What divinities
Beckon me
This time
Enchanted
Enraged consciousness
In a shell of
Recanted
Positions all formerly
Formative
Certain
Result in this normal
Pejorative
Version
This boring
Embittered
Automaton
Person
More callous
More crass
Far less likely
To help
Unless it
Can enrich
My immortalized
Self

******
In my loneliest sorrow
Foreboding
Yet for
Her I do
Know I have to keep going

Atoned
For my failing
My feeling
Like ****
By unmaking myself
More becomingly numb

Then disowned
But immersed
In material worlds
In my alienation
Recounting the girls

I bemoaned
Of my heartache
Uniquely
Distinct
As if no other lovers
Expressively inked

Their enthroned
In eternal
Forevers unfolding
Just finally found mine
In her close to me
Holding

You’d think by now
I’d overcome
My undoing
Reclusive
Obtuse
Of no use
Just consuming
Indulgently,
Carelessly,
Selfishly
Sating
My lust
For the never enough
Stuff I’m craving
But they could all watch me
To no end devour
Avert their gaze
Flee from my gaping jaws
Cower
Before my voracious
Most wasteful
Disdain
In its hungry indifference
Treats them
All the same

The sickness of society
Itself
The impropriety
The clock
Tik-tok’ng
Virally
The world reacting
Violently
Too long repressed
This side of me
Pretenses
Prone
To primacy
Eventually
Become the norm
Undo the instinct
To conform
That comes from this
Excessive culture
Dog eat dog
Consumer vulture
Law and order’s
Infrastructure
Ruptured like
A housing bubble
Hospitals
Reduced to rubble
And beneath
The tons of toxins
Still our self-destruction
Blossoms
Love and hate’s
Unnatural state
Of unions we cannot
Equate

I’ll always be
The quiet kid
Internal wild
Riot kid
So long within
The shadows hid
Unto my fallen graces
Bid
A long farewell
To adolescence
Yet preserved
Its youth
Quintessence
Fully formed,
Matured
And grown
Up in a world
I can’t condone
And so condemned
To walk alone
Along across
Its vast unknown
I’ve shown beneath the surface
Seldom
More than what is
Most unwelcome
This
Needless to say
In writing
What I’d rather
Be inciting

****** expressions
And micro-aggressions
Connections,
Perceptions
And lasting impressions
Still can’t comprehensively
Summarize
Talk
Just communicate
What we
So seemingly
Sought

Edge of the world again
Jumping back into
A despondent sea
For eventually
Everything ends
With my misery
Close to sustaining
In totality
What just years ago
Seemed
Inconceivably
Distant
Attained,
Reified,
Redefined
Self-sufficient
To then see
Dependency
Forming
Between
I can’t live without you
Can’t make love
To a screen