I am the imminent
Detriment
Human,
The eat the rich
Feed the poor
Final solution
Delusions of grandeur
Commanded
Beside
Shadow valleys
And alleyways
No place to hide
Nor a refuge
Awaiting
My ego escape
Just the alternate one
That looks good in his cape
And the gaping vast maw
Of the void opens wide
And there’s no place to run
And still fewer to hide
Now coerced to confront
Its indulge affirmations
Its many minds,
Many lives,
Infinite faces
I still play the game
And claim victory
Seamlessly
Seizing my darkest desires
Since infancy
Infamy,
Outcast,
Pariah
Expelled
And despite how deep into
The distance
I meld
There is no sanctuary
In which I confide
The unspoken
More vocal
Than no place to hide

Is this why I do
What I picture
Undone
Why internalized voices
All rolled into one
Like a gun to the temple
Corroding the psyche
Gets triggered in silence
Appearing unsightly
Unloading its violence
In public now
No chance
I’ll ever come quietly
Not so politely
Conveying anxiety
Try as I might
To cast doubt
And aspersion
There’s something unspeakably
Sinister
Lurking
And surfacing
So close
To breaking the skin
Is its
Solace in madness’s
Most aloof grin

Had it all figured out
On my way up
From way down
Commitments to change
Into willingly bound
Just to meet unforeseen
Redirection
Temptation
Throw it
All away
On a whim’s
Inclination
In case it should vacate
Holistic embraces
The pieces all present
But in the wrong places
Or forced into place
Where they do not belong
Now it’s stuck in my head
Like some kind of love song

Dusk settles in
On my grimmest despair
Of my guilty subconscious
I’m all too aware
Too fixated on quelling
The faith reservations
Uproarious tirade
Of self-confrontations
At war with
Internal conformist
Resent
I nocturnally wander
The wastes of lament
Not enough for
My suffering’s
Love hesitant
But sincere
What I actually feel
Is content

Know just where to sit
Bring the fringes to me
And then centralize
All of it
Cable TV
And no thanks
I’ve got plenty
Of drugs to have fun
But still innovate
Later than
Never been done
I’ve been one with
Euphoria’s
Relative
Masses
Organically
Championed
It in my classes
The last of us
Wary
There is no escaping
This room
Or this tomb
Nor the gloom
Of heartbreaking
So listen
And learn
Then apply it painstakingly
Diligent
Increment
Progress ensues
When we talk to each other
About the issues

Friends lost forever
And families estranged
Does it go?
Does it turn?
Can it not stay the same?
I see holidays
More like malaise
And I hate it
Accustomed to work
When I once celebrated
Just stuck in my ways
Out of place
Aggravated
I never thought changes
Around me
Unwelcome
A pop culture reference
Exceedingly seldom
Confirmed understood
But I couldn’t care less
Retrospectively
Forward progress
Calculus

Embracing tonight
I feel lonely and pensive
I heard from my girl
But my home is so empty
Seems like a lot less
Than three years ago
Entered
Found purpose and cause
In the people I’ve mentored
A living,
A being,
A place to belong
A community
Hidden
Was here all along
And still part of it
Just at a distance
Transition
To next chapters
Elsewhere
Adventures unwritten