Darkest kid
In a city of light
Saw the radiant prism in bloom
In the night
And I had all these crazy ideas
Influenced
By the ******-trope ghost’s
Lonely constituents
What composes the roses
Compels to despair
And what withers in wilting decay
Without care
See the forest for trees,
Fade away with the breeze
Petals coated in metal
Unsettled unease
How I shied from your touch
With sensation remaining
Vibrations sustained
In the ongoing raining
Was never intended to stretch to the sun
Just recede to the shadows
Of comfortably numb

These minimizing labels
There be pirates on these seas
And arming social revolution
Is in love with lunacies
Come in with tyrants,
Preaching violence
And enriching lesser clients
Privateers to privatizing
Water fronts to spread the virus
Be it powder wigs and kegs
Or kids with squids for their sea legs
It all submits before the rising
Of the bottom-feeding plebs
So call me leftist,
Call me liberal
I was born in the imperial
Ethereal imprisonment
The cargo hold’s
Bloodlust for gold’s
Dehumanized
Equivalent
A righty, if you write me
In genetics and supremacy
The strong, the weak
The idolized
And deified
Celebrity
But never on authority’s
Minority report
But indivisible as any individual
At court
And so I see the tribal fighting,
The internecine delighting
In the other side’s
Speechless demise
And stoke the reuniting

Done applying
Myself trying  
Feels a lot more like
I’m lying
To the still aspiring me
Determined not to merely be
Legitimately
Seek employment
Minimize
Reckless enjoyment
All for nothing comes of it  
I’m sick of it,
Just want to quit
Stop kidding,
Still pretending I
Was somehow meant for more
Than die
Another boring, dreary day
Regardless of
How far away
Or how sublime surroundings get
Or how within the wind I’m swept
Rejected just begets regret
And failures I cannot forget
The culmination?
Ruination
Worst case constant
Contemplation
No scenario
Adds up
To what I’ve ever wanted
Stuck
In this sepulcher
Of bad luck

Approaching the threshold
Of drastic life changes
Done hoping,
Expecting
The rest rearranges
To some more commensurate
Level to compensate
My deficit
With a destiny date
If I see her again
It would have to be fate
Since I squandered my chances
To actively seek it,
Pursue it,
Then rue it
How I couldn’t reach it
From summits I’d plummet
Crestfallen nadir
And in valleys of shadow
The fix would appear
Like a kick to the head
To ascend back atop
Ego mountain triumphant
Then never to stop
Glorifying transcendence
Embodying light
Now I just want to know
If it’s still worth the write

Choose not to partake
I forsake
Pleasure-seeking
Deprive my desires
Of decadent sleeping
In speaking
Reserved
Only purposefully
Verbal
Averse to attachment
And suffer eternal
Existence alone
In a godless indifference
Illusions compel me no more
To their influence

Misfortune continues
Befalling me
Just
As soon as I’ve regained
Some semblance of trust
It will all be ok
Maybe finally work out
Without dread apprehensions
To still think about
There is no resting easy
Until it’s resolved
And of my culpability
Hope I’m absolved
In the interim thinking it over
Too long
All the million plus ways
It goes awfully wrong
Soon enough
Like it seems
It is meant to prevent me
From what pleasant dreams
Still remain possibilities
Where will life lead?
I don’t want to find out
Just give up and recede
So at least I’d preemptively
Cease disappointment
Before it eventually
Knows no avoidance