Wanted you
To be happiness
Be my way out of this
Indolence
Give me a reason to try
Be the song that I sing
Be the tears that I cry
When you’re gone
Hold you close
Keep you sheltered inside
In the nights I can’t see you
Or see you replied
I would strive
To keep strengthening you
Building me
To the man that I always knew
I’d proudly be
But this image
Contingent on you
For too long
And contentment
Dependent
On nothing is wrong
Never once
Not a moment
Of discord or strife
Not an ounce of the pain
We’ve been chained to in life
All too soon
Comes to be
Nothing more
Than illusion
In shambles,
In ruins,
In shattered conclusions
For perfect girl
Was the most damaged he’d met
And with worthless boy
They only drank to forget

Cease your dream
Wandering
Stagnant
Despondency
Go and forget her
Again in disharmony
Build yourself up
Expectation’s
Gradations
Diminished to ashes
Like self-immolations
And hatred invades
Mental illness pervades
And we wade through
The witch of us
Got the best grades
There’s still slaves
At these raves
And you’re trying to change me
Still people in chains
But you’re trying to save me
Reframe me in some
More idyllic potential
But I only bend
If this ****’s elemental
A level I’ve weathered
Like severed headstone
In empyrean storms
Never further from home
So prescribe,
Analyze,
Rectify
What is flawed
I’m a human conditioned
To be the outlawed
For my presence alone
Lingers on like a clue
And my resonance
Revenants
Still plot the coup

Valiant effort
Best attempt
Most often
Only yields
Lament
So I write again
Why try
To make some sense
Before we die
Regardless of how monumental
Were our triumphs
Or potential
All in time
Inconsequential
All will fade
Forgotten
Lost
No impact made
Equates the cost
Or justifies
A moment’s sorrow
Nor invigorates
Tomorrow  
Even if I wake
Begrudging
Walking dead
Dreadful curmudgeon  
Is what I’ll appear to be
Embrace the all-encompassed me

Decline the sky,
Embrace abysses
Where the squids
And whales
Do business
All the riches,
Plunder,
Spoils
Hell beneath us
Cracks and boils
Shores erode
Before my eyes
And deeper still
My shipwreck dives
Alive, but cold
I shiver in
The maelstrom’s
Unrelenting spin
It’s been so hard
To find the one
To bask beside
Beneath the sun
But kingdom comes
For me
No queen
Save for
My consort
Seven seas

She remains
But an image
Unreachable
Distance
The once again
Just the pen’s
Favorite for instants
Insistence on trying
Just seemingly fails
Every time
Love eludes
And unbalances scales
So confusing
How one day
Your path and hers cross
And the next
Couldn’t care less,
But I grieve the loss
And bereave the departed,
The fallen
Once fond
The no longer beside me,
The physically gone
Still remind me
Interminably
In eternity
I am the drifter
Through rifts in absurdity

Not getting younger
Insatiable hunger
I feel in my bones now
The calm before thunder
Increasing
Insouciance
Elusive girl still
Unattainable
Pain
I sustain
Like a skill
And she will
Appear often
Go silent for days
Lead me on
Like a guide
But I’m trapped in a maze
And the turns that I’m taking
Make two rights a wrong
But parochial focus
Is narrow and long
And exceedingly dim
Down the walls closing in
As my love-maker rusts
Like a man made of tin
Any win
Is a loss
More misfortunate
Cost
And upon my tombstone
The word “Nothing” embossed

Can’t make her
My only good reason
For waking
For finding some semblance
Of meaning
In taking
Too much of the earth
For illusion self-worth
And this lackluster prose
Devoid even of mirth
But she makes my day
Feel
More complete
And fulfilled
And with each message sent
Overjoyed
I am thrilled
To respond then await
Formulate a response
As I anticipate
The next ghosting
It haunts