Once again having
Its day
Is the youth
If they lie to themselves
They won’t tell us
The truth
But they will
Obfuscate
And conceal
And withhold
Information
And earnings
And rights to your soul
Lest you let it grow old
At their rate
Turning gray
In their comfort
Conformity’s
Naïveté

Knowing my uses
Are few
Loosened
Nooses
Reclusive
At home
In the shadow
Seduces
Before I can even
But hope
To resist it
Commit to escaping
The paradigm
Shifted
Adrift
I’ve repeated it
Various ways
Rhymed astray
With another
Same ****
Different day
And replayed
All the worst case
Scenarios
Possible,
Plausible
Some
Imminently
Unstoppable
Come
Let me show you
The ones
Become real
And what’s left in the wake
Of the latest
Fate sealed

That’s what I call it
Alone
Through the night
When sedation
Persuasions
Still fail me
Despite
What I write
Weary eyes
Concentrate
On the page
How to lay it to rest
From the rest
Disengage
From this cage
Of fixation
Obsession
Incessant
Clock ticks
In the midst
Of my listless
Depressant

What this is
You’re dealing with
Emotions
Are no incident
But what you are
Cannot be changed
Cannot be snipped
And rearranged
Cannot be plainly
Simply
Gone
But can’t be right
To deem it wrong
If I have not
Been sliced by steel
And not been given
Time to heal
To feel
That this is truly me
Transitioning
Androgyny

Much has been lost
Has been wasted
In vain
Have I granted
More former
Engagements
A claim
Have I harbored
More harbingers
Of my demise
Was I born
Have I worn
This whole time
A disguise
Was I really there
With her
Do I awake
Days
Have unnervingly
Quickened
Their pace  
I’m afraid
That it goes
All for not
But our scars
And tattoos
As our bones
Feed the earth
And the life it renews

Maladies
I have a myriad
Period
Free will
Dystopian
Broken
No hope again
Basically
Sad by default
Feeling sick
Of existing
To quicken the pace
I submit
To an overlord
Order
I staunchly oppose
I’d force open
The border
But let the doors
Close
And can’t help
But adore her
As I decompose
Finding some last
Delusional
Semblance
Of purpose
In work
In abstractions
Attempts to
Convert this
Innate worthlessness
To constructively
Gained
From my fate at its terminus
Publicly
Hanged

Senescence in dissonance
Vanishing empathy
Shadow peripheries
Routine
Is sanctity
Memory
Failing me
Try as I might
To prevail
Something ailing me
Veiled
In impermanence
Desperate to last
As if rest of our lives
Before eyes
Hasn’t flashed
Past already
It’s heavy
The burden of knowing
The growing pain
Slows
When you cease
Undergoing
Imperative change
To the honeymoon
Phase
And with one simple phrase
Until death’s
How it stays