Farther down
Than ever
I have ventured in
Uncertain
Unaware I was becoming
But an agent
Of subversion
So averse
To any orders
But abide by natural law
And only broken on
The impact
Of my fatal
Tragic flaw

Running so far
And hard
Hitting the trenches so hard
For a living
In service
To purposeless
Since the beginning
By practically
Shaping
Ideas into forms
Gone as I
Can surmise
Was the source
Of her scorn
Wounds will not cauterize
When one actively healing
The other
Bleeds out
Every ounce of sincerity
Cannot amount
To apology
Eulogy
Ever my words
Have meant but
Incredulity
Like singing birds
Go unheard
Nothing new to me
In the ensuing
Routinely
Bombarding
Accruing
The losses
And with them
Departing
The battlefield
Having secured
Lasting peace
In which horrors of war
Can so restlessly sleep

Somewhere
Along the way
Became the man
From once the boy
Not in an instant
But a litmus
Test
His limits
Could destroy
And what he saw
Not what he conquered
What he squandered
All the time
For he observed it
Then reverberated
Learning
To define
What constitutes
His attributes
As archetypically
Adult
And what refutes
His stance
And stature
As the leader
Of some cult

Measured
In merely
The fruits of his labor
And deeply embossed
In his cross my
Engraves her
For only on
Standards
Of what he provides
Will she teach him
To share
What his steely nerve
Hides
What divides them
This time
Is his task
To abridge
And embrace her again
Overlooking the ridge
Only there
Where he goes
For her
Over
And over her
Onward
Again
To the void
Ventures in
Then he finds him the one
That gets under his skin
But illuminates
Permeates
Every synapse
In her absence
The vacuousness
A relapse

Wish you would come
Back to bed
But I know
Had it stayed in my head
I’d be out in the snow
And we’d only grow further
Apart
In distrust
And we’d let our bones fade
By themselves
Into dust
So I only intend
To prevent bitter ends
For what’s merely temptation
Could never suspend
The impending
Foreboding
Without you
Portends

Now she is fantasies
Sanity’s
Banish me
Vanish in
All the words left
I could panic in
All culminating
In one disrepair
How ungainly the weight
Of the burdens I bear
Could successes equate
Into failures I wear
Into depths I could barely
Escape from my lair
If she’s not
Everywhere
In my sight
And my mind
And she turns back
To look in my eyes
One more time

What I
Cannot take
To the grave
‘Lest it later
Unearth
What I swept
In the cave
What confessed
Unexpressed
I forget
To address
And regret
Resumes reaping
My restless
Decay
And by day
Drone away
In the silence’s gray
When inevitably
I destroy something else
For a long time ago
Did the same
To myself
And continued
To reinvent
New and improved
Ways of ending
What other lives
Need be removed
But still failed
To conclude
That to do so
Consistently
Makes you unmoor
From the anchor amor
‘Till she walked out the door