Resurgent desire
Still spreading like cancer
I feel its entire
Eternal no answer
To why can’t it be
She responds when I want,
Is my picturesque
In distress
In my dreams haunt
So romantically
Fantasies
More than a memory
There when I need
Her bemusing serenity
Verbally
Lyrically
Muted in mystery
All of it
Mine
Dispossessed
But promissory
Nor to control
Just to pass away time
Before down in a hole
Or some contract to sign

Writing for someone
That’s not even there
Still add songs to her list
That I may never share
When she goes unresponsive
Not sure if she’s conscious
And lately
It feels like she’s fading
For good
I just want to reach out
But not sure if I should
For she wouldn’t
So comparably  
In me delight
Does not seemingly care
What I’m doing tonight
And despite all I’ve done for her
Leaves me in lurches
Just pondering plummets
From summits and perches
Desertion
Dissociates
Intimate friends
From potentially more
Than beginnings and ends

Increasingly distant
Don’t want to replace you
Just play you a song
As I long to embrace you
In case you were wondering,
So much as cared
I could share your depression
And bare it
Ensnared
For despair ever has been
The skin that I wear
But I shed it
And bled it
More dreadful than most
Then I fled
And I tread this whole rock
As a ghost
So to feel just as dead to you
Isn’t the pain
It’s still being alive
When you don’t feel the same

It should just be a piece
Not the puzzle
Complete
Of compatible’s
Precious stone,
Pressurized
Heat
But the beats
She uncovers
Keep pace with my stammer
And her ethos pounds
In my chest
Like a hammer
And sickle
In hand
She is reaping my keeping
No secrets,
Just weakness,
She sees it
She eats it
And sleeps like a baby
Goes dormant for days
Then volcanic erupts
In obsidian ways
And like diamonds from coal
My soul molded to lust
For her eyes
Oxidize
My last breathlessly
Rust

Could be finding her
Out there
A writer
But even
Can’t reach an agreement
On what it’s like seeing
Each other as lovers
Not like that for me
I just like to pick brains
Share ideas novelty
And can do so
Apart from
Attraction
The same
As I could
If I wanted you
Simple and plain

She reaches out
From out the void
All morning I
Was a
Schizoid
An epileptic shock
Ecstatic
Down the 101
Wreak havoc
Magic mushroom mania,
Deranged
Unchain
My crania
My brain became
Mind of its own
My twitching, tweaking
Finger bones
Conducting orchestral
Performance
Thee outlander
Looms enormous
See the shadows
Flee before its
Superego
Muse catharsis
Sunny days
Immersed in darkness
Bladin’ ‘til
He flips his lid
An off the grid
Arachnid kid

I still pen the end
In elusive conclusions
Await to be mated
To lovely illusions
Entombed in her absence
Submerged in the flows
But exhumed from sepulchers
Too grim to expose
So diverged from the path
She prefers it to go
And when she doesn’t answer
No more I need know
Just proceed to my ritual
Silence forlorn
Like she’s already dead
And I can
Never mourn
Just lament the unsaid
Full of dread
She cares not
All these songs in my head
But to play them
Forgot