seeking my next meal
Reveal
The rest
As hungry
As I feel

At this point
I’d settle
For cliché rose petals
Still plucked and discarded
For wine bottle revels
In nights we spend days
Barely seeing each other
The difference it makes
Is estrangement as lovers
But I have still yet to uncover
The veil
When I try to discover
What’s under
I fail
To see why
We so gallantly,
Typically,
Think we must strive
To prove all of mankind
Is affirmed
By a bride

When reaching the brink
Take a step back and stare
At the rest of the world
To remind me to care
A bit less
About frivolous nonsense at work
One more email detail
That I miss
Isn’t worth
The discouraged,
Demoralized,
Downright
Defeatist
Default to disdain
For these office elitists
When it
Isn’t perfectly preened,
Polished etiquette
Judgment and drudgery
Dress-rehearsed rhetoric
Better yet
Let me explain
My mistakes
At a pace
All too hasty
And cutting the brakes
On the full speed ahead
Destination soon dead
And the tire treads’
Only distraction
Is dread
That I’m digging my grave
Where I’m building my home,
That I’m going in circles
Where I used to roam